RETURNING THE RAIDERS TO GLORY (1 Viewer)

[Portis 26]

Anyway, COMMISHOLIO will be one for later... this CB is going to be PEDRO FLUFHED!Welcome to the team, PEDRO!

 

[Portis 26]

FREE AGENCY:We have some $$$ to spend following our salary cap moves earlier.

 

[snowmonkey501]

COMMISH OLIO.

Do you have perhaps a first name you could recommend - something COMMISHOLIO? That could work?

i think COMMIS HOLIO would be ok

 

[Portis 26]

SIGNED:QB DONOVAN McNABB (87 overall) - $40m/7 years.McNabb is approaching retirement and just wants a ring or two, even as a backup. No longer need we fear injury to MAGNUM with this talent on our bench.

 

[Portis 26]

SIGNED:CB SAMARI ROLLE (93 overall) - $38m/7 years.ROLLE is nearing the end, but can still offer us a couple productive years, even only as a nickelback. Unfortunately this means TANNER BOYLE will have to wait even longer for his chance for glory....

 

[snowmonkey501]

SIGNED:

QB DONOVAN McNABB (87 overall) - $40m/7 years.

McNabb is approaching retirement and just wants a ring or two, even as a backup. No longer need we fear injury to MAGNUM with SNOW MONKEY anchoring the OL.

FIXED

 

[Portis 26]

SIGNEDE GRANT WISTROM (94 overall - $38m/7 years)Another oldie but goldie - the other teams tend not to re-sign veterans nearing the end allowing us to snap them up - the arrival of WISTROM means the end, finally, for over-achieving KENYON COLEMAN, who despite being a raw youngster when we took over the Raiders nevertheless ended up a starter on four SUPER BOWL teams.

 

[Portis 26]

SIGNED:WR PEERLESS PRICE (85 overall - $30m/7 years)Peerless will be a very solid addition to our WR corps, where D-JAX is now beginning to decline.

 

[Portis 26]

SIGNED:HB LAMONT JORDAN (66 overall - $1m/1 year)Couldn't resist this one - art imitating life.JORDAN will backup EDGE next year - we needed a backup with the retirement of FRED TAYLOR.

 

[Portis 26]

No longer need we fear injury to MAGNUM with SNOW MONKEY anchoring the OL.

You'll get your chance, SNOW MONKEY! Patience, patience! KEVIN MAWAE is nearing the end and then the job is yours!

 

[Portis 26]

CUT:Twan RogersDerrick WigginsCouple of low-grade backups cut to make room for the new FAs.

 

[Mad Cow]

SIGNED:

CB SAMARI ROLLE (93 overall) - $38m/7 years.

ROLLE is nearing the end, but can still offer us a couple productive years, even only as a nickelback. Unfortunately this means TANNER BOYLE will have to wait even longer for his chance for glory....

It's because I'm white, right?

:gang:

 

[Portis 26]

It's because I'm white, right?

Not in this game you're not.

 

[Portis 26]

RENEGOTIATED:Kenyon Coleman (2.5/1)We buy out Coleman's contract so he won't be a burden in the future...

 

[Portis 26]

PRE-SEASON:Snow Monkey +1 to 81Tanner Boyle +1 to 81Pedro Flufhed +1 to 73Fine improvement from our young cadre of future stars... SNOW MONKEY and TANNER BOYLE are already good enough to start.

 

[Randall Magnum]

It's because I'm white, right?

Not in this game you're not.

Roscoe Tanner is my slave name.

We call you Roscoe X in the locker room.

 

[Mad Cow]

It's because I'm white, right?

Not in this game you're not.

Roscoe Tanner is my slave name.

We call you Roscoe X in the locker room.

I call him ##### in the lockerroom.

 

[snowmonkey501]

PRE-SEASON:

Snow Monkey +1 to 81

Tanner Boyle +1 to 81

Pedro Flufhed +1 to 73

Fine improvement from our young cadre of future stars... SNOW MONKEY and TANNER BOYLE are already good enough to start.

and yet we are not...It must be the whole SB fiasco at o'farrells

 

[Portis 26]

It must be the whole SB fiasco at o'farrells

That's already entered Raider folklore as a legend. Maybe that fifth bottle of Cristal was a bad idea.

 

[snowmonkey501]

It must be the whole SB fiasco at o'farrells

That's already entered Raider folklore as a legend. Maybe that fifth bottle of Cristal was a bad idea.

ya but I had a point to prove...

