people who own lots of toys... how? (2 Viewers)

[NutterButter]

Is this going to be the new new new retirement thread?   I'm getting that sensation.  

 

[bigbottom]

Is this going to be the new new new retirement thread?   I'm getting that sensation.  

I think it’s somewhat transformed from “what to do so that you can afford a few toys” to “toys are stupid and irresponsible.”

 

[MAC_32]

I think it’s somewhat transformed from “what to do so that you can afford a few toys” to “toys are stupid and irresponsible.”

I dream of a day when most will realize there is a balance between two extremes. 

 

[NutterButter]

I dream of a day when most will realize there is a balance between two extremes. 

my dreams are a little racier, but to each his own.

 

[-fish-]

I don't finance anything and have no debt except my mortgage.  I've always owned a boat because I really enjoy fishing and being on the water.  Because I owned a boat, I owned a truck to tow it.  I got tired of driving a truck everywhere so I bought a convertible coupe as my daily driver, but I still need the truck, so I had two vehicles.   Then I bought one for my daughter to drive until she goes to college so I have three.     My kid got older and the fishing boat wasn't something she enjoyed anymore.   My friends are older and don't have kids at home, so I bought a bigger boat that I can take out for weekends.  I kept the fishing boat, because I still like fishing.   So I have two boats, three cars and a house.    I live at the top of a steep hill, but I like riding my bike around town, so I got ebikes for myself and my girlfriend because once I moved here I realized that I wasn't riding my bike anymore because at the end of the day I didn't want to ride up the hill.

I'm getting ready to partially retire so I'm going to buy a vacation home in Baja and split time between there and Washington.

I worked my ### off to get to this point.  100 hour weeks, no vacations for years until about 5 years ago.

 

[matuski]

You are clearly not OK with it.

You don't need a boat, you need to change your expectations.

Gekko 2020 trying to change to a more judgmental alias.

 

[-OZ-]

I dream of a day when most will realize there is a balance between two extremes. 

I have a dream... That someday people are content in their own lives and are willing to let people live their lives. Those people will actually care enough to help each other follow their own path, sometimes walking together, sometimes carrying their buddy, sometimes rubbing their buddy's smelly swollen feet...

 

[mr. furley]

You can buy a nice, reliable, family friendly boat for 10k.  I see them quite frequently as I search for my boat.

Where do you live and are you really interested in a boat?

WI and not seriously interested.  it pops up in my brain every summer, but doesn't seem practical.  hadn't really considered renting a pontoon until this summer.  at this rate... it will have to wait until next.

 

[DallasDMac]

There are many scientific studies that show "stuff" makes you happy for a few MONTHS. Memories on the other hand, like a trip to a foreign country,. can keep you happy for years. So when we spend, we spend it on making memories (Ireland, Italy, etc.), not worrying about trying to keep up with the neighbors.

 

[DallasDMac]

I have a dream... That someday people are content in their own lives and are willing to let people live their lives. Those people will actually care enough to help each other follow their own path, sometimes walking together, sometimes carrying their buddy, sometimes rubbing their buddy's smelly swollen feet...

I don't really see that in here. Pointing out that many of these folks are likely severely leveraged to support the lifestyle isn't telling anyone how to live. A fact is simply a fact. it isn't inherently judgmental.

 

[Judge Smails]

There are many scientific studies that show "stuff" makes you happy for a few MONTHS. Memories on the other hand, like a trip to a foreign country,. can keep you happy for years. So when we spend, we spend it on making memories (Ireland, Italy, etc.), not worrying about trying to keep up with the neighbors.

Yeah me too. I pay big for experiences. Travel, live performances of any kind, guys and couples trips. I just don’t tend to gravitate towards “stuff”, including supposed status symbols

 

[mr. furley]

I have a dream... That someday people are content in their own lives and are willing to let people live their lives. Those people will actually care enough to help each other follow their own path, sometimes walking together, sometimes carrying their buddy, sometimes rubbing their buddy's smelly swollen feet...

guys, it's getting warm in here

 

[bigbottom]

There are many scientific studies that show "stuff" makes you happy for a few MONTHS. Memories on the other hand, like a trip to a foreign country,. can keep you happy for years. So when we spend, we spend it on making memories (Ireland, Italy, etc.), not worrying about trying to keep up with the neighbors.

