Stable life, meet college flame (1 Viewer)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Yes this is an alias account. Mostly a lurker, but better safe than sorry.

Which LOTR Character Are You?

I like your quiz. I got "Carl Drogo".

I got the Midnight Oil singer

 

[cstu]

I think there is too much railing on that he should be happy with his marriage. If he isn't happy, he isn't happy. You can't manufacture love imo. If you are then it isn't really love.

He is a selfish dirtbag because he isn't man enough to end it with his wife if he doesn't love her anymore. She is supposedly his best friend, but best friends don't go behind each other's backs and betray them. Best friends talk to each other, I'm guessing he hasn't told his wife that things are bothering him, or if he did he didn't convey them to be as serious as they are. He has been dishonest long before he ever had this fling.

Love is like inspirado, you can't manufacture it. Well, sometimes you can.

 

[cstu]

Yes this is an alias account. Mostly a lurker, but better safe than sorry.

Which LOTR Character Are You?

I like your quiz. I got "Carl Drogo".

I got the Midnight Oil singer

I'm a Cyclone, what did I do wrong?

 

[Tau837]

I've read things on this board about reasons why marriages fall apart and sometimes, it's for the absolute best. The marriage has become a bad thing for both parties and for the kids. Mental health issues. Infidelity. Trust issues. Drugs. Whatever.

But what disturbs me about this, assuming the OP isn't fishing, is the casualness. I mean, when you step up to the preacher or justice of the peace and you say "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE." That doesn't mean, "until I get a little bored and a hot piece of ### that I have always been attracted to comes around."

I mean, come on. Doesn't your vow mean anything?? I am not so naive that I think that all marriages are gonna last forever. I've had discussions with my pastor who told me he has recommended divorce sometimes because a marriage was so far gone. This doesn't seem like one of those times.

The OP doesn't seem to realize that love is not just a feeling in your loins. It's a commitment. It's being willing to sacrifice. It's a decision. Feelings are only a very small part of love. Feelings come and go. That's why love has to be conscious will because if you leave it to feeling and emotion, nobody would stay married. I love my wife dearly, but sometimes I want to throw her through a wall. That's what marriage is. Getting through those days and telling yourself that how ever you feel at this particular moment, that's my wife. That's my partner for life. The days where you are all over each other, those days are easy. Anybody can do that. That's not what love is. Love is getting through the hard days.

One of the best posts I have read in this forum.

 

[MikeIke]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

You haven't had contact with her for 15 years prior to this. Her personality, interests, goals etc have changed. You are hung up on the college girl you used to know, not on the grown woman she is now. You're still in the honeymoon stage with your hot new piece of ###. You're probably thanking your lucky stars that you finally got to hook up with a chick you were in lust with in college. But that college girl doesn't exist anymore.

Do not tell your wife.

Tell Chesty McMistress that you made a mistake and you two shouldn't have contact anymore.

Go to counseling and get your head together.

Don't ever cheat again.

 

[Slapdash]

I think there is too much railing on that he should be happy with his marriage. If he isn't happy, he isn't happy. You can't manufacture love imo. If you are then it isn't really love.

He is a selfish dirtbag because he isn't man enough to end it with his wife if he doesn't love her anymore. She is supposedly his best friend, but best friends don't go behind each other's backs and betray them. Best friends talk to each other, I'm guessing he hasn't told his wife that things are bothering him, or if he did he didn't convey them to be as serious as they are. He has been dishonest long before he ever had this fling.

Best friends and people who are in love can certainly betray people and be less than honest with them.

 

[offdee]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

 

[Foosball God]

I think there is too much railing on that he should be happy with his marriage. If he isn't happy, he isn't happy. You can't manufacture love imo. If you are then it isn't really love.

He is a selfish dirtbag because he isn't man enough to end it with his wife if he doesn't love her anymore. She is supposedly his best friend, but best friends don't go behind each other's backs and betray them. Best friends talk to each other, I'm guessing he hasn't told his wife that things are bothering him, or if he did he didn't convey them to be as serious as they are. He has been dishonest long before he ever had this fling.

Best friends and people who are in love can certainly betray people and be less than honest with them.

Then I would put forth that they really aren't best friends then.

 

[cstu]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

 

[boots11234]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

. nice

 

[George Jefferson Airplane]

The faux outrage that these types of threads always produce is interesting to me.

 

[offdee]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Yeah and she's a famous swimsuit model. Now picture those things on an even thinner torso.

 

[johnnycakes]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Yeah and she's a famous swimsuit model. Now picture those things on an even thinner torso.

My back hurts.

 

[shadyridr]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Yeah and she's a famous swimsuit model. Now picture those things on an even thinner torso.

