****Official**** depression thread (2 Viewers)

[Henry Ford]

Sister just went to Ann Arbor for cancer treatments.

Mom has 5 lesions on her brain that might be cancer....waiting for some answers.

Or mom might have other cancers that caused and infection in her brain. Not clear yet.

Wow. Sorry to hear that, man. I hope the answers bring with them some comfort and good news.

 

[AAABatteries]

What do you guys do when you are not feeling anything or not excited about anything?

Just feeling totally blah and nothing is exciting me. FF is struggle to draft right now, used to love playing Strat but that is a drag right now and my big thing this year, Going to a movie once a week with my daughter is seeming a chore. Actually the thing that I like doing these days is eating which is driving up my weight and screwing up my Blood Sugar (I am a diabetic).

I am going to call my counselor and set up an appointment and am going to hang with a friend tonight.

Currently on Lithium which doesn't seem to be doing the job it was 2-3 months ago

I always recommend exercise if you are able. It can definitely help your mood and help keep weight in check.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

What do you guys do when you are not feeling anything or not excited about anything?

Just feeling totally blah and nothing is exciting me. FF is struggle to draft right now, used to love playing Strat but that is a drag right now and my big thing this year, Going to a movie once a week with my daughter is seeming a chore. Actually the thing that I like doing these days is eating which is driving up my weight and screwing up my Blood Sugar (I am a diabetic).

I am going to call my counselor and set up an appointment and am going to hang with a friend tonight.

Currently on Lithium which doesn't seem to be doing the job it was 2-3 months ago

I always recommend exercise if you are able. It can definitely help your mood and help keep weight in check.

I agree with this. It helps me a lot. Good luck.

So sorry to hear Saber. Hang in there man. :(

 

[Jayrod]

What do you guys do when you are not feeling anything or not excited about anything?

Just feeling totally blah and nothing is exciting me. FF is struggle to draft right now, used to love playing Strat but that is a drag right now and my big thing this year, Going to a movie once a week with my daughter is seeming a chore. Actually the thing that I like doing these days is eating which is driving up my weight and screwing up my Blood Sugar (I am a diabetic).

I am going to call my counselor and set up an appointment and am going to hang with a friend tonight.

Currently on Lithium which doesn't seem to be doing the job it was 2-3 months ago

I always recommend exercise if you are able. It can definitely help your mood and help keep weight in check.

I agree with this. It helps me a lot. Good luck.

So sorry to hear Saber. Hang in there man. :(

You could get a dog and let it come inside from time to time.

In all seriousness, exercise helps a lot and so can relationships. Dogs are good for both.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Another cousin was found dead yesterday morning, the brother of the my cousin with Down's that died last week. Terribly sad but expected. He went was ousted as a labor boss because he got busted doing some questionable things. So he turned to heroin, alcohol and anything else he could get his hands on to escape. They found him naked laying on his couch surrounded by trash. Back to the funeral home I go....

 

[AAABatteries]

:(

 

[El Floppo]

JFC Bob.

:(

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Yeah, ####### crazy. Hopefully that "things happen in 3's" coincidence doesn't come into play here.

 

[El Floppo]

Yeah, ####### crazy. Hopefully that "things happen in 3's" coincidence doesn't come into play here.

or in your case, multiples of 3s

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Yeah, ####### crazy. Hopefully that "things happen in 3's" coincidence doesn't come into play here.

or in your case, multiples of 3s

Found out my other cousin didn't commit suicide by overindulging. He actually blew his head off. Makes it so much worse for some reason.

 

[-fish-]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

 

[badmojo1006]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

Well -fish-, you got us lovable losers You are not alone

Is there a support group near you? I have been in my local group since the beginning of the year and it has been helpful. See if there is something near you

GL

 

[Jayrod]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

 

[-fish-]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

 

[Jayrod]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

I forgot to mention drugs. Sounds like you could use some medication as well. I did.

 

[eoMMan]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

Can you have her in your life simply as a friend? Does she necessarily have to be the one?

