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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

Evilgrin 72 said:
I don't really have an epic tale surrounding Keystone, but one mildly amusing anecdote in which this beer does play a role.

Freshman year at college, my roommate and I are surprised with a routine inspection by the fire department.  We probably got notice that it was coming and I wiped my ### with it, I don't know.  I just remember not expecting it when we got a knock on the door and three people came in to search for violations.  First, we got socked with having a batting helmet over the smoke detector, 95% of our door and walls covered on all sides with magazine cutouts, "evidence of careless smoking," and an illegal hot plate, among other violations.  The fire marshal (or whoever TF he was) told us we had the most violations of any room he'd ever evaluated (woo hoo!)

The kicker was when they slid open the accordion-style doors to our closet and found a 3 foot Graffix bong and over 1,000 empty cans of Keystone.  They were flabbergasted - we had them stacked neatly about 35 across, 5 high, and 6-7 rows deep.  It took up the bulk of the closet - our clothes were largely in suitcases or on the floor.  Two of the firemen were laughing (one actually said : "Who TF drinks that much Keystone?) while the marshal, who was not laughing, made us drag every one of them out and start loading them into garbage bags.  Our RA was in the hallway looking like he'd seen a ghost.  As we got done packing them all up (along with the bong, which they confiscated,) I thought the closet was empty.  Then, I hear one of the firemen say : "Ohhhh, HERE'S our street sign !" and pull a metal street sign out of the closet.  The Rutgers-Busch Campus fire station was on a road called Titsworth Place.  Naturally, we'd gone out at 3 AM drunk one night and ripped the sign off the intersection and brought it back to our dorm.  They took that too.
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You can't make this #### up

 
So....I met a cute single mom on OkCupid. She has a 6 month old son and the father is entirely out of the picture. I'm falling in love with her and I feel like stepping in as the guy. The bio father abandoned her completely and this baby is cute and she's awesome.

We talk 2-4 hours every night. She's cool she likes sports and I can talk to her about anything. I'm really smitten and I ask a lot about her son and I'm falling in love with the idea of being a dad. A couple of years ago I would have never thought I could handle this responsibility but I'm really excited about becoming a family man. 

Am ibiting off off more than I can chew or is this a good step for a boy trying to become a man?

im really excited about being a father.i haven't felt this good in a while. We've been trying to get together for a couple weeks but our schedules haven't helped. She gets off early on the 4th and it's my day off so the 3 of us are going to watch fireworks.

 
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It's not like she has a cool puppy you get hang out with. This is a kid. Worry about whether you get along with her first before jumping into Ward Cleaver mode.

And a 6 month old at fireworks sounds like disaster.

 
JaxBill said:
It's not like she has a cool puppy you get hang out with. This is a kid. Worry about whether you get along with her first before jumping into Ward Cleaver mode.

And a 6 month old at fireworks sounds like disaster.
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It's a public show. He's not going to be lighting them.

 
Phew, that's a relief.

Yeah, a crowded public place after dark with a lot of noise, loud bangs, and more than a few drunks is perfect for a 6 month old.

Carry on.

 
RokNRole said:
So....I met a cute single mom on OkCupid. She has a 6 month old son and the father is entirely out of the picture. I'm falling in love with her and I feel like stepping in as the guy. The bio father abandoned her completely and this baby is cute and she's awesome.

We talk 2-4 hours every night. She's cool she likes sports and I can talk to her about anything. I'm really smitten and I ask a lot about her son and I'm falling in love with the idea of being a dad. A couple of years ago I would have never thought I could handle this responsibility but I'm really excited about becoming a family man. 

Am ibiting off off more than I can chew or is this a good step for a boy trying to become a man?

im really excited about being a father.i haven't felt this good in a while. We've been trying to get together for a couple weeks but our schedules haven't helped. She gets off early on the 4th and it's my day off so the 3 of us are going to watch fireworks.
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15 months ago he was very much in the picture.  Likely there is an ongoing support issue, keeping him in the picture. Anyhow, good luck with this.

