***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)

[CurlyNight]

I have only dated guys with kids, but they all have them for small windows of time, and that is not my scenario....this is my challenge....protecting my daughters and wanting to be a good example, while trying to get to know someone is nearly impossible. While I am all for alone time and date nights, it is a very difficult balance.

That was my cousin's scenario. He has full custody of his young boys with every other weekend visits with their mom. They spent a lot of time with grandma while dating or worked it out with his ex to take them on longer from time to time. He and the ex are on good terms so this helped him during his courting years. It took some time and he even went to single parent dating sites, but he wound up finding his wife in court. They are both lawyers. He has a few years on her and is successful here. She was in the audience for one of his cases taking notes. Now they've been married for 3 years. He divorced his ex in 2008 and after a year of recovering, was on the wifey hunt. So it takes time but don't give up. Keep trying and remember you are the prize.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

I have only dated guys with kids, but they all have them for small windows of time, and that is not my scenario....this is my challenge....protecting my daughters and wanting to be a good example, while trying to get to know someone is nearly impossible. While I am all for alone time and date nights, it is a very difficult balance.

My first date with my eventual 2nd wife (we met on line) had her bringing her daughter with her, which I thought was not the most responsible thing to do. We met at a restaurant, so it wasn't like zed and his Brazillian chick (still shaking my head at both of them), but still....

I was pretty experienced at the blind date/on-line thing by that time, but that was a first for me. She was kind of in the same situation you're in, though she had neighbors who were good friends and could have watched her daughter. I asked her afterwards if she thought it was a good idea to bring the kid seeing as she knew nothing about me. Her answer was "Sara has better instincts about people than I do". And I married her (the mom, not Sara).

I'm still not sure which of the last couple of sentences deserves the  emoji the most

 

[CurlyNight]

My first date with my eventual 2nd wife (we met on line) had her bringing her daughter with her, which I thought was not the most responsible thing to do. We met at a restaurant, so it wasn't like zed and his Brazillian chick (still shaking my head at both of them), but still....

I was pretty experienced at the blind date/on-line thing by that time, but that was a first for me. She was kind of in the same situation you're in, though she had neighbors who were good friends and could have watched her daughter. I asked her afterwards if she thought it was a good idea to bring the kid seeing as she knew nothing about me. Her answer was "Sara has better instincts about people than I do". And I married her (the mom, not Sara).

I'm still not sure which of the last couple of sentences deserves the  emoji the most

Kids and animals always know..

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Kids and animals always know..

So they say.

One thing to keep in mind is that this was back in the Wild West days of on-line dating (1999 or 2000) when the general feeling was that almost everyone you met on-line was a stalker.  Nowadays, it's no big deal.

 

[CurlyNight]

So they say.

One thing to keep in mind is that this was back in the Wild West days of on-line dating (1999 or 2000) when the general feeling was that almost everyone you met on-line was a stalker.  Nowadays, it's no big deal.

It's true though. Why do babies cry in one stranger's arms but not another even though both are 'nice.' I've always been amazed about how animals and kids have pegged someone when the rest of us were unsure.

 

[FFChick32]

That was my cousin's scenario. He has full custody of his young boys with every other weekend visits with their mom. They spent a lot of time with grandma while dating or worked it out with his ex to take them on longer from time to time. He and the ex are on good terms so this helped him during his courting years. It took some time and he even went to single parent dating sites, but he wound up finding his wife in court. They are both lawyers. He has a few years on her and is successful here. She was in the audience for one of his cases taking notes. Now they've been married for 3 years. He divorced his ex in 2008 and after a year of recovering, was on the wifey hunt. So it takes time but don't give up. Keep trying and remember you are the prize.

Thank you!! And I am very happy your cousin was able to find the right person!

Without going into a lot of detail, my ex-husband has not been around for almost 3 years.  The last I knew, he was on the west coast (I am on the east coast).

 I have sole custody, and my family is not local. But it's ok, because I am taking a break from online dating for now. I was on and off Match for a few months, but it was very overwhelming!! ? I just wish this could be easier...

 

[FFChick32]

My first date with my eventual 2nd wife (we met on line) had her bringing her daughter with her, which I thought was not the most responsible thing to do. We met at a restaurant, so it wasn't like zed and his Brazillian chick (still shaking my head at both of them), but still....