What about stuff that gives you memories? Taking my son and his friends out on my boat to go tubing and wakeboarding/wakeskating are some of my favorite memories over the last several years. My wife loves escaping the big city and stresses of our daily life to enjoy the peace and tranquility of our modest and remote lake house. It rejuvenates her. I don’t have a motorcycle, but have a couple relatives who do and they live for their long rides. Most of my other “stuff” is related to my music, which brings immense joy and is a big part of my life.  Fancy cars, expensive houses and name brands aren’t really my thing, but I find that “stuff” can indeed promote happiness if it’s the right kind of stuff.  And that will of course vary from person to person. 

 

[Drunken Cowboy]

Don't have kids

 

[Judge Smails]

I'm getting ready to partially retire so I'm going to buy a vacation home in Baja and split time between there and Washington.

I worked my ### off to get to this point.  100 hour weeks, no vacations for years until about 5 years ago.

 

[Judge Smails]

Sweet - where in Baja? This is my Plan A as well. Don’t know if the wife is on board yet. Right now I’m thinking Loreto Bay

 

[Terminalxylem]

I don't finance anything and have no debt except my mortgage.  I've always owned a boat because I really enjoy fishing and being on the water.  Because I owned a boat, I owned a truck to tow it.  I got tired of driving a truck everywhere so I bought a convertible coupe as my daily driver, but I still need the truck, so I had two vehicles.   Then I bought one for my daughter to drive until she goes to college so I have three.     My kid got older and the fishing boat wasn't something she enjoyed anymore.   My friends are older and don't have kids at home, so I bought a bigger boat that I can take out for weekends.  I kept the fishing boat, because I still like fishing.   So I have two boats, three cars and a house.    I live at the top of a steep hill, but I like riding my bike around town, so I got ebikes for myself and my girlfriend because once I moved here I realized that I wasn't riding my bike anymore because at the end of the day I didn't want to ride up the hill.

I'm getting ready to partially retire so I'm going to buy a vacation home in Baja and split time between there and Washington.

I worked my ### off to get to this point.  100 hour weeks, no vacations for years until about 5 years ago.

Yikes. Are you at least going to retire young?

 

[Sand]

What about stuff that gives you memories? 

Experience enablers.  Hiking gear, my bike, good camera, etc.  I think of them as entry tickets to experiences.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Don't have kids

This might be the best way to afford more toys.

 

[eoMMan]

oh, no way. i'm low frills. 

just twinge of jealousy here and there when i see folks piling off to the lake with their family boat for a 4-day weekend. it's something i'd like to do, but even living as cheaply as we do it's just not possible. i'm ok with it.  

Rent a boat for the weekend.  That's the way to go.

If you aren't taking the boat out like at least once a month, it's not worth it to own one, imo.

 

[eoMMan]

 100 hour weeks

link

 

[Payne]

Man that sure would suck to live life while you can.   I mean who wants to spend their hard earned money on fun stuff and spending time with their family.  Eww.  I would much rather be like me Dad who squeezed every penny and was waiting till retirement to "live."   My Dad passed at 63.    Sure wish I would have had a Seadoo, Cabin, or Boat memories.   But those guys who leverage everything to have fun are losers.

I feel the same way as the original poster. Sucks even worse when your wife or kids voice their displeasure for not having certain things like a boat or cottage. 

We did make the decision years ago to travel and provide our kids diversity instead of same old cabin year in and year out.

However, your point is valid. And I agree. Maybe it's time to open up the wallet and live on the edge a little. 

 

[Da Guru]

You can easily come up with 20-30k+ per year after taxes by not saving for retirement and college.    Throw in refis to cash out some equity, that's a lot of fun money.    Then there's what their parents are throwing in.   I save like crazy and live a pretty simple lifestyle but I plan on spending a lot on vacas with my grandkids.    So many factors at play.    

That is a good plan on paper and I hope you live long to  enjoy it that way.  My wife uncle plan was the same as he made good money, saved, saved and invested for the future.  The sad thing is he passed away at 56.  His wife remarried two years later, bought a new home, a vacation condo on the ocean and lives high on the hog traveling all over the world (pre-covid) with his savings.

He was worth well over 2 million not including his paid off home when he passed and this was 20 years ago.  You would never have known it, golfed with old clubs, always drove cars for 10-15 years. Never went out to eat.  Actually never enjoyed himself.  Had deep pockets.