BTW, 6 month olds, infants, they don't really like loud noises.  Also, they have their own schedule and agenda.  That may not include cooperating in crowds, traffic jams, and with explosions going off. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
15 months ago he was very much in the picture.  Likely there is an ongoing support issue, keeping him in the picture. Anyhow, good luck with this.

BTW, 6 month olds, infants, they don't really like loud noises.  Also, they have their own schedule and agenda.  That may not include cooperating in crowds, traffic jams, and with explosions going off. 
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Cut him a break, he is new to being a father

 
6 month old child? That means she could be still breastfeeding. Which means, you may fall victim to FCS.

False Can Syndrome.

So be careful. Those things may recede after another 6 months or so.

 
6 more old implies to me: might still be on infant sleep schedule, which is awake a few hours, asleep a few hours. Not mobile- so she could conceivably take this kid anywhere she pleases in a bjorn awake or asleep. As previous poster said, they have their own schedule- eat, poop, pee, sleep... They need help with all of that, so taking it somewhere that will mess with that (anywhere loud and unpredictable) doesn't strike me as a fantastic idea and a bit selfish. Imo and ime, raising these things is exhausting and requires putting your own desires second until they're old enough to help themselves. But if the mom knows the kids schedule and is ready to bail if it clearly isn't working, taking it to fireworks with the three of you on a blanket isn't impossible

Also mentioned... 6mo with father totally out of the picture? Suggests to me dad is a ####berg, and mom... Was involved with and had a kid with a ####berg. So no child support? Nothing?

Lastly... congrats on meeting somebody you like! Hearing you use the word"dating" struck me as odd because you hadn't posted about her before... so from the FFA experience it comes across as you having only just meet her. But you obviously have a life outside of here..  I think... and must have spent a lot of time getting to know her to feel this way.

 
RNR's thread: I'm dating a single mom
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I haven't read the thread, but let me say: this is a bad idea.

The better option is to date multiple moms.

 
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RokNRole said:
So....I met a cute single mom on OkCupid. She has a 6 month old son and the father is entirely out of the picture. I'm falling in love with her and I feel like stepping in as the guy. The bio father abandoned her completely and this baby is cute and she's awesome.

We talk 2-4 hours every night. She's cool she likes sports and I can talk to her about anything. I'm really smitten and I ask a lot about her son and I'm falling in love with the idea of being a dad. A couple of years ago I would have never thought I could handle this responsibility but I'm really excited about becoming a family man. 

Am ibiting off off more than I can chew or is this a good step for a boy trying to become a man?

im really excited about being a father.i haven't felt this good in a while. We've been trying to get together for a couple weeks but our schedules haven't helped. She gets off early on the 4th and it's my day off so the 3 of us are going to watch fireworks.
Click to expand...
Proceed, but do so with caution. 

It sounds like you are the type to go 0-60 in 2.2 seconds. That's not the play here. You're trying to make everything you believe you want happen in the span of a couple of weeks - job, woman, kid, etc. She's probably overwhelmed raising an infant on her own and desperately wants a guy in the picture to help/support them. If this is the case, she will encourage your kamikaze approach to this situation now, but things change. 

Now, this could all work out great. However, just get to know her first before you start talking about being a father. That's an enormous step. It sounds like you haven't even seen this woman in person yet and you're already talking about raising her child. I would urge you not to put the cart before the horse here. I know making these bold, life-changing moves may feel perfect now, but they may not 6 months from now. 

Go slowly and evaluate things as they progress. This is not the time to do a cannonball right into the deep end without knowing whether or not you can swim. 

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
I don't really have an epic tale surrounding Keystone, but one mildly amusing anecdote in which this beer does play a role.

Freshman year at college, my roommate and I are surprised with a routine inspection by the fire department.  We probably got notice that it was coming and I wiped my ### with it, I don't know.  I just remember not expecting it when we got a knock on the door and three people came in to search for violations.  First, we got socked with having a batting helmet over the smoke detector, 95% of our door and walls covered on all sides with magazine cutouts, "evidence of careless smoking," and an illegal hot plate, among other violations.  The fire marshal (or whoever TF he was) told us we had the most violations of any room he'd ever evaluated (woo hoo!)

