Please help - Father sadly passed away suddenly - how to divide stuff (1 Viewer)

[boots11234]

OK. So my dad died suddenly and there are a total of 7 siblings. My dad was very worried that we not fight over his stuff. The money was willed and in a trust so that is good. However now he has a house full of stuff from both him and my mom that besides sentimental value Im guessing also has a significant monetary value. So my question to others who have gone through this is: What is the fairest way to divide up the stuff? What if 2 people want the same thing? Understand my dad and his siblings fought over everything and he did not want this for us. Mostly I consider my siblings pretty rational but something like this is very emotional so I am worried. An executor has been named, 2 actually. I am not one of them.

Please help me. I think it should be like a lottery, if you want something put your name in a hat and if its drawn you get it. What say FFA?

 

[EYLive]

Draft or auction

 

[boots11234]

sorry, could you better explain how a draft would work. Dumb question I know but I want to be certain I understand.

 

[boots11234]

My dad was a master wood worker. He made 7 clocks. Would you allow one person the chance to get all 7? Again sorry. Im kind of flustered but love my siblings and want to suggest the right thing to the executors.

 

[boots11234]

Have a way to randomly assign an order, like drawing names out of a hat or have 7 quarters with different dates and pick those out of a hat, with the draft going in order of the dates.

Starting with the "winner", each person gets to pick one item they'd like to keep. If someone wants all seven clocks they have to hope the others don't pick any of them. After everyone has picked once, start over again at the beginning and repeat until everything is gone. Serpentine might be more fair if there is a great disparity in the value of items but selling that idea to the others might be kind of dicey.

People pick weird things to fight over after a death so be prepared for that. I have seen some really despicable behavior but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Hopefully your siblings will keep in mind your father's wishes about keeping the peace and it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much for the idea. What do you think about 5 siblings want one item, so they put their name in a hat. Whoever is drawn gets that item. Is that OK for you?

 

[The Future Champs]

Have a way to randomly assign an order, like drawing names out of a hat or have 7 quarters with different dates and pick those out of a hat, with the draft going in order of the dates.

Starting with the "winner", each person gets to pick one item they'd like to keep. If someone wants all seven clocks they have to hope the others don't pick any of them. After everyone has picked once, start over again at the beginning and repeat until everything is gone. Serpentine might be more fair if there is a great disparity in the value of items but selling that idea to the others might be kind of dicey.

People pick weird things to fight over after a death so be prepared for that. I have seen some really despicable behavior but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Hopefully your siblings will keep in mind your father's wishes about keeping the peace and it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much for the idea. What do you think about 5 siblings want one item, so they put their name in a hat. Whoever is drawn gets that item. Is that OK for you?

Sure, and if their name is drawn they can't put their name in for anything else until everyone has an item. Then repeat.Personally, I'd go with an auction format, using monopoly money, plus beer and wine.

I'd also suggest that - at least in the early rounds - everytime someone wins an item they standup and say why the item is significant to them.

 

[boots11234]

Have a way to randomly assign an order, like drawing names out of a hat or have 7 quarters with different dates and pick those out of a hat, with the draft going in order of the dates.

Starting with the "winner", each person gets to pick one item they'd like to keep. If someone wants all seven clocks they have to hope the others don't pick any of them. After everyone has picked once, start over again at the beginning and repeat until everything is gone. Serpentine might be more fair if there is a great disparity in the value of items but selling that idea to the others might be kind of dicey.

People pick weird things to fight over after a death so be prepared for that. I have seen some really despicable behavior but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Hopefully your siblings will keep in mind your father's wishes about keeping the peace and it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much for the idea. What do you think about 5 siblings want one item, so they put their name in a hat. Whoever is drawn gets that item. Is that OK for you?

Sure, and if their name is drawn they can't put their name in for anything else until everyone has an item. Then repeat.Personally, I'd go with an auction format, using monopoly money, plus beer and wine.

I'd also suggest that - at least in the early rounds - everytime someone wins an item they standup and say why the item is significant to them.

Wow. I LOVE the idea of standing up and saying why the item is significant to them. I am already shedding tears thinking about this. Need lots of booze for this. Thank you so very much.

 

[The Future Champs]

Have a way to randomly assign an order, like drawing names out of a hat or have 7 quarters with different dates and pick those out of a hat, with the draft going in order of the dates.

