MFL question (1 Viewer)

[NOONAN]

I think it has to be put out into the open. There's no way he's $1 over on 5 different players. He needs to be checked and let the league figure out what to do. I'd post something on the message board.

In our league, we have two officers. Commish and Asst Commish. The assistant and the Commish exchange picks with each other prior to seeing any other picks as a check and balance. Since the email exchange can be traced, cheating is not possible. That has been working well for us for over 20 years. Never a single issue.

 

[oukurt]

The commish isn't locked out, and hasn't been at all this season. Knowing that, is there anyway to find out if the commish did peak? Regardless I am going to suggest we do the lockout.

I check this for all my leagues each season. Most times the commish just forgets to change this. However he needs to lock himself out.

 

[kinghill]

out of curiosity how old is the son? If he's like 12-14 I'd let dad teach him the lesson and possibly continue with an apology. absent that, the guys gone.

A 12 year old commish?

12 seems a bit young but...I took over commish duties in the first league I played in 1994, I was 16, and that was my 4th year in the league. I switched it up from a TD-only league to add yardage points. The old guys didn't like it.

 

[Pickle Rody]

out of curiosity how old is the son? If he's like 12-14 I'd let dad teach him the lesson and possibly continue with an apology. absent that, the guys gone.

A 12 year old commish?

12 seems a bit young but...I took over commish duties in the first league I played in 1994, I was 16, and that was my 4th year in the league. I switched it up from a TD-only league to add yardage points. The old guys didn't like it.

I can certainly understand if they didn't like it.....you just unilaterally decided something for the whole league (and it sounds as if you did it without any discussion with any of them.) Nothing changes in my league without a full discussion on possible scoring or rule changes with all league members. Then a full league vote. Majority wins, regardless if I like the idea or not.

 

[glumpy]

cheat genes

 

[Neil Beaufort Zod]

I checked the time stamp on the waiver moves, and they were all made after the 2nd place bidder. They were made early in the morning, and not before the waivers were processed. There were actually claims made later, but just not on these players. I mentioned it to 4 other members of the league, and one has the commish password and went in and locked out the commish. He explained why on the message board and we are going to leave it alone for the rest of the season. He called the guys dad to let him know what happened, and he is on our side in the matter. He is going to tell his son what happened, and he is not allowed to log back into the commish name. We will commish the league as a committee for the rest of the season, and if I had to guess the guy won't be playing next year.

Wait-- you locked out the commish, told his daddy, got him on your side, you're having daddy tell him what the league did and he's being grounded from logging on back in the commish's name?I think you should have to be 13 to play fantasy football. I also think you should have some evidence that the guy cheated. Finally, you should try to handle things like grownups would (not by running to daddy), or at least how you'd imagine grownups would do it.I'm surprised so many people are supportive of these actions, especially considering it's not even clear if it's possible for the commish to see what people bid. Furthermore, it's not even clear if the guy knew he was the only one who could see (as someone else said). It seems much more likely that this was an honest mistake than the guy decided to use his secret powers to pluck five guys off the waiver wire in week 1. If he was that diabolical, he'd use it sparingly throughout the year.Now it's a topic for a father/son chat? Unreal.

terrible post

You think it's normal for a fantasy league to run to daddy rather than confront the actual commissioner themselves? I was taught that if you have a problem with someone...you go to them. You don't know if he saw anything, and if he did you don't know if he knew he was the only one who could see it.You might think it's cool for a league to hold a mock trial, find him guilty and sentence him to a lockout (and have daddy deliver the sentence) without even talking to the guy but I think that's silly and I'm going to call it out every time. At least man up and tell the guy yourself.

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

out of curiosity how old is the son? If he's like 12-14 I'd let dad teach him the lesson and possibly continue with an apology. absent that, the guys gone.

A 12 year old commish?

12 seems a bit young but...I took over commish duties in the first league I played in 1994, I was 16, and that was my 4th year in the league. I switched it up from a TD-only league to add yardage points. The old guys didn't like it.

I only said 12 because they mentioned that he was the son of another owner.

