Major
Footballguy
I keep an extensive notebook. You also missed it here
https://forums.footballguys.com/forum/topic/474571-the-fbg-fashion-thread-style/?do=findComment&comment=19239784
I should prolly keep a notebook. 
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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Woz
- Start date
I should prolly keep a notebook. She told me she'd be up for coffee or lunch. I asked her if she was available that night. She said she was meeting some friends downtown to play some music (salsa) and invited me to stop by. I did, we talked a little, I asked her if she wanted a coffee or to take a walk.
offdee
Footballguy
This. If you wanna increase your chances of being just friends ask to meet for coffee or lunch.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
What? Best to give a choice. Just because you don't drink or want to be drinking on the first date doesn't make the person not one to pursue, unless that's all you want is fun..
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offdee
Footballguy
Sorry but no. Women want a guy who makes the date plans and is confident in that...never give a choice of options for her to choose. Just because you meet at night at a place that serves liquor, you're not forcing her to drink. They have other options if thats her thing. Its more about timing and atmosphere than it is about getting her all liquored up.
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CurlyNight
Footballguy
You do realise I am a woman, right? Most consider me rather attractive. We don't all fit into your line of thought. When you meet online, there are many good attractive women worthy of pursuit who would rather go for coffee or lunch on the first date to meet the dude and see how it goes irl before doing the nightly stuff. It's a safety thing for many and that's not a negative knock on the woman. Now if you've have had enough convo to find out what she is into, which is good to do before the first date, it's more impressive if you ask her to a place that closely fits what she likes. Don't just make the plan. I wouldn't think the guy is confident by saying this is what we are doing, well I guess the guy would think so. Don't assume activities to do with drinking is a home run for all women on the first date.
Have reservations a decent Thai place that at least serves beer and wine. Hoping to find a wine bar after and see where it goes. If I don't post by the AM, just wait longer.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Sure, if I was able.
Personally if I'm looking for long term, I'd prefer no alcohol on the first meet to gage the person sober. First impression and all. This will help both of us determine if this person is worth a second date. If I don't gel with the person completely sober then no point in pursuing---if I'm looking for long term/marriage. That's the key, imo.James Daulton
Footballguy
How can we be sure without pics? You're blowing up standard men dating theory so we're going to need some proof to go out on that limb with you.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Jeebus.
From a couple years ago, a work group pic. I'm second from the last bottom row.
http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/Artista928/media/Screenshot 320_zpse7xhlv1r.png.html?sort=3&o=13
There's another one in there somewhere from a bit further back.
wilked
Footballguy
Yes JD, all you will need is random photos of a woman to be sure
Here's some photos of me if interested
https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=random+woman&FORM=HDRSC2
Here's some photos of me if interested
https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=random+woman&FORM=HDRSC2
James Daulton
Footballguy
CurlyNight
Footballguy
James Daulton
Footballguy
Rirruto
Footballguy
What I've never gotten about coffee dates is when do you do them? People drink coffee at night? I'd like to have a different option besides drinks, especially when I'm trying to cut back on the boozing. Drinks just work perfectly for me. I'm just bumfuzzled by what other people do.
I'm not really even a hookup on the first date guy when I'm doing drinks on a first date. I like to keep a rotation of 2-4 and girls are way less likely to see you again if you see their ###### the first time you hang out in my experience.
I'm not really even a hookup on the first date guy when I'm doing drinks on a first date. I like to keep a rotation of 2-4 and girls are way less likely to see you again if you see their ###### the first time you hang out in my experience.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Late am let's say where if you are having a nice time, you can carry on chilling into the afternoon, esp this time of the year where the weather is nice out. That way if you don't like who you are with, you have something planned for the afternoon as an easy escape route. Evening and it's harder to escape with an excuse.
And if you feel weird about saying coffee, say Starbucks or Peets.