Starting with the "winner", each person gets to pick one item they'd like to keep. If someone wants all seven clocks they have to hope the others don't pick any of them. After everyone has picked once, start over again at the beginning and repeat until everything is gone. Serpentine might be more fair if there is a great disparity in the value of items but selling that idea to the others might be kind of dicey.

People pick weird things to fight over after a death so be prepared for that. I have seen some really despicable behavior but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Hopefully your siblings will keep in mind your father's wishes about keeping the peace and it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much for the idea. What do you think about 5 siblings want one item, so they put their name in a hat. Whoever is drawn gets that item. Is that OK for you?

Sure, and if their name is drawn they can't put their name in for anything else until everyone has an item. Then repeat.Personally, I'd go with an auction format, using monopoly money, plus beer and wine.

I'd also suggest that - at least in the early rounds - everytime someone wins an item they standup and say why the item is significant to them.

Wow. I LOVE the idea of standing up and saying why the item is significant to them. I am already shedding tears thinking about this. Need lots of booze for this. Thank you so very much.

You're very welcome. I've had similar discussions with my brothers, and this is where we're leaning. Obviously, (for the folks following along), the point is to remind everyone involved that we're all siblings, with similar but different family memories.

 

[chauncey]

I can't tell if this is a shtick thread or serious, you never know what you are going to get at 3am in the ffa.

If serious, sorry for your loss boots, your dad sounds like a caring man who raised you right. And this auction/draft idea sounds awesome. Be sure to film it.

 

[sho nuff]

Have a way to randomly assign an order, like drawing names out of a hat or have 7 quarters with different dates and pick those out of a hat, with the draft going in order of the dates.

Starting with the "winner", each person gets to pick one item they'd like to keep. If someone wants all seven clocks they have to hope the others don't pick any of them. After everyone has picked once, start over again at the beginning and repeat until everything is gone. Serpentine might be more fair if there is a great disparity in the value of items but selling that idea to the others might be kind of dicey.

People pick weird things to fight over after a death so be prepared for that. I have seen some really despicable behavior but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Hopefully your siblings will keep in mind your father's wishes about keeping the peace and it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much for the idea. What do you think about 5 siblings want one item, so they put their name in a hat. Whoever is drawn gets that item. Is that OK for you?

Sure, and if their name is drawn they can't put their name in for anything else until everyone has an item. Then repeat.Personally, I'd go with an auction format, using monopoly money, plus beer and wine.

I'd also suggest that - at least in the early rounds - everytime someone wins an item they standup and say why the item is significant to them.

Wow. I LOVE the idea of standing up and saying why the item is significant to them. I am already shedding tears thinking about this. Need lots of booze for this. Thank you so very much.

You're very welcome. I've had similar discussions with my brothers, and this is where we're leaning. Obviously, (for the folks following along), the point is to remind everyone involved that we're all siblings, with similar but different family memories.

Glad to see people are doing this...will be going through some of this over the next months/year and so on. Sorry to hear about your dad Boots...my father passed away last month after a 2 year battle with brain tumors. So, not exactly sudden. My step-mother will be going through the house and slowly my half brother and sister will split some things...and my brother and I will as well. I don't see much fight over most of it...though, a few of my dad's paintings may be a point of contention. He was a commercial artist by trade, but did a lot of art on the side as a hobby. A lot of sports stuff that has been autographed including a montage of Bart Starr that is awesome. My guess is this one my brother will want, I think my Mom has a possible claim to it...Id love it but know I won't get it right away. Not quite sure how my step-mom sees this one yet). But I think he had enough art done that everyone will have certain pieces and we will have a sort of draft for that.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Seems to me that your Dad named two executors to handle these decisions. Sorry for your loss.

 

[CurlyNight]

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I hope this difficult part of it goes smoothly. With my family we are all sensitive to one another so if someone is saying this really means something to them, then they mean it and they get it. I know with many families this can turn ugly and even create distance when you need to become closer so I pray that it will go smoothly. The hat idea for drawing a name in the event more than 1 person want something is a great one. Best wishes.

 

[johnnycakes]

Auction everything off in a private family-only auction. Final proceeds divided evenly between the family members. This way those who want to pay more for a particular thing may do so; others may choose to pass and take the cash from others' pickings.

