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*Official Adoption Thread* (1 Viewer)

Giant Wooden Badger said:
Finally some good news. Three years after officially starting the process, we received our referral from China today. Looks like we're headed over there in September (or so) to pick up our daughter. She turned 1 in May. :banned:
That is great news! We have some friends who have been in the same process for about the same time period. Hopefully they'll hear something soon.Congratulations!! :thumbup: :thumbup:
Thanks, CE.Haven't really had a chance to find this thread and give an update. We got back from China in late September. Our daughter is doing extremely well so far. Definitely worth the wait.
Great news! :shock:Congrats.We're still doing paperwork, and paperwork, and more paperwork. It has been determined that we are not criminals or child abusers, and we have the documents to prove it. We meet with our agency this Friday or next and start actually preparing for the interview/home study process. It's going slowly, but it's moving along.
 
Giant Wooden Badger said:
Finally some good news. Three years after officially starting the process, we received our referral from China today. Looks like we're headed over there in September (or so) to pick up our daughter. She turned 1 in May. :lmao:
That is great news! We have some friends who have been in the same process for about the same time period. Hopefully they'll hear something soon.Congratulations!! :lmao: :lmao:
Thanks, CE.Haven't really had a chance to find this thread and give an update. We got back from China in late September. Our daughter is doing extremely well so far. Definitely worth the wait.
:lmao: That's awesome. Can't wait to have our own little Chinese baby.
 
Just wanted to pop in and add that me and Mrs. AW are in the initial stages of the domestic adoption process. We went to a workshop over the weekend and have joined a local support group. It looks to be an interesting experience, that's for sure.

 
Sounds like things are moving along for everyone very well. Our domestic adoption is moving along, things were slowed down a bit because the county's original caseworker didn't send a bunch of notices and paperwork to the birth parents in Spanish. She left (or was fired) and when the new caseworker took over she had to go back and redo a bunch of stuff, her basic feeling was better to take an extra 8 months now and do everything right then find out down the road that something was done wrong. We also had to do a bonding evaluation with the boys a few months ago as did the birth parents. The report on that came back that we have an extremely strong bond with both boys while our little guy (he'll be 2 next week) has no bond what so ever with the parents and our older boy (who just turned 5) has a very limited bond with them. We have a hearing scheduled for November 24th to terminate all parental rights from the birth parents, after that we have a 30 day waiting period until we can file our adoption paperwork. Our agency caseworker is already getting that together so it can be filed the first day it is allowed. We had hoped to be done by now but the delay hasn't been bad, the birth parents don't even show at the monthly visits half the time, in fact the haven't seen the boys since August. On the plus side since we are still technically foster parents at this point they county pays for daycare while my wife is at school so we are putting part of what we save aside and once the adoption is complete we'll use that to open college funds for both boys.

For those asking about the bonding with grandparents, although our situation was different with the boys being 3 1/2 and 6 months old when they came to us I can give you our experience. My parents met them the first weekend we had them as did my mother in law, my father in law met them a few weeks later. They formed a bond with both our parents right away but nothing like they have with us, more of just an immediate trust because it was someone there for them. Our older boy formed a bond with my dad as he loved to sit on Poppy's lap and watch the race on Sunday afternoons when they would come over. My dad passed away unexpectedly in January and I'm very thankful that he got to spend the time with the boys he did and also form the relationship he did. Our oldest kept a picture my mom gave him of my dad and he keeps it on his night stand and when he says his prayers always includes something about blessing Poppy in heaven. My advice don't miss out on giving your kids or your parents the chance for that because you never know what will happen. Your kids will know you are the parents because you are with them 24/7, but they should have a bond with their grandparents as well.