 

[bleachercreacher]

I checked the time stamp on the waiver moves, and they were all made after the 2nd place bidder. They were made early in the morning, and not before the waivers were processed. There were actually claims made later, but just not on these players. I mentioned it to 4 other members of the league, and one has the commish password and went in and locked out the commish. He explained why on the message board and we are going to leave it alone for the rest of the season. He called the guys dad to let him know what happened, and he is on our side in the matter. He is going to tell his son what happened, and he is not allowed to log back into the commish name. We will commish the league as a committee for the rest of the season, and if I had to guess the guy won't be playing next year.

Wait-- you locked out the commish, told his daddy, got him on your side, you're having daddy tell him what the league did and he's being grounded from logging on back in the commish's name?I think you should have to be 13 to play fantasy football. I also think you should have some evidence that the guy cheated. Finally, you should try to handle things like grownups would (not by running to daddy), or at least how you'd imagine grownups would do it.I'm surprised so many people are supportive of these actions, especially considering it's not even clear if it's possible for the commish to see what people bid. Furthermore, it's not even clear if the guy knew he was the only one who could see (as someone else said). It seems much more likely that this was an honest mistake than the guy decided to use his secret powers to pluck five guys off the waiver wire in week 1. If he was that diabolical, he'd use it sparingly throughout the year.Now it's a topic for a father/son chat? Unreal.

terrible post

You think it's normal for a fantasy league to run to daddy rather than confront the actual commissioner themselves? I was taught that if you have a problem with someone...you go to them. You don't know if he saw anything, and if he did you don't know if he knew he was the only one who could see it.You might think it's cool for a league to hold a mock trial, find him guilty and sentence him to a lockout (and have daddy deliver the sentence) without even talking to the guy but I think that's silly and I'm going to call it out every time. At least man up and tell the guy yourself.

If this had happened in one of my online leagues I'm with you 100%. However, in a league full of friends, the friendship is worth more than the fantasy football. You might not play in a league like this and not understand where I'm coming from, but going to the dude and just kicking him out on the spot would have ended badly for the league. I understand that what he did was very detrimental to the league also, and if I had not caught him it would have happened all season. However, some things are bigger than the game, and keeping the league together and friendship are definitely more important. As it stands he is no longer the commish, and is extremely embarrassed. None of the second place bidders wanted the players as of last night, so there's no need to force them to take them. All owners agree 100% that the right thing was done and that's all that matters to everyone in the league. As long as everyone is happy. To the guys asking if he's 12 he is not. The guy is 26, but has played with us since he was 16.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

I checked the time stamp on the waiver moves, and they were all made after the 2nd place bidder. They were made early in the morning, and not before the waivers were processed. There were actually claims made later, but just not on these players. I mentioned it to 4 other members of the league, and one has the commish password and went in and locked out the commish. He explained why on the message board and we are going to leave it alone for the rest of the season. He called the guys dad to let him know what happened, and he is on our side in the matter. He is going to tell his son what happened, and he is not allowed to log back into the commish name. We will commish the league as a committee for the rest of the season, and if I had to guess the guy won't be playing next year.

Wait-- you locked out the commish, told his daddy, got him on your side, you're having daddy tell him what the league did and he's being grounded from logging on back in the commish's name?I think you should have to be 13 to play fantasy football. I also think you should have some evidence that the guy cheated. Finally, you should try to handle things like grownups would (not by running to daddy), or at least how you'd imagine grownups would do it.I'm surprised so many people are supportive of these actions, especially considering it's not even clear if it's possible for the commish to see what people bid. Furthermore, it's not even clear if the guy knew he was the only one who could see (as someone else said). It seems much more likely that this was an honest mistake than the guy decided to use his secret powers to pluck five guys off the waiver wire in week 1. If he was that diabolical, he'd use it sparingly throughout the year.Now it's a topic for a father/son chat? Unreal.

terrible post

You think it's normal for a fantasy league to run to daddy rather than confront the actual commissioner themselves? I was taught that if you have a problem with someone...you go to them. You don't know if he saw anything, and if he did you don't know if he knew he was the only one who could see it.You might think it's cool for a league to hold a mock trial, find him guilty and sentence him to a lockout (and have daddy deliver the sentence) without even talking to the guy but I think that's silly and I'm going to call it out every time. At least man up and tell the guy yourself.

