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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

I appreciate the effort. Admittedly not full because I no longer have any hope for the human race. It is what it is and it's over.
The tactfulness of the  human race is not going to play a part in getting you better. You are in charge of that.   If you give up on things every time another person does something stupid or insensitive--you'll never progress.  With that being said--if you really feel that this thread is doing you more harm than good--by all means delete it.  My point is that if you feel this thread is good for you--don't let the poor actions of a few have a negative impact on your progress.  Don't give them that power over you.  

 
You delete this thread and there goes all the advice, resources and help we have given you. That would be the biggest slap in our faces. Plus what do want to bet that others may be benefiting from all the hard work and time many of us have put in. So deleting this won't just effect you but others as well I'm sure,.

 
The tactfulness of the  human race is not going to play a part in getting you better. You are in charge of that.   If you give up on things every time another person does something stupid or insensitive--you'll never progress.  With that being said--if you really feel that this thread is doing you more harm than good--by all means delete it.  My point is that if you feel this thread is good for you--don't let the poor actions of a few have a negative impact on your progress.  Don't give them that power over you.  
They don't have that power but I have the power to flip my thinking 180 degrees.

 
You delete this thread and there goes all the advice, resources and help we have given you. That would be the biggest slap in our faces. Plus what do want to bet that others may be benefiting from all the hard work and time many of us have put in. So deleting this won't just effect you but others as well I'm sure,.
The human race is #### so I don't really care about all that.

 
The human race is #### so I don't really care about all that.
Let's see. I left a couple hours ago to pick up a friend from the airport. How many drinks have you had during that time? And I beg to differ that you don't care about at least some folks here, alcohol allowing. Do not delete the thread. If you want to stop posting then fine, but too much great info for all of us to refer back to.

You responded to me a bit back about the possibility of no one talking to you. So many people have spent so much energy and hours of their valuable time in trying to not only help you, but also others who are silently suffering and our words would be useful for them as well. You delete this and start another thread (and you know you will), you can bet you won't get many if any responses. Think long and hard before you pull the trigger..

 
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You had a messed up childhood. A terrible Dad, messed up Mom, etc. So do a lot of people.  Get help.  You can overcome your childhood and lead a productive life. I'm still shocked by your stance of the depravity of the human race when so many people in this thread have shown otherwise. They offer support and suggestions. You won't take either.  Maybe some day you will. 

Be there for your niece. Don't have her writing a thread like yours in 20 years. You can impact that - in a positive way.  As others have said - forget the money/gifts/ponies. Just be a great Uncle and male role model. There is still time. 

 
You had a messed up childhood. A terrible Dad, messed up Mom, etc. So do a lot of people.  Get help.  You can overcome your childhood and lead a productive life. I'm still shocked by your stance of the depravity of the human race when so many people in this thread have shown otherwise. They offer support and suggestions. You won't take either.  Maybe some day you will. 

Be there for your niece. Don't have her writing a thread like yours in 20 years. You can impact that - in a positive way.  As others have said - forget the money/gifts/ponies. Just be a great Uncle and male role model. There is still time. 
She really deserves a pony though 

 
Rok, take a deep breath. No one meant any offense. Side tangents happen in threads all the time. If it seemed crude or offensive in light of the discussion, I apologize. I hope by now you know I meant nothing by it, just killing time until your next post.

 
How many times do you need to wake up in the morning to see and read how alcohol flips a switch in you to a dark state before you realize that you need to stop drinking?

 
It's simply not something I would do given the gravity of the conversation. I'm a hateful alcoholic and if it's something even I wouldn't do then it's very low. The world, humanity and everyone can burn in hell. It's the last time I will ever make a fool of myself and in one week it goes to the nether.
Is it really that much different than when you went to AA meetings and did not pay attention and fell asleep as people told their stories?   People are self-centered by nature, it is part of our survival instincts.  But it does not mean they do not care.