I was pretty experienced at the blind date/on-line thing by that time, but that was a first for me. She was kind of in the same situation you're in, though she had neighbors who were good friends and could have watched her daughter. I asked her afterwards if she thought it was a good idea to bring the kid seeing as she knew nothing about me. Her answer was "Sara has better instincts about people than I do". And I married her (the mom, not Sara).

I'm still not sure which of the last couple of sentences deserves the  emoji the most

Thanks for sharing your story! I appreciate hearing people's success stories! ?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

It's true though. Why do babies cry in one stranger's arms but not another even though both are 'nice.' I've always been amazed about how animals and kids have pegged someone when the rest of us were unsure.

I hear you, but a 40-some year old woman bringing an 8 year old kid as a partner-screener on a blind date seemed odd to me. She told me explicitly that's why she brought her daughter.

 Anyway, it worked out. I got along great with both at the dinner and it was happily-ever-after (for about 5 years)

 

[CurlyNight]

Thank you!! And I am very happy your cousin was able to find the right person!

Without going into a lot of detail, my ex-husband has not been around for almost 3 years.  The last I knew, he was on the west coast (I am on the east coast).

 I have sole custody, and my family is not local. But it's ok, because I am taking a break from online dating for now. I was on and off Match for a few months, but it was very overwhelming!! ? I just wish this could be easier...

The site I've heard is really good for finding someone who is serious about friendship/relationship/whatever is ourtime.com  It says 50 and over but my friend is in her 40s and found a nice 53 year old on there. She says it took awhile but while she was searching there, she didn't come across any phonies. She tried the other sites like match and plenty of fish but said this one was the most serious minded.

 

[CurlyNight]

I hear you, but a 40-some year old woman bringing an 8 year old kid as a partner-screener on a blind date seemed odd to me. She told me explicitly that's why she brought her daughter.

 Anyway, it worked out. I got along great with both at the dinner and it was happily-ever-after (for about 5 years)

Did she tell you about the kid joining you guys or was it a surprise. I wouldn't have surprised you if it were me.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Thanks for sharing your story! I appreciate hearing people's success stories! ?

Well, it was a success in that we hit it off and got married. Didn't last, though.

I should probably completely ruin this thread by posting some of my dating stories from the days when no one posted pictures on their profiles and people thought their friends would die if they met someone on the internet

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Did she tell you about the kid joining you guys or was it a surprise. I wouldn't have surprised you if it were me.

Complete surprise. She gave me a restaurant name (which I had never been to) and I got there first. The place was shut down (as inj, no longer doing business)    She pulled up a few seconds after me with her daughter in the car. Shame on me, but my immediate thought was "two strikes". We went around the corner to another place

 

[CurlyNight]

Complete surprise. She gave me a restaurant name (which I had never been to) and I got there first. The place was shut down (as inj, no longer doing business)    She pulled up a few seconds after me with her daughter in the car. Shame on me, but my immediate thought was "two strikes". We went around the corner to another place

What happened after 5 years, if we may be so snoopy?

 

[FFChick32]

Well, it was a success in that we hit it off and got married. Didn't last, though.

I should probably completely ruin this thread by posting some of my dating stories from the days when no one posted pictures on their profiles and people thought their friends would die if they met someone on the internet

I can't even imagine not even having a photo to go by. I skipped right over the ones without a photo....you literally get hundreds of people either messaging, liking, winking, or favoriting in a given week. Profiles without a photo are pointless because they will just get skipped over.

Sorry I misunderstood....I thought you found your "happily ever after" ?

I think your stories might liven up this thread ?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

What happened after 5 years, if we may be so snoopy?

Short version? We were an awful match. Sometimes being in love isn't enough. We lined up well on several fronts (intellectually, sexually), but there were other areas that - in hindsight - should have been red flags for both of us and deal-breakers before we ever got as far as marriage.

She married a guy after our mess ended who I think is a much better fit for her.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

I can't even imagine not even having a photo to go by. I skipped right over the ones without a photo....you literally get hundreds of people either messaging, liking, winking, or favoriting in a given week. Profiles without a photo are pointless because they will just get skipped over.

Sorry I misunderstood....I thought you found your "happily ever after" ?

I think your stories might liven up this thread ?

Back then, if you told a friend or family member you were going on a date with someone you met in the internet, they'd tell you you were insane. People hid the way they met because of this (I know this, because I did it). 

