Rejected Frank Semyon Lines (1 Viewer)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

"...you keep talking like I'm going to listen this time. I get it but my lack of an answer is still going to be there. You're like one of those people at the corner of walk and don't walk who keep pushing the little button to make the signal change. You think you're the one in control but you're really just a mook standing on a corner, pushing a dead button. Right now my mind is a dead button. Stop pushing, Champ."

 

[johnnycakes]

"...you keep talking like I'm going to listen this time. I get it but my lack of an answer is still going to be there. You're like one of those people at the corner of walk and don't walk who keep pushing the little button to make the signal change. You think you're the one in control but you're really just a mook standing on a corner, pushing a dead button. Right now my mind is a dead button. Stop pushing, Champ."

I think I can make use of that line IRL.

 

[(HULK)]

You wound me, friend. Its like you've given me epilepsy of the soul

 

[johnnycakes]

Frank Semyon: You don't direct me, Khe Sanh motherf*****.
Ernst Bodine: I'm Chinese.
Frank Semyon: Then, go stand in front of a ####in' tank.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

sometimes when you look at me I feel like my shirt is on inside out and backwards...and the Garanimals tag with the blue giraffe is sticking and waving like a big loser flag...

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Don't you take one more step... you put that right leg in and I'm going to turn you all around. That's what its all about, baby.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

You push me again and I'm gonna pop... and baby this weasel is rabid.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

the world is filled with two sorts of people. And one of 'em aint me.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

This guy... he doesn't listen. Its like he's got pancreatic cancer of the brain.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

all this talk. it's like I woke up one day with a sump pump in my soul.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

"...you keep talking like I'm going to listen this time. I get it but my lack of an answer is still going to be there. You're like one of those people at the corner of walk and don't walk who keep pushing the little button to make the signal change. You think you're the one in control but you're really just a mook standing on a corner, pushing a dead button. Right now my mind is a dead button. Stop pushing, Champ."

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[shadyridr]

I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win!

 

[Gr00vus]

sometimes when you look at me I feel like my shirt is on inside out and backwards...and the Garanimals tag with the blue giraffe is sticking and waving like a big loser flag...

 

[Vanilla Guerrilla]

"Here's what I'm gonna ask of ya, turns out were gonna be spending the night in NY, so it worked out well for all of us. I want you to take it back to the business class. I want you to round up a couple of honies. At our hotel room were gonna have kind of a pool party. The California gangsta style, you know what I mean, kick ### pool party thing."

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

The other day, that thing you did. I hurt. Like I stubbed my toe on a rock of ingratitude.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

The other day, that thing you did. I hurt. Like I stubbed my toe on a rock of ingratitude.

 

[Fennis]

Is Mary Tyler Moore on the boob tube tonight?

 

[Soulfly3]

Ever hear of the kid who cried wolf, Ray? I'm the wolf, but nobody's crying for me. I'm the one who's howling, and I'm howling at the moon. But Apollo 11 hasn't even taken off yet.

(not mine, but a gem.)

 

[Plorfu]

That's a pretty fancy gun you got there, Chan. Is it new? Have you fired it yet? Hate to think that you've mistaken me for a practice target on the shooting range. I'm just saying - you better hope that shiny little thing works, because I'm no clay pigeon.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You ever watch someone make balloon animals? These guys train for years and years to perfect their craft. They take lessons, read books, watch videos, and buy special balloons. Then you know what happens, mon ami? They get hired to work some Jew-kid's bar mitzvah in Encino...they spend 10 minutes making a perfect replica of Excalibur, and then some 10 year old pisher takes it and sticks between his legs and yells 'hello ladies'.

I'm not going to sit here and let you turn my poker room into David Turteltaub's balloon crank..

 

[John Bender]

I'm not some turkey club you can use to get mayo out of whenever you please. I have layers of sensitivity: bacon......bread....lettuce....sometimes roasted red peppers. No one, including you, is going to take me for the mayo dispenser of gullibility again.

 

[Fennis]

Anyone else want Wendy's for dinner?

 

[Ilov80s]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

 

[Good Posting Judge]

"Dad got me a Nintendo. Christmas, 1986. Maybe it fell off the back of a truck, I dunno. I played Super Mario Bros. every day after school, day after day. Until one day I go to school, and the kids tell me "Do you take the warps? How do you not know about the warps?" That is when the beatings began. Fists. Hundreds of 'em, raining down, blackening out the sky. I walked home that day, broken, but promising myself through the blood and tears that I would fix myself. And I got home and I turned on my Nintendo. And I found those ####### warp tunnels, and I warped everywhere. I warped out of that basement, I warped out of my broken home, I warped out of Chicago.