####, I just ripped a hole in my pants

 

[Al O'Pecia]

Best friends and people who are in love can certainly betray people and be less than honest with them.

Proof

 

[Fbguser]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Flame certainly is not an international swimwear model, but her build is in the neighborhood of that image.

 

[Tom Servo]

So I guess it's better to die at a ripe old age having lived with a loveless marriage simply to avoid breaking some vows?

People change. They're not in love anymore. Why should the OP remain in the relationship when a deep and meaningful relationship makes life so much more rewarding.

OP, I'm in the camp of don't cheat anymore, get separated, then do whatever the hell makes you happy.

And that's why there are so many divorces. If love is only a feeling, then I guess you could fall out of love. If love is a conscious decision, then it's up to you to love your wife and it's up to her to love you back.

You loved each other enough to commit to life at one time. Why don't you try to create some of the magic that you had at one time. It takes some work. It's not easy. But that's what marriage is.

Life is not a movie. Sometimes the person you knew at 30 isn't the same person at 45. Sometimes no how matter how hard you work, the feelings are gone. You only have one go-round in this life, why spend it depriving yourself of love if it may be out there for you?

It's ok to get divorced.

But, then again, neither are you. You both have to adapt as the other grows and matures. It's not a one way street.

 

[mr roboto]

There are grown men who believe that 'life is about your personal happiness' and 'oh well people change'?

Divorce in the case of infidelity, abuse or complete neglect are fine. Because you are bored or 'You've changed'? Screw that.

 

[Sweet J]

If you aren't happy with your wife, then get divorced for goodness sakes. YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS. There are 1000 men on this forum who are "a little unhappy" with their wives, but they have kids and leaving really isn't an option. They laugh at your quandry.

1. Stop being a putz.

2. I could care less about the morality of cheating. Whatever, man. People do all sorts of crappy things, then they want to sh-t on you because the crappy thing you are doing is worse then some other crappy thing.

3. With the above in mind, there are a million reasons why cheating is frowned upon. But most notably, it leads to pain. For yourself, for your partner, and for the "new" person (unless you just want to be a serial cheater with no intent on leaving. That probably leads to pain as well, but not the kind of heartache than your kind of cheating leads to). So it really is best if you stop. But, like a dog who needs to be whacked on the nose when he sh-t's on the rug, you won't stop until someone hits you over the head with the Sunday edition. You are probably too far gone at this point; good luck with stopping, Chach.

4. So, again, with the above in mind, you need to clear your head. Have McFunbags go home, no contact with her, while you work out what you want to work out.

5. In short: If you would leave your wife if Titty Miguire got kidnapped by aliens never to return to earth, then leave. If the only reason you'd leave is because she is in the picture, then you are putting yourself in line for a world of hurt. And the only way to figure that out is to have a temporary time out with Boppy McBopperson.

6. None of the above matters, because you are in the thick of it with Funpants.

7. Don't f-cking tell your wife. Jesus Christ that's bad advice. Would you want to know if your wife had a little trist? (no. No, you wouldn't).

 

[Henry Ford]

If you aren't happy with your wife, then get divorced for goodness sakes. YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS. There are 1000 men on this forum who are "a little unhappy" with their wives, but they have kids and leaving really isn't an option.

1. Stop being a putz.

2. I could care less about the morality of cheating. Whatever, man. People do all sorts of crappy things, then they want to sh-t on you because the crappy thing you are doing is worse then some other crappy thing.

3. With the above in mind, there are a million reasons why cheating is frowned upon. But most notably, it leads to pain. For yourself, for your partner, and for the "new" person (unless you just want to be a serial cheater with no intent on leaving. That probably leads to pain as well, but not the kind of heartache than your kind of cheating leads to).

4. So, again, with the above in mind, you need to clear your head. Have McFunbags go home, no contact with her, while you work out what you want to work out.

5. In short: If you would leave your wife if Titty Miguire got kidnapped by aliens never to return to earth, then leave. If the only reason you'd leave is because she is in the picture, then you are putting yourself in line for a world of hurt. And the only way to figure that out is to have a temporary time out with Boppy McBopperson.

6. None of the above matters, because you are in the thick of it with Funpants.

7. Don't f-cking tell your wife. Jesus Christ that's bad advice. Would you want to know if your wife had a little trist? (no. No, you wouldn't).

Jesus, how many affairs is this guy having?

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

If you aren't happy with your wife, then get divorced for goodness sakes. YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS. There are 1000 men on this forum who are "a little unhappy" with their wives, but they have kids and leaving really isn't an option.

