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Mix Tape Draft for your Wake or End of Life - now underway (2 Viewers)

Round 12.xx

Modest Mouse - Parting Of The Sensory

"Someday you will you die and something's gonna steal your carbon..." then a suki rag (are you kidding)...and fade out and coda. 

My favorite song of 2007 or 08 and ever by a band I love. Isaac Brock and Johnny Marr together for this. I saw them live, they played this, and Brock goes to Marr "Just. hit. the. pedal." My music critic friend in Middletown, CT, thought that was the biggest big [blank] music diss ever. It may have been. 

I love this song.  

 
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I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 

 
Jeez, cos. All my love coming your way for the best possible outcomes. No one here knows better than I do how great a person you are. 

 
cosjobs said:
I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 
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know that feeling, mah brah. when you do the thankless work of making sure the peeps always have sumna hold on to, you have great fear of blowing all of it by being away that one time. i left the house for 12 hrs to attend a Xmas thang and felt like a revenant.

but, if i may be so bold, your folks' path to the end is sure & even, thx to you, and your sister's path thru her trials or to her own end is not. when you come back, the peeps will hate you once and forget the next time. if you can help your sis or relieve some of her burden, do so. you will always know what you've done for fam and that will keep you sure. a goodly portion of my love & care goes with you as you figure it out.

 
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cosjobs said:
I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 
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sorry cos, that's so very tough.  We enjoyed their company when we were there.  

 
cosjobs said:
I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 
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G_d Damn, that sucks. T's and P's for your sister.

 
cosjobs said:
I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 
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cos, I'm sorry. Just got a uterus cancer diagnosis from a dear person near to me and my mother. She was spotting after menopause. Turns out that that wasn't such a good thing. 

I can't relate to having parents that advanced. Wishing you all the best.  

 
cosjobs said:
I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 
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Wow, sorry that’s rough. Hopefully you’ll figure it out and thinks will work out the best they can. God bless.

 
Round 13.xx 

Venus - Television

This is for NV and his love of lyrics:

It was a tight toy night, streets so bright
The world was so thin between my bones and skin
There stood another person who was a little surprised
To be face to face with a world so alive

How I fell (did you feel low?)
No (huh???)
I fell right into the arms of Venus de Milo

 
13. "Easy" - Commodores

Lionel Richie has nary an original bone in his body. His lyrics would make 5th graders puke in disgust at their corniness. But the dude knows how to write (& rewrite & rewrite &....) a hook. This is really the prototype for the assembly line that Richie was building.

In any case, I wore this 8 track out summer of '77. I loved every song on the album, with a passion only a 15 year-old can summon. It was full of great pop-funk gems ("Brick House" is the other big hit on it). And then there was "Easy". I think I knew that it was Hallmark-level junk, but I would never have admitted it. However, I still love the song and that's why I'm taking it on a Sunday mornin'

 
Wow - so tough to leave so many off the list - gonna start a small run of top 40 AM hits from my early years that mean a lot to me ...and still fit the tone.  

RD 12: Just Walk Away Renee - The Left Banke

Love baroque pop.  Number 220 of Rolling Stones top songs ever.  If this doesn't give a little chill, then you're not from that era.  Redone by a number of top artists, but none as good as the original - though the Four Tops' version is great and was a hit for them as well.  

 
13.xx Somewhere, Aretha Franklin.

My heart is broken. I have fervently believed all my life in the Perfectibility Of Humankind, that we as a species are on a transcendent course. But science proved to us, over a generation ago, that we have both a near-perfect living computer and a poop-throwing monkey within each of us but that the primate makes 98% of our decisions, the computer reduced to the task of abstracting higher motives for our impulses, and has almost total eminence in our personality development.That knowledge hasn't even nudged self-concept nor social conduct, never mind reformed it. Splat. The thought that the Kennedy/Spacerace/Unicef/Civil Rights Act/Beatles era might actually have been our sharkjump oppresses and sickens me. That I will not see us turn the corner on this selfish, benighted phase which has reduced us to preening, scared & angry pretenders makes me want to take that pill right now.

Then again, the beauty & excitement & joy these eyes have seen and this heart has felt, more than one could at any other time of birth, make me so grateful to have lived & be living. Please, my friends, take no part in killing a world where truth & beauty reigns. Please, please value being a citizen more than being a customer. Please, please, please remember that, if we are not gods, we are bugs.

There is a place for us
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
There is a place for us
Hold my hand 
And we're halfway there

Listen to Aretha's altar call, brothers & sisters & queers. Heed Sondheim's plea for hope & action. We are almost there, a place of peace and quiet and open air, with a new way of living, a way of forgiving, but are even closer to trippiing down the rabbit hole for the simple lack of paying attention to anything but ourselves. I wish i could take us there...