If this had happened in one of my online leagues I'm with you 100%. However, in a league full of friends, the friendship is worth more than the fantasy football. You might not play in a league like this and not understand where I'm coming from, but going to the dude and just kicking him out on the spot would have ended badly for the league. I understand that what he did was very detrimental to the league also, and if I had not caught him it would have happened all season. However, some things are bigger than the game, and keeping the league together and friendship are definitely more important. As it stands he is no longer the commish, and is extremely embarrassed. None of the second place bidders wanted the players as of last night, so there's no need to force them to take them. All owners agree 100% that the right thing was done and that's all that matters to everyone in the league. As long as everyone is happy. To the guys asking if he's 12 he is not. The guy is 26, but has played with us since he was 16.

Agreed, you don't attack your friends family members. If you have a problem with a member of your friends family, you go to your friend.And I think it's pretty damn obvious the kid was cheating... No one saw him do it, it couldn't be proven in a court of law, but no way in hell someone bids exactly 1 BB over on 5 different players, only bidding on those 5 players, and all bids were made after the defeated bids, that's no coincidence...

 

[GoBills02]

I'd keep him in the league. Sounds like he's pretty terrible at fantasy football, and would gladly accept his donation to the pot every year, but yeah, he's a scumbag cheat.

 

[Neil Beaufort Zod]

I checked the time stamp on the waiver moves, and they were all made after the 2nd place bidder. They were made early in the morning, and not before the waivers were processed. There were actually claims made later, but just not on these players. I mentioned it to 4 other members of the league, and one has the commish password and went in and locked out the commish. He explained why on the message board and we are going to leave it alone for the rest of the season. He called the guys dad to let him know what happened, and he is on our side in the matter. He is going to tell his son what happened, and he is not allowed to log back into the commish name. We will commish the league as a committee for the rest of the season, and if I had to guess the guy won't be playing next year.

Wait-- you locked out the commish, told his daddy, got him on your side, you're having daddy tell him what the league did and he's being grounded from logging on back in the commish's name?I think you should have to be 13 to play fantasy football. I also think you should have some evidence that the guy cheated. Finally, you should try to handle things like grownups would (not by running to daddy), or at least how you'd imagine grownups would do it.I'm surprised so many people are supportive of these actions, especially considering it's not even clear if it's possible for the commish to see what people bid. Furthermore, it's not even clear if the guy knew he was the only one who could see (as someone else said). It seems much more likely that this was an honest mistake than the guy decided to use his secret powers to pluck five guys off the waiver wire in week 1. If he was that diabolical, he'd use it sparingly throughout the year.Now it's a topic for a father/son chat? Unreal.

terrible post

You think it's normal for a fantasy league to run to daddy rather than confront the actual commissioner themselves? I was taught that if you have a problem with someone...you go to them. You don't know if he saw anything, and if he did you don't know if he knew he was the only one who could see it.You might think it's cool for a league to hold a mock trial, find him guilty and sentence him to a lockout (and have daddy deliver the sentence) without even talking to the guy but I think that's silly and I'm going to call it out every time. At least man up and tell the guy yourself.

If this had happened in one of my online leagues I'm with you 100%. However, in a league full of friends, the friendship is worth more than the fantasy football. You might not play in a league like this and not understand where I'm coming from, but going to the dude and just kicking him out on the spot would have ended badly for the league. I understand that what he did was very detrimental to the league also, and if I had not caught him it would have happened all season. However, some things are bigger than the game, and keeping the league together and friendship are definitely more important. As it stands he is no longer the commish, and is extremely embarrassed. None of the second place bidders wanted the players as of last night, so there's no need to force them to take them. All owners agree 100% that the right thing was done and that's all that matters to everyone in the league. As long as everyone is happy. To the guys asking if he's 12 he is not. The guy is 26, but has played with us since he was 16.

