Stable life, meet college flame (1 Viewer)

[johnnycakes]

What good does telling the wife do?

It helps the cheater feel better by getting it off his chest, of course!

 

[TheIronSheik]

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the other person does not want to be there and is sticking around merely out of a sense of obligation.

I'm not saying stick around. If you're unhappy, get a divorce. Tell your significant other and leave. Don't stay with them and cheat on them.

 

[PatsWillWin]

Where did your wife think you were? I'd be curious about the lie you gave her.

Where were SuperCans' kids? I'd be curious where she left them while she went to bang a married guy in a motel.

 

[moleculo]

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the other person does not want to be there and is sticking around merely out of a sense of obligation.

I'm not saying stick around. If you're unhappy, get a divorce. Tell your significant other and leave. Don't stay with them and cheat on them.

the problem is, it doesn't sound like OP was in an unhappy marriage, just a stale one.

 

[Abraham]

What good does telling the wife do?

It helps the cheater feel better by getting it off his chest, of course!

I think that cheaters disclose the deed to put the other person in a position to leave them so they don't have to initiate the breakup themselves.

 

[Apple Jack]

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the other person does not want to be there and is sticking around merely out of a sense of obligation.

I'm not saying stick around. If you're unhappy, get a divorce. Tell your significant other and leave. Don't stay with them and cheat on them.

Ah. In that case

 

[TheIronSheik]

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the other person does not want to be there and is sticking around merely out of a sense of obligation.

I'm not saying stick around. If you're unhappy, get a divorce. Tell your significant other and leave. Don't stay with them and cheat on them.

the problem is, it doesn't sound like OP was in an unhappy marriage, just a stale one.

You're either unhappy or your not. If you're in a stale marriage, fix it. Cheating on your current wife is not a fix. If you are cheating on your wife, then you are an #######. If you are no longer happy, get a divorce and go try to find happiness.

 

[sublimeone]

Here's what it seems like in my estimation: OP was not in the same league as Flame back in the college days. Like others have mentioned, he pined for her and she did not return his affections. Sure she probably led him on, let him think he had a chance but the reason things never worked out was because she was never interested.

Meahwhile, OP met a nice girl.. someone more on his level of attractiveness. He got married and is living a normal, mundane, suburban life. He would consider himself happy and would say that he loves his wife.

Fast-forward to today. Flames life is a mess but maybe she's still attractive, although she probably isn't nearly as hot as OP is describing. Anyhow, she's lonely and this seems like a nice short term solution for some intimacy with an old friend, someone she feels safe with, someone she hasn't been in touch with, who doesn't know about all her baggage. Meanwhile OP is falling head-over-heels in love with her and is seriously considering flushing his current life down the drain because he's in a state of euphoria over banging this idealized obsession of his youth.

Flame will string him along for a bit... just like the old days, but this ends with OP losing his wife and winding up lonely, living by himself, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

Here's what it seems like in my estimation: OP was not in the same league as Flame back in the college days. Like others have mentioned, he pined for her and she did not return his affections. Sure she probably led him on, let him think he had a chance but the reason things never worked out was because she was never interested.

Meahwhile, OP met a nice girl.. someone more on his level of attractiveness. He got married and is living a normal, mundane, suburban life. He would consider himself happy and would say that he loves his wife.

Fast-forward to today. Flames life is a mess but maybe she's still attractive, although she probably isn't nearly as hot as OP is describing. Anyhow, she's lonely and this seems like a nice short term solution for some intimacy with an old friend, someone she feels safe with, someone she hasn't been in touch with, who doesn't know about all her baggage. Meanwhile OP is falling head-over-heels in love with her and is seriously considering flushing his current life down the drain because he's in a state of euphoria over banging this idealized obsession of his youth.

Flame will string him along for a bit... just like the old days, but this ends with OP losing his wife and winding up lonely, living by himself, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have a brother in law who was married to a gal for 19 years - she decided to end the marriage and walked away. B-I-L left to raise the two teenagers. Not long after the divorce. B-I-L runs into an old high school flame - thrice divorced - with 3 kids. B-I-L falls head over heels and spends all of his time for 5 years doting on the old flame, meanwhile basically just feeding and watering his own kids but spending all his non-working hours with that old flame. Poor kids essentially just parented themselves. Flash forward to this week, after 5 years - the old flame has kids out of the house now, no longer needs a Daddy figure fo the kids - so dumps B-I-L.