 
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cosjobs said:
I'm glad I started this thread. I need to do  a trauma dump and I'm tired of bringing down the GMTAN thread.

My sister was diagnosed with vulva cancer last year. She just went through radiation and chemo this fall and things looked really good in the December followup. Now its already back, new growths and revived growths thought eradicated. She quit drinking a few years back and tried to quit the pain meds too early. Imagine if someone shot radiation between you legs for six weeks. Just destroyed her up in there and not much left to work with. Probably another round of chemo. I am so sad for her. I need to get back up to Boston and be with her, but

My mom and dad are both on hospice. Both have pretty much lost most of their minds. My dad sits and moans with each breath and my mom pretty much sleeps in her chair with her head hanging uncomfortably to one side. I want to do something for them, but not much I can do. I go by and see the every day or two and usually bring them their favorite fast foods. They still remember me and when I do not come.

I'm really reluctant to leave them even though I really feel I need to go see my sis. 
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My grandmother is 98, and has been in a nursing home for almost 6 years now. My mom is very dedicated to her, and goes to see her usually every day. Mom has learned over the years that it is healthy for her own well being to take occasional breaks away from the nursing home. Hospice has also told my mom to make sure she takes breaks away, and they aren't just talking about taking a day off from coming. Take consecutive days off. It sounds like you are very good to your parents, cos. There are people that are getting paid to take care of them. If something were to happen while you are away, they will call you. Go see your sister, and I'm sorry her cancer has returned. Maybe you can get a video of her with your phone saying hi to your parents, and show it to them when you get back to TX. 

 
cosjobs said:
You can start anytime and you can include duplicates
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#1 Jane's Addiction - Stop!

I was 6 years old, probably doing what most 6 years old do - playing with hot wheels or something comparable.  Then all of a sudden I heard this noise from above me. It wasn't like any noise I'd heard before, so I ventured upstairs to investigate.   My brothers had a habit of blaring music, so hearing noise up there wasn't unusual.  But this certain one grabbed me by the throat.  It was that opening riff that initially got my attention, but if you're familiar with the song you know that it never really lets up as it ferociously goes from one part to the next.  I'm sure I don't remember the next 50some minutes totally clearly, but I sat there and listened intently to the rest of the Ritual de lo Habitual album.  And my love for rock music was born.

Like many events in one's life this memory faded away, but upon that brother's sudden death earlier this year (age 42) like anyone who has lost someone before reflection quickly followed.  It wasn't immediate, but sometime over the days and weeks that followed this moment found its way back into my head.  Then I started thinking about all of the music currently in my catalog and how so much of it can be drawn directly back to that day, which is why I'm starting my final mix tape with the song that started it all.

Señores y señoras
Nosotros tenemos más influencia con sus hijos que tú tiene
Pero los queremos
Creado y regado de Los Ángeles, ¡Juana's adicción!

 
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MAC_32 said:
Like many events in one's life this memory faded away, but upon that brother's sudden death earlier this year (age 42) like anyone who has lost someone before reflection quickly followed. 
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Sorry to hear of your brother's passing, MAC_32. I'm listening to the Beastie Boys now because of my own brother's influence on my listening habits. He actually dug Paul's Boutique when it came out, a rare thing. 

 
rockaction said:
Sorry to hear of your brother's passing, MAC_32. I'm listening to the Beastie Boys now because of my own brother's influence on my listening habits. He actually dug Paul's Boutique when it came out, a rare thing. 
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Considered citing them (and early chili peppers) in that write up because I was introduced to all of them almost all at once, but the first one sticks out above the others.  I still have that distinct memory whereas the other two are fuzzier.  My parents hated that I got into all of them as much as I did at that age, but as that intro to Stop says - their music influenced me more than they did.

 
#2 - F.O.D. - Green Day

I spent the next few years of my life experimenting with different types of rock music.  Some rightfully stuck (Nevermind), some for whatever reason didn't and I corrected the problem later (Ten), some I later regretted (Melon Collie), and some I only dared listen to when my parents weren't home (Rage), but one type really took over my weeknight evening stereo listening - punk.  Not just newer bands like Rancid and Offspring but bands that had been around for some time like Social D, Bad Religion, The Clash, etc. Aged 10, 11, 12 I certainly didn't understand a lot of it, but the attitude resonated with me - being an independent thinker that challenged conventional wisdom and authority (way too) often.

