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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter RokNRole
- Start date
Conanthecontrarian
Footballguy
Okay. Cool, I get it now. Rok gets to attack me, his post gets deleted and I get slammed for retailating. I express outrage at what he did, he acts like the innocent victim and this thread keeps going. Got it. the thread is 80 pages long filled with violations of Joe's Manifesto and it keeps rolling. Makes sense.
El Floppo
Footballguy
This is part of why I stopped posting in here. Rudeness aside- I skip over all that BS from rok and his antagonists- I spent a bit of time, thought and personal exposure posting advice, but rok only seems to want to respond to the antagonists in order to vent his anger. Once again, feels like my (valuable) time wasted. So, because of all of that, I'm back out. Gl to all of you.
Conanthecontrarian
Footballguy
"Maybe"? Really. Did you read what he posted?
If someone said that to my face, they wouldn't make it to the second sentence.
DropKick
Footballguy
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The fact that his post was selected over yours for deletion wasn't intended as a slight to you. But yes, retaliating in outrage is a problem I'm asking each of you to refrain from. Neither of you is innocent, though you are both victims. Thanks for understanding.
Last edited by a moderator:
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
Really??
This reminds me of when i visit my 4 and 5 year old nephews.
It is always....."He hit me...He hit me!!"
Me: "Then just stop going over by him and he won't do that,"
Two minutes later child is right back over there "He is hitting me again!!"
Conanthecontrarian
Footballguy
I understand my mistake. I didn't blame my posts on the fact I'm an alcoholic. That just explains them away and I can post whatever I like. I'll just cancel my subscription and move on.
DropKick
Footballguy
Conanthecontrarian
Footballguy
Right. Because of course the kid is standing next to his brother, so he deserves to get hit. Don't deal with the kid doing the hitting and teach him that's wrong. Teach the one that is getting hit,that by standing by his brother, he's asking for it. That makes perfect sense.Really??
This reminds me of when i visit my 4 and 5 year old nephews.
It is always....."He hit me...He hit me!!"
Me: "Then just stop going over by him and he won't do that,"
Two minutes later child is right back over there "He is hitting me again!!"
Conanthecontrarian
Footballguy
Yeah, sorry to disappoint you. Its obvious Im the problem here. Sometimes i get tired of taking crap and I give it back. #imonlyhuman
Dedfin
Footballguy
I'm serious. Buy 3 things: alcohol, cigarettes, and a typewriter. That's all you need man. Go to it.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Dedfin
Footballguy
I gave him some advice. The best advice (imo) he will ever get on these boards and following it would empower him for the rest of his life, but he remains feral. I think he's all fishing.
@Conanthecontrarian Location:looking for FFA allies
Nice
Dedfin
Footballguy
Dedfin
Footballguy
KCitons
Footballguy
Here's how I see it. The Internet is the world, the FBG boards are your state, the FFA is a city, and each thread is a neighborhood. Threads are not owned by someone the way they would own a house. If they were then there would be a way for the OP to lock the thread and only allow authorized visitors entry.
Since the threads are like a neighborhood, we are more likely to help our neighbors. We don't generally look outside our own city or state in real life unless there is major catastrophe. A few people have posted about the good things the FFA has done. In similar manner, when you have someone that chooses to spit on the social norm in your neighborhood the other neighbors tend to take offense to the situation. Some people may try to give a suggestion or two about behavior (keep the music down, do you mind not fixing your car at 3am, etc) Most logical people will oblige and apologize for any disturbance they caused. Should the neighbor instead tell them all to pound sand, and continues doing the same thing, then most would begin to rail against that neighbor. If he was seen drinking all afternoon while mowing the lawn and then jumped in his car, I'd be apt to make a call to have him pulled over. Did I call because I don't like the guy? Yeah, maybe that was 50% of the reason. But I also have an obligation to the safety of the other people that live in my neighborhood.
If, when asked by his neighbors to turn down the stereo, he announced to everyone that he doesn't care and he's thinking about suicide, I would feel obliged to call the police for his (as well as everyone elses) well being.