The kicker was when they slid open the accordion-style doors to our closet and found a 3 foot Graffix bong and over 1,000 empty cans of Keystone.  They were flabbergasted - we had them stacked neatly about 35 across, 5 high, and 6-7 rows deep.  It took up the bulk of the closet - our clothes were largely in suitcases or on the floor.  Two of the firemen were laughing (one actually said : "Who TF drinks that much Keystone?) while the marshal, who was not laughing, made us drag every one of them out and start loading them into garbage bags.  Our RA was in the hallway looking like he'd seen a ghost.  As we got done packing them all up (along with the bong, which they confiscated,) I thought the closet was empty.  Then, I hear one of the firemen say : "Ohhhh, HERE'S our street sign !" and pull a metal street sign out of the closet.  The Rutgers-Busch Campus fire station was on a road called Titsworth Place.  Naturally, we'd gone out at 3 AM drunk one night and ripped the sign off the intersection and brought it back to our dorm.  They took that too.
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:lmao:   thanks for starting our Monday on a high note.  

Evilgrin 72 said:
Proceed, but do so with caution. 

It sounds like you are the type to go 0-60 in 2.2 seconds. That's not the play here. You're trying to make everything you believe you want happen in the span of a couple of weeks - job, woman, kid, etc. She's probably overwhelmed raising an infant on her own and desperately wants a guy in the picture to help/support them. If this is the case, she will encourage your kamikaze approach to this situation now, but things change. 

Now, this could all work out great. However, just get to know her first before you start talking about being a father. That's an enormous step. It sounds like you haven't even seen this woman in person yet and you're already talking about raising her child. I would urge you not to put the cart before the horse here. I know making these bold, life-changing moves may feel perfect now, but they may not 6 months from now. 

Go slowly and evaluate things as they progress. This is not the time to do a cannonball right into the deep end without knowing whether or not you can swim. 
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and back to 0 in 1.1 seconds. Which is definitely not the play here.  

Do the kid a favor and take things slow.   ETA: I don't mean that as a personal attack. I have given the same advice to a friend who is a successful lawyer and has been a stable single guy for years.  

 
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I mean....come on.

95% of guys on dating sites would pass right by "single mother of a 6 month old". I know that's mean, but that's the reality of the situation. Its an incredible headache that most wouldn't want to deal with.

Good chance this girl is incredibly overwhelmed at the moment and is just looking for someone to throw her a lifeline.(both financial and emotional)  I hate to be judgemental, but she doesn't seem to be someone who makes good life decisions. She had a baby with the kind of guy who runs within 6 months (I know there might be extraordinary circumstances, but good chance the guy was a scum bag and she knew it) and now she's considering taking her infant child to watch a fireworks display on a first date with someone she has only talked to on the phone. (I know you've had great phone conversations, but you're a stranger to her)

Maybe the 2 of you just happened to stumble upon your soulmate on OK cupid. If so, congrats. But the reality is that this is probably just two naive/somewhat desperate people falling ### backwards into something they probably shouldn't be doing.

 
Not saying that the single mom is a bad choice, but what is the talent level like at the restaurant?  That is where I would start my fishing. 

 
TLEF316 said:
I mean....come on.

95% of guys on dating sites would pass right by "single mother of a 6 month old". I know that's mean, but that's the reality of the situation. Its an incredible headache that most wouldn't want to deal with.

