Nigel
Footballguy
I went with my wife to her ultrasound two weeks ago - she was about 22 weeks pregnant at the time. For those that have been to one, you know the drill. First the ultrasound technician comes in and does a bunch of measurements and takes pictures, then the doctor comes in and takes a look for himself, confirms what the technician came up with, etc. It is a very cool and moving experience as a mom and dad to be to see the little person flipping around, sucking its toes, waving its hands, etc. Anyway, the technician did her thing and left, leaving us alone while waiting for the doctor to come in - and my wife says "the baby's heart didn't look symetrical to me." I was like , "Did you sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night or something? I'm sure everything is fine." Then the doctor came in and for 15 minutes straight took picture after picture and measurement after measurement of the baby's heart. Clearly the first lady had told him to take a look. My wife was shooting me "I told you so" glances, and I was freaking out on the inside but trying to stay cool.
Anyway, the doctor finished up and then talked to us - "Most everything looks great: the brain is perfectly developed, all the skeletal measurements are proportionate and healthy looking, kidneys look good. The only concern I have is that I can't definitively tell if the heart is developing normally. The good news is that by this point in the pregnancy a serious defect should be more apparent. On the other hand, some of the measurements are coming back as abnormal and I'm having a hard time getting a conclusive look. I'm 90% sure that everything is fine, but I need you to come back in 4 weeks and depending how that goes, set up an appointment with a fetal cardiologist."
Four weeks is a LONG time to have something like this hanging over you. My wife is a worrier, always assumes the worst, and has been an emotional wreck since we left that office. I'm trying to keep her thinking positively, focussing on the 90% chance that everything is fine. I sincerely believe all will be alright when we go next time, but if it isn't then we'll deal with it. There's no use worrying. She keeps saying "if I could tell there was something wrong thsn it MUST be bad" - talking about mother's intuition and all that jazz. I don't know what I can say to make her feel better and I don't know how the hell she is going to make it another two weeks before we get this sorted out - and all this stress can't be good for the baby.
This can't be that uncommon - anyone been through anything like this have advice on how to help the wife cope with the uncertainty?
Anyway, the doctor finished up and then talked to us - "Most everything looks great: the brain is perfectly developed, all the skeletal measurements are proportionate and healthy looking, kidneys look good. The only concern I have is that I can't definitively tell if the heart is developing normally. The good news is that by this point in the pregnancy a serious defect should be more apparent. On the other hand, some of the measurements are coming back as abnormal and I'm having a hard time getting a conclusive look. I'm 90% sure that everything is fine, but I need you to come back in 4 weeks and depending how that goes, set up an appointment with a fetal cardiologist."
Four weeks is a LONG time to have something like this hanging over you. My wife is a worrier, always assumes the worst, and has been an emotional wreck since we left that office. I'm trying to keep her thinking positively, focussing on the 90% chance that everything is fine. I sincerely believe all will be alright when we go next time, but if it isn't then we'll deal with it. There's no use worrying. She keeps saying "if I could tell there was something wrong thsn it MUST be bad" - talking about mother's intuition and all that jazz. I don't know what I can say to make her feel better and I don't know how the hell she is going to make it another two weeks before we get this sorted out - and all this stress can't be good for the baby.
This can't be that uncommon - anyone been through anything like this have advice on how to help the wife cope with the uncertainty?
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