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Rirruto
Footballguy
CurlyNight
Footballguy
offdee
Footballguy
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CurlyNight
Footballguy
I'm sure. But there are many men who do not want this. They want long term/possibly marriage. That's what I'm talking about in my posts on first dates. Not saying that if you and/or the chic drink on the first date then that's it. I'm saying for me at least, if I'm looking for serious, I want to cut to the chase on the first date and see what the dude is like without alcohol. Now if I just want to have fun then who cares, right? With all the tech out these days to do with dating, most people I would imagine don't want to be wasting their time with someone past a first date when looking for serious if it's not there. Alcohol tends to make it more "there" than not, in my experience. Take away the alcohol and you'll see the real person.
Captain Cranks
Footballguy
Meh. Not me. I'll honestly be looking for my next wife. At 40 with a kid, I don't have the time or energy to be putzing around just looking for hook-ups.
The way some of you guys are describing these sites, I'm probably better off on something like eHarmony where there's more of a longer term relationship focus. Anyone have experience with them?
Joe T
Footballguy
I would start with Bumble. It is free and there is a lot of activity on there. Most (all?) of the girls I've met on there are looking long term. The last time I was on eHarmony it was dead. Just offering honest advice. I'm not sure why you would pay for something when there is a free option that is better. Either way good luck.
Or you could try both and report back to us on which one you have more success with. But I've tried both and will never go back to eHarmony. There is no reason to.
Joe T
Footballguy
On the lunch / brunch / coffee vs dinner or drinks after work, the difference is do you want to go to a job interview or do you want a relaxing meeting that is more laid back? Every lunch / brunch / coffee I've been on feels like a 30 to 45 minute job interview with very little laughing, fun, or affection. After work, people are more relaxed. You can laugh, joke, flirt, etc a lot more easily. It is such a huge difference it is a no-brainer to schedule something after work in the middle of the week.
Meeting for coffee is such a waste of my time. If a girl wants to meet for coffee, I will always respond that I either don't drink coffee or that I can't meet in the mornings. I'm into having a good time, not going on an interview type date.
Meeting for coffee is such a waste of my time. If a girl wants to meet for coffee, I will always respond that I either don't drink coffee or that I can't meet in the mornings. I'm into having a good time, not going on an interview type date.
James Daulton
Footballguy
Even if CurlyNight were a gal, you would not be getting a date with her. That's for sure.
wilked
Footballguy
Joe has it exactly right.
There is a lot more to meeting at a trendy bar/lounge than having a drink or two. Focusing on the alcohol portion is very short-sighted. At these places, lighting is different, ambience is different, clientele are different, people dress differently, etc etc. All of these items are geared toward romance, toward interactions.
Even people well suited for each other will have a tougher time connecting at a coffee shop for the very reason that it is not designed to enhance a connection. There is no reason to make it harder on yourself...
There is a lot more to meeting at a trendy bar/lounge than having a drink or two. Focusing on the alcohol portion is very short-sighted. At these places, lighting is different, ambience is different, clientele are different, people dress differently, etc etc. All of these items are geared toward romance, toward interactions.
Even people well suited for each other will have a tougher time connecting at a coffee shop for the very reason that it is not designed to enhance a connection. There is no reason to make it harder on yourself...
CurlyNight
Footballguy
No one will be getting a date with me while fighting breast cancer, that's for sure..
saintfool
Dead sexy
i don't think meeting for a drink after work (or whenever) has to be any more restrictive than coffee or lunch. "meeting for a drink" isn't code for getting hammered and a hook up necessarily but meeting for lunch or coffee definitely lowers those odds. a "date" is a date regardless of setting.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
And, if the woman happens to be one who has been stalked in the past (which many attractive ones have) and is looking for serious relationship only, then the coffee/lunch/afternoon activity route is the way to go. I'm talking 1st date here. Again, the key is finding out what she likes to do and pick something high up on her list for first date. If it's going to a bar type setting/dinner then go for it. At least get that out of the woman before setting a meet irl.
trogg78
Footballguy
God Speed, Curly Night. #### Cancer!No one will be getting a date with me while fighting breast cancer, that's for sure..