Good chance this girl is incredibly overwhelmed at the moment and is just looking for someone to throw her a lifeline.(both financial and emotional)  I hate to be judgemental, but she doesn't seem to be someone who makes good life decisions. She had a baby with the kind of guy who runs within 6 months (I know there might be extraordinary circumstances, but good chance the guy was a scum bag and she knew it) and now she's considering taking her infant child to watch a fireworks display on a first date with someone she has only talked to on the phone. (I know you've had great phone conversations, but you're a stranger to her)

Maybe the 2 of you just happened to stumble upon your soulmate on OK cupid. If so, congrats. But the reality is that this is probably just two naive/somewhat desperate people falling ### backwards into something they probably shouldn't be doing.
Click to expand...
This

 
El Floppo said:
6 more old implies to me: might still be on infant sleep schedule, which is awake a few hours, asleep a few hours. Not mobile- so she could conceivably take this kid anywhere she pleases in a bjorn awake or asleep. As previous poster said, they have their own schedule- eat, poop, pee, sleep... They need help with all of that, so taking it somewhere that will mess with that (anywhere loud and unpredictable) doesn't strike me as a fantastic idea and a bit selfish. Imo and ime, raising these things is exhausting and requires putting your own desires second until they're old enough to help themselves. But if the mom knows the kids schedule and is ready to bail if it clearly isn't working, taking it to fireworks with the three of you on a blanket isn't impossible

Also mentioned... 6mo with father totally out of the picture? Suggests to me dad is a ####berg, and mom... Was involved with and had a kid with a ####berg. So no child support? Nothing?

Lastly... congrats on meeting somebody you like! Hearing you use the word"dating" struck me as odd because you hadn't posted about her before... so from the FFA experience it comes across as you having only just meet her. But you obviously have a life outside of here..  I think... and must have spent a lot of time getting to know her to feel this way.
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Sleep deprivation on the new Mom's part...thaaaat explains it.  Thanks.

 
RnR.  Enjoy the 4th.  Don't wonder about your New Year's date, or a future life.  For now, just enjoy the 4th.  The rest will sort itself in due time.  Party responsibly.

 
RokNRole said:
So....I met a cute single mom on OkCupid. She has a 6 month old son and the father is entirely out of the picture. I'm falling in love with her and I feel like stepping in as the guy. The bio father abandoned her completely and this baby is cute and she's awesome.

We talk 2-4 hours every night. She's cool she likes sports and I can talk to her about anything. I'm really smitten and I ask a lot about her son and I'm falling in love with the idea of being a dad. A couple of years ago I would have never thought I could handle this responsibility but I'm really excited about becoming a family man. 

Am ibiting off off more than I can chew or is this a good step for a boy trying to become a man?

im really excited about being a father.i haven't felt this good in a while. We've been trying to get together for a couple weeks but our schedules haven't helped. She gets off early on the 4th and it's my day off so the 3 of us are going to watch fireworks.
Click to expand...
Dude... those are powerful words.  Is it love or is it the idea of being in love?  I don't care how many hours you have spent on the phone.  You do not know this woman yet.  You haven't even  been able to coordinate schedules well enough to get together...stop talking about LOVE.

Yes... you need some stability and to figure out life for yourself first.  Insta-family complicates this tremendously.  Go slow...enjoy yourself...but save the dad and family man stuff for much further down the road.  It will be a disaster for all involved (including the child) if you aren't first able to manage your own responsibilities.

 
There is nothing wrong with dating a single mom.  However, you have to take it slow.  Real slow. 

Infants are a ton of work.  The mom is probably struggling with some aspects in life as pointed out by other posters.  She is probably vulnerable.  Be careful not to get involved too fast and get the mom too hopeful just in case things do not work out. 

 
TLEF316 said:
I mean....come on.

95% of guys on dating sites would pass right by "single mother of a 6 month old". I know that's mean, but that's the reality of the situation. Its an incredible headache that most wouldn't want to deal with.

Good chance this girl is incredibly overwhelmed at the moment and is just looking for someone to throw her a lifeline.(both financial and emotional)  I hate to be judgemental, but she doesn't seem to be someone who makes good life decisions. She had a baby with the kind of guy who runs within 6 months (I know there might be extraordinary circumstances, but good chance the guy was a scum bag and she knew it) and now she's considering taking her infant child to watch a fireworks display on a first date with someone she has only talked to on the phone. (I know you've had great phone conversations, but you're a stranger to her)

Maybe the 2 of you just happened to stumble upon your soulmate on OK cupid. If so, congrats. But the reality is that this is probably just two naive/somewhat desperate people falling ### backwards into something they probably shouldn't be doing.
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A bit more on the nose, but yeah. There's nothing wrong with Rok having a paternal instinct and who knows? Maybe this is the moment/opportunity that helps him "grow up," if that's what he wants. However, it could easily be two people with voids in their lives rushing headlong into something they both believe will fill those voids without focusing on what's really important if it's going to be a long-lasting and meaningful relationship - compatibility, genuine affection, etc. 