 

[Chemical X]

T and P.....

best thing to do and many families I know have done is a FAAB for this. each family member gets 200- in Monopoly money, so to speak, and they blind bid the items. in case of ties you should probably prioritize. it's a fun way to deal with a tragedy!

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Sorry for the loss

I think any disputes should be settled by an FFA pole. You could post the item and a little background on the siblings

 

[DropKick]

Steel Cage Match....

Seriously, I'm sure an auction or a random draw sounds good in the FFA forum but I'm not so sure about real life with emotions, etc. Hopefully, your siblings have enough sense and character to work this out without residual hard feelings.

If you think there is a reasonable number of items that will prove contentious, the idea of a "draft" (oldest to youngest, serpentine, lol) is fair and would probably be received that way.

 

[Chemical X]

the draft idea is interesting, maybe you can list some items and we can mock for a sense of value, without the sentiment.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I would not do an auction, with real money or fake. Real money can cause issues with those siblings that simply don't have the funds. Sure, they'll get money in the end, but nothing of sentimental value. This can cause hurt feelings whether they are expressed or not.

Fake money.....do you really want to divide up your family belongings using a method that requires strategy? Seems like a bad road to go down.

I'd advocate for a straight draft.

My condolences Boots.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I should add that an inventory list before you start is mandatory. You want complete transparency in something like this.

 

[NutterButter]

Auction everything off in a private family-only auction. Final proceeds divided evenly between the family members. This way those who want to pay more for a particular thing may do so; others may choose to pass and take the cash from others' pickings.

I like this idea. I can't think of a single thing that I'd want from my parents house when they pass.

 

[Gawain]

Auction everything off in a private family-only auction. Final proceeds divided evenly between the family members. This way those who want to pay more for a particular thing may do so; others may choose to pass and take the cash from others' pickings.

I like this idea. I can't think of a single thing that I'd want from my parents house when they pass.

Sounds like his dad was a craftsman. There are likely a lot of sentimental items and there are possibly valuable items as well. I agree that an auction is likely to build resentment if there are siblings that are more successful than others. If there are outliers in terms of value (he's got a 2013 Lexus paid off, next most valuable part of the estate is a 2K item), I think you have to take fair market value into consideration unless every sibling is to the point where the cash value of the item would be considered de minimus to all siblings. Pick 1.01 could be worth more than all other picks in the draft. Really though, it's up to the executors.

Deepest condolences on your lose. Thinking of you and your family.

 

[boots11234]

I can't tell if this is a shtick thread or serious, you never know what you are going to get at 3am in the ffa.

If serious, sorry for your loss boots, your dad sounds like a caring man who raised you right. And this auction/draft idea sounds awesome. Be sure to film it.

Lol. I was lit last night when I made it but sadly I'm serious. Dad was a machinist, worked three jobs to keep food on the table and him and my mom raised 7 successful kids. No mooches and none of us in jail. He successfully invested and was very well off. I use to tell him to spend his money but he said he wanted to leave us something. He wasn't the 'I love you boots' type of dad until the last few years but no one works like he did unless he loved us. Grew up in a less then 1000 square foot house with only 3 bedrooms but never felt like I didn't have everything. Christmas time came and our little living room was loaded with presents. Dad was a great man in my book. I still remember him always cooking Sunday morning breakfast when I was little him cooking and me watching Laura and hardy, the little rascals, and loonie tunes before going to church. I'm going to miss him. When you lose both your parents it kind of feels like life's backstop has been removed from your life. Scary. But I'm successful, make double he did and will be fine. I just want us siblings to be OK after all this.

 

[johnnycakes]

I would not do an auction, with real money or fake. Real money can cause issues with those siblings that simply don't have the funds. Sure, they'll get money in the end, but nothing of sentimental value. This can cause hurt feelings whether they are expressed or not.

Fake money.....do you really want to divide up your family belongings using a method that requires strategy? Seems like a bad road to go down.

I'd advocate for a straight draft.

My condolences Boots.

That can easily be addressed by allowing each sibling to have first pick on ONE item up to $X,XXX in value. If two siblings each want the same thing... it goes to auction and highest bidder wins, then loser gets dibs on one unauctioned item if he/she so chooses.You can't please all the people all the time, though, no matter what.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Sorry to hear.