 
Well, we're about to go into the "waiting phase" for our second domestic adoption (just finishing up our family album). Last time we were matched with a birthmother in about a month and a half and brought our daughter home a month later. We are trying to prepare ourselves to wait a lot longer this time as the first one was unusually quick. I'm hoping the waiting will be a lot less stressful this time around.
Quick update: it didn't take a year.We recently welcomed a new baby girl into our home and we couldn't be more excited! We feel so blessed.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Well, we're about to go into the "waiting phase" for our second domestic adoption (just finishing up our family album). Last time we were matched with a birthmother in about a month and a half and brought our daughter home a month later. We are trying to prepare ourselves to wait a lot longer this time as the first one was unusually quick. I'm hoping the waiting will be a lot less stressful this time around.
Quick update: it didn't take a year.We recently welcomed a new baby girl into our home and we couldn't be more excited! We feel so blessed.
Wow! That WAS quick! Congrats!!! :goodposting:
 
Well, we're about to go into the "waiting phase" for our second domestic adoption (just finishing up our family album). Last time we were matched with a birthmother in about a month and a half and brought our daughter home a month later. We are trying to prepare ourselves to wait a lot longer this time as the first one was unusually quick. I'm hoping the waiting will be a lot less stressful this time around.
Quick update: it didn't take a year.We recently welcomed a new baby girl into our home and we couldn't be more excited! We feel so blessed.
:thumbup: Congrats!
 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.

 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.
You and your family are in my prayers, CE. What all is involved in the home study?
 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.
My wife and I will be praying for you guys. I'm sure that you'll be fine. Remind me, are you adopting through an agency, or through the child welfare system?
 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.
You and your family are in my prayers, CE. What all is involved in the home study?
Thanks, prayers are appreciated.Our caseworker from the adoption agency comes to our house and snoops around. Actually, I'm not completely sure what they look for. Mostly that it's a safe environment, I think. We've been told to make sure we have smoke/CO2 detectors, outlet covers, kitchen cupboard door childproof locks... things like that. And they want to see that you are ready for children. Not completely, because we're not sure of the age of the child/children we'll be getting, but at least that you're in position to be ready soon. We've been cleaning and painting. We have one bedroom set up for an infant/toddler and another set up for an older child. And most importantly we have a Nintendo Wii. :blackdot:
 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.
My wife and I will be praying for you guys. I'm sure that you'll be fine. Remind me, are you adopting through an agency, or through the child welfare system?
Kinda both. We're working with Bethany Christian Services, but we'll be adopting through PA's foster system.Thanks for the prayers. :blackdot:
 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.
My wife and I will be praying for you guys. I'm sure that you'll be fine. Remind me, are you adopting through an agency, or through the child welfare system?
Kinda both. We're working with Bethany Christian Services, but we'll be adopting through PA's foster system.Thanks for the prayers. :thumbup:
Sounds like you guys should have all your bases covered. I know the home study for my friends that are adopting through NJ's foster system was a LOT more rigorous than the one my wife and I went through for our international adoption. They actually came through and measured the square footage of the house, of the child's bedroom, of the distance between the bedroom and the nearest smoke detector, etc. They even initially failed and had to be re-inspected because they didn't have a lid for one of their garbage cans outside! But it sounds like you have the important stuff down and that anything that could come up during the inspection could be easily fixed. I'm not sure exactly what the process is for you or what the possibilities are, but I would strongly recommend making it very clear that you will not accept short term fostering. My friends are part of the foster to adopt program in NJ but made the mistake of accepting an "emergency" foster care placement back in June. They took in 3 girls. They still have them and will most likely have them at least through June of 2009. At that point, if there isn't any progress made with the parents, the state will finally start down the path of terminating parental rights and finding the girls a more permanent placement (my friends only want to adopt up to 2 kids). So by accepting the "emergency" foster placement, it's going to be at LEAST a year more for them before they'll actually be in the referral stage of the adoption process again. I mean, God has his plans, but fostering and adopting are two pretty hugely different undertakings with totally different mentalities, responsibilities and freedoms attached to them. So unless you're really prepared to foster a child rather than adopt, I'd make sure that it's not even going to ever be put on the table.
 