I'm sure this isn't what Rok wants hear, he probably wants people to just root him on and tell him it's a great idea. And maybe it is, none of us know this woman (or even Rok) at all. However, those are really trying to help here have the benefit of something he can't have - objectivity. That and a healthy dose of pragmatism may not make beautiful music to his ears, but it could just help him avoid disaster if he simply exercises perspicacious judgment rather than barreling forward blindly. 

 
Galileo said:
Dude... those are powerful words.  Is it love or is it the idea of being in love?  I don't care how many hours you have spent on the phone.  You do not know this woman yet.  You haven't even  been able to coordinate schedules well enough to get together...stop talking about LOVE.

Yes... you need some stability and to figure out life for yourself first.  Insta-family complicates this tremendously.  Go slow...enjoy yourself...but save the dad and family man stuff for much further down the road.  It will be a disaster for all involved (including the child) if you aren't first able to manage your own responsibilities.
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Yes. 

 
Galileo said:
Dude... those are powerful words.  Is it love or is it the idea of being in love?  I don't care how many hours you have spent on the phone.  You do not know this woman yet.  You haven't even  been able to coordinate schedules well enough to get together...stop talking about LOVE.

Yes... you need some stability and to figure out life for yourself first.  Insta-family complicates this tremendously.  Go slow...enjoy yourself...but save the dad and family man stuff for much further down the road.  It will be a disaster for all involved (including the child) if you aren't first able to manage your own responsibilities.
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When given a choice as to whose advice to heed, that of Galileo or that of Ditkaless Wonders the smart money sides with the man who championed heliocentrism.

 
DocHolliday said:
There is nothing wrong with dating a single mom.  However, you have to take it slow.  Real slow. 

Infants are a ton of work.  The mom is probably struggling with some aspects in life as pointed out by other posters.  She is probably vulnerable.  Be careful not to get involved too fast and get the mom too hopeful just in case things do not work out. 
Click to expand...
Hopefully the general theme here is sinking in. 

 
flranger said:
Some states have laws that require alcohol being carried on public property to be in a bag if single, or within the container if a package (six, 12, 24 pack etc).
Click to expand...
Good luck. I remember page 12 of this thread. It only gets better.

 
Everyone's advice here since you brought up the dating and the kid is really good. I will also add in the fact you need to figure out how serious you are about being in the food service industry for a career. This is a deal breaker for a lot of women and especially women with children. They understand the type of atmosphere it is at a lot of restaurant/bars, add in the how your hours change weekly and a lot of women that want a family won't/can't do that type of schedule. So you need to ask yourself how serious you are about this career path, and then take it slow with her and figure out if she is okay with this path. If she isn't you should do both of you a favor and cut ties quickly, otherwise you are going back to square one. You will hate all your jobs and be miserable, and so will she.

 
It is, in my opinion, a terrible idea to work in restaurants while being a family man.  Half of the reason the hours, adrenaline, etc. are bearable is because of the ability to have wild, meaningless sex with patrons and co-workers.

 
RokNRole said:
So....I met a cute single mom on OkCupid. She has a 6 month old son and the father is entirely out of the picture. I'm falling in love with her and I feel like stepping in as the guy. The bio father abandoned her completely and this baby is cute and she's awesome.

We talk 2-4 hours every night. She's cool she likes sports and I can talk to her about anything. I'm really smitten and I ask a lot about her son and I'm falling in love with the idea of being a dad. A couple of years ago I would have never thought I could handle this responsibility but I'm really excited about becoming a family man. 