 
Rok... I've suffered through sometimes paralyzing clinical depression, and this is what always works for me: taking action to help myself. When I've been at my most frozen, even the smallest step feels mountainous... what's ultimately helped me is making the step even smaller. Going to AA too daunting? Find one place that has meetings on the web. That's it. That's a step towards fixing yourself. IME, just the energy to take even the smallest step like that breaks me free from the paralysis and gets me taking the next steps... Researching that AA spot, seeing if they have parking, coffee, whatever, etc,etc until I'm finally doing it.

That's the advice that works for me. Babiest of baby steps that slowly move you in a different trajectory than this downward spiral.

I genuinely wish you well, rok- even though your and many others behavior in here keeps me away from the thread.
It's tough being a soccer fan. 

 
Fair enough. I personally think the guy is full of it so anything I might say in this thread is with that premise.
Understood.  I only urge people to realize that they don't KNOW for sure if the guy is full of it or not.  None of us knows for sure, myself included.  If he is, then the joke's on those of us who chose to help him out.  If he isn't, then wouldn't a modicum of human kindness be in order?  If not, is abstinence from this one thread so abhorrent?

I'm not telling anyone what to do, only asking people to look at things from both sides of the lens - what is the upside/downside to your (not you specifically) comments if he is/isn't being forthright?  For me personally, if I thought this was all one giant load of crap, I'd simply ignore it.  It isn't that hard to do, he's apparently been here for close to a decade and the only interaction I had with him until a couple of months ago was in the dong pics thread.  I don't even know the myriad aliai he's gone through here.

 
EG have you reached out directly to this guy? Seems like a phone call, email, or Facebook or something would be worthwhile to confirm this is worth the effort. 

 
Ok first question. I am here at a DOT medical testing facility. I think the nurse that did my intake was flirting with me. She started telling me a lot of personal stuff and for some reason decided to tell me she's single and what a difficult time she is having meeting a decent guy.

She is 110% my type. I want to ask her out but the doctor and other employees are milling around and I don't want to get her in trouble. Is it ok for me to call the facility later today, or later this week, and ask to speak to her?
Feels like the joke started around here, not page 82.  

 
Zow said:
EG have you reached out directly to this guy? Seems like a phone call, email, or Facebook or something would be worthwhile to confirm this is worth the effort. 
Didn't @Koya actually meet him for drinks in Texas?

 
Probably one of the nicest posters on the forum, can't imagine the guy having beef with anyone. He had his own health issues and then relocated to Dallas, without a single complaint out of him the entire time... Pretty sure he doesn't need any additional drama. Def just keeping his head low to avoid this nonsense. 

OP, nuke the thread... 

IMHO, below is a link he should go engage with. He can get real support there, but unfortunately he isn't an outlier and garnering the attention he craves where others have similar problems, so I doubt he actually would use that board - a place where he can actually get advice from real people suffering similar symptoms. Took me all of 7 seconds and one Googley search to find. 

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/

 
In fairness I did get the impression that he was just joking. And that he's "real" then. Just find it somewhat odd that he's so sensitive in here.  :shrug:  
A couple posts further down in that thread he says he was kidding...

 
Be careful, lest you get labeled an apologist.
Eh, just trying to be objective.  I definitely won't defend the guy's behavior on this board.  I have been one of the few (or many now?) in a unique position to legitimately help the guy with a particular issue he's had in the past.  And I tried to offer that help - help I'd normally charge quite a bit of money for - and the guy just criticized me, told me I was wrong, and didn't want to hear or follow a shred of my input or even seem the least bit grateful for me offering it. 

 
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Eh, just trying to be objective.  I definitely won't defend the guy's behavior on this board.  I have been one of the few (or many now?) in a unique position to legitimately help the guy with a particular issue he's had in the past.  And I tried to offer that help - help I'd normally charge quite a bit of money for - and the guy just criticized me, told me I was wrong, and didn't want to hear or follow a shred of my input or even some the least bit grateful for me offering it. 
I know, I was making a joke referring to T J calling me an apologist earlier for suggesting that it was pretty clear he was kidding about the Koya cornhole.  It was obvious he hadn't read the thread in question and just saw an opportunity to take a shot at me, but he didn't realize how unstable the ground he was attacking from was.