Only now it feels like I've pressed down on the green tunnel, and I'm warping, but I don't know which level I'm going to come out at. If I ever do come out."

 

[Good Posting Judge]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

Oh weird, Malloy just transported something from Reddit over here.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

You ever watch someone make balloon animals? These guys train for years and years to perfect their craft. They take lessons, read books, watch videos, and buy special balloons. Then you know what happens, mon ami? They get hired to work some Jew-kid's bar mitzvah in Encino...they spend 10 minutes making a perfect replica of Excalibur, and then some 10 year old pisher takes it and sticks between his legs and yells 'hello ladies'.

I'm not going to sit here and let you turn my poker room into David Turteltaub's balloon crank..

holy ####

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

What's the sub?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

Oh weird, Malloy just transported something from Reddit over here.

100% true. I Had no idea this was a thing on reddit. I'll fully admit when I yank something from over there.

I usually don't subscribe to TV show subreddits because they tend to be almost as bad as the threads we have here.

 

[shadyridr]

This thread

 

[Good Posting Judge]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

Oh weird, Malloy just transported something from Reddit over here.

100% true. I Had no idea this was a thing on reddit. I'll fully admit when I yank something from over there.

I usually don't subscribe to TV show subreddits because they tend to be almost as bad as the threads we have here.

I went over to the True Detective reddit and they are waaaaaay into this show, still.

 

[Plorfu]

Ever thought you had a brilliant idea, Bobby? I did once. I was going to make a score, a big one. But I get to the place and there's already a subreddit making away with the prize. I tell ya, Johnny, I never wanted to X out of my life as badly as I did right there. Let that be a lesson to you, Mikey - Always do a Google search on your life before taking that next step.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

Oh weird, Malloy just transported something from Reddit over here.

100% true. I Had no idea this was a thing on reddit. I'll fully admit when I yank something from over there.

I usually don't subscribe to TV show subreddits because they tend to be almost as bad as the threads we have here.

I went over to the True Detective reddit and they are waaaaaay into this show, still.

All the TV subs are like that. Sometimes it is pretty scary. The SoA sub was hilarious...and not in a good way.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

Oh weird, Malloy just transported something from Reddit over here.

100% true. I Had no idea this was a thing on reddit. I'll fully admit when I yank something from over there.

I usually don't subscribe to TV show subreddits because they tend to be almost as bad as the threads we have here.

I went over to the True Detective reddit and they are waaaaaay into this show, still.

All the TV subs are like that. Sometimes it is pretty scary. The SoA sub was hilarious...and not in a good way.

That Ed Sheeran dude is going to be a reoccurring character on Sutter's GOT knockoff. Not making this up.

 

[Ilov80s]

There a million of these on Reddit, been a bit of a gag on there for a few weeks.

"Listen here paisan, you can't just toss me around and send me out the door in 5 minutes like some cheap pizza pie. I've got a thin crust and you've gone and hurt my feelings so now it's my turn to dish deep."

What's the sub?

Not sure, I saw a link on Twitter 2 weeks ago. There is this which is the same idea, but not the one I first saw. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueDetective/comments/3e9k70/season_2_make_up_your_most_ridiculous_vince/

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Listen up, palamino. This business is like the Indy 500, but let me tell you something, that checkered flag you've been scratching and clawing for all your life...it's never gonna be there. You just keep the pedal to the metal until that engine of yours just can't take it anymore.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

 

[nirad3]

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

There's a joke here, somewhere...

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

You know they don't make lingerie, right?

 

[nirad3]

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

There's a joke here, somewhere...

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

You know they don't make lingerie, right?

Ah, there it is.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

There's a joke here, somewhere...

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

You know they don't make lingerie, right?

Ah, there it is.

This is fun, but I really wish I could've worked Garanimals in there somehow.

You know they don't make lingerie, right?

Lingerie is in the eye of the beholder, GB.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

"Dad got me a Nintendo. Christmas, 1986. Maybe it fell off the back of a truck, I dunno. I played Super Mario Bros. every day after school, day after day. Until one day I go to school, and the kids tell me "Do you take the warps? How do you not know about the warps?" That is when the beatings began. Fists. Hundreds of 'em, raining down, blackening out the sky. I walked home that day, broken, but promising myself through the blood and tears that I would fix myself. And I got home and I turned on my Nintendo. And I found those ####### warp tunnels, and I warped everywhere. I warped out of that basement, I warped out of my broken home, I warped out of Chicago.