B-I-L (now 50) has to restart all over, now having wasted the last 5 years of his own kids life by being an absentee dad and now his own kids have no discipline because they have been raising themselves.

Moral of the story - look before you leap. Assess yur priorities before making rash decisions.

 

[boots11234]

Where did your wife think you were? I'd be curious about the lie you gave her.

Where were SuperCans' kids? I'd be curious where she left them while she went to bang a married guy in a motel.

A motel with a scale mister!!

 

[Fbguser]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

My thread is now complete. The Woz stopped by showed off both bad reading & math skills in one post.

 

[jomar]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

 

[Fbguser]

Here's what it seems like in my estimation: OP was not in the same league as Flame back in the college days. Like others have mentioned, he pined for her and she did not return his affections. Sure she probably led him on, let him think he had a chance but the reason things never worked out was because she was never interested.

Meahwhile, OP met a nice girl.. someone more on his level of attractiveness. He got married and is living a normal, mundane, suburban life. He would consider himself happy and would say that he loves his wife.

Fast-forward to today. Flames life is a mess but maybe she's still attractive, although she probably isn't nearly as hot as OP is describing. Anyhow, she's lonely and this seems like a nice short term solution for some intimacy with an old friend, someone she feels safe with, someone she hasn't been in touch with, who doesn't know about all her baggage. Meanwhile OP is falling head-over-heels in love with her and is seriously considering flushing his current life down the drain because he's in a state of euphoria over banging this idealized obsession of his youth.

Flame will string him along for a bit... just like the old days, but this ends with OP losing his wife and winding up lonely, living by himself, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This is a good guess but incorrect. She was confused as to why I never tried to pursue her further. I was fresh off a relationship-gone-sour and was in a position with lots of options crossing my path. I chose to sew the proverbial oats a bit.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Where did your wife think you were? I'd be curious about the lie you gave her.

Where were SuperCans' kids? I'd be curious where she left them while she went to bang a married guy in a motel.

In a locked car but with the windows cracked because she's a good mother.

 

[cstu]

Flame will string him along for a bit... just like the old days, but this ends with OP losing his wife and winding up lonely, living by himself, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Wives are a dime a dozen for good looking, rich FBG's like ourselves.

 

[moleculo]

I don't know who would want a long term relationship with a woman who sleeps with married men.

 

[Man In The Box]

What good does telling the wife do?

I only suggested telling his wife if he plans on staying with her. Get ALL of your marital problems out in the open if you truly want to try and fix your marriage. This also gives the wife the knowledge of who she is truly married to, and allows her the choice to decide if she wants to even bother fixing it. He owes her that, at least IMO.

You think she's gonna be upset? It will be nothing compared to her finding out on her own later down the line, and she will find out.

I've seen my share of infidelity and failed marriages. I have a friend who ran around on his wife. He broke things off with the fling and his wife found out a few years later. Made his life a living hell before finally divorcing him and took his kids halfway across the country. He sees them once or twice a year. All for some strange.

 

[xulf]

#### #### #### #####

 

[cstu]

I have a brother in law who was married to a gal for 19 years - she decided to end the marriage and walked away. B-I-L left to raise the two teenagers. Not long after the divorce. B-I-L runs into an old high school flame - thrice divorced - with 3 kids. B-I-L falls head over heels and spends all of his time for 5 years doting on the old flame, meanwhile basically just feeding and watering his own kids but spending all his non-working hours with that old flame. Poor kids essentially just parented themselves. Flash forward to this week, after 5 years - the old flame has kids out of the house now, no longer needs a Daddy figure fo the kids - so dumps B-I-L.

B-I-L (now 50) has to restart all over, now having wasted the last 5 years of his own kids life by being an absentee dad and now his own kids have no discipline because they have been raising themselves.

Moral of the story - look before you leap. Assess yur priorities before making rash decisions.

Moral of the story - don't be a ####ty father. Don't see how this is relevant.

 

[cstu]

I don't know who would want a long term relationship with a woman who sleeps with married men.

Rich and 30F.

 

[sublimeone]

Here's what it seems like in my estimation: OP was not in the same league as Flame back in the college days. Like others have mentioned, he pined for her and she did not return his affections. Sure she probably led him on, let him think he had a chance but the reason things never worked out was because she was never interested.