1. Stop being a putz.

2. I could care less about the morality of cheating. Whatever, man. People do all sorts of crappy things, then they want to sh-t on you because the crappy thing you are doing is worse then some other crappy thing.

3. With the above in mind, there are a million reasons why cheating is frowned upon. But most notably, it leads to pain. For yourself, for your partner, and for the "new" person (unless you just want to be a serial cheater with no intent on leaving. That probably leads to pain as well, but not the kind of heartache than your kind of cheating leads to).

4. So, again, with the above in mind, you need to clear your head. Have McFunbags go home, no contact with her, while you work out what you want to work out.

5. In short: If you would leave your wife if Titty Miguire got kidnapped by aliens never to return to earth, then leave. If the only reason you'd leave is because she is in the picture, then you are putting yourself in line for a world of hurt. And the only way to figure that out is to have a temporary time out with Boppy McBopperson.

6. None of the above matters, because you are in the thick of it with Funpants.

7. Don't f-cking tell your wife. Jesus Christ that's bad advice. Would you want to know if your wife had a little trist? (no. No, you wouldn't).

Jesus, how many affairs is this guy having?

And why does he pick them all up at McDonald's?

 

[Henry Ford]

If you aren't happy with your wife, then get divorced for goodness sakes. YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS. There are 1000 men on this forum who are "a little unhappy" with their wives, but they have kids and leaving really isn't an option.

1. Stop being a putz.

2. I could care less about the morality of cheating. Whatever, man. People do all sorts of crappy things, then they want to sh-t on you because the crappy thing you are doing is worse then some other crappy thing.

3. With the above in mind, there are a million reasons why cheating is frowned upon. But most notably, it leads to pain. For yourself, for your partner, and for the "new" person (unless you just want to be a serial cheater with no intent on leaving. That probably leads to pain as well, but not the kind of heartache than your kind of cheating leads to).

4. So, again, with the above in mind, you need to clear your head. Have McFunbags go home, no contact with her, while you work out what you want to work out.

5. In short: If you would leave your wife if Titty Miguire got kidnapped by aliens never to return to earth, then leave. If the only reason you'd leave is because she is in the picture, then you are putting yourself in line for a world of hurt. And the only way to figure that out is to have a temporary time out with Boppy McBopperson.

6. None of the above matters, because you are in the thick of it with Funpants.

7. Don't f-cking tell your wife. Jesus Christ that's bad advice. Would you want to know if your wife had a little trist? (no. No, you wouldn't).

Jesus, how many affairs is this guy having?

And why does he pick them all up at McDonald's?

Nice. You should send a link to this post to Eminence.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

If you aren't happy with your wife, then get divorced for goodness sakes. YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS. There are 1000 men on this forum who are "a little unhappy" with their wives, but they have kids and leaving really isn't an option.

1. Stop being a putz.

2. I could care less about the morality of cheating. Whatever, man. People do all sorts of crappy things, then they want to sh-t on you because the crappy thing you are doing is worse then some other crappy thing.

3. With the above in mind, there are a million reasons why cheating is frowned upon. But most notably, it leads to pain. For yourself, for your partner, and for the "new" person (unless you just want to be a serial cheater with no intent on leaving. That probably leads to pain as well, but not the kind of heartache than your kind of cheating leads to).

4. So, again, with the above in mind, you need to clear your head. Have McFunbags go home, no contact with her, while you work out what you want to work out.

5. In short: If you would leave your wife if Titty Miguire got kidnapped by aliens never to return to earth, then leave. If the only reason you'd leave is because she is in the picture, then you are putting yourself in line for a world of hurt. And the only way to figure that out is to have a temporary time out with Boppy McBopperson.

6. None of the above matters, because you are in the thick of it with Funpants.

7. Don't f-cking tell your wife. Jesus Christ that's bad advice. Would you want to know if your wife had a little trist? (no. No, you wouldn't).

Jesus, how many affairs is this guy having?

And why does he pick them all up at McDonald's?

Nice. You should send a link to this post to Eminence.

Meh. The rest of us are all playing for silver.

 

[Zow]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

 

[johnnycakes]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

 

[cstu]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Flame certainly is not an international swimwear model, but her build is in the neighborhood of that image.

Screw all these prudes, I don't blame you one bit.

 

[Zow]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Holy Christ

 

[cstu]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

Kids, amirite?

 

[Zow]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

 

[Zow]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature.

In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

 

[Gary Coal Man]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Your statement is controversial because it's not always true. When I married my wife I still had strong feelings for my ex, and those feelings were stronger than the ones I had for the woman I was about to marry. There was too much water under the bridge with the ex, however, and even though I loved her I knew that we were different people with different desires about what we wanted from life going forward.