So enjoy life too.

 

[belljr]

I've never been a "toy guy", I might wish I had a nicer car time to time.  My surround sound is about as close to a toy I have.   I always look into buying a boat or summer home and then think of all the money I'll spend for up keep and bail quickly.   I feel pretty good that I have enough saved for my kids college for the most part and that if something were to happen with my wife or my job we wouldn't be too stressed for a little while at least.

Bottom line, I'm just lazy

 

[NutterButter]

That is a good plan on paper and I hope you live long to  enjoy it that way.  My wife uncle plan was the same as he made good money, saved, saved and invested for the future.  The sad thing is he passed away at 56.  His wife remarried two years later, bought a new home, a vacation condo on the ocean and lives high on the hog traveling all over the world (pre-covid) with his savings.

He was worth well over 2 million not including his paid off home when he passed and this was 20 years ago.  You would never have known it, golfed with old clubs, always drove cars for 10-15 years. Never went out to eat.  Actually never enjoyed himself.  Had deep pockets.

So enjoy life too.

Do you know that to be true?  Different people enjoy themselves in different ways.  I personally derive a lot of happiness from knowing that I'm in a very financially secure place and I don't have to work a stressful and time consuming job to get there.   Its just a different approach to happiness.  

 

[mr. furley]

this seems to have turned in to a "#### you if you own a boat and go on vacation" thread

never intended that   

 

[MAC_32]

Rent a boat for the weekend.  That's the way to go.

If you aren't taking the boat out like at least once a month, it's not worth it to own one, imo.

Given how we vacation it won't develop into an every year sorta thing, but now that our youngest is 4 and doesn't require constant attention lake house long weekend's are going on the table beginning next year. When we do it a boat rental will be baked into the vacation budget. I think it'll be worth it to deal with it a for a couple-few days, but even if we used it enough to justify it I have zero interest in owning. I've spent the last numbers of years shedding distractions and things needing managed - I'm sure not replacing those with this.

 

[-fish-]

link

Go into the lawyer thread and ask the other trial lawyers what their weeks look like.  100 is light.

 

[-fish-]

Sweet - where in Baja? This is my Plan A as well. Don’t know if the wife is on board yet. Right now I’m thinking Loreto Bay

Yeah, Loreto would be my first choice.  I usually go there once a year for the dorado tournament.

 

[-fish-]

Yikes. Are you at least going to retire young?

I guess that's relative.   I should be able to retire by 60.   Divorce in my late 30's wiped me out and made me start over from zero.   Daughter is 2 years from college, and I'm committed to paying for her education.   She wants to go to NYU, so that's going to be pricey.

 

[Redwes25]

This old commercial is the perfect explanation. 
 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r0HX4a5P8eE

 

[-OZ-]

I don't really see that in here. Pointing out that many of these folks are likely severely leveraged to support the lifestyle isn't telling anyone how to live. A fact is simply a fact. it isn't inherently judgmental.

Perhaps not. But most of time these conversations are quite judgemental. Maybe not here. 

 

[bigbottom]

Go into the lawyer thread and ask the other trial lawyers what their weeks look like.  100 is light.

You're not averaging 100-hour weeks are you?  That sounds absolutely miserable.  When I was a trial lawyer in Biglaw, I definitely had some 100-hour weeks, but it was by no means the norm.  Not even close.

 

[-OZ-]

This old commercial is the perfect explanation. 
 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r0HX4a5P8eE

https://youtu.be/QzE76nUSjL8

 

[-OZ-]

Go into the lawyer thread and ask the other trial lawyers what their weeks look like.  100 is light.

Yeah, F that. 

I'll take my flexible 40 hours even if I get paid a lot less than some of these lawyers.  (Although I have worked over 100 hours weekly for months on end, without a country club or running water.)

 

[Sand]

(Although I have worked over 100 hours weekly for months on end, without a country club or running water.)

So we finally found somewhere to stick all the lawyers...

 

[nirad3]

Find yourself a friend with cash coming out of his or her orifices.  One of my best buddies is filthy rich and has a cabin and boat in Big Bear, CA and invites me and another buddy up to hang out for the weekend a couple times a year.  

I still drive a 2004 Toyota Corolla that squeaks when you start 'er up.  Just got a new job that pays a lot better so I'm finally in the market for a new ride.  That'll be my one "toy".