Our home study is next Friday. That's pretty much the final step before we're in the system. Then we wait. Hopefully not too long. Now that we've come to this point I'm not sure I can stand a long wait.
My wife and I will be praying for you guys. I'm sure that you'll be fine. Remind me, are you adopting through an agency, or through the child welfare system?
Kinda both. We're working with Bethany Christian Services, but we'll be adopting through PA's foster system.Thanks for the prayers. :lmao:
Sounds like you guys should have all your bases covered. I know the home study for my friends that are adopting through NJ's foster system was a LOT more rigorous than the one my wife and I went through for our international adoption. They actually came through and measured the square footage of the house, of the child's bedroom, of the distance between the bedroom and the nearest smoke detector, etc. They even initially failed and had to be re-inspected because they didn't have a lid for one of their garbage cans outside! But it sounds like you have the important stuff down and that anything that could come up during the inspection could be easily fixed. I'm not sure exactly what the process is for you or what the possibilities are, but I would strongly recommend making it very clear that you will not accept short term fostering. My friends are part of the foster to adopt program in NJ but made the mistake of accepting an "emergency" foster care placement back in June. They took in 3 girls. They still have them and will most likely have them at least through June of 2009. At that point, if there isn't any progress made with the parents, the state will finally start down the path of terminating parental rights and finding the girls a more permanent placement (my friends only want to adopt up to 2 kids). So by accepting the "emergency" foster placement, it's going to be at LEAST a year more for them before they'll actually be in the referral stage of the adoption process again. I mean, God has his plans, but fostering and adopting are two pretty hugely different undertakings with totally different mentalities, responsibilities and freedoms attached to them. So unless you're really prepared to foster a child rather than adopt, I'd make sure that it's not even going to ever be put on the table.
Thanks for the advice. With what Mrs. CE went through when we were working with the fertility specialist, I'm not sure that she could emotionally handle a foster situation. So we've been very clear that we are only interested in foster to adopt.
 
Good luck CE. We will be praying for your family as well. My husband and I are building a house right now and as soon as its completed, we are starting the process to become foster parents with the intent of adopting as well. We haven't started trying for children yet but we know we want to adopt children as well as have children so we are going to start the process as early as possible!

 
Good luck CE. We will be praying for your family as well. My husband and I are building a house right now and as soon as its completed, we are starting the process to become foster parents with the intent of adopting as well. We haven't started trying for children yet but we know we want to adopt children as well as have children so we are going to start the process as early as possible!
God for you. :thumbup: Just do me a favor. Make sure you adopt girls. Because no little boy should have to grow up rooting for the Bengals. :D :shrug:
 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.