I agree that it's different when we're talking about good friends. That's why I see it the exact opposite. In a league full of friends, you don't go to daddy to kick him out. You confront him and ask him what the deal is. You don't decide to kick him out until he has a chance to explain himself. If he's a real friend, you talk to him in person, ask for an explanation and deal with it that way. You don't default to daddy and let him do the dirty work. Are there any adults in that league at all who can handle a task like that?I wouldn't cheat at fantasy football or abuse commissioner privileges, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a league of friends. But if I was accused of that, I would certainly want the league to confront me directly and give me a chance to explain myself. I wouldn't want them going to my daddy and having him get involved. And if I was a father, I wouldn't want my son's friends to come to me with their tales of woe involving a fantasy football league. I'd tell them they're adults and they should handle it themselves by, you know, actually talking to the person with whom they have a problem. It sounds like this is a long-term friend and the relationship goes beyond fantasy football. That's why I think making his daddy handle it instead of acting like adults and taking care of it in person is unusual. I would think the better the friend, the more you'd want to handle it in person and let them at least explain themselves. Maybe the daddy should be the commissioner so this doesn't happen again.

 

[JamesTheScot]

I know the Commish should lock himself out of Commish features, and everyone in the league gets a notice when this happens. I assume that looking at blind bidding is a commish feature. What were the bids?

Collie- won with 36- 2nd place 35Mark Clayton- won with 8- Second place 7Kiwanuka- Won with 12- second place 11Brandon Lloyd- Won with 3- Second place 2Hillis- Won with 18- Second place 17I wouldn't have a problem if there was some system to the bids, but as you can see there is none.

It is entirely possible that he bid bigger chunks on all these guys, and got them for less, as usually in blind bidding you get the player for a buck more than the next highest bid.

That would be easy enough to check out because it should do that for every player that had multiple people bidding on.

My two leagues use MFL and the blind bid waivers and what you bid is what you spend, regardless of how far over the 2nd highest bidder you are.It looks very fishy based on the bids alone. If you get an incriminating timeline on top of that, I'd get a noose.

 

[JamesTheScot]

I agree that it's different when we're talking about good friends. That's why I see it the exact opposite. In a league full of friends, you don't go to daddy to kick him out. You confront him and ask him what the deal is. You don't decide to kick him out until he has a chance to explain himself. If he's a real friend, you talk to him in person, ask for an explanation and deal with it that way. You don't default to daddy and let him do the dirty work. Are there any adults in that league at all who can handle a task like that?I wouldn't cheat at fantasy football or abuse commissioner privileges, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a league of friends. But if I was accused of that, I would certainly want the league to confront me directly and give me a chance to explain myself. I wouldn't want them going to my daddy and having him get involved. And if I was a father, I wouldn't want my son's friends to come to me with their tales of woe involving a fantasy football league. I'd tell them they're adults and they should handle it themselves by, you know, actually talking to the person with whom they have a problem. It sounds like this is a long-term friend and the relationship goes beyond fantasy football. That's why I think making his daddy handle it instead of acting like adults and taking care of it in person is unusual. I would think the better the friend, the more you'd want to handle it in person and let them at least explain themselves. Maybe the daddy should be the commissioner so this doesn't happen again.

Dude, go back and read the thread.First, they didn't kick him out. They simply took his commish powers away...something that needed to be done right away but that can easily be reversed of the guy came forward with a viable explanation. He's still in the league.Second, they posted on their message board what they had done. That sounds to me like they aren't scurrying around in the dark on this issue.Third, they approached his dad because his dad is in the league. I'm in a league with a dad who has a 20 something son on our short list if we have a spot open up. The dad is my good friend, not the son. So if this sort of thing happened, I'd go to my friend and tell him what I think his son has done. Because that's what I'd want my friends to do if they thought my son was up to something. This isn't a situation where the son's friends ran off to tell his daddy what was going on...the daddy is part of the jury who decided the son was up to no good.Fourth, the son cheated. And he's embarrased about it. They researched and found out enough to know he did.Fifth, the father may have asked to be the one to approach his son. Were you there? Do you have any idea what was said in that conversation? Why do you assume everyone chickened out on confronting the son? For someone who thinks the league jumped to conclusions before giving the kid a chance to explain himself, you've jumped to all sorts of conclusions yourself in your criticism.I think the league handled it the right way. Anytime you've got a long term friendship or blood relationship in a league, you've got the potential for collateral damage. As long as you get to the right place, using some tact and sensibility to get there with as little collateral damage as possible is a good thing.