Am ibiting off off more than I can chew or is this a good step for a boy trying to become a man?

im really excited about being a father.i haven't felt this good in a while. We've been trying to get together for a couple weeks but our schedules haven't helped. She gets off early on the 4th and it's my day off so the 3 of us are going to watch fireworks.
Click to expand...
I'm not suggesting that the bolded is completely untrue in your case, but I'd note that in my experience doing family law that the bolded is often stated by a particularly party when it actually isn't even true or isn't true for the reasons that the speaker is providing. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
15 months ago he was very much in the picture.  Likely there is an ongoing support issue, keeping him in the picture. Anyhow, good luck with this.

BTW, 6 month olds, infants, they don't really like loud noises.  Also, they have their own schedule and agenda.  That may not include cooperating in crowds, traffic jams, and with explosions going off. 
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No there isn't ongoing support. The guy skipped town. If he was in the picture in any way I wouldn't get involved.

 
Zow said:
I'm not suggesting that the bolded is completely untrue in your case, but I'd note that in my experience doing family law that the bolded is often stated by a particularly party when it actually isn't even true or isn't true for the reasons that the speaker is providing. 
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Woz knows stuff.

 
TLEF316 said:
I mean....come on.

95% of guys on dating sites would pass right by "single mother of a 6 month old". I know that's mean, but that's the reality of the situation. Its an incredible headache that most wouldn't want to deal with.

Good chance this girl is incredibly overwhelmed at the moment and is just looking for someone to throw her a lifeline.(both financial and emotional)  I hate to be judgemental, but she doesn't seem to be someone who makes good life decisions. She had a baby with the kind of guy who runs within 6 months (I know there might be extraordinary circumstances, but good chance the guy was a scum bag and she knew it) and now she's considering taking her infant child to watch a fireworks display on a first date with someone she has only talked to on the phone. (I know you've had great phone conversations, but you're a stranger to her)

Maybe the 2 of you just happened to stumble upon your soulmate on OK cupid. If so, congrats. But the reality is that this is probably just two naive/somewhat desperate people falling ### backwards into something they probably shouldn't be doing.
Click to expand...
This

 
RokNRole said:
No there isn't ongoing support. The guy skipped town. If he was in the picture in any way I wouldn't get involved.
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See its not just that simple.  The support is not owed the woman, it is owed the child.  If the child runs across the system anytime between now and its 18th B-day, which we all do from time to time, the system may pursue the child's rights.  This has a way of getting the mom and dad back in touch, whether they seek it or not.

Also, you are trusting that this woman who you have never met is telling you the whole and objective truth.  She may even be trying and may be sincere in her statements, but she may not be objective, and she may be a bit self-deluded.  That's not a crack, it is just true of all of us.

Regardless, no reason to not have a pleasant encounter.  Just take things as they come and with a grain of salt.

 
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Can we get over the ####### firework? We are going to a park to watch them from a considerable distance. Why do you people focus on the one thing that is irrelevant?

 
El Floppo said:
6 more old implies to me: might still be on infant sleep schedule, which is awake a few hours, asleep a few hours. Not mobile- so she could conceivably take this kid anywhere she pleases in a bjorn awake or asleep. As previous poster said, they have their own schedule- eat, poop, pee, sleep... They need help with all of that, so taking it somewhere that will mess with that (anywhere loud and unpredictable) doesn't strike me as a fantastic idea and a bit selfish. Imo and ime, raising these things is exhausting and requires putting your own desires second until they're old enough to help themselves. But if the mom knows the kids schedule and is ready to bail if it clearly isn't working, taking it to fireworks with the three of you on a blanket isn't impossible

Also mentioned... 6mo with father totally out of the picture? Suggests to me dad is a ####berg, and mom... Was involved with and had a kid with a ####berg. So no child support? Nothing?

Lastly... congrats on meeting somebody you like! Hearing you use the word"dating" struck me as odd because you hadn't posted about her before... so from the FFA experience it comes across as you having only just meet her. But you obviously have a life outside of here..  I think... and must have spent a lot of time getting to know her to feel this way.
Click to expand...
She doesn't need his help she has a great career and a supportive family. And she works hours that parallel mine.

 
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