My marriage is still going strong and I love my wife despite the fact that I had stronger feelings for another woman when I married.

 

[Zow]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Your statement is controversial because it's not always true. When I married my wife I still had strong feelings for my ex, and those feelings were stronger than the ones I had for the woman I was about to marry. There was too much water under the bridge with the ex, however, and even though I loved her I knew that we were different people with different desires about what we wanted from life going forward.

My marriage is still going strong and I love my wife despite the fact that I had stronger feelings for another woman when I married.

Oh, so we're talking about exes now?

Well, then...

 

[TheIronSheik]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature.

In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

 

[Bucky86]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Your statement is controversial because it's not always true. When I married my wife I still had strong feelings for my ex, and those feelings were stronger than the ones I had for the woman I was about to marry. There was too much water under the bridge with the ex, however, and even though I loved her I knew that we were different people with different desires about what we wanted from life going forward.

My marriage is still going strong and I love my wife despite the fact that I had stronger feelings for another woman when I married.

And we usually crave more of what we can't have.

 

[Premier]

Does she swallow

 

[Gary Coal Man]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Your statement is controversial because it's not always true. When I married my wife I still had strong feelings for my ex, and those feelings were stronger than the ones I had for the woman I was about to marry. There was too much water under the bridge with the ex, however, and even though I loved her I knew that we were different people with different desires about what we wanted from life going forward.

My marriage is still going strong and I love my wife despite the fact that I had stronger feelings for another woman when I married.

And we usually crave more of what we can't have.

No, I could have had her. I was the one who called things off and she wanted to get back together. I made the right decision. I won't say "no regrets", but I like my life now and don't see the point looking back and longing.

 

[jamny]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Holy Christ

I can't help but click that link every time someone bumps it. wow.

 

[Gary Coal Man]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Your statement is controversial because it's not always true. When I married my wife I still had strong feelings for my ex, and those feelings were stronger than the ones I had for the woman I was about to marry. There was too much water under the bridge with the ex, however, and even though I loved her I knew that we were different people with different desires about what we wanted from life going forward.

My marriage is still going strong and I love my wife despite the fact that I had stronger feelings for another woman when I married.

Oh, so we're talking about exes now?

Well, then...

Why does it make a difference if the woman is an ex or old flame if the issue is having stronger feelings for a woman other than your wife?

 

[Jayrok]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature.

In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know the OP and his intentions for doing what he did, but I don't think most people set out to hurt their wives or families. When I said life is too short not to try and find happiness, I certainly did not mean stay in the marriage and continue to see the other woman. I meant settle things with the wife then make a decision on what you want... then go find it. You can't have both. If you can find happiness with the wife, then wonderful. If not, make that decision.. but do not continue to hurt her by going behind her back.

 

[mr roboto]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature. In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know the OP and his intentions for doing what he did, but I don't think most people set out to hurt their wives or families. When I said life is too short not to try and find happiness, I certainly did not mean stay in the marriage and continue to see the other woman. I meant settle things with the wife then make a decision on what you want... then go find it. You can't have both. If you can find happiness with the wife, then wonderful. If not, make that decision.. but do not continue to hurt her by going behind her back.

Happiness isn't something you hunt down, catch, find and it stays. It's laregly a function of contentment, which is largely a volitional choice. No one 'finds happiness.' They make it and choose to be content with it.

 

[Zow]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Your statement is controversial because it's not always true. When I married my wife I still had strong feelings for my ex, and those feelings were stronger than the ones I had for the woman I was about to marry. There was too much water under the bridge with the ex, however, and even though I loved her I knew that we were different people with different desires about what we wanted from life going forward.

My marriage is still going strong and I love my wife despite the fact that I had stronger feelings for another woman when I married.

Oh, so we're talking about exes now?

Well, then...

Why does it make a difference if the woman is an ex or old flame if the issue is having stronger feelings for a woman other than your wife?

I'm taking this as a compliment. And that I'm now old guard here.

 

[Sweet J]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature. In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know the OP and his intentions for doing what he did, but I don't think most people set out to hurt their wives or families. When I said life is too short not to try and find happiness, I certainly did not mean stay in the marriage and continue to see the other woman. I meant settle things with the wife then make a decision on what you want... then go find it. You can't have both. If you can find happiness with the wife, then wonderful. If not, make that decision.. but do not continue to hurt her by going behind her back.

Happiness isn't something you hunt down, catch, find and it stays. It's laregly a function of contentment, which is largely a volitional choice. No one 'finds happiness.' They make it and choose to be content with it.