 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :confused:
 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :mellow:
Thanks. Found out this afternoon that the lady that manages our adoption agency really thinks we would be a good fit for the 2 girls. Our caseworker wrote up our file this afternoon and has already submitted it to the county caseworker for the girls. The manager is advocating hard on our behalf. So we should know in a few weeks how this is going to work out.
 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :lmao:
Thanks. Found out this afternoon that the lady that manages our adoption agency really thinks we would be a good fit for the 2 girls. Our caseworker wrote up our file this afternoon and has already submitted it to the county caseworker for the girls. The manager is advocating hard on our behalf. So we should know in a few weeks how this is going to work out.
PTL! This is great news and what a great time of year for this to happen! Keep us posted if you hear anything and as soon as they arrive...we want pictures! All your photography skills will come in handy very soon. Praying for your new family to multiply soon!
 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :wub:
Thanks. Found out this afternoon that the lady that manages our adoption agency really thinks we would be a good fit for the 2 girls. Our caseworker wrote up our file this afternoon and has already submitted it to the county caseworker for the girls. The manager is advocating hard on our behalf. So we should know in a few weeks how this is going to work out.
Great news, CE. Looks like 2009 is going to be a big year for you.BTW, I felt the same way as you, wanting to teach all that guy stuff to a son. Then my daughter arrived and I realized I did enough guy stuff growing up. Daughters are awesome.
 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :goodposting:
Thanks. Found out this afternoon that the lady that manages our adoption agency really thinks we would be a good fit for the 2 girls. Our caseworker wrote up our file this afternoon and has already submitted it to the county caseworker for the girls. The manager is advocating hard on our behalf. So we should know in a few weeks how this is going to work out.
Great news, CE. Looks like 2009 is going to be a big year for you.BTW, I felt the same way as you, wanting to teach all that guy stuff to a son. Then my daughter arrived and I realized I did enough guy stuff growing up. Daughters are awesome.
Don't forget that even though they are girls...that doesn't mean they don't want to curl up on your lap and watch football or hockey or even throw the ball. Some of my best memories were my dad teaching me how to ride my bike, throwing a football and baseball with me, taking me to Bengals & Red's games, and watching games on his lap. I grew up being a tomboy but still liking a lot of girlie things. Great balance for when she gets older of loving sports and still having her feminine side!
 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :fishing:
Thanks. Found out this afternoon that the lady that manages our adoption agency really thinks we would be a good fit for the 2 girls. Our caseworker wrote up our file this afternoon and has already submitted it to the county caseworker for the girls. The manager is advocating hard on our behalf. So we should know in a few weeks how this is going to work out.
Great news, CE. Looks like 2009 is going to be a big year for you.BTW, I felt the same way as you, wanting to teach all that guy stuff to a son. Then my daughter arrived and I realized I did enough guy stuff growing up. Daughters are awesome.
Don't forget that even though they are girls...that doesn't mean they don't want to curl up on your lap and watch football or hockey or even throw the ball. Some of my best memories were my dad teaching me how to ride my bike, throwing a football and baseball with me, taking me to Bengals & Red's games, and watching games on his lap. I grew up being a tomboy but still liking a lot of girlie things. Great balance for when she gets older of loving sports and still having her feminine side!
Yeah, I know I'll love them no matter what. And there's no guarantee a son would like sports anyway. Actually it's my wife that's always been more convinced that I should have a son. But we've placed it in God's hands, so we know it will be the right children regardless of their gender.Thanks for the encouragement and the prayers. I'll be sure to post updates as things move along.
 
Congrats CE...we have our home study in 2 weeks. I think that's the last thing before we're officially on "the list".

 
Had our home study today. Went well. Our caseworker told us about two little girls, ages 3 & 4, that they are looking to place in January. They are biracial (caucasian/hispanic) and have no real problems. She's not completely sure why they are in the system. As a guy I've always thought about teaching a little boy how to throw a baseball, or shoot a slap shot, but I'm sure having a couple of daughters would be wonderful.
Awesome, glad to hear that it went well. :lmao:
Thanks. Found out this afternoon that the lady that manages our adoption agency really thinks we would be a good fit for the 2 girls. Our caseworker wrote up our file this afternoon and has already submitted it to the county caseworker for the girls. The manager is advocating hard on our behalf. So we should know in a few weeks how this is going to work out.
Great news, CE. Looks like 2009 is going to be a big year for you.BTW, I felt the same way as you, wanting to teach all that guy stuff to a son. Then my daughter arrived and I realized I did enough guy stuff growing up. Daughters are awesome.
Girls need to know how to throw a baseball too. My dad taught me to use every tool in his woodworking shop. I look a lot cooler using a drill press than my son does using my sewing machine. :lmao:
 
Don't forget that even though they are girls...that doesn't mean they don't want to curl up on your lap and watch football or hockey or even throw the ball. Some of my best memories were my dad teaching me how to ride my bike, throwing a football and baseball with me, taking me to Bengals & Red's games, and watching games on his lap. I grew up being a tomboy but still liking a lot of girlie things. Great balance for when she gets older of loving sports and still having her feminine side!
This. :lmao:
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.