As we move to an ever present digital world, the definition of community morphs from real life to online life. But, the same principles still apply. There is still a social norm that people need to adhere to. You wouldn't suggest the best solution is for 10 people to move because of one person can't follow those norms. It makes more sense for the one person to change.
Since the threads are like a neighborhood, we are more likely to help our neighbors. We don't generally look outside our own city or state in real life unless there is major catastrophe. A few people have posted about the good things the FFA has done. In similar manner, when you have someone that chooses to spit on the social norm in your neighborhood the other neighbors tend to take offense to the situation. Some people may try to give a suggestion or two about behavior (keep the music down, do you mind not fixing your car at 3am, etc) Most logical people will oblige and apologize for any disturbance they caused. Should the neighbor instead tell them all to pound sand, and continues doing the same thing, then most would begin to rail against that neighbor. If he was seen drinking all afternoon while mowing the lawn and then jumped in his car, I'd be apt to make a call to have him pulled over. Did I call because I don't like the guy? Yeah, maybe that was 50% of the reason. But I also have an obligation to the safety of the other people that live in my neighborhood.
If, when asked by his neighbors to turn down the stereo, he announced to everyone that he doesn't care and he's thinking about suicide, I would feel obliged to call the police for his (as well as everyone elses) well being.
As we move to an ever present digital world, the definition of community morphs from real life to online life. But, the same principles still apply. There is still a social norm that people need to adhere to. You wouldn't suggest the best solution is for 10 people to move because of one person can't follow those norms. It makes more sense for the one person to change.
Except I'm not knocking on my neighbors door to harass them. I put up a sign on my door inviting people in for tea and conversation and they are stopping by for a chat.
Osaurus
Footballguy
ex-ghost
Footballguy
Dentist
***Official FBG Dentist***
it's true. I've seen some pretty hot/disgusting vomit BJ's on some of the pr0n sites I have been to.
The spaghetti vomit BJ scene was memorable.. i've never eaten pasta the same way since that
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
T J
Footballguy
You invited me to criticize you instead of the OP. I haven't criticized the OP and have taken you up on your offer. I'm confused. I do think you deserve it as well. I really do.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
That's cool. I was just explaining my position. I said that I included myself among those who have offered advice "the wrong way." I don't necessarily know that there is a right and wrong way. I don't think it's as black and white as you seem to. Being gentle about it isn't always "coddling" and being direct isn't always harsh or negative. It's all about intent.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
McGarnicle
Footballguy
Rok reminds me so much of myself in my early 20's it's almost scary. Only major difference is my mom wasn't a prostitute. She was neglectful at times though, and an alcoholic. When I first moved to Atlanta I lived in a crappy apartment by myself, drank too much, didn't date, had no real friends down here and was suicidal for a while.
It's admirable of you guys to offer advice, and I think everything's been covered at this point. Stop drinking, go to AA meetings, get counseling, pursue art, get another job, etc. Even specific links to Dallas area resources. Great job. Now the dude either takes the advice or doesn't. Stop wasting the keystrokes on trying to help, stop getting frustrated when he ignores advice, stop getting offended when he lashes out (because he's not well). You can't control what happens next. He either pulls himself out of the hole or doesn't. All these long posts trying to help, or arguing with the dude or defending stuff you said before is a complete waste of time.
It's admirable of you guys to offer advice, and I think everything's been covered at this point. Stop drinking, go to AA meetings, get counseling, pursue art, get another job, etc. Even specific links to Dallas area resources. Great job. Now the dude either takes the advice or doesn't. Stop wasting the keystrokes on trying to help, stop getting frustrated when he ignores advice, stop getting offended when he lashes out (because he's not well). You can't control what happens next. He either pulls himself out of the hole or doesn't. All these long posts trying to help, or arguing with the dude or defending stuff you said before is a complete waste of time.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
jamny
Footballguy
Yup. Although I still like to try and help, the ball is really in his court now. He needs to help himself. All the advice has been given.