It was crazy without pictures. I don't date men, so I don't know what they put in their profiles but just about every woman would compare her own looks to a celebrity. White brunette? Sandra Bullock or Marissa Tomei. White blond? Reese Weatherspoon or - I swear one did (& she self-identified as Christian) - Jenna Jameson. Black ladies all seemed to look like either Whitney Houston or Janet Jackson, based on their profiles. 

 

[CurlyNight]

I met my guy before the internet, the old fashioned way at work. We worked for a large company and he was in a different dept so it wasn't like a coworker relationship if things went south. Got a chance to check each other out from afar to see behaviour and other clues as to how this person is aside from good looking, then we met up. I think I'd rather be matched up via mutual good friends than do this internet thing if I were looking.

 

[FFChick32]

Back then, if you told a friend or family member you were going on a date with someone you met in the internet, they'd tell you you were insane. People hid the way they met because of this (I know this, because I did it). 

It was crazy without pictures. I don't date men, so I don't know what they put in their profiles but just about every woman would compare her own looks to a celebrity. White brunette? Sandra Bullock or Marissa Tomei. White blond? Reese Weatherspoon or - I swear one did (& she self-identified as Christian) - Jenna Jameson. Black ladies all seemed to look like either Whitney Houston or Janet Jackson, based on their profiles. 

??? so, basically it was just a crapshoot who you would end up meeting....I can't even imagine...

I honestly never looked at a guy's profile without a photo, so I don't know how they explained it. I don't get why they would do that.

My biggest problem with Match was the volume of people who can contact you, despite being so far outside your preferences.

Actually, that's not true.....biggest complaint is men my age (mid-40's) whose settings are women 25-35 ? 

 

[zed2283]

??? so, basically it was just a crapshoot who you would end up meeting....I can't even imagine...

I honestly never looked at a guy's profile without a photo, so I don't know how they explained it. I don't get why they would do that.

My biggest problem with Match was the volume of people who can contact you, despite being so far outside your preferences.

Actually, that's not true.....biggest complaint is men my age (mid-40's) whose settings are women 25-35 ? 

:

 

[Major]

Actually, that's not true.....biggest complaint is men my age (mid-40's) whose settings are women 25-35 ? 

I guess this doesn't apply to me. 40 here.  Age range (20-35).

 

[FFChick32]

:

I am in no position to judge....I look much younger than my age, and have had interest from 25-30-yr olds....it just depends on what you're looking for, and where your moral compass points. I just got back from brunch with my 25-yr-old crush, but my conscience won't allow me to be more than friends with him. I know (most) guys are wired differently.

But I guess my question for zed2283 is, why are you getting yourself all worked up about a 25-yr-old? Either she's going to sleep with you or she's not, but there is no chance for anything more than that....in my humble opinion...

 

[zed2283]

I am in no position to judge....I look much younger than my age, and have had interest from 25-30-yr olds....it just depends on what you're looking for, and where your moral compass points. I just got back from brunch with my 25-yr-old crush, but my conscience won't allow me to be more than friends with him. I know (most) guys are wired differently.

But I guess my question for zed2283 is, why are you getting yourself all worked up about a 25-yr-old? Either she's going to sleep with you or she's not, but there is no chance for anything more than that....in my humble opinion...

I completely disagree.

 

[FFChick32]

I completely disagree.

Is there an update I missed? I'm sure you are a great guy, but why would a "hot 25-yr-old" want to exclusively date a guy in his mid-40's? Not trying to be negative, just realistic....

edited to add: zed hates me now lol

 

[zed2283]

Is there an update I missed? I'm sure you are a great guy, but why would a "hot 25-yr-old" want to exclusively date a guy in his mid-40's? Not trying to be negative, just realistic....

edited to add: zed hates me now lol

Why not?  If she wants to exclusively date someone, what difference does it make?  Maybe it's a 6-month relationship, maybe it's 6 years.  Who knows?

 

[FFChick32]

Why not?  If she wants to exclusively date someone, what difference does it make?  Maybe it's a 6-month relationship, maybe it's 6 years.  Who knows?

As I said, I'm not trying to rain on your parade.....just trying to look out for you as you seem like a nice guy. Obviously, you have way more information than we do.

 

[cstu]

Short version? We were an awful match. Sometimes being in love isn't enough. We lined up well on several fronts (intellectually, sexually), but there were other areas that - in hindsight - should have been red flags for both of us and deal-breakers before we ever got as far as marriage.