 

[J Giles Band]

Dude, go back and read the thread.First, they didn't kick him out. They simply took his commish powers away...something that needed to be done right away but that can easily be reversed of the guy came forward with a viable explanation. He's still in the league.Second, they posted on their message board what they had done. That sounds to me like they aren't scurrying around in the dark on this issue.Third, they approached his dad because his dad is in the league. I'm in a league with a dad who has a 20 something son on our short list if we have a spot open up. The dad is my good friend, not the son. So if this sort of thing happened, I'd go to my friend and tell him what I think his son has done. Because that's what I'd want my friends to do if they thought my son was up to something. This isn't a situation where the son's friends ran off to tell his daddy what was going on...the daddy is part of the jury who decided the son was up to no good.Fourth, the son cheated. And he's embarrased about it. They researched and found out enough to know he did.Fifth, the father may have asked to be the one to approach his son. Were you there? Do you have any idea what was said in that conversation? Why do you assume everyone chickened out on confronting the son? For someone who thinks the league jumped to conclusions before giving the kid a chance to explain himself, you've jumped to all sorts of conclusions yourself in your criticism.I think the league handled it the right way. Anytime you've got a long term friendship or blood relationship in a league, you've got the potential for collateral damage. As long as you get to the right place, using some tact and sensibility to get there with as little collateral damage as possible is a good thing.

 

[Neil Beaufort Zod]

I agree that it's different when we're talking about good friends. That's why I see it the exact opposite. In a league full of friends, you don't go to daddy to kick him out. You confront him and ask him what the deal is. You don't decide to kick him out until he has a chance to explain himself. If he's a real friend, you talk to him in person, ask for an explanation and deal with it that way. You don't default to daddy and let him do the dirty work. Are there any adults in that league at all who can handle a task like that?I wouldn't cheat at fantasy football or abuse commissioner privileges, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a league of friends. But if I was accused of that, I would certainly want the league to confront me directly and give me a chance to explain myself. I wouldn't want them going to my daddy and having him get involved. And if I was a father, I wouldn't want my son's friends to come to me with their tales of woe involving a fantasy football league. I'd tell them they're adults and they should handle it themselves by, you know, actually talking to the person with whom they have a problem. It sounds like this is a long-term friend and the relationship goes beyond fantasy football. That's why I think making his daddy handle it instead of acting like adults and taking care of it in person is unusual. I would think the better the friend, the more you'd want to handle it in person and let them at least explain themselves. Maybe the daddy should be the commissioner so this doesn't happen again.

Dude, go back and read the thread.First, they didn't kick him out. They simply took his commish powers away...something that needed to be done right away but that can easily be reversed of the guy came forward with a viable explanation. He's still in the league.Second, they posted on their message board what they had done. That sounds to me like they aren't scurrying around in the dark on this issue.Third, they approached his dad because his dad is in the league. I'm in a league with a dad who has a 20 something son on our short list if we have a spot open up. The dad is my good friend, not the son. So if this sort of thing happened, I'd go to my friend and tell him what I think his son has done. Because that's what I'd want my friends to do if they thought my son was up to something. This isn't a situation where the son's friends ran off to tell his daddy what was going on...the daddy is part of the jury who decided the son was up to no good.Fourth, the son cheated. And he's embarrased about it. They researched and found out enough to know he did.Fifth, the father may have asked to be the one to approach his son. Were you there? Do you have any idea what was said in that conversation? Why do you assume everyone chickened out on confronting the son? For someone who thinks the league jumped to conclusions before giving the kid a chance to explain himself, you've jumped to all sorts of conclusions yourself in your criticism.I think the league handled it the right way. Anytime you've got a long term friendship or blood relationship in a league, you've got the potential for collateral damage. As long as you get to the right place, using some tact and sensibility to get there with as little collateral damage as possible is a good thing.