In my current state, he is right. It was not my intention to waste anyone time or effort. I haven't just glossed over the information presented. It's in my head and I'm thinking about it. I'm just having a hard time even getting out of bed in the morning that going to clinics and meetings just seems impossible right.
I apologize to anyone that feels like I wasted their time. I don't yet know where this story ends so in the end you may not have wasted the effort. I'm sure everyone here knows what it's like to be depressed from time to time due to various factors but I don't think most know what it's like to be clinically depressed and manic for well over 2 decades. It's crippling. Dusting myself off and attending a therapy session with strangers is a very tall order that I'm just not able to complete right now.
Just wanting something doesn't give you the strength to do it. Just because you realize you have a problem and want to change it doesn't mean a switch goes off that gives you the confidence to do it. At least not right away.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
I think he is right. I think the reason those of us that have come back time despite being ignored or kicked in the ### is because we see something we can identify with, or have been through the same thing like McGarnicle. And having been through something like that or having seen people we care about go through such terrible struggles, it's something we don't wish on anyone, like the person or not. So the instinct and the reflex for some of us is to keep trying. It's got to get through at some point. Maybe, maybe not, but we hope so so we keep posting our long posts not really saying anything new but hoping that someone's post will be good timing and click. Then there is needing to take care of ourselves. He obviously needs a place to speak and great idea, his own thread. 1 thread out of 1000s. So why do some people who can't stand the guy, really don't care deep down bother showing up in here knowing full well from the past what you may get. Is it a guy thing? I don't get it and no one has given a good answer. This is a room in this house....well ok, it's his room. He has permission to do almost anything in his own room. As a kid if you were driving your parents nuts, they sent you to your room to act out in there. And banning him when he's obviously very troubled, alone, appears high risk for suicide is not the answer. Fighting with him does no good. Giving great advice isn't doing much either. So I think it's healthy for all of us to step away from this thread, some for good, others at least for awhile. We can control that. And my sharing about my issues and how I've felt is not coming from anger at all. I was using examples of how I felt to try and drive a point home, but it got misunderstood. The joy of not being a good communicator. Rok should go through this thread and copy the posts which give great advice and info into a word document on his computer for future reference. Going through all these pages and more to come will be quite a chore. Hopefully some day he will turn himself around like McGarnicle did. Some people do take a lot longer than others, but with not even reaching out for help beyond this thread, sadly it won't happen. I hope he'll surprise us as I do wish him well and don't consider my time and effort a waste. It's out there for him to go back to, but it's on him.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
I think those that can should if they wish,to keep encouraging you. But you need to understand that you are driving people away by getting drunk and trashing them. You don't see that? When you fire back you just lost someone who perhaps did really care. You haven't beaten on me. Maybe because I'm female, but you sure have on some guys here in response to the very helpful posts they posted. I understand some of it or much of it is alcohol, which is why you really need to get serious in addressing that issue or you'll wind up with fewer people trying to help you, encourage you, and you don't want that, right?
DocHolliday
Footballguy
This hits the nail right on the head. I am done with Rok but enjoy this thread. I'm not wasting my time trying to help someone that isn't willing to help himself. Anyone that is struggling to make ends meet but is only willing to work 30-35 hours/week has no idea how to get himself in a better place in life. Sure, money is not his only problem but it would reduce some stress.
Beef Ravioli
Footballguy
Did I miss the life story part? What page?
How is working more hours going to reduce stress? I can barely manage the hours I'm currently working. I worked 50+ hours a week for 3 years. When I got the promotion the stress and hours were higher and my drinking intensified.
CurlyNight
Footballguy
No. I've seen posts that the person is being very nice and helpful and you say something rude back to them. You remind me very much of my uncle who gets trashed and calls anyone and everyone who is trying to help him horrible names and when he's sober, he has no memory of it. You don't need to black out in order to not remember. He's not dealing with his issues of major depression, alcoholism, etc and swings like you do. We anticipate that if he doesn't off himself, he won't live much longer at the rate he's going, and it's very sad because he is a good guy underneath it all.
I don't recall much of. I'm sorry to anyone I lashed out at that didn't deserve it.
T J
Footballguy
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