What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (2 Viewers)

Evilgrin 72 said:
When Saturday comes, I spend the whole day doing yard work, or fixing/cleaning things in my nice big house, cleaning the pool, running errands, etc.  Maybe we'll go out to eat on Saturday night.  You'll see me pulling up to your restaurant in a new car and get out wearing nice clothes.  I'll come in and order whatever I want off the menu because I have the money to do that.  I'll smile and laugh and enjoy that one hour a week and you'll look at me and say : "This guy has it all figured out."  You'll probably curse me under your breath and envy that I have everything while you have nothing.  Then, I'll get up and drive home and spend the rest of that evening wishing I was young and unencumbered again.  That I could pick up at any time and go anywhere I wanted, do anything I wanted.  That the world was fresh and new again, full of infinite possibilities.  That I wasn't a slave to a wife and a mortgage and a group of employees that rely on me.  I'll wish I had no house and no money and no responsibilities.  I'll wish every friend I have wasn't saddled with families or wives that keep their bollocks in her purse.  I'll wistfully pine for bygone days of vomiting off of boardwalk rides and into garbage cans, of taking psychedelics and walking around with 2 dollars and a pack of Marlboros in my pocket, all while you sit home with most of the things I want, wanting what I have.  Or at least thinking you do.
Click to expand...
The whole post was great but this last paragraph in particular is spot on. 

Belongs in the FFA Hall of Fame.

 
El Floppo said:
check the suicide thread if you haven't already, gb... it has a lot of legitimately good info and support in there.

Curly's suggestion for people without insurance for getting treatment meds.

Henry's text number for getting live, real-time texting support. I know there was a 1-800 number in there too... but I have to address a work thing- will look later if you don't find it on your own.
Click to expand...
It's inedequate. Treatment was inadequate when I had Medicaid. Free clinic treatment will be even less so.

 
RokNRole said:
You hate it but you have friends and family in your life.

Im not grateful for every day.
Click to expand...
You've mentioned RL friends in here before.  You've also mentioned that you intentionally don't see your family "for their own good."  It doesn't have to be that way.  If you continuously strip away everything you could have so that you can wallow in misery, you're always going to have nothing.

I believe that, subconsciously or otherwise, you purposefully make sure you have nothing to look forward to because the solitude and the depression is what you know.  It's comfortable and familiar.  You say out loud that you hate this path to nowhere, but you're the one following it and you're afraid to step off of it and onto another.  Changing course is the unknown and the unknown is frightening.  Facing fear is difficult.  Staying with the familiar is easy.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
I got up at 4:50.  What with my various orthopedic injuries over the years, arthritis, diabetes, and prostrate troubles who can sleep later.  I got a solid five hours of fitful, painful sleep after working the day before from 7 AM to 10PM.  I rode my bike for a half an hour in front of the T.V. after some pushups and some squats.  I shower, shave and get into either my 8 year old Hyundai or my 17 year old Dodge Truck and get to work around 6:30.  On the drive I think about my Dad in the hospital with his cancer that has returned for the fourth time.  I think about my sister's divorce proceeding.  I think about the work I have to do to settle the estates of my brother and aunt who both died recently.  I wonder how I will get out of the financial jam spending 1.9 million dollars on my brother's care over the years now has me in.   I think about those things because I do not want to think about my appointment later in the week with the nuclear medicine department and the surgeon who will be looking to get new tumors out of my head and neck.

Work has me problem solving for others, doing the work of others. Lunch today will be a salad during a CLE presentation then back to work.  Today will be a light day at work, I'll be done by 6PM.  On the way home I will buy some spray for a lawn fungus.  I will cut the lawn, spray for fungus and clean out the pond.  I'll put something on the grill while I am doing this because my wife and child will not be home from Dance classes until 10PM.  No dinner on the table or light banter, just bring in the garbage cans, pick up the dog poop and get to the yard work.  The physical labor will make me vomit, I do that a lot now.  I'll shower, eat, and then work on the estates for an hour or so.  My wife will get home at 10PM.  She will share her day which means she will tell me what needs fixing around the house come the weekend.  I'll lay down for bed around 11:00 waiting for sleep to become more pressing than the pain I feel.  I'll hope the phone doesn't ring during the night because if it does it means my dad is dead.