I appreciate what you're saying and I concede that I was wrong about getting kicked out. I also never said they guy wasn't cheating; just that there were other explanations that had to be investigated (could he see the bids? Did he know nobody else could see them)? So i concede that the guy was a cheater as well if that's what was determined. But if we're talking about real friends, telling daddy and a message board post doesn't cut it. Maybe I'm strange to expect that the league should deal with the person themselves, not daddy. Daddy runs both teams? Sorry, that doesn't make sense to me.If we're talking about collateral damage, it's already there: A "friend" tried to cheat his other friends (unless I'm wrong, this isn't a kid who joined daddy's league. He has people his own age in the league). Those friends didn't think enough of the friendship to deal with him directly. Dad had to tell him what happened. If it was my son, I'd want to be the one to handle it...if he's 12-years-old. If he's a child, I need to explain to him what happened and why he needs to take responsibility for abusing the power he had, and he has to face his friends and apologize to them. He needs to show that it's not reflective of who he is as a person, and coming clean is the right thing to do, even if it's embarrassing.I guess in my head, I can't get over the fact that he's 26-years-old. Daddy is getting involved (beyond a league member) and he's a grown adult. The league is full of adults and they couldn't just deal with their friend themselves. I understand you're saying it's a sensitive issue because they're friends, etc. But letting daddy handle it makes it worse imo. If I have a problem with a friend, and it's sensitive, I'm MORE inclined to deal with them directly, not less. I don't understand the mentality that distance is a better option because it's sensitive. Strikes me as counter-intuitive.Thanks for giving me a better perspective on the issue. I still feel like it was handled great if we're talking about a league of children. Adults...not so much. But I guess it's resolved either way.

 

[Craig_MiamiFL]

Is this the Balloon boy dad?

"Dad, you said this was for the dough"

Dad:

 

[bleachercreacher]

I agree that it's different when we're talking about good friends. That's why I see it the exact opposite. In a league full of friends, you don't go to daddy to kick him out. You confront him and ask him what the deal is. You don't decide to kick him out until he has a chance to explain himself. If he's a real friend, you talk to him in person, ask for an explanation and deal with it that way. You don't default to daddy and let him do the dirty work. Are there any adults in that league at all who can handle a task like that?I wouldn't cheat at fantasy football or abuse commissioner privileges, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a league of friends. But if I was accused of that, I would certainly want the league to confront me directly and give me a chance to explain myself. I wouldn't want them going to my daddy and having him get involved. And if I was a father, I wouldn't want my son's friends to come to me with their tales of woe involving a fantasy football league. I'd tell them they're adults and they should handle it themselves by, you know, actually talking to the person with whom they have a problem. It sounds like this is a long-term friend and the relationship goes beyond fantasy football. That's why I think making his daddy handle it instead of acting like adults and taking care of it in person is unusual. I would think the better the friend, the more you'd want to handle it in person and let them at least explain themselves. Maybe the daddy should be the commissioner so this doesn't happen again.

Dude, go back and read the thread.First, they didn't kick him out. They simply took his commish powers away...something that needed to be done right away but that can easily be reversed of the guy came forward with a viable explanation. He's still in the league.Second, they posted on their message board what they had done. That sounds to me like they aren't scurrying around in the dark on this issue.Third, they approached his dad because his dad is in the league. I'm in a league with a dad who has a 20 something son on our short list if we have a spot open up. The dad is my good friend, not the son. So if this sort of thing happened, I'd go to my friend and tell him what I think his son has done. Because that's what I'd want my friends to do if they thought my son was up to something. This isn't a situation where the son's friends ran off to tell his daddy what was going on...the daddy is part of the jury who decided the son was up to no good.Fourth, the son cheated. And he's embarrased about it. They researched and found out enough to know he did.Fifth, the father may have asked to be the one to approach his son. Were you there? Do you have any idea what was said in that conversation? Why do you assume everyone chickened out on confronting the son? For someone who thinks the league jumped to conclusions before giving the kid a chance to explain himself, you've jumped to all sorts of conclusions yourself in your criticism.I think the league handled it the right way. Anytime you've got a long term friendship or blood relationship in a league, you've got the potential for collateral damage. As long as you get to the right place, using some tact and sensibility to get there with as little collateral damage as possible is a good thing.