 

[El Floppo]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

that dread/anticipation of loss... ugh... that's the part that gets me and sinks me deep.

but it's always when I'm moving forward- even if it's moving forward through and past the anticipation- that things get better for me. Steps forward, however small.

good luck fish- another thing to consider... great kid, and women interested- even if not the right one right now. I know it's hard to focus on the positives when things are down- but they're there.

plus amazon banked for future need.

 

[El Floppo]

and I was just thinking about this thread... it's been a week at least since a SLB update o' gloom.

 

[-fish-]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

that dread/anticipation of loss... ugh... that's the part that gets me and sinks me deep.

but it's always when I'm moving forward- even if it's moving forward through and past the anticipation- that things get better for me. Steps forward, however small.

good luck fish- another thing to consider... great kid, and women interested- even if not the right one right now. I know it's hard to focus on the positives when things are down- but they're there.

plus amazon banked for future need.

she's gone. she's the catalyst for this downward spiral.

 

[-fish-]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

Can you have her in your life simply as a friend? Does she necessarily have to be the one?

I don't think so. She doesn't have the time for more than one significant person in her life.

 

[El Floppo]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

that dread/anticipation of loss... ugh... that's the part that gets me and sinks me deep.

but it's always when I'm moving forward- even if it's moving forward through and past the anticipation- that things get better for me. Steps forward, however small.

good luck fish- another thing to consider... great kid, and women interested- even if not the right one right now. I know it's hard to focus on the positives when things are down- but they're there.

plus amazon banked for future need.

she's gone. she's the catalyst for this downward spiral.

ah- sorry man... I was thinking- oh #### it... I wasn't thinking.

 

[-fish-]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

that dread/anticipation of loss... ugh... that's the part that gets me and sinks me deep.

but it's always when I'm moving forward- even if it's moving forward through and past the anticipation- that things get better for me. Steps forward, however small.

good luck fish- another thing to consider... great kid, and women interested- even if not the right one right now. I know it's hard to focus on the positives when things are down- but they're there.

plus amazon banked for future need.

she's gone. she's the catalyst for this downward spiral.

ah- sorry man... I was thinking- oh #### it... I wasn't thinking.

don't sweat it.

her being gone is ok, just not right now. she turned out to be entirely self-centered, so it's good that it didn't really take off anyway. she got me through a bad spot and out of a bad relationship, so she was good for me in that way. it needed to happen. but now they're both gone and I'm with someone that cares a lot more about me than I do about her, and I'm probably going to end that too.

just really not looking forward to how alone I'm going to feel.

I made it almost two months from breaking up with the ex with no contact. she started texting me this week...kind of a closure thing, I guess...I told her I'm not ready to have any contact with her...but it made me nostalgic and on top of amazon suddenly disappearing it devastated me.

 

[-fish-]

Then at Thanksgiving I met the 22 YO and we started a "relationship" that required complete secrecy for many reasons I won't get into (one big one was her out of state boyfriend) I though it wouldn't last long because she could have whoever she wanted and one day she'd wake up and wonder what she was doing with this 36 YO guy with little to offer. It was great, and as long as I didn't fall for her and realized this was just short term it would be fine. The reason I wouldn't fall for her was because I never thought she would fully fall for me. But then she started to fall and talked about how strongly she felt about me even though she knew we couldn't never be more than what we were. The fact that she started falling for me made me fall for her. I honestly think that if she didn't get stronger feelings for me I would've been fine with our "friends with benefits" type relationship. For about 5 months or so, I had never been happier. It was perfect. But then I think I started wanting more and trying to see if there was any chance that there could be more in the future and that pushed her away. She became distant and finally told me that she felt bad that I wanted more and she knew that couldn't happen and she didn't want me to get hurt, so she was backing off. Once we got thru that, we really had a great friendship for a few weeks, we hardly ever actually saw each other, but talked and texted every day openly discussing possible girls that I could go out and the pros and cons of each ones. She and her boyfriend were on the verge of breaking up and out of blue an old boyfriend starting reach out to her and she wasn't sure what she should do and I talked with her for hours about both situations. In the last week or so, she was getting very distant. We got in a couple arguements and it really seems like our great friendship is ending now as well. I can't stop thinking about her and I feel like a jackass for staring at my phone all day waiting for her to text me. I guess ultimately, everything with her is like the icing on the cake. It makes me look back at everything else and seems like everything has been one failure after another. College = fail. Marriage = fail. Having to go to my parents for financial help = fail. Work has been ok I guess, but I know I could've done better and had a better job if I finished school. Relationship with 22 YO = fail. I like to think I do a good job as a Dad, but who knows, maybe I'm just fooling myself into believing that too. I dont' know why I typed all of that. I guess I usually deal with crap by making fun of it or laughing at it, I've never taken a serious approach to it (or anything else for that matter) I guess it feels good to get that all out though. Blah blah blah blah