But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.

Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.

So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.

I can't even imagine having four children. :goodposting:

 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :goodposting:
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :no:
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
Thanks. Not sure we're quite ready for that many arrows in our quiver, but we'll be doing a lot of praying and discussing over the next few days.
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :no:
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
Thanks. Not sure we're quite ready for that many arrows in our quiver, but we'll be doing a lot of praying and discussing over the next few days.
You can do it! I have those ages and they are great ages to have! And that 6 yo girl is going to be a little mommy. Would they be adopted or fostered? At that age they are so flexible that you will be able to work them into your routine, as long as you stay consistent! Would Mrs. CE be staying home with them if you adopted? That would make their transition quicker.Wait, I don't have a 3 yo anymore. They grow so fast.
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :loco:
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
Thanks. Not sure we're quite ready for that many arrows in our quiver, but we'll be doing a lot of praying and discussing over the next few days.
You can do it! I have those ages and they are great ages to have! And that 6 yo girl is going to be a little mommy. Would they be adopted or fostered? At that age they are so flexible that you will be able to work them into your routine, as long as you stay consistent! Would Mrs. CE be staying home with them if you adopted? That would make their transition quicker.Wait, I don't have a 3 yo anymore. They grow so fast.
They would be foster to adopt.Mrs. CE may be able to work from home for a while after we adopt, but we can't afford to be without her income, especially if we add four kids to the mix.
 
CE, I have a very good friend of mine that is doing the foster to adopt thing. I've talked about them a bit on the boards. They had 2 kids naturally and were looking at adopting 1-2 more. They then got 3 emergency foster kids this past summer. So suddenly they had 5 kids in their house! They've had to totally adjust to having so many more kids! But they love it and have indicated to child services that they'd even be willing to take up to 2 more at this point!

Honestly, if you ever have any questions or want to be put in touch with them, PM me and I can put you in touch with them to talk or ask questions.

 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :thumbup:
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
Thanks. Not sure we're quite ready for that many arrows in our quiver, but we'll be doing a lot of praying and discussing over the next few days.
You can do it! I have those ages and they are great ages to have! And that 6 yo girl is going to be a little mommy. Would they be adopted or fostered? At that age they are so flexible that you will be able to work them into your routine, as long as you stay consistent! Would Mrs. CE be staying home with them if you adopted? That would make their transition quicker.Wait, I don't have a 3 yo anymore. They grow so fast.
They would be foster to adopt.Mrs. CE may be able to work from home for a while after we adopt, but we can't afford to be without her income, especially if we add four kids to the mix.
Does PA have a stipend system for adoption? FL does. While I am not sure I agree with it politically, if it is there, I would suggest using it. A friend who adopted here in FL gets $300 per kid, more for the severely special needs one, til they turn 18. Then they get full college tuition paid.
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :lmao:
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
Thanks. Not sure we're quite ready for that many arrows in our quiver, but we'll be doing a lot of praying and discussing over the next few days.
You can do it! I have those ages and they are great ages to have! And that 6 yo girl is going to be a little mommy. Would they be adopted or fostered? At that age they are so flexible that you will be able to work them into your routine, as long as you stay consistent! Would Mrs. CE be staying home with them if you adopted? That would make their transition quicker.Wait, I don't have a 3 yo anymore. They grow so fast.
They would be foster to adopt.Mrs. CE may be able to work from home for a while after we adopt, but we can't afford to be without her income, especially if we add four kids to the mix.
Does PA have a stipend system for adoption? FL does. While I am not sure I agree with it politically, if it is there, I would suggest using it. A friend who adopted here in FL gets $300 per kid, more for the severely special needs one, til they turn 18. Then they get full college tuition paid.
Yeah, there is a certain amount that they get, but I can't recall the specifics. It helps, but it's not a huge amount, and it only lasts until they are officially adopted. And yes, PA does have other perks like healthcare until they are 18 and there are colleges that have money set aside specifically for kids who come out of the foster system, but I don't think it's fully covered like in FL.
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :)
You're all in my prayers, CE. I'm praying that God will guide everyone involved.
 