She married a guy after our mess ended who I think is a much better fit for her.

You seem very mellow about the divorce.  I take it you didn't have kids or get taken financially.

 

[zed2283]

As I said, I'm not trying to rain on your parade.....just trying to look out for you as you seem like a nice guy. Obviously, you have way more information than we do.

Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a parade to rain on at the moment.  Honestly, she did express some reservations about my age, so there's a good chance that's in play here with the mixed signals.  But she also did initiate contact and has thought enough of me to out with me twice.  And her last relationship was with a 38-year old guy.  So yes, it's possible.

I know you're new to the thread, but we already covered the age issue a while back.  Society (and 40-something year old women, sorry) tries to push certain ideas when it comes to age and dating, but they're contrived and wrong.  I recently went out with two different 26-year olds (documented in the thread) that both would very much like to date me, but I wasn't interested.

 

[cstu]

Is there an update I missed? I'm sure you are a great guy, but why would a "hot 25-yr-old" want to exclusively date a guy in his mid-40's? Not trying to be negative, just realistic....

edited to add: zed hates me now lol

 

[James Daulton]

Zed, apparently the young, hot chicks only want to #### you and leave you.  Your life must suck...

 

[FFChick32]

Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a parade to rain on at the moment.  Honestly, she did express some reservations about my age, so there's a good chance that's in play here with the mixed signals.  But she also did initiate contact and has thought enough of me to out with me twice.  And her last relationship was with a 38-year old guy.  So yes, it's possible.

I know you're new to the thread, but we already covered the age issue a while back.  Society (and 40-something year old women, sorry) tries to push certain ideas when it comes to age and dating, but they're contrived and wrong.  I recently went out with two different 26-year olds (documented in the thread) that both would very much like to date me, but I wasn't interested.

You are correct that I am new to this party....I will have to catch up....I'm also not sure what you mean by "ideas women were pushing." I'm not trying to push any agenda here, just offering my opinion from the info you are giving.

I just have a lot of guy friends who initially thought it was a great idea to go after younger women, but eventually realized they didn't have much in common outside of the bedroom.

But I know there are exceptions to every situation.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

You seem very mellow about the divorce.  I take it you didn't have kids or get taken financially.

We met in our 40s. Took one shot at having a kid (I'd never had any, though she did) and she miscarried rather late into the pregnancy. It was crushing in a lot of different ways and hastened the end of the relationship. As for the financial part of things, I walked away from a good bit of money but going after it would have wrecked us both. So it was a clean split with no residuals. 

I dunno. I'm certainly no saint, but I've become pretty self-aware in my old age (even if I don't always listen to smart-me). Illness and just....life, I guess...have taught me that crying over spilled milk or lashing out just because something pisses me off doesn't help anyone. 

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a parade to rain on at the moment.  Honestly, she did express some reservations about my age, so there's a good chance that's in play here with the mixed signals.  But she also did initiate contact and has thought enough of me to out with me twice.  And her last relationship was with a 38-year old guy.  So yes, it's possible.

I know you're new to the thread, but we already covered the age issue a while back.  Society (and 40-something year old women, sorry) tries to push certain ideas when it comes to age and dating, but they're contrived and wrong.  I recently went out with two different 26-year olds (documented in the thread) that both would very much like to date me, but I wasn't interested.

This is an interesting post for a lot of reasons, but I'd be interested in hearing more of your thoughts on the bolded.

I'm not criticizing - we all like what we like - just wondering about it. Because I'm gonna tell you....... If you're near any kind of large population center that has a lot of professional women, those in their 40s/50s are a blast to date. Most of the young flakiness is gone, they're well into their careers, kids are gone already/close to it/there's an established care pattern, playing games isn't near as prevalent (see: all of your posts) and they know what they like (read into that what you will).

I mean, roll on, brother, with the 20-somethings if that's working for you. 

 

[Captain Cranks]

This is an interesting post for a lot of reasons, but I'd be interested in hearing more of your thoughts on the bolded.

I'm not criticizing - we all like what we like - just wondering about it. Because I'm gonna tell you....... If you're near any kind of large population center that has a lot of professional women, those in their 40s/50s are a blast to date. Most of the young flakiness is gone, they're well into their careers, kids are gone already/close to it/there's an established care pattern, playing games isn't near as prevalent (see: all of your posts) and they know what they like (read into that what you will).