None sticks out more than this particular song on this particular album. I had some exposure to MTV by now, but I wouldn't call it extensive.  The two songs from this album I probably played least were two of the three singles - Basket Case and When I come Around.  They probably weren't angry enough for my faux angst ridden state.  But F.O.D?  I'll never forget it because of music class in 5th grade.  We had a bring your own music to class day once every few weeks.  If you're not familiar with the album version of this song the first minute and a half is more subdued acoustic than the live version linked.  So between our uptight teacher not understanding what F.O.D. meant and the tone of the early portions of the song I thought I could sneak it in there without being quickly turned off - because I just did stupid stuff like that to see if I could get away with it.  And the plan worked spectacularly.  When the tone of the song quickly changed with less than a minute to go that teacher was on the other side of the room tending to something probably irrelevant and had no chance to cut the feed before...

You're just
A ####
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck

I'm taking pride
In telling you to #### off and die

I wasn't allowed to bring music into music class any more after that day.

I like to think I've learned over the years to better balance my young punk attitude, but if I'm being honest there will always be that element inside of me.  And there were certainly other instances I can draw back to decades later, but none as vividly as this one.  Anytime I get upset with my kids I quickly remind myself how much of a pain in the ### I was and that this could be a whole lot more difficult.

 
In the Summer of 2012, my son's baseball team went to Cooperstown for a week-long tournament (the thread I started on it can be found here). This was the culmination of a journey   most of us (coaches, parents and kids) had started together 4 years earlier; the coach had plotted out each season to be more competitive than the previous one with Cooperstown as the endgame. My wife and 2 other kids stayed home, as it wouldn't have been fair to his brother and sister since there wasn't much to do up there, so I rode up there with one of the other dads, and it was during the trip up when I heard this song for the first time. As it turned out, it made a whole lot of things about my life coalesce in my mind, and it became an instant favorite.

By this I mean if you remember, there are 2 'Christian' songs on my list, but anyone who reads my posts here would probably have a tough time seeing anything 'Christian' about them.  They're not bad per se, but neither do I make my faith known with them.  Part of that is because rather than the gospels and the epistles about making disciples of all nations, the book of the Bible that has resonated the most with me is Ecclesiastes. Attributed to King Solomon, it's a reflection back on a pretty full life and the lessons/insights he had after experiencing pretty much everything.  This song to me is a secular version of the overriding message of Ecclesiastes.

Days Go By - The Offspring

All your anger, all your hurt doesn't matter in the end

Those days go by, and we all start again

What you had and what you lost, they're all memories in the wind

Those days go by and we all start again.

:bye:

 
14.xx - Jazz Waltz from "Last Tango in Paris" soundtrack, Gato Barbieri

There hasn't been a single song in my mix about death or mortality. I am vital. I am eternal. When my effect is gone, the result remains. I have improved my energy and made virtually everybody with whom i've come into contact consider the value of improving theirs. I have kept truth, beauty, love ahead of self as much as i could.

This is the sound of my life. Hear its humor, feel its fervor. Telling viewers on WCAX-TV about the impact of Sputnik on "the foreign situation" when i was three. My 2nd grade teacher agreeing to allow me 5 minutes of standup weekly if i wouldn't tell jokes during class. Winning my Li'l Bardot. Fighting off a rapist in my first month as a runaway and walking the westernmost 85 miles of Wyoming, sure that i was the subject of a Hollywood-type manhunt (cut him up pretty bad & held the biggest party i ever did when the Statute of Limitations ran out on the "assault"). Independent study w the late, great Martin Rabin (my "dissertations" were on the assassination of Fred Hampton and origin & use of the word "mother####er") to qualify for a HS diploma. Spending 6 wks teaching my first special-needs student to tie his shoes and having him celebrate by dropping his pants and peeing on me. The ZPG concert, my entry into showbiz. The Sweet & Shiny Eyes Quartet. Eight women at once. Feeling the audience turn the corner with me in Dinner & Divorce. Improvising with Leah & Mark. Hearing that SNL stole one of my radio sketches. The humility and awe which the Sangre de Christo Mts impressed upon me. My SNL audition. Writing Fly w Frankie. Watching Scary Mary at work. Completing my first calendar year with no other income but from gambling. Getting hosed down by the bartenders' drink nozzles as Mary & i got kicked out of the disco for our Nazi sodomy dance to Relax. Singing Hey Joe and weddings with Kathy. Mary insisting i marry her before she died. Watching my little Boomer DOMINATE the incubator so i could hold him. Creating my behavioral system. How humility has served to allow me to live miserably so well in the tomb to which i've been exiled lo these 5 yrs.

I can hear every note of the turbulence & glory of my life in this mad, bad tango. Gimme the pill.

 
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Uruk-Hai said:
Crap. Do I have 14 picks in? Spreadsheet isn't updated.
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Oh, ####. I thought either Mr. Ected was doing or it wasn't up. I think I can get up to snuff, just need to know how and who is still doing the draft.   

eta* Oh, #### again. I looked at it. It's sort of beyond my ken at this point. I can do simple editing; but that's a bit above my pay grade.  