I appreciate what you're saying and I concede that I was wrong about getting kicked out. I also never said they guy wasn't cheating; just that there were other explanations that had to be investigated (could he see the bids? Did he know nobody else could see them)? So i concede that the guy was a cheater as well if that's what was determined. But if we're talking about real friends, telling daddy and a message board post doesn't cut it. Maybe I'm strange to expect that the league should deal with the person themselves, not daddy. Daddy runs both teams? Sorry, that doesn't make sense to me.If we're talking about collateral damage, it's already there: A "friend" tried to cheat his other friends (unless I'm wrong, this isn't a kid who joined daddy's league. He has people his own age in the league). Those friends didn't think enough of the friendship to deal with him directly. Dad had to tell him what happened. If it was my son, I'd want to be the one to handle it...if he's 12-years-old. If he's a child, I need to explain to him what happened and why he needs to take responsibility for abusing the power he had, and he has to face his friends and apologize to them. He needs to show that it's not reflective of who he is as a person, and coming clean is the right thing to do, even if it's embarrassing.I guess in my head, I can't get over the fact that he's 26-years-old. Daddy is getting involved (beyond a league member) and he's a grown adult. The league is full of adults and they couldn't just deal with their friend themselves. I understand you're saying it's a sensitive issue because they're friends, etc. But letting daddy handle it makes it worse imo. If I have a problem with a friend, and it's sensitive, I'm MORE inclined to deal with them directly, not less. I don't understand the mentality that distance is a better option because it's sensitive. Strikes me as counter-intuitive.Thanks for giving me a better perspective on the issue. I still feel like it was handled great if we're talking about a league of children. Adults...not so much. But I guess it's resolved either way.

We went to the dad first out of respect for a longtime friend. We didn't do it on the message board, we called him. If it had been my son in a league that cheated, and I logged onto a site one day and saw him getting accused of cheating and I knew nothing of it I would be pissed. I don't care if my kid is an adult or if he did really cheat, my first reacting is always going to be that it is BS that I didn't get a call first. I could be wrong, but that was my first thought. After we talked to the dad he agreed that his son cheated and he asked if he could talk with him. Again, out of respect of a longtime friend we let him talk to him. I've literally been friends with the guys dad since we were kids, and I didn't want to do anything to strain that relationship. It feels kind of funny having to describe that on here. The kid does have a couple of our kids in the league that are his age, but it is mostly us "old" guys that have been in the league forever. Heck, my wife even played in the league for like 14 years. We went from 8 teams to 12 teams years back to start allowing our kids the opportunity to play. This will be my last post on the subject because this thread is turning into an FFA discussion, and IMO no longer belongs in the shark pool. I do not want to keep bumping it. Thanks to everyone that helped me with my initial question and helped me with the issues at hand.

 

[Neil Beaufort Zod]

I agree that it's different when we're talking about good friends. That's why I see it the exact opposite. In a league full of friends, you don't go to daddy to kick him out. You confront him and ask him what the deal is. You don't decide to kick him out until he has a chance to explain himself. If he's a real friend, you talk to him in person, ask for an explanation and deal with it that way. You don't default to daddy and let him do the dirty work. Are there any adults in that league at all who can handle a task like that?I wouldn't cheat at fantasy football or abuse commissioner privileges, and I certainly wouldn't do it in a league of friends. But if I was accused of that, I would certainly want the league to confront me directly and give me a chance to explain myself. I wouldn't want them going to my daddy and having him get involved. And if I was a father, I wouldn't want my son's friends to come to me with their tales of woe involving a fantasy football league. I'd tell them they're adults and they should handle it themselves by, you know, actually talking to the person with whom they have a problem. It sounds like this is a long-term friend and the relationship goes beyond fantasy football. That's why I think making his daddy handle it instead of acting like adults and taking care of it in person is unusual. I would think the better the friend, the more you'd want to handle it in person and let them at least explain themselves. Maybe the daddy should be the commissioner so this doesn't happen again.