I'm grateful for everyday.
Click to expand...
Ugh.  Salad and a CLE? You masochist. 

 
Quint said:
not trying to be a smartass, but i think the UK is much  like the US in terms of finding employment: not every job requires a degree. 
Click to expand...
Who's going to hire someone from another country for a job that doesn't require a degree? Then wait 3 months for them to start once they get a visa?

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
You've mentioned RL friends in here before.  You've also mentioned that you intentionally don't see your family "for their own good."  It doesn't have to be that way.  If you continuously strip away everything you could have so that you can wallow in misery, you're always going to have nothing.

I believe that, subconsciously or otherwise, you purposefully make sure you have nothing to look forward to because the solitude and the depression is what you know.  It's comfortable and familiar.  You say out loud that you hate this path to nowhere, but you're the one following it and you're afraid to step off of it and onto another.  Changing course is the unknown and the unknown is frightening.  Facing fear is difficult.  Staying with the familiar is easy.
Click to expand...
I have "friends" that I never see and talk to sparsely . Majority of the time I try to contact them I don't hear back.

I cannot talk to anyone in my family. I do not consider them my family.

 
RokNRole said:
Who's going to hire someone from another country for a job that doesn't require a degree? Then wait 3 months for them to start once they get a visa?
Click to expand...
You want me to ask the guys that mow my lawn?  Or go over to International Drive and ask the 50 bartenders from England and Ireland that work the pubs over there?  My guess is the majority of them do not have degrees.  At least not advanced degrees.  There may be a PhD or two in there making my Black Velvets or trimming my elaborate hedges, but probably not many.

 
RokNRole said:
I have "friends" that I never see and talk to sparsely . Majority of the time I try to contact them I don't hear back.

I cannot talk to anyone in my family. I do not consider them my family.
Click to expand...
Your sister and her husband and your niece?  I don't see my friends much either, man... that's what happens when you get older.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Your sister and her husband and your niece?  I don't see my friends much either, man... that's what happens when you get older.
Click to expand...
I cannot talk to my sister about anything serious so I avoid it. Same goes for all my relatives. Unless things are going well they don't want to hear from me or help me. They prefer to have no relationship with me.

Her husband and I are not close and my niece is a baby.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
You want me to ask the guys that mow my lawn?  Or go over to International Drive and ask the 50 bartenders from England and Ireland that work the pubs over there?  My guess is the majority of them do not have degrees.  At least not advanced degrees.  There may be a PhD or two in there making my Black Velvets or trimming my elaborate hedges, but probably not many.
Click to expand...
If you wish. My ex was supposed to speak to immigration on her trip to the U.K. but she hasn't done so. If she wants to move there she can find out the information since it will apply to both of us.

 
RokNRole said:
Not with my credit score
Click to expand...
Go to the bank and given them $300 and get a secured credit card.  I helped a dozen families with bad credit buy a home last year and this is where we start the credit repair process.

And EG is right, you have to change your mindset some how, some way to get out of your rut.

Wake up each morning and tell yourself one thing that you are grateful for. Doesn't matter what it is. just do it everyday. After years of doing this, I often do it 3 to 5 times a day now.  It helps a ton to see things from a non depressed state, even if it's just for seconds.  Things never get perfect, but they do get much, much better.  

Six years ago I had a failing business and 200k in debt. Today that's all gone and I've taken several vacations this year. It took hard work to get to this place, but if I can do it at 57, anyone can do it. 

 
Getzlaf15 said:
Go to the bank and given them $300 and get a secured credit card.  I helped a dozen families with bad credit buy a home last year and this is where we start the credit repair process.

And EG is right, you have to change your mindset some how, some way to get out of your rut.