 

[Portis 26]

Well, Year Eight is going to be a fascinating year for the RAIDERS.Some long-term trends are becoming apparent. The WR axis of JERRY PORTER-DARRELL JACKSON that has served the RAIDERS so well throughout the dynasty is nearing the end. How we go about replacing that dynamic duo will determine the whole future of the dynasty.Similarly, the looming retirement of CHARLES WOODSON, BRIAN KELLY and SAMARI ROLLE means that there's going to be a gaping hole at CB that TANNER BOYLE and PEDRO FLUFHED will have to fill.On the offensive line, several key figures are also approaching the end. KEVIN MAWAE will shortly be replaced by SNOW MONKEY. But LG FRANK MIDDLETON is almost done and JONATHAN OGDEN isn't that far away either. We will have to replace those two through the draft.And at HB, EDGE is a couple of years from the end. We will have to somehow find a dynamic young HB to carry the franchise.So although with four titles in the last five years, it appears as though the RAIDERS are at the height of their powers, we are going to be going through a challenging period over the next few years.At least at QB we're set with RANDALL MAGNUM. His heroics are now the stuff of legend, and he's got many years left at the height of his powers.

 

[Portis 26]

I think it goes without saying that BOSS HOGG will have to be the next LG for the RAIDERS!

 

[Portis 26]

And UNTATEVE will have to play too - but under what name?

 

[boss hogg]

I think it goes without saying that BOSS HOGG will have to be the next LG for the RAIDERS!

Ha Ha ! :rotflmao: I would be honored as long as the price is right...

 

[snowmonkey501]

I think it goes without saying that BOSS HOGG will have to be the next LG for the RAIDERS!

Ha Ha ! :rotflmao: I would be honored as long as the price is right...

undrafted rookies who display this sort of attitude will most surely pay a price come training camp...

 

[Portis 26]

undrafted rookies who display this sort of attitude will most surely pay a price come training camp...

I guarantee it'll be a lot worse than the usual getting taped to a tree and having to sing a fight song.

 

[snowmonkey501]

undrafted rookies who display this sort of attitude will most surely pay a price come training camp...

I guarantee it'll be a lot worse than the usual getting taped to a tree and having to sing a fight song.

i can guaranDAMNtee that did I hear you say 7x7s???

 

[Portis 26]

Even Michael Irvin would be shocked by what's going to happen.

 

[snowmonkey501]

Even Michael Irvin would be shocked by what's going to happen.

just as long as I get to dole some out....

 

[Portis 26]

just as long as I get to dole some out....

A borderline psycho with extreme violence and mutilation fantasies and a taste for hard drugs, strong drink and loose women. Just the kind of fellow we need on the Raiders line.

 

[untateve]

And UNTATEVE will have to play too - but under what name?

Okay, I am a geek. A 42-year-old man shouldn't be looking forward to being part of a football video game dynasty. But I am. Is it possible to break the name up into unta teve?

 

[snowmonkey501]

just as long as I get to dole some out....

A borderline psycho with extreme violence and mutilation fantasies and a taste for hard drugs, strong drink and loose women. Just the kind of fellow we need on the Raiders line.

and a strength of 98

 

[Portis 26]

Is it possible to break the name up into unta teve?

We need a distinctive name but composed of real words. The fans have to chant it, after all. What about incorporating Florida in there? Florida-something or something-Florida?

 

[untateve]

Is it possible to break the name up into unta teve?

We need a distinctive name but composed of real words. The fans have to chant it, after all. What about incorporating Florida in there? Florida-something or something-Florida?

well...there's always Florida Gator

 

[Portis 26]

well...there's always Florida Gator

Well, that has a certain ring to it. Any idea which position you'd like to play, Gator? LT could be one for the future, JONATHAN OGDEN can't go on forever.

 

[untateve]

well...there's always Florida Gator

Well, that has a certain ring to it. Any idea which position you'd like to play, Gator? LT could be one for the future, JONATHAN OGDEN can't go on forever.

I will play where ever needed. I'm not about personal glory...I'm about the team.

 

[Portis 26]

I will play where ever needed. I'm not about personal glory...I'm about the team.

That's the attitude we need on this team. We've got too many overpaid superstars who'd rather be bathing in a champagne-filled jacuzzi with the Swedish bikini team than out practicing hard in the snow and the mud.

 

[snowmonkey501]

I will play where ever needed. I'm not about personal glory...I'm about the team.

That's the attitude we need on this team. We've got too many overpaid superstars who'd rather be bathing in a champagne-filled jacuzzi with the Swedish bikini team than out practicing hard in the snow and the mud.

NTTAWWT

 

[Portis 26]

Gentlemen, I'm afraid the RAIDERS DYNASTY will be out of action for the next few weeks. Much as I would love to devote my entire existence to the adventures of RANDALL MAGNUM & Co, the demands of Clan Portis are such that there will have to be a temporary pause.But never fear - the RAIDERS will RETURN! Thank you all so much for your involvement, I really appreciated it.

 

[snowmonkey501]

i guess i can work on my mvp05 team...