except for me being 10 years older and the girl being 24, this is eerily similar to what happened to me.

 

[Jayrod]

Life can really suck. I'll take a hug......

What's the haps, GB? :(

Combination of a lot of things. Dealing with a ridiculous amount of stress at work, really stressing about the fact that in September Little 'Zooks will be going to school all day in another town which means the time I spend with him is going to decrease a lot, also have some financial issues (who doesn't) and all I'm also realizing that I'm not dealing well with the weird "friends with benefits" relationship I had with the 22 YO. Everything with her fizzled out over a month ago but we managed to maintain our friendship, to the point of really being each other's best friend and talking about everything little that was happening in our lives. Now that friendship is starting fade. I haven't slept in a few days and it's making me evaluate everything in my life and it makes me realize I have a very "unaccomplished" life. It's weird, I keep getting this weird feeling of emptiness. I think my general happy-go-lucky attitude fools people into thinking that everything is great with me, and I think I realize that I've been fooling myself this whole time too. A lot of people have always told me that they've never met anyone who smiles and laughs as much as I do and how I always have a funny joke or remark for any situation. But looking back, I don't really see anything that I was successful at or reasons to be happy about. I did lousy in College and after being on academic probabtion my first 2 years, I didn't go back and then always figured I would finish and get my degree "later" but that has never happened (luckily, I fell into a good job and moved my way up through hard work and have a job that would usually require a Degree). All growing up I always wanted to be married and have a somewhat big family (3 kids, the dog, typical American Dream) but after getting married we went through 3 miscarriages before having our son and then another miscarriage after him which left my ex-wife unable to have anymore children. Then one day I woke up to find out she was having an affair and SHE wanted a divorce. Despite her having the affair, I still tried to make it work, but she didn't want to. That was a dark time that took a while to get out of. My only focus during that time was my son and that probably helped me not focus on what my ex wife did. The divorce also caused some financial issues, but overall I made out ok with everything (I kept the house and all of my retirement, no alimony and I just pay a minor amount of child support since we split custody) the problem is going from a 2 person income to a 1 person income and keeping the house and I took all of our debt. Once I got out of the divorce cloud, things got a little better (thank you alcohol) I figured out how to balance my time as a Dad and single guy who had every other weekend to go out and have fun. But something still felt like it was missing, I'm guessing it was not being in a relationship. Random hook ups are great and everything, but whenever something "good" would happen in life I would catch myself wanting to share it with someone like I used to with my ex. And also realizing that I was getting any younger, so any chance of meeting someone and having more kids was becoming less likely. Finally last Fall, I came to grips that this would be my life. The single Dad that Little Zooks would come visit with his family at the holidays for a few hours and not the big family lifestyle I had imagined or hoped for. I figured I would just spend my time being a Dad and when I didn't have him, I'd go out and party and satisfy any physical need I had with a one-stand when needed. It was a sucky outlook but it was what it was and I accepted it. Then at Thanksgiving I met the 22 YO and we started a "relationship" that required complete secrecy for many reasons I won't get into (one big one was her out of state boyfriend) I though it wouldn't last long because she could have whoever she wanted and one day she'd wake up and wonder what she was doing with this 36 YO guy with little to offer. It was great, and as long as I didn't fall for her and realized this was just short term it would be fine. The reason I wouldn't fall for her was because I never thought she would fully fall for me. But then she started to fall and talked about how strongly she felt about me even though she knew we couldn't never be more than what we were. The fact that she started falling for me made me fall for her. I honestly think that if she didn't get stronger feelings for me I would've been fine with our "friends with benefits" type relationship. For about 5 months or so, I had never been happier. It was perfect. But then I think I started wanting more and trying to see if there was any chance that there could be more in the future and that pushed her away. She became distant and finally told me that she felt bad that I wanted more and she knew that couldn't happen and she didn't want me to get hurt, so she was backing off. Once we got thru that, we really had a great friendship for a few weeks, we hardly ever actually saw each other, but talked and texted every day openly discussing possible girls that I could go out and the pros and cons of each ones. She and her boyfriend were on the verge of breaking up and out of blue an old boyfriend starting reach out to her and she wasn't sure what she should do and I talked with her for hours about both situations. In the last week or so, she was getting very distant. We got in a couple arguements and it really seems like our great friendship is ending now as well. I can't stop thinking about her and I feel like a jackass for staring at my phone all day waiting for her to text me. I guess ultimately, everything with her is like the icing on the cake. It makes me look back at everything else and seems like everything has been one failure after another. College = fail. Marriage = fail. Having to go to my parents for financial help = fail. Work has been ok I guess, but I know I could've done better and had a better job if I finished school. Relationship with 22 YO = fail. I like to think I do a good job as a Dad, but who knows, maybe I'm just fooling myself into believing that too. I dont' know why I typed all of that. I guess I usually deal with crap by making fun of it or laughing at it, I've never taken a serious approach to it (or anything else for that matter) I guess it feels good to get that all out though. Blah blah blah blah