Dude, go back and read the thread.First, they didn't kick him out. They simply took his commish powers away...something that needed to be done right away but that can easily be reversed of the guy came forward with a viable explanation. He's still in the league.Second, they posted on their message board what they had done. That sounds to me like they aren't scurrying around in the dark on this issue.Third, they approached his dad because his dad is in the league. I'm in a league with a dad who has a 20 something son on our short list if we have a spot open up. The dad is my good friend, not the son. So if this sort of thing happened, I'd go to my friend and tell him what I think his son has done. Because that's what I'd want my friends to do if they thought my son was up to something. This isn't a situation where the son's friends ran off to tell his daddy what was going on...the daddy is part of the jury who decided the son was up to no good.Fourth, the son cheated. And he's embarrased about it. They researched and found out enough to know he did.Fifth, the father may have asked to be the one to approach his son. Were you there? Do you have any idea what was said in that conversation? Why do you assume everyone chickened out on confronting the son? For someone who thinks the league jumped to conclusions before giving the kid a chance to explain himself, you've jumped to all sorts of conclusions yourself in your criticism.I think the league handled it the right way. Anytime you've got a long term friendship or blood relationship in a league, you've got the potential for collateral damage. As long as you get to the right place, using some tact and sensibility to get there with as little collateral damage as possible is a good thing.

I appreciate what you're saying and I concede that I was wrong about getting kicked out. I also never said they guy wasn't cheating; just that there were other explanations that had to be investigated (could he see the bids? Did he know nobody else could see them)? So i concede that the guy was a cheater as well if that's what was determined. But if we're talking about real friends, telling daddy and a message board post doesn't cut it. Maybe I'm strange to expect that the league should deal with the person themselves, not daddy. Daddy runs both teams? Sorry, that doesn't make sense to me.If we're talking about collateral damage, it's already there: A "friend" tried to cheat his other friends (unless I'm wrong, this isn't a kid who joined daddy's league. He has people his own age in the league). Those friends didn't think enough of the friendship to deal with him directly. Dad had to tell him what happened. If it was my son, I'd want to be the one to handle it...if he's 12-years-old. If he's a child, I need to explain to him what happened and why he needs to take responsibility for abusing the power he had, and he has to face his friends and apologize to them. He needs to show that it's not reflective of who he is as a person, and coming clean is the right thing to do, even if it's embarrassing.I guess in my head, I can't get over the fact that he's 26-years-old. Daddy is getting involved (beyond a league member) and he's a grown adult. The league is full of adults and they couldn't just deal with their friend themselves. I understand you're saying it's a sensitive issue because they're friends, etc. But letting daddy handle it makes it worse imo. If I have a problem with a friend, and it's sensitive, I'm MORE inclined to deal with them directly, not less. I don't understand the mentality that distance is a better option because it's sensitive. Strikes me as counter-intuitive.Thanks for giving me a better perspective on the issue. I still feel like it was handled great if we're talking about a league of children. Adults...not so much. But I guess it's resolved either way.

We went to the dad first out of respect for a longtime friend. We didn't do it on the message board, we called him. If it had been my son in a league that cheated, and I logged onto a site one day and saw him getting accused of cheating and I knew nothing of it I would be pissed. I don't care if my kid is an adult or if he did really cheat, my first reacting is always going to be that it is BS that I didn't get a call first. I could be wrong, but that was my first thought. After we talked to the dad he agreed that his son cheated and he asked if he could talk with him. Again, out of respect of a longtime friend we let him talk to him. I've literally been friends with the guys dad since we were kids, and I didn't want to do anything to strain that relationship. It feels kind of funny having to describe that on here. The kid does have a couple of our kids in the league that are his age, but it is mostly us "old" guys that have been in the league forever. Heck, my wife even played in the league for like 14 years. We went from 8 teams to 12 teams years back to start allowing our kids the opportunity to play. This will be my last post on the subject because this thread is turning into an FFA discussion, and IMO no longer belongs in the shark pool. I do not want to keep bumping it. Thanks to everyone that helped me with my initial question and helped me with the issues at hand.

I'm glad you resolved your issue. It still seems unusual that you went to dad first instead of the grownup man. You're worried about dad seeing it on the message board...but not worried about the commissioner himself seeing it? Seems like the dad should wonder why the son didn't get the call...not worry about why he didn't get a call first. The adult man should have gotten the first call; not his daddy. Again, seems like there's a lot of issues there, perhaps the fallout from letting parents and children (even if they're adults, they're kind of treated that way) play in leagues together. I would hope that grownups would talk to a grownup first, instead of notifying daddy and worried about what he would think. But I guess everyone's social dynamics are different. Again, I'm glad you solved your problem.