As for the rest of it, yeah - I get why you would be frustrated.  That's the primary thing I've been trying to counsel Rok on, I think he truly does appreciate when people try to help but he has no idea how to express that properly and he often sees constructive criticism as insults.  Part of that is because he gets attacked so much that he's always on the defensive, but part of it I believe stems from his own issues and lack of self-confidence.  It's a tough road to be sure, but I've been urging people to understand where it comes from rather than just dismiss him as an ingrate and lambaste him as such.  I understand why someone would want to do the latter, though - I truly do.

 
I know, I was making a joke referring to T J calling me an apologist earlier for suggesting that it was pretty clear he was kidding about the Koya cornhole.  It was obvious he hadn't read the thread in question and just saw an opportunity to take a shot at me, but he didn't realize how unstable the ground he was attacking from was.

As for the rest of it, yeah - I get why you would be frustrated.  That's the primary thing I've been trying to counsel Rok on, I think he truly does appreciate when people try to help but he has no idea how to express that properly and he often sees constructive criticism as insults.  Part of that is because he gets attacked so much that he's always on the defensive, but part of it I believe stems from his own issues and lack of self-confidence.  It's a tough road to be sure, but I've been urging people to understand where it comes from rather than just dismiss him as an ingrate and lambaste him as such.  I understand why someone would want to do the latter, though - I truly do.
Respectfully, I'd contend that the former part is not a part of it at all or, if it is, it's an insignificant percentage.  

 
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Respectfully, I'd contend that the former part is not a part of it at all or, if it is, it's an insignificant percentage.  
I guess it depends what you mean by insignificant.  It also depends on perspective - what seems like an attack to him may not seem like one to you, or even objectively appear like one to a neutral observer.  I agree that that's only a small part of it, though.  The larger issue is that he doesn't really like dissenting opinions, especially when they're presented in a direct and forthright fashion.  What reads to you or me like : "Hey, I have some expertise in this area and what you're doing is incorrect.  Try this, it may help..." reads to him like "Hey, jack### - I know better than you.  Look at what doing things your way has gotten you.  You need to do a complete 180 and break out of all your long-held patterns and beliefs and do what I tell you to do."

If that makes sense.

 
I guess it depends what you mean by insignificant.  It also depends on perspective - what seems like an attack to him may not seem like one to you, or even objectively appear like one to a neutral observer.  I agree that that's only a small part of it, though.  The larger issue is that he doesn't really like dissenting opinions, especially when they're presented in a direct and forthright fashion.  What reads to you or me like : "Hey, I have some expertise in this area and what you're doing is incorrect.  Try this, it may help..." reads to him like "Hey, jack### - I know better than you.  Look at what doing things your way has gotten you.  You need to do a complete 180 and break out of all your long-held patterns and beliefs and do what I tell you to do."

If that makes sense.
It does.  It's just that you're moving the proverbial goal posts so far back for him then that even the most well-intentioned of us can't possibly make the kick.  So, as others have alleged, helping this guy is an absolute exercise in futility. 

 
It does.  It's just that you're moving the proverbial goal posts so far back for him then that even the most well-intentioned of us can't possibly make the kick.  So, as others have alleged, helping this guy is an absolute exercise in futility. 
I'm not moving the goalposts at all, just explaining why they seem so far away.  I'm actually trying to move them closer.

If you have decided helping him is an exercise in futility, I completely understand.  I've never asked anyone to jump in here and help him, simply to ignore him or at least not jump on his back if you've come to that conclusion.  There are those like yourself that can come in here and have a rational conversation about it, or simply read and move on without negative comments.  There are others who insist that all his past behavior gives them every right to heap as much crap on him as they see fit.  I wish there were more of you and less of the latter.  Your position, I can at least understand and respect.

 

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