except for me being 10 years older and the girl being 24, this is pretty much exactly where I'm at.

Your "ENTER" button is broken, too? Small world.

 

[Henry Ford]

never posted in here before.

I'm a train wreck right now. I had a bad, but long-term relationship. There were a lot of crazy things about it, but she was always supportive of me and we talked about everything. As it was ending, I stumbled across someone that helped me through it and made me feel good about ending it. She made me hope. Then she suddenly and intentionally disappeared from my life, and she isn't coming back. Now that she's gone, the hole that was left from my ex is more apparent. There is no possibility of going back, and neither one of us would even consider it.

I'm looking at losing my job in a couple months. I'm spending time with a woman I know isn't right for me, just because I don't want to be alone. I need to end that, too, because she is a really kind person and I shouldn't be wasting her time.

My best friend is in a custody battle with his ex that isn't going well, and I can't turn to him because my issues are trivial compared to his. Another friend is trying to save his marriage, so he's basically gone off the grid. I've never felt so alone.

One thing I've found through my journey with depression is that we are never truly as alone as we think we are. There are probably a lot of people in your life you could at least share bits and pieces with to help lighten your burdens. If that really isn't possible, support groups are everywhere. Not sure on your financial situation, but a therapist can really help you work through some of these things as well. Churches are really great resources for these things, usually.

In my experience, just gritting your teeth and being tough or just trying to get a handle on it by yourself will only make it worse. You need dialogue and you have to be the one to initiate it.

Good luck.

I've been in therapy for a while. It hasn't helped.

Last night I was so obviously sad that my daughter asked if I wanted her to come sit with me for a while. It was a great feeling, but made me think I was a terrible father for leaning on her.

I'm dreading ending things with the woman I'm seeing. She has tried to connect with me, and is generous, caring and supportive. She's just not the right woman for me and it isn't fair to her to string her along. Although it isn't really true, I feel like once she's gone, I really won't have anyone left.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and it seems like you're really down right now.

If I can offer some encouragement that sounds like advice (hopefully without you thinking I'm trying to tell you what to do) I think it's reasonable for you to discuss how you're feeling with her without just straight-up ending it. You seem to really like and care about her, she seems to really like and care about you. She's an adult. If you have a frank discussion about your feelings, there's no guarantee you two can't continue on for a bit, and who knows? If you can pull through the other side of the difficulty you're having right now, you may find that your feelings for her have room to grow when you're not mired in your current state.