 

[Portis 26]

i guess i can work on my mvp05 team...

Thus speaks a Raiders legend in the making.

 

[Polish Hammer]

RE-NAMED:

We have a superb reserve MLB named GLEN JONES, who has been getting better and better since he was drafted several years ago.

He has an out-of-this-world speed of 95, which is freakish for a LB.

It may well be time he has a shot at a starting job, since we're trying to build a team of physical freaks and speed merchants.

Given that a guy originally pencilled in as a reserve is now about to assume a big role, we're going to give him a proper name.

POLISH HAMMER is a loyal reader of this thread and it's a perfect name for a MLB.

Our super-fast MLB is hereby re-named POLISH HAMMER!

Welcome to the team, HAMMER!

I was at corporate training last week, and missed this entire turn of events. It is my sincere honor to be a cog in the middle of this defense. I hope that my unheard-of speed can be a disruptive force and allow me to overcompensate for any over-playing of the ball that may occur due to the fact that I come from the land of Potato Vodka. Rest assured, when the game is on the line, I will always be ready to DROP THE HAMMER! Can I get a peek at the rest of my stats so I know what type of MLB I might be?

 

[Portis 26]

Can I get a peek at the rest of my stats so I know what type of MLB I might be?

Certainly, when the RAIDERS return from their mini-break and we continue the sage of their RETURN TO GLORY!

 

[Portis 26]

I am DELIGHTED to announce that the RAIDERS DYNASTY is about to get underway again!

 

[flufhed]

I am DELIGHTED to announce that the RAIDERS DYNASTY is about to get underway again!

I assume we will be drafting the Polish Hammer soon?

 

[Portis 26]

I assume we will be drafting the Polish Hammer soon?

He's already on the roster... which shall be posted shortly, along with his stats.Your stats, of course, include the following:SPEED 99ACCELERATION 99Which will go very nicely in our team of physical freaks with cartoon-like superhuman abilities.

 

[Portis 26]

YEAR EIGHT ROSTER:QBRandall Magnum (6) 99Donovan McNabb (11) 87Ralph Whitfield (6) 70HBEdgerrin James (11) 85Lamont Jordan (9) 66Damien Hixon (2) 63FBB.J. Askew (7) 80WR Jerry Porter (10) 97Darrell Jackson (10) 91Quincy Morgan (9) 86Peerless Price (11) 85Todd Pinkston (10) 73R.B. Fisk (6) 64TETeyo Johnson (7) 97Doug Jolley (8) 83Edward Parker (2) 49LTJonathan Ogden (14) 96Russell Patton (4) 70LGFrank Middleton (13) 92Marquis Poole (1) 65CKevin Mawae (16) 96Snow Monkey (1) 81RGMo Collins (12) 93Neil Spires (2) 68RTMike Williams (8) 96Darrien Black ® 69DEKenyon Coleman (8) 80Benji Largent (2) 57DEGrant Wistrom (12) 94Mad Cow (3) 88DTRod Coleman (11) 94Love Muscle (5) 91Bryce Rose ® 65LOLBOutside Contain (6) 91Shaun Perkins (1) 70MLBNapoleon Harris (8) 97Polish Hammer (3) 83ROLB Eric Barton (11) 96Anthony Crawford (1) 65CBCharles Woodson (12) 95Phillip Buchanon (8) 93Samari Rolle (12) 93Brian Kelly (12) 90Chris Cash (8) 85Tanner Boyle (2) 81Pedro Flufhed ® 73FSSilverback Surfer (4) 92Terrell Riggs (3) 71SSTank Williams (8) 96Greg Woods (1) 67KS. Janikowski (10) 98PShane Lechler (10) 97

 

[Portis 26]

POLISH HAMMER'S STATS:Our soon to be starting LB....:SPEED 95STRENGTH 73AWARENESS 78AGILITY 77ACCELERATE 85TACKLING 88STAMINA 50INJURY 81TOUGHNESS 94There are some others but these are the key ones.

 

[Portis 26]

Some thoughts about our Year 8 roster:We have unparalleled depth at CB - FOUR CBs ranked over 90 - Woodson, Buchanon, Rolle and Kelly. It's a very elderly CB corps, but a great one.We also have great depth at WR - after Porter and D-Jax we also have Morgan and Price who are are both ranked 85+ and could start for other teams. It's also a very old WR corps, but a very strong one.Randall Magnum at last has a great backup in Donovan McNabb.Our offensive line is getting EXTREMELY old - Kevin Mawae is 39, Jonathan Ogden is 36 and Frank Middleton is 35. Young Snow Monkey is the only great young player we have ready to take over.We at last have a true rush end in Grant Wistrom.

 

[snowmonkey501]

I am looking forward to our continued dominance