Only now it feels like I've pressed down on the green tunnel, and I'm warping, but I don't know which level I'm going to come out at. If I ever do come out."

 

[Rohn Jambo]

"Sometimes your worst lines are your best lines."

See? It is not easy coming up with ####### gems like this week after week.

 

[John Bender]

"Dad got me a Nintendo. Christmas, 1986. Maybe it fell off the back of a truck, I dunno. I played Super Mario Bros. every day after school, day after day. Until one day I go to school, and the kids tell me "Do you take the warps? How do you not know about the warps?" That is when the beatings began. Fists. Hundreds of 'em, raining down, blackening out the sky. I walked home that day, broken, but promising myself through the blood and tears that I would fix myself. And I got home and I turned on my Nintendo. And I found those ####### warp tunnels, and I warped everywhere. I warped out of that basement, I warped out of my broken home, I warped out of Chicago.

Only now it feels like I've pressed down on the green tunnel, and I'm warping, but I don't know which level I'm going to come out at. If I ever do come out."

rules

 

[Todd Andrews]

I didnt want to have to do it like this, say it like this . . . but it needs to be said: youve cockblocked my soul.

 

[tdoss]

You think you know me...know what I'm about and maybe even what I'll do next, but let me tell you something, Chester...I'm like the laundry mat down on 3rd and Grand. No one wants to go there...but at some point in your life you're gonna end up there. You're gonna end up there on a Sunday, looking like a schmuck with a pocket full of quarters and an armload of your soiled undergarments. You're gonna look around and see you're the only guy there who has even the remotest idea of how to speak English. You're gonna think yourself lucky to find a machine. You're gonna load that machine...you're gonna pour in your detergent and put the coins in the slot...one after another. You'll slam the slot forward and hear it roar to life. The water is gonna fill up the drum and you'll go find a comfy seat. You'll sit and watch the telenovela on the TV that's playing way too loudly for this small space. You'll admire the rack on the overwrought actress as she cries while watching her lover die in her arms. You'll start to wonder if anyone will ever love you that way. Will anyone cry at your deathbed? You're awakened from your personal introspection by two kids fighting over who's turn it is to play with the matchbox car. The mother too busy with folding to chaperone this battle of wills...continues to whittle down the mountain of clothes in front of her. Her face is stern and you can tell she's had it hard for so long that the worry lines in her forehead are permanent. Her hands are rough and strong. You wonder if she's ever had a relaxing day in her whole life. Still, despite all this hardness...you recognize she's got a nice, feminine shape underneath her ratty dress. You purposefully decide to stop objectifying her and turn your attention elsewhere. There's graffiti on the bench you're sitting on but for the life of you...you can't seem to read it. It's always frustrated you how you can't seem to read this jumbled mess of lettering on any of the walls locally. You can't stand that someone is blatantly saying something behind your back...right in your face. You notice a bullet hole in the window behind you. You feel the familiar cone shaped fracture in its surface with your finger and imagine if it were to have happened while you were sitting there...it would've hit you in your lower back. Would it have paralyzed you? Would you be able to live like that? How would you ever have sex again? The thought stones you back to reality. You check on your laundry and find the machine simply filled with water...but it ain't turning, Chester. Everyone who comes here knows not to use that machine...but you're not from around here, are ya guy? You see, Chester...I'm that laundry mat. You thought you knew me...you thought you knew what I was about...but look at you now...standing there like some jerkoff with a pile of dirty, sopping wet chonies wondering what to do next. Go ahead Chester...put some more coins in another machine. Roll the dice...see how your luck runs with me.

 

[bushdocda]

My name should have been on those contracts but Casper the friendly #### whored me out of my money like I was mollied on a whorebus.

#kisseswifeonforehead

 

[Dan Lambskin]

In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the ####in' rake.

 

[Otis]

It's like I'm out here in the rain trying to hail a cab, but the big guy upstairs doesn't have that little light on, and so he just keeps passing me by. One of these days that light's gonna be on, but until then, I'll just be standing out here, getting wet.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

"If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen"

 

[McGarnicle]

I remember this one floozy who used to hang out at the club. Little Mexican number...Lupe or Consuela or some ####. Anyway one night we're dancing and she's grinding up on me, and I'm really into this chick. Suddenly she looks up at me with those big brown eyes, and says to me "You're not going to break my heart are you Frank?", and I start thinking about all the others...Maria, Juanita, Tostada, probably a bunch more. Why can't these Mexican broads know when it's time to break it off? I never said we were getting married. But I'm standing there and those eyes are like big cups of cafe con leche, and I just completely lose my boner. It's like I had writer's block of the penis.