I'm no Sigmund Freud, but I do think that when the prospect of cutting someone out of your life depresses you, it's worth keeping her in your life if you can. Either way, good luck and I hope things turn around for you emotionally.

 

[Henry Ford]

Also, -fish-, you seem like a good guy. My father always told me - and he was right - no matter how good things are, or how bad things are, if you wait long enough it'll turn around.

If there's anything I can do to help you through until it turns around, I'm happy to.

 

[AAABatteries]

GL fish.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Hang in there GBRoverfish. Feeling alone is the worst feeling in the world for me too so I sympathize with your situation. Love you man.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

and I was just thinking about this thread... it's been a week at least since a SLB update o' gloom.

There is a lot of stuff that hasn't been broad casted here. This is just the stuff I feel like I can get off my chest in a public forum.

 

[-fish-]

Thanks to all. I just needed to vent, and remembered this thread. I don't think I've even opened it before.

 

[El Floppo]

and I was just thinking about this thread... it's been a week at least since a SLB update o' gloom.

There is a lot of stuff that hasn't been broad casted here. This is just the stuff I feel like I can get off my chest in a public forum.

holy smokes bob.

you seem like far, far too good of a soul to not have the healthy, happy outcomes far outweigh all of the crap that's been heading your way lately.

eta: that is to say- you deserve a long stretch of happiness and health for you and yours.

 

[krista4]

Also, -fish-, you seem like a good guy. My father always told me - and he was right - no matter how good things are, or how bad things are, if you wait long enough it'll turn around.

If there's anything I can do to help you through until it turns around, I'm happy to.

Having met fish, he's an even better guy than I'd imagined. Wait, did that come out wrong? Anyway, you're a good and decent human, GB, and if you want to hang out with boring people who bake cookies and pet stray cats, Mr. krista and I are always up for it.

 

[-fish-]

Also, -fish-, you seem like a good guy. My father always told me - and he was right - no matter how good things are, or how bad things are, if you wait long enough it'll turn around.

If there's anything I can do to help you through until it turns around, I'm happy to.

Having met fish, he's an even better guy than I'd imagined. Wait, did that come out wrong? Anyway, you're a good and decent human, GB, and if you want to hang out with boring people who bake cookies and pet stray cats, Mr. krista and I are always up for it.

I'm on a diet and don't really like cats, but if you'll join me in drinking some wine, I'm in.

 

[krista4]

Also, -fish-, you seem like a good guy. My father always told me - and he was right - no matter how good things are, or how bad things are, if you wait long enough it'll turn around.

If there's anything I can do to help you through until it turns around, I'm happy to.

Having met fish, he's an even better guy than I'd imagined. Wait, did that come out wrong? Anyway, you're a good and decent human, GB, and if you want to hang out with boring people who bake cookies and pet stray cats, Mr. krista and I are always up for it.

I'm on a diet and don't really like cats, but if you'll join me in drinking some wine, I'm in.

You know the magic words! Text me, and let's make a plan soon.

 

[Judge Smails]

I sincerely hope cloudy skies turn to sunshine for all going through tough times..

 

[Fennis]

Also, -fish-, you seem like a good guy. My father always told me - and he was right - no matter how good things are, or how bad things are, if you wait long enough it'll turn around.

If there's anything I can do to help you through until it turns around, I'm happy to.

Having met fish, he's an even better guy than I'd imagined. Wait, did that come out wrong? Anyway, you're a good and decent human, GB, and if you want to hang out with boring people who bake cookies and pet stray cats, Mr. krista and I are always up for it.

I'm on a diet and don't really like cats, but if you'll join me in drinking some wine, I'm in.

nothing like getting drunk to help with girl problems. Have a phone nearby for even more fun. What could go wrong?

 

[Thorn]

Just got a text from a friend regarding my GB who has apparently started trying to drink himself to death. He got put on leave from his job and now isn't returning anyone's calls. He does have a live in gf so at least he's not completely alone, but I am stuck as to how to reach out in a successful way.