Lot of interesting things in the adoption training. Some of the training felt kind of useless and some of it my wife and I even disagreed with, but overall it was a lot of good stuff.Lots of good info on attachment with the child. One of their recommendations seemed pretty extreme though. Although we both agreed that if, after further research, it seemed like this was the typical recommendation, that we would go ahead and do it. They said that once we get back, there should be NO contact with anyone else for the first two weeks. No family or friends should be allowed to meet the child, no taking the child outside of the house, just contact between parents and child. They said that this was crucial to creating the attachment between child and caregiver, otherwise the child may be confused and not create the needed attachment between child and parents.There also was a lot of good information about traveling. For some reason I hadn't though about starting to get immunizations done already. But some of those need to be done quite a bit in advance. It also included good perspectives on how different things are going to seem for our child at first and how much of an adjustment it will be. Some of it I hadn't really considered before. The food will be different, the language will be different, many sights and sounds will be different, etc. Another thing that we didn't particularly like was the admonition that we essentially needed to move to an area that is predominantly our child's culture, send him/her to a school with children predominantly of that culture, and make new friends that are all that culture. I'm fully ok with exposing our child to his cultural background, but I refuse to pigeonhole him/her. If he/she is curious and wants to learn more, we'll do whatever we can to foster that. But ultimately, we want our child to feel like his skin color and the way he looks is a physical trait more than anything else.
The attachment stuff is absolute :thumbup: - we brought our child home from the hospital and were practically greeted by about 30 of our closest family and friends. We had visitors all that week and next. Nicholas couldn't be more attached to us. I could see it being more of an issue with older kids (and maybe that's what you were talking about) but otherwise that's ridiculous. The stuff about moving to an area of the child's culture is frankly outrageous and sounds like political activism rather than anything having to do with good parenting.
 
OK, here's an update on things. We're still waiting to hear about the 2 little girls.But today Mrs. CE got a call from the lady that manages our agency. They have a sibling group of four. Yes, I said four. I won't go into all of the details, because we don't have them all yet. But we do know that there are two girls, ages 6 and 4, and two boys, ages 3 and 1. The girls are caucasian and the boys are biracial. The mother has had issues with post-partum depression after each delivery and the state/county has been working with her for years without much success. She has struggled with drug/alcohol issues as well.Four is way more than we originally felt we could handle, but now that the opportunity has been presented to us we feel that we need to pray about it. It would mean some major adjustments. Mrs CE's job involves travel a couple times per month, so that makes it even more complicated.So those of you who pray, we could use a few on our behalf. We just want to make the right decision.I can't even imagine having four children. :)
Wow how exciting! When you ask God to bless you...you have to be prepared to really be blessed! Sounds like your entire life could change really soon...we will be praying for you. Make sure you keep us posted!
Thanks. Not sure we're quite ready for that many arrows in our quiver, but we'll be doing a lot of praying and discussing over the next few days.
You can do it! I have those ages and they are great ages to have! And that 6 yo girl is going to be a little mommy. Would they be adopted or fostered? At that age they are so flexible that you will be able to work them into your routine, as long as you stay consistent! Would Mrs. CE be staying home with them if you adopted? That would make their transition quicker.Wait, I don't have a 3 yo anymore. They grow so fast.
They would be foster to adopt.Mrs. CE may be able to work from home for a while after we adopt, but we can't afford to be without her income, especially if we add four kids to the mix.
Does PA have a stipend system for adoption? FL does. While I am not sure I agree with it politically, if it is there, I would suggest using it. A friend who adopted here in FL gets $300 per kid, more for the severely special needs one, til they turn 18. Then they get full college tuition paid.
Yeah, there is a certain amount that they get, but I can't recall the specifics. It helps, but it's not a huge amount, and it only lasts until they are officially adopted. And yes, PA does have other perks like healthcare until they are 18 and there are colleges that have money set aside specifically for kids who come out of the foster system, but I don't think it's fully covered like in FL.
Just a correction. The stipend for Beaver County, PA (where the children are located) is $12-$14/day plus a monthly clothing allowance (every county is different). Once they are adopted the stipend is reduced but does continue until they are 18. Not sure of the exact amount. But the medical coverage does last until they are 18.We also found out that even though the state covers all adoption costs, we are still able to claim a tax credit of $11,000 per child once we adopt them.Makes the financial burden of taking on 4 children at one a little more easy to consider. That's not the most important thing, but it is part of the equation.
 