Wake up each morning and tell yourself one thing that you are grateful for. Doesn't matter what it is. just do it everyday. After years of doing this, I often do it 3 to 5 times a day now.  It helps a ton to see things from a non depressed state, even if it's just for seconds.  Things never get perfect, but they do get much, much better.  

Six years ago I had a failing business and 200k in debt. Today that's all gone and I've taken several vacations this year. It took hard work to get to this place, but if I can do it at 57, anyone can do it. 
Click to expand...
Can't build my credit with a 10k school loan in default for many years ( I also don't have $300).

People that are depressed cannot just will themselves to think positively. That's why they are depressed.

Our lives, abilities and resources are not comparable.

 
RokNRole said:
I cannot talk to my sister about anything serious so I avoid it. Same goes for all my relatives. Unless things are going well they don't want to hear from me or help me. They prefer to have no relationship with me.

Her husband and I are not close and my niece is a baby.
Click to expand...
I'm not saying you need to go to them for advice or to bounce problems off of them, just spend time with them.  Interact on a personal level.  It would be good for you, I think.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
I'm not saying you need to go to them for advice or to bounce problems off of them, just spend time with them.  Interact on a personal level.  It would be good for you, I think.
Click to expand...
In my state I'm not able to interact with anyone on any meaningful level. I have too much on my mind that worries me to have a normal chit chat with anyone.

I can't spend time with my sister and her family. They are in NY

 
RokNRole said:
Can't build my credit with a 10k school loan in default for many years ( I also don't have $300).

People that are depressed cannot just will themselves to think positively. That's why they are depressed.

Our lives, abilities and resources are not comparable.
Click to expand...
1) yes you can.  I've seen many with student debt do it.

2) That's debatable, and all the more reason to get help and have someone guide you through the process.

3) I started with nothing when I was 17 1/2 and on my own.  The only difference is that I chose to make many positive decisions. You choose to wallow in your mess, which just creates a bigger mess.

We're all the same and all very comparable.  You're not worse off than anyone else.

 
RokNRole said:
In my state I'm not able to interact with anyone on any meaningful level. I have too much on my mind that worries me to have a normal chit chat with anyone.

I can't spend time with my sister and her family. They are in NY
Click to expand...
You could visit (I don't have money to travel.)

You could move back to NY (too many bad memories there and I have a job in TX.)

You could Skype (I don't have the app.)

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
If I'm right, you wouldn't even necessarily be cognizant of it. 
Click to expand...
I wasn't depressed for 3 years when I had a good job and things were going well and looking up. If I had a subconscience need to be depressed I would have sabotaged myself well before I made it 3 years with one company.

I think its most likely that people in my position aren't comfortable with suffering they just don't have confidence to get out of it.

 
RokNRole said:
It's inedequate. Treatment was inadequate when I had Medicaid. Free clinic treatment will be even less so.
Click to expand...
the texting option? 1-800 number to speak to somebody?

I'm seeing end of days as literal here and want you to get help rather than the alternative... there are options out there. there's help out there. inadequate is better than nothing... take advantage of everything you can. you're worth it, Rok.

 
RokNRole said:
In my state I'm not able to interact with anyone on any meaningful level. I have too much on my mind that worries me to have a normal chit chat with anyone.
Click to expand...
Why can't you start going to a gym? If you don't have the money, start running in a park? Find a pickup basketball game? Simply hangout downtown at a coffee shop? There a plenty of things that don't require direct interaction and aren't expensive yet will provide a natural springboard to healthy and natural interaction after some time. 

 
Getzlaf15 said:
1) yes you can.  I've seen many with student debt do it.

2) That's debatable, and all the more reason to get help and have someone guide you through the process.

3) I started with nothing when I was 17 1/2 and on my own.  The only difference is that I chose to make many positive decisions. You choose to wallow in your mess, which just creates a bigger mess.