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
sooooo, whatcha doing after that?No one will be getting a date with me while fighting breast cancer, that's for sure..
sbonomo
Footballguy
Not to be offensive but this seems so prudish. What is wrong with having a glass of wine or a beer while you talk? If I took a girl out that she seemed put off that I had a drink and/or she did not have a drink I probably would not be all that inclined to go on a second date.Sure, if I was able.
Joe T
Footballguy
I have no issue with the girl having a drink or not having a drink. As long as it is in the evening it is fine. I've met with girls that just order tea or a sprite or whatever and have no issue with it. As long as it is in the evening, it will still be fun. Some people just don't drink.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
Nothing, if that's something she likes to do high up on her list. Impress her on the first date. I'd rather have the guy pick out something I happen to mention and not just the usual let's do dinner/drinks as is the usual line. There's nothing prudish about a first date not being in a place that involves alcohol. I'm giving another perspective. For safety sake of never having met the guy, I personally would rather meet for lunch where yes, you can have a beer/wine if you wish. After that if we like each other, let's continue together with the day. There is no one size fits all. I'm offering a different perspective in a thread where it seems I'm the only chic in here.
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sbonomo
Footballguy
Ya I guess it more of a social thing. I go to 2-3 wine inspired dinners per week. It would be strange for me to date someone that did not at least enjoy a glass of wine.I have no issue with the girl having a drink or not having a drink. As long as it is in the evening it is fine. I've met with girls that just order tea or a sprite or whatever and have no issue with it. As long as it is in the evening, it will still be fun. Some people just don't drink.
Joe T
Footballguy
While we are talking lunch and drinks and everything else, I'm reminded of another pet peeve of mine. I stopped at my new favorite bar on the way home from work last week for a beer. I sit down at the bar and look across at a girl that looks familiar. I see a dude walk in basically right after me and give her a hug like a first or second date. I realize I went out with her a few times about a year ago. After the third date, I never called or texted her again. Why? Because she never offered to pay anything. Never made a motion toward her purse. Always fully expected me to pay.
To be clear, I am fine paying every time (I'm a fbg). And I99% of the time, I pay. I just appreciate when a girl offers. It is the courteous thing to do. If a girl doesn't offer to pay or split or something on the first three dates, I'm out.
The girl I was most attracted to and could see a future with in the last year offered to pay every single time. I never let her. She did go to the bar once and pay... just because she wanted to. But she was awesome like that.
To be clear, I am fine paying every time (I'm a fbg). And I99% of the time, I pay. I just appreciate when a girl offers. It is the courteous thing to do. If a girl doesn't offer to pay or split or something on the first three dates, I'm out.
The girl I was most attracted to and could see a future with in the last year offered to pay every single time. I never let her. She did go to the bar once and pay... just because she wanted to. But she was awesome like that.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
For sure the gal should offer to split or pay from time to time, but this 3 dates or I'm out is a bit rigid? Now if the gal asks you out and doesn't pay then that's the I'm out that makes sense.
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CurlyNight
Footballguy
sbonomo
Footballguy
Date with number three in the books: In her profile I noticed she like Mexican and Thai food so I gave her the choice (She picked Thai). Picked her up promptly at 7:00 pm. She gave me a quick tour of her place, which I thought was impressive, then we were off. I had two restaurants picked out just in case she did not like one of them. She had not tried either so we went to the one that was in a familiar area for her. Of course it was closed. No problem, time for number two, of course it is closed as well. What the heck!!!! Thank goodness for Yelp, we were finally able to find a restaurant in the area that was open. Ordered a bottle of wine and three or four dishes so we could try a few items. Great conversation - Side note: it is getting harder and harder to remember all the details of the conversation due to the sheer quantity of these opening dates. Dinner ended and I asked if there was a favorite wine bar in the area for a night cap. She decides that she may have had a bit too much but we could grab a drink at her place - YES!!! We stop by Bevmo to grab a bottle of wine and of course it is closed. This actually served as a funny icebreaker for the rest of the night. No problem she had wine at home. Another glass of wine, more conversation, yada, yada, yada (i can confirm her body is much harder than I gave her credit for) and I finally made it home by 12:00. This gal definitely has potential to stick around for a while. It will not be a 2 or 3 date 
but that is okay. Great chemistry on both sides. I will be seeing her again soon. On to HH tomorrow with girl number 4 then second date with girl number 2 on Thursday (I can't wait for this one).