 

[Terminalxylem]

this seems to have turned in to a "#### you if you own a boat and go on vacation" thread

never intended that   

That definitely wasn't my intent. Not a religious person, but I think I'd be Buddhist if I were. My beliefs align well with the second noble truth:

Buddha’s Second Noble Truth is the origin of dukkha, or suffering. He realized that there was no way to end suffering if its cause was not known. In order to uncover the source, Buddha would listen to the “symptoms” of others and determine what makes them worse and what provided relief or improvement. This trial and error approach revealed three primary causes of suffering: desire, craving and ignorance.

Suffering Caused by Craving

Craving can cause suffering in multiple ways. Every person on the planet experiences a feeling of want at some point in their lives. It could be for anything from entertainment, food and material possessions to physical beauty and popularity. Buddhists teach that things that stimulate the senses can cause cravings.

The problem is that anything that causes cravings is short lived. None of these things lasts forever. A delicious meal will eventually be eaten and physical beauty will fade with time. The things we crave cannot provide fulfilling, long term happiness, which leads to feelings of dissatisfaction. Even if a person was allowed to constantly indulge, they would eventually feel unhappy as they grow tired of the object of their craving.

Craving and ignorance are considered close relatives in the teachings of Buddha. Before greed, hatred and negative thoughts branch out, they must take root somewhere. Buddhism explains that the roots flourish within ignorance.

True ignorance doesn’t mean a lack of education or knowledge. In Buddhism, ignorance describes an inability to see the truth. When a person cannot see things for what they really are, they will have a limited understanding of the world and will not be able to grow and improve. Ignorance also brings on delusions and misunderstanding, which cultivates negativity.

When a person shrugs off their ignorance and develops their mind, they can obtain wisdom through meditation and study. This will allow them to observe the truth and view all things as they really are. It is a necessary state to reach for a person to be able to understand the Four Noble Truths and Buddha’s teachings on suffering and life’s impermanence.

A Life without Cravings and Ignorance

Buddhists believe that living without cravings or ignorance is essential to obtaining enlightenment and finding real happiness. By banishing the veil of ignorance, a person can see the world without illusions or fear. They will also be able to stop suffering caused by cravings and develop their minds through meditation.

Don't get me wrong, I don't live like a Buddhist monk. I vacation at least 4 weeks every year, and agree with others that experiences are worth far more than "toys". But I don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses, and believe craving material possessions/wealth/status won't lead to fulfillment in the long term. Moreover, associated financial obligations/debt can tether one to a suboptimal job in order to pay the bills, further degrading one's happiness.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I guess that's relative.   I should be able to retire by 60.   Divorce in my late 30's wiped me out and made me start over from zero.   Daughter is 2 years from college, and I'm committed to paying for her education.   She wants to go to NYU, so that's going to be pricey.

Well you've definitely earned it. Hopefully the pay off is worth all the sacrifice. GL.

 

[pollardsvision]

we saw some folks on the river a couple weeks back. boat after boat after boat. pontoons have always intrigued me. seems like it would be relatively low cost, easy to pilot, good for the kids to relax on with friends, etc.

so i got to thinking what if i could afford one? we have a vehicle to tow it. water is close by. i'd love to kill summer weekends floating.

then i looked at the prices..... and hoooooooooooooooly #### i didn't realize they were that far out of my range. it's silly.

You know what they say about the 2 most exciting days of boat ownership........

 

[MTskibum]

You know what they say about the 2 most exciting days of boat ownership........

The best days are when you buy it and when you upgrade to one 2 feet bigger.

Unless of course you get some epic fishing days. Then that can be more exciting.

 

[Shutout]

There's a truthful answer somewhere firmly in the spectrum of

mortgaged and swimming in debt up to their eyeballs and living like there's no tomorrow 

and

Double income, no kids (dinks), trust fund baby, inheritance

but I'm telling you, you are DOING IT RIGHT because you NEVER want to be the guy that owns a boat. You want to be the friend of the guy that owns a boat. Those things are ridiculously expensive to maintain and keep up, etc.  