 

[poopdawg]

My condolences on your dad and his sudden passing

It seems like a draft would work. For reals. Draw numbers out of a hat and then pick one item at a time until everything is gone or nobody cares about what's left.

Best wishes in keeping peace with the siblings. You'll likely see some true colors shine through, both good and bad.

This. Was coming in to post the same thing.

Sorry for your loss. Best of luck with everything.

 

[cstu]

Cage match - winner take all.

 

[AcerFC]

Sorry for your loss boots

 

[AAABatteries]

Have a way to randomly assign an order, like drawing names out of a hat or have 7 quarters with different dates and pick those out of a hat, with the draft going in order of the dates.

Starting with the "winner", each person gets to pick one item they'd like to keep. If someone wants all seven clocks they have to hope the others don't pick any of them. After everyone has picked once, start over again at the beginning and repeat until everything is gone. Serpentine might be more fair if there is a great disparity in the value of items but selling that idea to the others might be kind of dicey.

People pick weird things to fight over after a death so be prepared for that. I have seen some really despicable behavior but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Hopefully your siblings will keep in mind your father's wishes about keeping the peace and it all goes smoothly.

Thanks so much for the idea. What do you think about 5 siblings want one item, so they put their name in a hat. Whoever is drawn gets that item. Is that OK for you?

Sure, and if their name is drawn they can't put their name in for anything else until everyone has an item. Then repeat.Personally, I'd go with an auction format, using monopoly money, plus beer and wine.

I'd also suggest that - at least in the early rounds - everytime someone wins an item they standup and say why the item is significant to them.

Wow. I LOVE the idea of standing up and saying why the item is significant to them. I am already shedding tears thinking about this. Need lots of booze for this. Thank you so very much.

I'm shedding a tear myself. Great idea. Condolences boots

 

[Willie Neslon]

My condolences

 

[gmbacm]

For bigger items "deduct" it from monetary inheritance. Two people want the car? Give it to the one who offers to "pay" the most, then take that amount out of their share of cash and divide it among the remaining siblings.

 

[ShamrockPride]

Pull from a hat. Take 7 items at a time. The person who wins is eliminated for the rest of the current 7 items until the last person is given the last of the 7 items. Then start over with another 7 items. Just process of elimination until everything of worth is picked over.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Seems to me that your Dad named two executors to handle these decisions. Sorry for your loss.

Yes - and the split should be at least roughly equal in value.

ETA: Just a raw "take a turn" deal is going to be a cluster and more likely lead to hard feelings

 

[El Floppo]

Condolences.

I lost my dad suddenly too (8 years ago).

Not sure if it's already mentioned- have you talked to your siblings about how they want to handle this?

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I can't tell if this is a shtick thread or serious, you never know what you are going to get at 3am in the ffa.

If serious, sorry for your loss boots, your dad sounds like a caring man who raised you right. And this auction/draft idea sounds awesome. Be sure to film it.

Lol. I was lit last night when I made it but sadly I'm serious. Dad was a machinist, worked three jobs to keep food on the table and him and my mom raised 7 successful kids. No mooches and none of us in jail. He successfully invested and was very well off. I use to tell him to spend his money but he said he wanted to leave us something. He wasn't the 'I love you boots' type of dad until the last few years but no one works like he did unless he loved us. Grew up in a less then 1000 square foot house with only 3 bedrooms but never felt like I didn't have everything. Christmas time came and our little living room was loaded with presents. Dad was a great man in my book. I still remember him always cooking Sunday morning breakfast when I was little him cooking and me watching Laura and hardy, the little rascals, and loonie tunes before going to church. I'm going to miss him. When you lose both your parents it kind of feels like life's backstop has been removed from your life. Scary. But I'm successful, make double he did and will be fine. I just want us siblings to be OK after all this.

If the others feel about him the way you do, you won't have any problems at all. I like the idea of people saying why they like a particular item. Perhaps a potluck where people bring items made with family recipes or other family favorites would be nice.

My condolences for your loss. My father died last month, so I really feel for you. (I'm writing his obit now.)

 

[BowieMercs]

Draft sounds good. Fighting over the possessions of the deceased is pathetic. I have the flag from my brothers casket (post viet nam cancer) and the crucifix from the hallway of my parents house (7th of 7 kids in an average size catholic family). 3 of us didn't really want anything significant so the other 3 had their own little battle of wills to see who got what.