On a side note, girl #1 cancelled on me Saturday because she was feeling sick. Not a big deal, I met a buddy out in Hollywood which ended up being a night hanging out with 8-9's early 20's gals (all Pepperdine and UCLA law students - They had a million questions about corp law). One of the girls, definitely not a 20 something or 8-9, must have gotten my phone and took a funny snap chat of herself. Gal number 1 text me furious the next day (I was hung over golfing). First, I didn't even know that you can save a snap chat to your timeline or whatever it is and second, I had no idea the gal had done it. Neither actually matter other than the fact the #1 was pissed. I am completely put off by it and have not really spoken to her since. I basically told her to call me when she was thinking rationally. I guess it is pretty easy to figure out why some of these good looking, what seem to be cool chicks are single in their early to mid 30's. I am not sure exactly what to do with her. There is no way I am apologizing. I doubt she will so I guess it just fizzles. Also, this is the second time I have seen her temper flare up over seemingly meaningless things. There are too many people out there, I guess she goes from the lead to the back of the pack just like that.
but that is okay. Great chemistry on both sides. I will be seeing her again soon. On to HH tomorrow with girl number 4 then second date with girl number 2 on Thursday (I can't wait for this one). On a side note, girl #1 cancelled on me Saturday because she was feeling sick. Not a big deal, I met a buddy out in Hollywood which ended up being a night hanging out with 8-9's early 20's gals (all Pepperdine and UCLA law students - They had a million questions about corp law). One of the girls, definitely not a 20 something or 8-9, must have gotten my phone and took a funny snap chat of herself. Gal number 1 text me furious the next day (I was hung over golfing). First, I didn't even know that you can save a snap chat to your timeline or whatever it is and second, I had no idea the gal had done it. Neither actually matter other than the fact the #1 was pissed. I am completely put off by it and have not really spoken to her since. I basically told her to call me when she was thinking rationally. I guess it is pretty easy to figure out why some of these good looking, what seem to be cool chicks are single in their early to mid 30's. I am not sure exactly what to do with her. There is no way I am apologizing. I doubt she will so I guess it just fizzles. Also, this is the second time I have seen her temper flare up over seemingly meaningless things. There are too many people out there, I guess she goes from the lead to the back of the pack just like that.
mquinnjr
Footballguy
I think this is a huge point you guys are missing in dumping on girls not jumping all over getting drinks if asked just because they were asked, even if they're interested. Especially if you're reaching for the higher shelf quality of woman (e.g., looks, baller professionally, etc..). This is not the first time I've heard this, and it makes sense to me. Good looking women that have dated alot of guys in their lifetime (or at least have had the opportunity to do so) have more times than not dealt with at least one occasion where even if not hurt or physically threatened, they felt threatened by the aggressiveness of a larger, aggressive individual who could physically overpower them - if it came down to it. It's a defense mechanism, and you're a stranger technically in the above scenario. Rightfully so IMO. If you mentally put the shoe on the other foot, this makes an absolute ton of sense.
Joe T
Footballguy
Not rigid, it's pretty much a rule in every book. If a girl is interested, offer. It is the nice thing to do.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
There's a book on this? It is a nice thing to do and many do, but you said after 3 you're out.
Joe T
Footballguy
It's a ridiculous premise. "I've been stalked before so I'm only meeting for coffee."
You can take the exact same precautions for coffee that you can at a restaurant or bar after work.
Joe T
Footballguy
Ministry of Pain
Footballguy
I guess I'm confused what the difference is. Either way you're meeting the person in a public place.
The way I see it, if a girl isn't comfortable getting together at a bar after work then we probably aren't compatible. It doesn't mean she's a bad person or that there's anything wrong with her. But she and I just aren't going to work.