I mean, roll on, brother, with the 20-somethings if that's working for you. 

More of his thoughts in this thread...  

 

[Captain Cranks]

I see sex in your near future.  

Survey says...

After an entire day of her grabbing my ### and crotch at Epcot I knew where things were headed.  When we got back to the hotel room I gave her one final, "I still want to date other people."  She said she understands and if she gets too emotionally invested then that's on her.  

 

[cstu]

Survey says...

After an entire day of her grabbing my ### and crotch at Epcot I knew where things were headed.  When we got back to the hotel room I gave her one final, "I still want to date other people."  She said she understands and if she gets too emotionally invested then that's on her.  

Please tell me you didn't buy her the ticket and pay for everything...

 

[The Grizz]

Survey says...

After an entire day of her grabbing my ### and crotch at Epcot I knew where things were headed.  When we got back to the hotel room I gave her one final, "I still want to date other people."  She said she understands and if she gets too emotionally invested then that's on her.  

Now the question is..."How emotionally invested did your #### make her?"

 

[Tiger Fan]

catching up.  

Congrats on the GF Joe T

 

[Captain Cranks]

Please tell me you didn't buy her the ticket and pay for everything...

I bought her ticket into the place and paid for the hotel.  I let her pay for a nice ### steak dinner though.   

 

[offdee]

I bought her ticket into the place and paid for the hotel.  I let her pay for a nice ### steak dinner though.   

So much meat for her that day.

 

[Captain Cranks]

Need some advice...especially from the ladies.  I had been dating a girl a couple months ago and we got along great.  However, she was never able to get past the fact that I'm still technically married and after 6 dates we decided to just be friends.  We had been keeping in touch via text over the last few weeks although I got bored with the dialogue and decided to just let things drift off into nothingness.  However, she's been hitting me up so the conversation continues.  She's moving into another apartment in a couple weeks and I offered to lend her some moving bins.  She accepted and I'm scheduled to deliver the bins to her this evening, our first physical encounter since our decision to 'just be friends'.   Right now my plan is to just drop off the bins, spend a few minutes catching up, and then bolt.  I thought about asking if she wanted to grab something to eat, but I'd rather it be her idea than mine.

Here's where I need help.  Let's assume she suggests that we grab something to eat.  Since we're now 'just friends', am I opening the door for her to get into the car?  Do I offer to pay for the entire dinner bill?  These were both things I was doing when we were dating, so I'm wondering if/how to transition away from that.    

 

[cstu]

Need some advice...especially from the ladies.  I had been dating a girl a couple months ago and we got along great.  However, she was never able to get past the fact that I'm still technically married and after 6 dates we decided to just be friends.  We had been keeping in touch via text over the last few weeks although I got bored with the dialogue and decided to just let things drift off into nothingness.  However, she's been hitting me up so the conversation continues.  She's moving into another apartment in a couple weeks and I offered to lend her some moving bins.  She accepted and I'm scheduled to deliver the bins to her this evening, our first physical encounter since our decision to 'just be friends'.   Right now my plan is to just drop off the bins, spend a few minutes catching up, and then bolt.  I thought about asking if she wanted to grab something to eat, but I'd rather it be her idea than mine.

Here's where I need help.  Let's assume she suggests that we grab something to eat.  Since we're now 'just friends', am I opening the door for her to get into the car?  Do I offer to pay for the entire dinner bill?  These were both things I was doing when we were dating, so I'm wondering if/how to transition away from that.    

IMO you're already doing too much.  She told you she wants to be friends over you being technically married, which is a blow off.  She's likely been been banging other guys.  What are you getting out of this?  Move on.

 

[offdee]

Here's where I need help.  Let's assume she suggests that we grab something to eat.  Since we're now 'just friends', am I opening the door for her to get into the car?  Do I offer to pay for the entire dinner bill?  These were both things I was doing when we were dating, so I'm wondering if/how to transition away from that.    

- Opening the door for her to get into the car?   You shouldn't even be doing this when you are truly dating, let alone now in this situation.  No.

- Pay for the entire dinner bill? You did her a favor by lending her some things and going out of your way to get them to her....she should be paying the entire bill to thank you for that.   

These are both prime things that you can use and joke about with her to cut through any weirdness that may be present. And the funny thing is, the more you show you're not doing these things because you're not into her like that anymore, the more she will actually be into you.

