Here's a cautionary tale. When I started with the Yahoo chat, safe to say I was a bit naive. I met a girl who lived 3 hours away and we began chatting on a daily basis. It evolved into a phone relationship too, and before long I wanted to meet her in person. She had sent me some pics and was very attractive, and she had the sexiest southern accent. We had a lot of odd coincidences too, for example our birthdays were 3 days apart and our parents' anniversaries were the same date. I would call her and talk for hours, and this was before unlimited long distance plans. I racked up hundreds in LD charges.
She was a master of phone seduction (though I was an easy mark). She had a great sense of humor, and was open about her desire for a boyfriend and to settle down someday. She had created an image of someone I could easily see doing that with. After a while, our conversations would end every night with dirty talk and us taking care of ourselves before saying goodnight. It became like an actual relationship without physical contact, as absurd as that seems. I look back and still can't fathom how I could develop such a deep connection to someone I had never met in person.
I finally convinced her to come visit, but it took months. She had lame excuses like being afraid that it won't be as amazing in person or some such crap, but I wouldn't leave it alone. Anyway, she appears on my doorstep and she's a beast. Easily 200 pounds, pig face, hair like a corn broom. Difficult to look at. I didn't want to let her in but she looked really sad and remorseful, like she was bracing herself for my reaction. I recall asking her how she could deceive me for so long, while she sat on the couch and I was on the recliner with my eyes fixed on the TV, rarely looking directly at her. I distinctly remember feeling like I was going to vomit. She was very apologetic. She actually took $300 cash out of her purse and threw it on the table to reimburse me for the phone bills. I was clueless at the time, but this was some master manipulation she was working on me, because I started to feel bad for her. She proceeds to tell me she's the same person I felt so connected to online and on the phone, and how could I be so superficial as to let her appearance get in the way of something potentially great. Pathetic of me, but at the time, it worked. I felt bad for judging her. Never mind the fact she frigging LIED for months by making me believe those pics were really her.
The visit ended the same way our phone calls did, with me on my back, eyes closed. She basically serviced me and left. She wanted to kiss me but I refused, and that really hurt her feelings I could tell. Her manipulation only went so far, despite her best efforts, so she did the sensible thing and got out of there. Despite the servicing and the $300, I still felt so monumentally stupid and taken advantage of that I didn't sleep that night. I laid there in the dark, feeling my face become flushed and hot with utter embarrassment.
Looking back on it, I started to beat myself up over all the signs I ignored. The most egregious one was when I checked the calendar of the year she said her parents got married. The date fell on a Wednesday. Who the #### gets married on a Wednesday? But for whatever reason, I let it go. I wanted her to be real. She had created all these fake things we had in common, said it must be a sign that we should be together, and I ate it up. Things like dates seemed small, but they added up. She got me good.
Oh, and yeah, she turned out to be certifiably insane, stalking me online until I blocked her, calling me until I changed my number, then pestering me from fake Yahoo accounts until I changed my ID. Then she still managed to find me and claimed her little brother died in an ATV accident and she just wanted someone to talk to. It was only then that I fully realized that probably 99% of the things she had told me were lies. Thank God she was 200+ miles away and never came to stalk me in person.
Now I can look back and admit I was naive and desperate, and recognize it as a good learning experience, which it really was. Once I got all the random hookups out of my system, I did end up having some quality relationships and now I'm married. But the above story made me cringe for many years and for whatever reason this is the first time I've ever shared it with anyone.