 
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15.xx The Art of the Fugue, Johann Sebastian Bach

It's an hour and a half long, so too long for the mix, but the music i want to go out on. Because it is the only truly eternal thing i know. The first time i heard it, i was thunderstruck to find how deeply and succinctly it matched the rhythms of my mind. And that is why we've all been pretenders since Bach and probably always will be. JSB is singular because he captured what Pythagoras had long-before suggested - that the math of music is the math of life (or at least consciousness) itself. Its chaos is not fitful, its order not limiting, it is relentless but delicate, everlasting but tactile. It will therefore be the soundtrack to my re-entry to the continuum. Good night.

 
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wikkidpissah said:
15.xx The Art of the Fugue, Johann Sebastian Bach

It's an hour and a half long, so too long for the mix, but the music i want to go out on. Because it is the only truly eternal thing i know. The first time i heard it, i was thunderstruck to find how deeply and succinctly it matched the rhythms of my mind. And that is why we've all been pretenders since Bach and probably always will be. JSB is singular because he captured what Pythagoras had long-before suggested - that the math of music is the math of life (or at least consciousness) itself. Its chaos is not fitful, its order not limiting, it is relentless but delicate, everlasting but tactile. It will therefore be the soundtrack to my re-entry to the continuum. Good night.
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Aaaahhhh, Bach!

 
MAC_32 said:
Considered citing them (and early chili peppers) in that write up because I was introduced to all of them almost all at once, but the first one sticks out above the others.  I still have that distinct memory whereas the other two are fuzzier.  My parents hated that I got into all of them as much as I did at that age, but as that intro to Stop says - their music influenced me more than they did.
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My parents have the same lament. Not about Jane's, but music. It's a fine line to walk. 

 
Binky The Doormat said:
RD 14: Never My Love - The Association

This is one of my "growing up" songs that I loved - and still do.  Not considered hip, not cool, but damn some of these top 40s AM hits really takes me back to memories as a kid.  I can practically smell my baseball glove. 😊
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I love this song, actually. I love this mention to The Association.   

Never my love

My mother used to listen to this in the car when I was growing up and we had it on eight track.  

 
Binky The Doormat said:
RD 14: Never My Love - The Association

This is one of my "growing up" songs that I loved - and still do.  Not considered hip, not cool, but damn some of these top 40s AM hits really takes me back to memories as a kid.  I can practically smell my baseball glove. 😊
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My first big date was to see The Association @ the Stoughton Armory in Feb 1969 with the most zaftig girl - her later sexual assault of me scared me off big-chested girls for decades -  i've ever dated and future mother of my 48yo son. My face, heart & trousers all nearly exploded dancing with Patty to this song and i STILL dont like it.

 
I am behind and ready to wrap it 

Rd 12

Chimes of Freedom by The Byrds

pretty self explanatory- this is for freedom- those who have it, those who had it and those who have it coming 

Rd 13

Getting in Tune by The Who

This is for my dad. The Who was his favorite band and he set me on my musical, movie, book and moral path for life. He’s a great man. I know he is proud of me but I’m not sure I’ll ever see myself as fully measuring up. 

Rd 14

Higher Love by Steve Winwood

This doesn’t really fit but who cares, it’s what I’m hoping for at the end 

 
Ilov80s said:
I am behind and ready to wrap it 

Rd 12

Chimes of Freedom by The Byrds

pretty self explanatory- this is for freedom- those who have it, those who had it and those who have it coming 

Rd 13

Getting in Tune by The Who

This is for my dad. The Who was his favorite band and he set me on my musical, movie, book and moral path for life. He’s a great man. I know he is proud of me but I’m not sure I’ll ever see myself as fully measuring up. 

Rd 14

Higher Love by Steve Winwood

This doesn’t really fit but who cares, it’s what I’m hoping for at the end 
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beauties there Ilove80s

 
I'm going to top off my mix with two songs.  

Second to last song: This Year, by The Mountain Goats ...one of my favorite sensations is driving down the Interstate on a frigid night with the window down and the heater blasting full bore. This song of this song captures that sensation.

Last Song: A Crack in Time, Calvin Russell

Bury me in West Texas.

 
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#1 Stop! - Jane's Addiction

#2 F.O.D. - Green Day

#3 Can't Change Me - Chris Cornell

So I was a punk. I knew I was a punk. I didnt want to be a punk (sorta). So I spent a few years trying to be something that I wasn't because I felt like I was supposed to. At some point I started to realize that I shouldn't be trying to do something or be someone that I wasn't. And then I heard this song. Then it all made sense. #### you I wont do what you tell me may have been pre teen Mac, but the next phase came with more introspection. And that was Can't Change Me. 

 
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