We're all the same and all very comparable.  You're not worse off than anyone else.
Click to expand...
Nobody chooses to wallow in a mess. That's absurd. You obviously don't know what depression feels like. You had some serious problems in your life but it's apparent you were never clinically depressed.

 
El Floppo said:
the texting option? 1-800 number to speak to somebody?

I'm seeing end of days as literal here and want you to get help rather than the alternative... there are options out there. there's help out there. inadequate is better than nothing... take advantage of everything you can. you're worth it, Rok.
Click to expand...
Speaking to a stranger is not going to help. Been there and done that. Doesn't work.

 
Zow said:
Why can't you start going to a gym? If you don't have the money, start running in a park? Find a pickup basketball game? Simply hangout downtown at a coffee shop? There a plenty of things that don't require direct interaction and aren't expensive yet will provide a natural springboard to healthy and natural interaction after some time. 
Click to expand...
When I have a day off I spend it in bed. I don't have energy to even throw out my garbage or put my plates in the dishwasher.

 
RokNRole said:
I don't think anything can help. My life should have never happened.
Click to expand...
try something. anything. text that number. call. tell them what you're saying in here and see if they have anything for you. keep going, gb- your life absolutely should have happened and should still be happening.

 
RokNRole said:
Nobody chooses to wallow in a mess. That's absurd. You obviously don't know what depression feels like. You had some serious problems in your life but it's apparent you were never clinically depressed.
Click to expand...
You choose it everyday.  You need help to find a way not to do that any longer, and you come up with every excuse and justification in your mind not to do it.

And I use to do this also, so don't ####### tell me I don't understand.


 
RokNRole said:
If I was making enough money to live and pay off my debt and had a girlfriend I trusted I would feel better. Neither of them seems likely to happen.
Click to expand...
ok- so work towards both of those goals one step at a time, however small the steps. you can get there if you keep going. 

 
Getzlaf15 said:
You choose it everyday.  You need help to find a way not to do that any longer, and you come up with every excuse and justification in your mind not to do it.

And I use to do this also, so don't ####### tell me I don't understand.
Click to expand...
Used to.......you didn't feel this way your entire life.

 
El Floppo said:
ok- so work towards both of those goals one step at a time, however small the steps. you can get there if you keep going. 
Click to expand...
My confidence is completely gone so neither of these things is going to happen. I have no marketable skills to any employer and women don't date broke waiters.

 
RokNRole said:
Used to.......you didn't feel this way your entire life.
Click to expand...
We all do it from time to time in various degrees.  Much less these days.  No way in hell is not reversible now matter how bad you have it. You just need to keep fighting and find the right person to help you. 

 
El Floppo said:
try something. anything. text that number. call. tell them what you're saying in here and see if they have anything for you. keep going, gb- your life absolutely should have happened and should still be happening.
Click to expand...
It's a struggle just to get out of bed. It's a struggle just to even distract my mind from wanting to die every second of every day.That's what nobody is understanding.

 
RokNRole said:
I tried for years. They can't help me. Not in my economic bracket.
Click to expand...
Stop with this.  I live in a ridiculously conservative state that enacts policies that aren't terribly helpful for indigent people.  I also live in a smaller, rural city.  And I can think of three places with professional help I could send and have sent indigent people to at any time.  

 
Zow said:
Stop with this.  I live in a ridiculously conservative state that enacts policies that aren't terribly helpful for indigent people.  I also live in a smaller, rural city.  And I can think of three places with professional help I could send and have sent indigent people to at any time.  
Click to expand...
Not sure what you are saying.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

odin33
Seeking medical and legal advice- Handling of daughter's outpatient surgery
Replies
15
Views
703
Terminalxylem
Terminalxylem
rockaction
So I Was Exchanging, Uh, Telephone Lines With Juju Smith-Schuster This Morning
Replies
12
Views
715
rockaction
rockaction
Senor Schmutzig
I had a heart attack this weekend...
2 3
Replies
115
Views
4K
Mr.Pack
Mr.Pack

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Back
Top