 

[The Big Guy]

You should give everyone a shot at one top list item that they want and first see if anyone is going after the same item. Other than that, you can do a draft and just rotate turns so everyone gets a fair shot at everything. Hopefully it is easier than you think and goes smoothly in this rough time for you and your family.

 

[Fennis]

Give everyone a grocery cart and 60 seconds like an episode of Supermarket Sweep.

 

[boots11234]

First off, thank you for all the kind words and laughs I have gotten from this thread. We are meeting Tuesday to discuss this type of stuff. Mrs. Rannous, sorry about your loss. I will keep you all posted as to how we decide (if you care to follow along). I am concerned about the draft idea. As someone who first is a FBG I make between 100 and 250K a year (not Chet money but living in MN Im not hurting), where some of my siblings make 3x less then me. So the $$$ just isnt as important to me. I dont want to screw them. I do like the idea of drawing names, and the winner cannot pick again until everyone else has something. It does sound like everyting will be given a value and we will 'pay' that amount from the final total we receive.

On a side note there's already a potential problem. My dad picked two people to do this in 2010. Well about 5 months ago (His health started to go south) he wrote on a napkin which has a witness signature (my dads girlfriend) that he wanted to change who those two people were. The new people consisted of one of the original people and one new person. So now the new person who is not legally recognized as trustee wants the legal person to abdicate. Plus on top of that in the legal document there were alternates listed and the new person wasnt even listed as one of those. What a potential mess. I am so glad it is not my decision as I was listed as number 3 on the legal document. I'll keep you all posted.

Again thanks for all the kind words.

 

[Abraham]

This is why I'm thankful I have but one sibling. I want the second house in the mountains, even though it will likely still require monthly payments. He can have everything else.

 

[boots11234]

This is why I'm thankful I have but one sibling. I want the second house in the mountains, even though it will likely still require monthly payments. He can have everything else.

sounds awesome. But what if he wants the mountain house?

 

[CurlyNight]

This is why I'm thankful I have but one sibling. I want the second house in the mountains, even though it will likely still require monthly payments. He can have everything else.

sounds awesome. But what if he wants the mountain house?

It'll be a race to the top of the mountain. Whoever gets there first locks the other one out.

Ts & Ps Mrs. Rannous. Sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Thanks, guys. I'm an only child, so this stuff doesn't apply to me. But i never could understand what the big deal was. It helps that my family aren't a bunch of Richards.

On the executor thing, just let the lawyer and the court handle it. Keep the family away from that mess.

 

[msommer]

I would not do an auction, with real money or fake. Real money can cause issues with those siblings that simply don't have the funds. Sure, they'll get money in the end, but nothing of sentimental value. This can cause hurt feelings whether they are expressed or not.

Fake money.....do you really want to divide up your family belongings using a method that requires strategy? Seems like a bad road to go down.

I'd advocate for a straight draft.

My condolences Boots.

That can easily be addressed by allowing each sibling to have first pick on ONE item up to $X,XXX in value. If two siblings each want the same thing... it goes to auction and highest bidder wins, then loser gets dibs on one unauctioned item if he/she so chooses.You can't please all the people all the time, though, no matter what.

Using fake money would take away the issue re the ones with less means. On the flip side they could not convert unwanted stuff (or rather stuff others want more) to cash

 

[comfortably numb]

First off, thank you for all the kind words and laughs I have gotten from this thread. We are meeting Tuesday to discuss this type of stuff. Mrs. Rannous, sorry about your loss. I will keep you all posted as to how we decide (if you care to follow along). I am concerned about the draft idea. As someone who first is a FBG I make between 100 and 250K a year (not Chet money but living in MN Im not hurting), where some of my siblings make 3x less then me. So the $$$ just isnt as important to me. I dont want to screw them. I do like the idea of drawing names, and the winner cannot pick again until everyone else has something. It does sound like everyting will be given a value and we will 'pay' that amount from the final total we receive.

On a side note there's already a potential problem. My dad picked two people to do this in 2010. Well about 5 months ago (His health started to go south) he wrote on a napkin which has a witness signature (my dads girlfriend) that he wanted to change who those two people were. The new people consisted of one of the original people and one new person. So now the new person who is not legally recognized as trustee wants the legal person to abdicate. Plus on top of that in the legal document there were alternates listed and the new person wasnt even listed as one of those. What a potential mess. I am so glad it is not my decision as I was listed as number 3 on the legal document. I'll keep you all posted.