:(

 

[cphk96]

Just got a text from a friend regarding my GB who has apparently started trying to drink himself to death. He got put on leave from his job and now isn't returning anyone's calls. He does have a live in gf so at least he's not completely alone, but I am stuck as to how to reach out in a successful way.

:(

Hello Thorn

What do you mean by that last sentence?

Will the live-in gf not allow him to talk to you?

Are you trying to figure out a way to talk to him?

Maybe an impromptu visit to his house should be in order, with said friend who texted you

about the GB who is slowly killing himself.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I just realized that in about 10 minutes my almost 13.5 years as a business owner will come to an end. We processed over 952,000 orders in that time.

To a new beginning. *sigh*

 

[El Floppo]

I just realized that in about 10 minutes my almost 13.5 years as a business owner will come to an end. We processed over 952,000 orders in that time.

To a new beginning. *sigh*

congrats, bob- sounds like it's for the best.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I just realized that in about 10 minutes my almost 13.5 years as a business owner will come to an end. We processed over 952,000 orders in that time.

To a new beginning. *sigh*

congrats, bob- sounds like it's for the best.

Thanks GB

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I just found out my friend and coworker has cancer. I've finally stopped crying long enough to post this. She is in the upper 1% of the greatest people in the world to me. I've known her for 20 years I guess and have NEVER seen her anything but sweet and positive. Ever. She NEVER has a down day. #### she knew yesterday and I was running shtick on her and we were laughing together. And she knew she had cancer. She wasn't going to bring me down. No, that isn't how she operates. I'm dying over here.

 

[GroveDiesel]

I just found out my friend and coworker has cancer. I've finally stopped crying long enough to post this. She is in the upper 1% of the greatest people in the world to me. I've known her for 20 years I guess and have NEVER seen her anything but sweet and positive. Ever. She NEVER has a down day. #### she knew yesterday and I was running shtick on her and we were laughing together. And she knew she had cancer. She wasn't going to bring me down. No, that isn't how she operates. I'm dying over here.

So sorry man.

I know we joke a lot about how everyone you know keeps dying, but I think the reality is that we're all in that age range where people start having health issues. For a lot of us, that means a person here and there. But you seem like you are a great guy who knows a lot of people and has a lot of people that you care about and who care about you. Which means there's just more of a chance that you'll know someone with a major health issue than some of us who have a very small circle of friends.

Seems like a lot of people are blessed to have you as their friend.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Things in my house suck right now. My wife is dealing with a crippling level of depression. I didn't realize how bad things were until it had spiraled out of control. We're 2 weeks into a change of medication and 2 weeks into therapy. But no positive changes yet.

It's just been an ugly ugly year and it's destroyed her confidence and made her a shell of the person I know. It's been caused by, and affecting, just about every area of her life. To the point she may be walking away from some of her true passions for the rest of her life because she feels like she's incapable of doing them.

The problem is that things are so bad that I'm not sure the pressure can be lifted enough for her to get better without walking away. The therapist seems to even agree. Sucks when both options right now are pretty terrible.

 

[Jayrod]

I'm a mess right now. Got off my medication because I thought things were better, but a lot of stress at work and some stress at home has sent me spiraling down again. Suicidal thoughts creep in and I've flown off the handle over little things more than a few times now. Work is starting to become too much for me and logically it really shouldn't be, but I just get locked up and can't make myself do anything.

I'm so sick of this. My worst fear is that I'm going to not be able to do my job again. I can't go through that again. This job is too great of an opportunity. Best job I've ever had and it landed in my lap.

I have an appointment with a doctor and need to get back on something soon.

Basically, today has been rough due to a fight with the wife and I just needed to vent for a second. Feeling things heading in the wrong direction and I can't let that happen.

gl, peas.

 

[El Floppo]

I'm a mess right now. Got off my medication because I thought things were better, but a lot of stress at work and some stress at home has sent me spiraling down again. Suicidal thoughts creep in and I've flown off the handle over little things more than a few times now. Work is starting to become too much for me and logically it really shouldn't be, but I just get locked up and can't make myself do anything.