 

[shader]

without getting in to the financials here, how do some of you afford the extras?

wife and i do OK. we live in a nice suburb. nice house. we both drive cars. we save money. we take one vacation per year. we're certainly not suffering (for now).

then i look at families who i know to be roughly in the same position (seemingly) and they have a cabin, a boat, 2 sea-doos, his & her ATV's, plus one each for the kids... who also have their own motorbikes... kayaks... and snowmobiles, an RV, a pop-up camper.. they just dumped 30k in to a kitchen remodel, and 15k for a new roof, then they're re-doing the driveway once they come back from Mexico for vacation.

what in the ever living #### am i doing wrong? 

are you people leveraged up to your nipples? did your parents buy your first house? did you win the lottery? muling yayo for the cartel?

talk to me because i want to be like you

Debt and home equity I’d presume

 

[Dentist]

A lot of those people will either be working into their 70s and hating their lives then or will be seriously poor old people.  I see it all the time.

Now, some of those people admit that their 30-50 year old self basically told their 70 year old self to eff off...  and they are ok with that.

 

[the rover]

You're not averaging 100-hour weeks are you?  That sounds absolutely miserable.  When I was a trial lawyer in Biglaw, I definitely had some 100-hour weeks, but it was by no means the norm.  Not even close.

Not anymore, not even close.  Most weeks now I’m probably more like 20.

But in my first 10 years?  Probably took less than 4 weeks of vacation total and 100 hours was pretty normal.

 

[Dentist]

I knew a dentist who had all the nice things you're talking about and then all of a sudden he lost his home because the money ran dry and he was refinanced up to the roof.  He sold all the stuff, lost all his friends, and basically lives in a crappy apartment now like a poor person.

Now the question is....  would he do it over again to live that high life in his 40's and 50's... or was there some regret there?     All his peers lost all their respect for him because they realized the life he was living was a lie.

On the other I see a lot of people buy boats and stuff later in life when they don't have the physicality to use and benefit from them anymore and basically their kids are the only winners, which is fine also.

You can't just all of a sudden take up waterskiing and wakeboarding in your late 40s to early 50's without some real physical consequences.

I was lucky enough to be given an old but usable boat in my early 30's when my friends and I could still really enjoy it physically.

 

[Craig_MiamiFL]

I have a dream... That someday people are content in their own lives and are willing to let people live their lives. 

         

Because 1 wasn't enough.

 

[bushdocda]

The cars, trucks, boats are stunning. Driveway with Benzes or Range Rovers, second boats. All kinds of stuff.  It’s resource allocation, availability of credit and lack of risk aversion gone wild.  I can’t fathom the car lease or purchase payments folks must have or how they are ok with it.  Some folks then have a hell of a house, private school, lots of kids.  It’s endless.  I assume some have the loot through great comp, big bonuses, family $.  But a lot have to be stressing like the guy in Ozark and paddling like crazy under the surface.

Admittedly, we dump our bigger chunks of $ into house and yard and I just want a new truck but the Subaru is fine so I keep deferring a vehicle upgrade. 

 

[bigbottom]

but I'm telling you, you are DOING IT RIGHT because you NEVER want to be the guy that owns a boat. You want to be the friend of the guy that owns a boat. Those things are ridiculously expensive to maintain and keep up, etc.  

People keep saying this, but I bought a used ski boat four years ago.  Had to put some money into it up front, but since then haven't spent anything to maintain it other than $150 or so to winterize it each year.  Will probably take it off the lake for the first time after this summer for a tune up and to fix a couple speakers that are not working (the original owner put a ridiculous number of speakers on this boat).

 

[bigbottom]

That definitely wasn't my intent. Not a religious person, but I think I'd be Buddhist if I were. My beliefs align well with the second noble truth:

Don't get me wrong, I don't live like a Buddhist monk. I vacation at least 4 weeks every year, and agree with others that experiences are worth far more than "toys". But I don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses, and believe craving material possessions/wealth/status won't lead to fulfillment in the long term. Moreover, associated financial obligations/debt can tether one to a suboptimal job in order to pay the bills, further degrading one's happiness.

Owning a boat (at least for me) has nothing whatsoever to do with craving material possessions/wealth/status.  It is entirely 100% because we love boating and watersports.  I would think that is the same thing for most boat owners.  It lives at the lake and is never at my house, so the neighbors have no earthly idea that I even own it.  It has literally never been to my house. Just like for those who go on elaborate vacations, I think most go for the experience and the memories, not because they want to show off their extravagant vacation pictures on social media to their friends.

p.s.  My grandfather was Buddhist (lived on Oahu and the Big Island).