Roommate stealing my towels to wipe his bum (1 Viewer)

[Galileo]

I swear to god I would take a baseball bat to this POS.  

I had a roommate once when I was in my early 20s (graduated college - wasn't friends with the guy), he was the hairiest mf I have ever seen.  

He continued to NOT clean the hair out of the sink or bathtub.  I was like living with an obnoxious Sasquatch.  He had a '67 Road Runner that didn't run that took up the garage (I got the bigger bedroom). 

The hair made me gag everytime I went into the bathroom. 

I begged and pleaded with the guy.  He said "what are ya gonna do about it?" 

I poured sugar in his ####in' gas tank.   

ETA:  I'm not sorry to this day.   

Sugar in the tank of a car that didn't run?  You sure showed him...   

 

[JohnnyU]

If it's your house tell him the next time he does it you will give him 30 days notice to move out.   If it's a rental for both of you, hide your towels and find another place when your lease is up and get rid of him as a roommate. 

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Sugar in the tank of a car that didn't run?  You sure showed him...   

overkill. 

 

[Don't Toews Me]

Glue the bathroom door shut.

Put laxatives in his coffee.

 

[Zow]

Rear end.  Homeless people can generally be great roommates until rent is due. People who crap on your belongings are terrible all the time. 

But if they're your roommate, how can they possibly be homeless??

 

[Henry Ford]

But if they're your roommate, how can they possibly be homeless??

Can be.  Once they are brought into the home.  

"Music majors can be good law students."

"Lawyers can be beaten to death by people they meet on the internet."

 

[jon_mx]

I'd be keeping and hanging all my towels in my bedroom and keep a loaded weapon just in case.  

 

[Zow]

Can be.  Once they are brought into the home.  

"Music majors can be good law students."

"Lawyers can be beaten to death by people they meet on the internet."

But in your examples the subject isn't a conditional phrase.  A music major will always be a music major, even if she gets a JD.  A lawyer will still be a lawyer (albeit a dead one) even if she gets beaten to death by somebody she met on the internet. 

Once a homeless person is brought into the home the condition ceases by definition.   

 

[Henry Ford]

But in your examples the subject isn't a conditional phrase.  A music major will always be a music major, even if she gets a JD.  A lawyer will still be a lawyer (albeit a dead one) even if she gets beaten to death by somebody she met on the internet. 

Once a homeless person is brought into the home the condition ceases by definition.   

Licensed lawyers can be stripped of their licenses before being beaten to death by someone they meet on the internet.

 

[Zow]

Licensed lawyers can be stripped of their licenses before being beaten to death by someone they meet on the internet.

Sure.  In which case then they're just some random person getting beat. 

 

[Henry Ford]

Sure.  In which case then they're just some random person getting beat. 

And yet the sentence makes sense.  Especially the part about a lawyer being beaten by someone he met on the internet.

 

[Zow]

And yet the sentence makes sense.  Especially the part about a lawyer being beaten by someone he met on the internet.

I'm not worried.  You wouldn't even add me to linkedin. 

 

[Henry Ford]

I'm not worried.  You wouldn't even add me to linkedin. 

Of course not.  You think I want to screw up my LinkedIn Network (which includes the Mooch) by adding some guy who's been beaten to death by someone he met on the internet?

 

[Zow]

Of course not.  You think I want to screw up my LinkedIn Network (which includes the Mooch) by adding some guy who's been beaten to death by someone he met on the internet?

Wait, you're depriving me of the opportunity to be one connection away from the Mooch???

 

[Henry Ford]

Wait, you're depriving me of the opportunity to be one connection away from the Mooch???

Oh, God no.  I'm not that close.  He's just a peripheral connection.  krista has him as a 2nd connection, she must have an in.

 

[Dentist]

Get the person a massive supply of their own hand towels.

These are what i personally use because toilet paper is worthless.  I have a pack at work and at home

https://www.amazon.com/12-12-Inch-Set-24-White/dp/B00UGIUZO2/ref=br_lf_m_w9mec9b3tyqq79j_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&s=home-garden&th=1

 

[AAABatteries]

Get the person a massive supply of their own hand towels.

These are what i personally use because toilet paper is worthless.  I have a pack at work and at home

https://www.amazon.com/12-12-Inch-Set-24-White/dp/B00UGIUZO2/ref=br_lf_m_w9mec9b3tyqq79j_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&s=home-garden&th=1

That’s a lot of investable dumpable dollars fecal matter you are leaving on the table washcloth.

 

[Chaka]

Get the person a massive supply of their own hand towels.

These are what i personally use because toilet paper is worthless.  I have a pack at work and at home

https://www.amazon.com/12-12-Inch-Set-24-White/dp/B00UGIUZO2/ref=br_lf_m_w9mec9b3tyqq79j_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&s=home-garden&th=1

Wait, you use terrycloth towels to wipe your ###? What do you do with them when you're done? Hang them on the TP holder and use the other side next time? Toss them in the trash bin in the bathroom? Take them to the outside trash? Use one of those diaper genie things? Do you wash and reuse them? Just throw them in the hamper and leave them until laundry day? 

I'm all for reusable items and sustainability and what not but...huh?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

 What should I do? 

Stop saying “bum” unless you’re a 9 year old English boy.

 

[Rodrigo Duterte]

  Every time I see the thread it's disturbing.

 

[Dentist]

Wait, you use terrycloth towels to wipe your ###? What do you do with them when you're done? Hang them on the TP holder and use the other side next time? Toss them in the trash bin in the bathroom? Take them to the outside trash? Use one of those diaper genie things? Do you wash and reuse them? Just throw them in the hamper and leave them until laundry day? 

I'm all for reusable items and sustainability and what not but...huh?

Outdoor trash

 

[Chaka]

What in the wide, wide world of sports is a'goin' on here?

 

[NotSmart]

What in the wide, wide world of sports is a'goin' on here?

Bum fights.

 

[gbill2004]

Take a dump in his mouth.

Fixed it for ya 

 

[Ignoramus]

Get the person a massive supply of their own hand towels.

These are what i personally use because toilet paper is worthless.  I have a pack at work and at home

https://www.amazon.com/12-12-Inch-Set-24-White/dp/B00UGIUZO2/ref=br_lf_m_w9mec9b3tyqq79j_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&s=home-garden&th=1

We use clothe diapers and cloth wipes. We got these new warmers and they are absolutely incredible. Get one of these and you and your roommate will live happily ever after.

Prince Lionheart Warmies Wipes Warmer https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001QIN6ME/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_qWudBbCW097N8

$15 for a 24 pack of wash cloths on Amazon. Buy a color that won't be confused with yours and give them to him. If he uses yours again...

You nancies suggesting he buy the guy presents.