Again thanks for all the kind words.

SSSSCCCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You just dropped an M KnIght Shamalanalmadingdong on us

Well this just sounds like it can get real ugly now.

Who is the new person?

Dad's girlfriend?

 

[comfortably numb]

Sorry for and your families loss.

Your dad sounds like good man.

 

[BowieMercs]

Thanks, guys. I'm an only child, so this stuff doesn't apply to me. But i never could understand what the big deal was. It helps that my family aren't a bunch of Richards.

On the executor thing, just let the lawyer and the court handle it. Keep the family away from that mess.

You seem to have mastered the concept already

 

[The Big Guy]

First off, thank you for all the kind words and laughs I have gotten from this thread. We are meeting Tuesday to discuss this type of stuff. Mrs. Rannous, sorry about your loss. I will keep you all posted as to how we decide (if you care to follow along). I am concerned about the draft idea. As someone who first is a FBG I make between 100 and 250K a year (not Chet money but living in MN Im not hurting), where some of my siblings make 3x less then me. So the $$$ just isnt as important to me. I dont want to screw them. I do like the idea of drawing names, and the winner cannot pick again until everyone else has something. It does sound like everyting will be given a value and we will 'pay' that amount from the final total we receive.

On a side note there's already a potential problem. My dad picked two people to do this in 2010. Well about 5 months ago (His health started to go south) he wrote on a napkin which has a witness signature (my dads girlfriend) that he wanted to change who those two people were. The new people consisted of one of the original people and one new person. So now the new person who is not legally recognized as trustee wants the legal person to abdicate. Plus on top of that in the legal document there were alternates listed and the new person wasnt even listed as one of those. What a potential mess. I am so glad it is not my decision as I was listed as number 3 on the legal document. I'll keep you all posted.

Again thanks for all the kind words.

SSSSCCCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You just dropped an M KnIght Shamalanalmadingdong on us

Well this just sounds like it can get real ugly now.

Who is the new person?

Dad's girlfriend?

Yep now it sounds like it is time to let an attorney become the bad guy of the moment and referee this out.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Thanks, guys. I'm an only child, so this stuff doesn't apply to me. But i never could understand what the big deal was. It helps that my family aren't a bunch of Richards.

On the executor thing, just let the lawyer and the court handle it. Keep the family away from that mess.

You seem to have mastered the concept already

It would be truly wonderful to have more family, especially at this time. Alienating them seems completely moronic to me.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

First off, thank you for all the kind words and laughs I have gotten from this thread. We are meeting Tuesday to discuss this type of stuff. Mrs. Rannous, sorry about your loss. I will keep you all posted as to how we decide (if you care to follow along). I am concerned about the draft idea. As someone who first is a FBG I make between 100 and 250K a year (not Chet money but living in MN Im not hurting), where some of my siblings make 3x less then me. So the $$$ just isnt as important to me. I dont want to screw them. I do like the idea of drawing names, and the winner cannot pick again until everyone else has something. It does sound like everyting will be given a value and we will 'pay' that amount from the final total we receive.

On a side note there's already a potential problem. My dad picked two people to do this in 2010. Well about 5 months ago (His health started to go south) he wrote on a napkin which has a witness signature (my dads girlfriend) that he wanted to change who those two people were. The new people consisted of one of the original people and one new person. So now the new person who is not legally recognized as trustee wants the legal person to abdicate. Plus on top of that in the legal document there were alternates listed and the new person wasnt even listed as one of those. What a potential mess. I am so glad it is not my decision as I was listed as number 3 on the legal document. I'll keep you all posted.

Again thanks for all the kind words.

SSSSCCCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You just dropped an M KnIght Shamalanalmadingdong on us

Well this just sounds like it can get real ugly now.

Who is the new person?

Dad's girlfriend?

Yep now it sounds like it is time to let an attorney become the bad guy of the moment and referee this out.

If its dad's new girlfriend - #### her. She isn't family and she is new. Napkin based late will change that benefits her? Right. Was it properly witnessed - hell no. Send her ### packing.