I'm so sick of this. My worst fear is that I'm going to not be able to do my job again. I can't go through that again. This job is too great of an opportunity. Best job I've ever had and it landed in my lap.

I have an appointment with a doctor and need to get back on something soon.

Basically, today has been rough due to a fight with the wife and I just needed to vent for a second. Feeling things heading in the wrong direction and I can't let that happen.

gl, peas.

gl, jay. damn- I can empathize on ALL fronts. been a rough couple of weeks for me too.

with your work- is there any small, however stupid thing you can power through to unlock yourself? and then keep finding those things to build momentum? ideally, micro items that can lead you to a macro goal?

I've got a project I thought I had set myself up in good shape with as I was developing it... but now that it has to go out, I'm realizing I'm behind and starting to feel overwhelmed. I start pushing through one thing, but it makes me think about 30 other things that it either affects or that just need further development too.... and then no matter how fast I'm paddling, it feels like I'm getting nowhere. Or I'm just doing what I usually do- which is stress out when the project needs to leave my hands and is taken over by the contractor. either way, I've run out of time and the #### has to go out... but the stress level is through the roof for me- barely seen my kids and what little I see of the wife is cliched nagging/negativity instead of support. I'm sure she feels the same way. ugh.

sorry to bogart your post, jay- just venting too... and procrastinating on a Sunday when I need to be working.

gl.

 

[El Floppo]

and like with K4s birthday, I'm going to say gl to gb SLB too.

 

[wikkidpissah]

I'm a mess right now. Got off my medication because I thought things were better, but a lot of stress at work and some stress at home has sent me spiraling down again. Suicidal thoughts creep in and I've flown off the handle over little things more than a few times now. Work is starting to become too much for me and logically it really shouldn't be, but I just get locked up and can't make myself do anything.

I'm so sick of this. My worst fear is that I'm going to not be able to do my job again. I can't go through that again. This job is too great of an opportunity. Best job I've ever had and it landed in my lap.

I have an appointment with a doctor and need to get back on something soon.

Basically, today has been rough due to a fight with the wife and I just needed to vent for a second. Feeling things heading in the wrong direction and I can't let that happen.

gl, peas.

I got an unlocker, if you want to try something a little different. Know - or remember - very little about you, so i'd have to ask you a coupla questions 1st. Can do it PM or here or not at all. GL, either way.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Thanks GD, Floppo.

Sincerely hope things get better for you both GD and Jayrod. :(

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Posted this in GMTAN and probably elsewhere. Its helped me somewhat. Maybe it can help someone else or a family member or friend you know. Still pretty down, but I'm trying.

I have battled depression on and off over the years to the point where these past few months have been the darkest I can remember. I started reading The Depression Cure. I am not all the way through it yet but it is a great read. I am on and will continue to be on Effexor (Venlafaxine) for OCD symptoms and depression, but this book is giving me some other ideas/anchors.

Talks about 6 steps of Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes (TLC)

1. Omega-3 fish oil. Pretty much everyone needs to take these and it just so happens to help greatly with depression for many people.

2. Recognizing and reversing rumination. Essentially cognitive therapy..recognizing when your mind leads you to downward spiral and reversing the pattern.

3. Exercise! Finally got my fat bbq ### in the company gym few times over the last week or so.

4. Light therapy - we need sunlight. My depression worsens in Jan/Feb..work from 7:30-5:30 and have lunch at your desk..you won't see the sun for a while. That's not good. There are also seasonal mood type of lights now available that can replicate what the sun offers.

5. Social interaction - Haven't read this chapter yet but I am assuming to means talking to real people too and not just you idorks.

6. Healthy sleep - I got my CPAP pressure adjusted and have slept better recently. Losing 20 pounds would be awesome as well if I can do it.

Lot of common sense stuff but I didn't know the omega 3 data and overall I like the book's approach. Everyone knows someone or experiences depression points somewhere in their life. Good luck to you GD and Jayrod. Love you all.