 

[Captain Cranks]

IMO you're already doing too much.  She told you she wants to be friends over you being technically married, which is a blow off.  She's likely been been banging other guys.  What are you getting out of this?  Move on.

Meh.  I don't walk through life wondering what I'm "getting out of this".  I'm content just being friends and offered to help with her move.   

 

[James Daulton]

- Opening the door for her to get into the car?   You shouldn't even be doing this when you are truly dating, let alone now in this situation.  No.

- Pay for the entire dinner bill? You did her a favor by lending her some things and going out of your way to get them to her....she should be paying the entire bill to thank you for that.   

These are both prime things that you can use and joke about with her to cut through any weirdness that may be present. And the funny thing is, the more you show you're not doing these things because you're not into her like that anymore, the more she will actually be into you.

Seriously, everything doesn't have to be game or a act to give you control.  It's actually ok just to be a nice guy once in while and not worry about it undermining you down the road.  If you enjoy her company and you have the time, no worries.  Plus you'll burn some calories and maybe you'll score yourself a bj out of the deal. 

 

[zed2283]

- Opening the door for her to get into the car?   You shouldn't even be doing this when you are truly dating, let alone now in this situation.  No.

- Pay for the entire dinner bill? You did her a favor by lending her some things and going out of your way to get them to her....she should be paying the entire bill to thank you for that.   

These are both prime things that you can use and joke about with her to cut through any weirdness that may be present. And the funny thing is, the more you show you're not doing these things because you're not into her like that anymore, the more she will actually be into you.

Yeah, I'm kind of wondering about the door thing too.  Why wouldn't you do that if you were dating someone?

 

[Captain Cranks]

Yeah, I'm kind of wondering about the door thing too.  Why wouldn't you do that if you were dating someone?

Really.  Opening the car door, or other types of courtesy, for a date is now considered a bad thing?  Can we get a female opinion in here?   

 

[[icon]]

So much meat for her that day.

Classic

 

[offdee]

Really.  Opening the car door, or other types of courtesy, for a date is now considered a bad thing?  Can we get a female opinion in here?   

It's not the end of the world, but in my opinion it just seems forced and awkward.  It's a similar thing as pulling out a chair for a woman when she sits down at a table or ordering her dinner for her...back in the day this may have been deemed chivalrous, but it's outdated now  Women are more independent these days and some may actually find this weird (especially if you're dating a girl in her 20's).   Open doors going into restaurants and stuff like that, of course, but the pulling out chairs and opening car doors doesn't feel like a natural flow (probably because you have that weird walk back around to your side of the table/car).  No matter how smooth you are, it's an action that just feels "forced".  And you hear women say all the time how important the idea of it "feeling natural and easy" with a guy is. 

 

[zed2283]

It's not the end of the world, but in my opinion it just seems forced and awkward.  It's a similar thing as pulling out a chair for a woman when she sits down at a table or ordering her dinner for her...back in the day this may have been deemed chivalrous, but it's outdated now  Women are more independent these days and some may actually find this weird (especially if you're dating a girl in her 20's).   Open doors going into restaurants and stuff like that, of course, but the pulling out chairs and opening car doors doesn't feel like a natural flow (probably because you have that weird walk back around to your side of the table/car).  No matter how smooth you are, it's an action that just feels "forced".  And you hear women say all the time how important the idea of it "feeling natural and easy" with a guy is. 

It never feels forced or awkward to me, I just do it.  Now if she's already there and opens it herself, that doesn't bother me either.

 

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It's not the end of the world, but in my opinion it just seems forced and awkward.  It's a similar thing as pulling out a chair for a woman when she sits down at a table or ordering her dinner for her...back in the day this may have been deemed chivalrous, but it's outdated now  Women are more independent these days and some may actually find this weird.   Open doors going into restaurants and stuff like that, of course, but the pulling out chairs and opening car doors doesn't feel like a natural flow.  No matter how smooth you are, it's an action that just feels "forced".  And you hear women say all the time how important the idea of it "feeling natural and easy" with a guy is. 

Pretty well said here... If it's in my natural flow (ie I'm already approaching from that side of the car), or if we're out on a big night out (dressed up moreso than usual, nice dinner, show, etc type evening). Then I'll usually do stuff like that to further the "special evening" vibe. 

That said, going out of your way to open the car door all the time is a bit overkill today.