Just a little tip that I've gleaned from watching my friends (and talking with them too of course). This is especially true with kids that are a little older (3 years+). Even though it's going to be extremely tempting to just smother them in love and give them everything that they want, you need to be a parent first and foremost. And it needs to start from the beginning. Much like teachers need to be somewhat strict and consistent from the very beginning so that the students don't walk all over them, you're going to need to be like that as well. If a kid is in a situation where he/she was taken from their parents and put up for adoption, then obviously a little extra love is warranted, but they're also used to a bad living situation and NEED the structure of real parenting. If you start out letting them walk all over you, it will take you MUCH longer to earn their respect and to create a more normal parent/child relationship.

It's kind of funny because there is a LOT of training for adoption, especially if you are going through the welfare system, and yet simple stuff like that sometimes gets ignored. My friends had 40 hours of training and that concept never came up once. They had to learn the hard way. With all that those kids have gone through, your instinct is just to heap love, toys and attention on them and let them do whatever they want. Definitely one time when "instinct" is absolutely wrong.

 
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Just a little tip that I've gleaned from watching my friends (and talking with them too of course). This is especially true with kids that are a little older (3 years+). Even though it's going to be extremely tempting to just smother them in love and give them everything that they want, you need to be a parent first and foremost. And it needs to start from the beginning. Much like teachers need to be somewhat strict and consistent from the very beginning so that the students don't walk all over them, you're going to need to be like that as well. If a kid is in a situation where he/she was taken from their parents and put up for adoption, then obviously a little extra love is warranted, but they're also used to a bad living situation and NEED the structure of real parenting. If you start out letting them walk all over you, it will take you MUCH longer to earn their respect and to create a more normal parent/child relationship.It's kind of funny because there is a LOT of training for adoption, especially if you are going through the welfare system, and yet simple stuff like that sometimes gets ignored. My friends had 40 hours of training and that concept never came up once. They had to learn the hard way. With all that those kids have gone through, your instinct is just to heap love, toys and attention on them and let them do whatever they want. Definitely one time when "instinct" is absolutely wrong.
Good advice. Thanks for sharing.
 
Looks like we are going to pursue the four siblings that are available. Mrs. CE spoke with her boss and she was told that they would take her off of the road for as long as it took for us to make the transition. Just one of the benefits of working for a small, family oriented company. They have treated her wonderfully in the past and have gone beyond what I would have expected in this situation. She was even told that they would juggle things around with their consultants to cover travel she already has scheduled if that is needed.

So it's on to the next step. I'll update as things move along.

 
Looks like we are going to pursue the four siblings that are available. Mrs. CE spoke with her boss and she was told that they would take her off of the road for as long as it took for us to make the transition. Just one of the benefits of working for a small, family oriented company. They have treated her wonderfully in the past and have gone beyond what I would have expected in this situation. She was even told that they would juggle things around with their consultants to cover travel she already has scheduled if that is needed.

So it's on to the next step. I'll update as things move along.
Sounds like things are falling into place just as they should be :goodposting: Looking foward to the updates! Your wife might want to read the Jon & Kate book Multiple Blessings they wrote about praying for children, struggling with infertility and getting way more than they ever expected and how it is changed their lives. I haven't read it but I saw it at the Christian bookstore the other day.