If he is in a sucky marriage with no real hope of it being unsucky, then jesus he should get out of it. He has a much better chance of "finding happiness" if he's not tethered to someone he doesn't like.

If he is just in a temporary funk unrelated to his long-term feelings about his wife, and has a chance of pulling out of it, then he should be cautious about "untethering."

Either way, a person certainly can put himself in an environment that would give himself a greater or lesser chance of "finding happiness." Yes, yes, it is a state of mind. I get it. But it's a lot harder to "find happiness" when you live with an awful spouse.

 

[Jayrok]

Happiness isn't something you hunt down, catch, find and it stays. It's laregly a function of contentment, which is largely a volitional choice. No one 'finds happiness.' They make it and choose to be content with it.

Nonsense. If you aren't happy in a marriage, you can choose to be content with what you have, sure. That works ok for some. Or you can sever ties and do something that will make you happy. Happiness varies, of course, with different individuals.

 

[mr roboto]

^^^Sweet J I agree if the current situation is truly awful. If it's in a funk or she's gained some weight or the kids are stressful or the sex isn't as good, no, those aren't great inhibitors of 'happiness'. That's called life.

If someone defines happiness primarily as a function of circumstances, they will never be happy. Ever.

Interesting...

http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-makes-us-happy/0007967

The hedonic treadmill hypothesis states that just as we adjust our walking or running speed to match the speed of the treadmill, we adjust our moods to match lifes circumstances. Direct evidence for the hypothesis comes from studies investigating people who have experienced either extremely positive (group 1) or extremely negative (group 2) life events. People in Group 1 are happier than people in group 2, but often for very short times. Consider the following examples:

Big lottery winners report being super happy after winning the lottery. However, their happiness falls to baseline levels about two months later. People who become paralyzed from the waist down return to almost baseline levels of happiness within a few months after the accident (Silver, 1982; Lilienfeld et al., 2010).

Young professors who are denied tenure are very upset after receiving the news, but within a few years they are just about as happy as those young professors who received tenure. Negative events can sometimes produce life-long decreases in happiness. Divorce, loss of a loved one, or loss of a job can lead to permanent decreases in happiness (Diener et al., 2006).

 

[Brony]

How do you know the specific details that she has 30 F's? Did you say, woah those are huge...what size are those things?!

A recent ex had fakies...32 E's and those things were huge on her 5'4" frame. Thinking about a girl with bigger bewbs, on a smaller frame seems ridiculous in my head.

32F

Yeah and she's a famous swimsuit model. Now picture those things on an even thinner torso.

####, I just ripped a hole in my pants

Now imagine the hole is in the front.

 

[Parrothead]

when you add flame to stable, you burn the barn down

 

[Zow]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature.

In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know the OP and his intentions for doing what he did, but I don't think most people set out to hurt their wives or families. When I said life is too short not to try and find happiness, I certainly did not mean stay in the marriage and continue to see the other woman. I meant settle things with the wife then make a decision on what you want... then go find it. You can't have both. If you can find happiness with the wife, then wonderful. If not, make that decision.. but do not continue to hurt her by going behind her back.

1. You don't know the OP's intentions? Seriously? He's banging the hot chick he used to be super into after years of monogamy with a wife he isn't that physically into anymore. Heck, he even noted that despite this amazingly deep connection they never dated - so that's code for he was in the "friend zone". Now, to his much delight, he's tasting the forbidden. Imagine if you got to bang that hot chick (head cheerleader, smart pretty girl who always dated older guys, whatever) you pined for for years. That's why he's doing this. That's why he's on cloud 9 and seems so casual. Dude's happy as can be right now.

2. That said, finding happiness to me suggests that it is a long-term thing. This guy doesn't know it/can't see it, but odds are his decision to be with this old flame will cause him less happiness over time. And he's hurting his innocent wife. That's why most aren't saying to go be with this woman.

 

[Apple Jack]

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the other person does not want to be there and is sticking around merely out of a sense of obligation.

 

[Jayrok]

2. That said, finding happiness to me suggests that it is a long-term thing. This guy doesn't know it/can't see it, but odds are his decision to be with this old flame will cause him less happiness over time. And he's hurting his innocent wife. That's why most aren't saying to go be with this woman.

I don't disagree that he may find himself less happy after the newness dies down. I hate the fact that he is hurting his wife. Like I said above, I think everyone deserves to find their own version of happiness, but certainly not while hurting your family along the way. He should stop seeing the old flame until he figures out what he wants to do with his marriage.

To be clear, I never suggested that he run off with this woman and leave his wife. My comments were more towards being in a loveless marriage because people say that is the thing to do. It only gets worse over time.

 

[shadyridr]

What good does telling the wife do?