 
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Looks like we are going to pursue the four siblings that are available. Mrs. CE spoke with her boss and she was told that they would take her off of the road for as long as it took for us to make the transition. Just one of the benefits of working for a small, family oriented company. They have treated her wonderfully in the past and have gone beyond what I would have expected in this situation. She was even told that they would juggle things around with their consultants to cover travel she already has scheduled if that is needed.So it's on to the next step. I'll update as things move along.
Well, all I can say is "wow". You are in effect getting quadruplets, and not only that but you're getting them old enough to have baggage given their life experience to date. I would stronly recommend reading up on having multiple kids because going from zero to four all at once is going to be a huge culture shock. One thing I'd recommend is perhaps asking the kids themselves whether they'd like to share the same room to begin with. Their comfort zone at this point has to be with each other, and that might be a way to help transition them before they start wanting their own rooms. Anyway, I respect what you're doing and I don't think I could do it myself. That's an awesome responsibility you're taking on yourselves. Good luck and Godspeed to you and your family.
 
Looks like we are going to pursue the four siblings that are available. Mrs. CE spoke with her boss and she was told that they would take her off of the road for as long as it took for us to make the transition. Just one of the benefits of working for a small, family oriented company. They have treated her wonderfully in the past and have gone beyond what I would have expected in this situation. She was even told that they would juggle things around with their consultants to cover travel she already has scheduled if that is needed.

So it's on to the next step. I'll update as things move along.
Well, all I can say is "wow". You are in effect getting quadruplets, and not only that but you're getting them old enough to have baggage given their life experience to date. I would stronly recommend reading up on having multiple kids because going from zero to four all at once is going to be a huge culture shock. One thing I'd recommend is perhaps asking the kids themselves whether they'd like to share the same room to begin with. Their comfort zone at this point has to be with each other, and that might be a way to help transition them before they start wanting their own rooms.

Anyway, I respect what you're doing and I don't think I could do it myself. That's an awesome responsibility you're taking on yourselves. Good luck and Godspeed to you and your family.
Couple of things regarding the bolded part. They are currently in 3 different foster homes. The 2 girls are together. And we only have 4 bedrooms, so they don't even have the option of having separate rooms. The girls would be in one room and the boys would be in another.As for multiple kids, we have a number of resources at our church, including one family that has 8 children (3 that are adopted).

 
As for multiple kids, we have a number of resources at our church, including one family that has 8 children (3 that are adopted).
I'm pretty sure all the great advice you need can be found right here in the FFA. Best of luck with everything CrossEyed.
Thanks. :hophead: It will definitely be a challenge if it works out, but I know we have lots of people who will help us out when we need it.
 
Wow CE, even with years of experience to guide me, going from 3 to 5 was really hard. It's still hard and I have a part time babysitter coming in regularly. 4 little children means 4 car seats and holding 4 little hands constantly. Getting out of the house with all of them is tricky. Right now when I go out with my 6 and 3 yr old boys and the 9yr and 7mos girls I never try to take them all somewhere myself without help and thats with 2 kids older than you're talking about.

Will the state provide any initial in home help until you adjust? I don't want you guys to get overwhelmed and not be able to keep up. I know the feeling like you just can't keep up, drowning. Laundry is damn near impossible to keep up on. I'm still working on minimalizing everything just so I can come up for air.

And I second the thought that you need discipline and structure. You're starting in the middle here. It's not like raising your own kids from birth. These kids are use to things being one way and now they may be completely opposite. For our 9 yr old the change was very hard. It's a year later and we're still dealing with temper tantrums, extreme emotional outbursts, screaming if you even touch her when she's upset. You don't know what they've been through or how they'll react to you...or even to each other after being apart. The 7 month old's transition was much easier given she was only 3 weeks old.

Thoughts and prayers. Keep us updated.

 

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