Meahwhile, OP met a nice girl.. someone more on his level of attractiveness. He got married and is living a normal, mundane, suburban life. He would consider himself happy and would say that he loves his wife.

Fast-forward to today. Flames life is a mess but maybe she's still attractive, although she probably isn't nearly as hot as OP is describing. Anyhow, she's lonely and this seems like a nice short term solution for some intimacy with an old friend, someone she feels safe with, someone she hasn't been in touch with, who doesn't know about all her baggage. Meanwhile OP is falling head-over-heels in love with her and is seriously considering flushing his current life down the drain because he's in a state of euphoria over banging this idealized obsession of his youth.

Flame will string him along for a bit... just like the old days, but this ends with OP losing his wife and winding up lonely, living by himself, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This is a good guess but incorrect. She was confused as to why I never tried to pursue her further. I was fresh off a relationship-gone-sour and was in a position with lots of options crossing my path. I chose to sew the proverbial oats a bit.

If you say so... you just don't seem like someone who sewed many oats back in the day. Doesn't really seem to be out of your system. I can't think of any other reason why someone would destroy their marriage so casually. That or is this is a fishing trip... which it's starting to feel like.

 

[Ned Ryerson]

Here's what it seems like in my estimation: OP was not in the same league as Flame back in the college days. Like others have mentioned, he pined for her and she did not return his affections. Sure she probably led him on, let him think he had a chance but the reason things never worked out was because she was never interested.

Meahwhile, OP met a nice girl.. someone more on his level of attractiveness. He got married and is living a normal, mundane, suburban life. He would consider himself happy and would say that he loves his wife.

Fast-forward to today. Flames life is a mess but maybe she's still attractive, although she probably isn't nearly as hot as OP is describing. Anyhow, she's lonely and this seems like a nice short term solution for some intimacy with an old friend, someone she feels safe with, someone she hasn't been in touch with, who doesn't know about all her baggage. Meanwhile OP is falling head-over-heels in love with her and is seriously considering flushing his current life down the drain because he's in a state of euphoria over banging this idealized obsession of his youth.

Flame will string him along for a bit... just like the old days, but this ends with OP losing his wife and winding up lonely, living by himself, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This is a good guess but incorrect. She was confused as to why I never tried to pursue her further. I was fresh off a relationship-gone-sour and was in a position with lots of options crossing my path. I chose to sew the proverbial oats a bit.

Like with a needle and thread?

 

[Fbguser]

I'm not sure that "I've always kind of been in love with someone else" is all that casual a reason to break your vows.

I don't have any advice. I think the OP knows what he wants, and I don't have any special insight to offer about that. But I'm not sure how helpful a lot of the advice in this thread has been. Most of it has boiled down to telling him he's an ####### for wanting what he wants or telling him to somehow magically want something different.

I think the ####### part is going out and getting what he wants when he's violating his wife's trust and lying to her in a (supposedly) good and committed marriage. I don't think anyone thinks he's an ####### for wanting to sleep with someone else.

Right. Anybody who is saying that he doesn't understand what or why the OP is doing what he is doing is full of it. Heck, I've only been married about a year and a half, still get as much sex as I want with my wife and am in lust as well as in love with her plenty, and there are still times where I, for just a moment, want to bang something else. It's human nature. In this case, I understand what the OP is doing. I'm when she he's in bed with those fun bags in his face nothing else in life really matters. But I still think his decision is a pretty terrible one and the sympathy I have for his wife makes me want to call him an #######.

That's the thing. People can say that you only live once and that you have to do what makes you happy. But that's a pretty crappy way to live life. Hurting others just to make yourself happy is incredibly shallow. You should be able to live a happy life without ruining others happiness. And I find it pretty sad that a lot of people can't grasp that concept.

I don't know the OP and his intentions for doing what he did, but I don't think most people set out to hurt their wives or families. When I said life is too short not to try and find happiness, I certainly did not mean stay in the marriage and continue to see the other woman. I meant settle things with the wife then make a decision on what you want... then go find it. You can't have both. If you can find happiness with the wife, then wonderful. If not, make that decision.. but do not continue to hurt her by going behind her back.

1. You don't know the OP's intentions? Seriously? He's banging the hot chick he used to be super into after years of monogamy with a wife he isn't that physically into anymore. Heck, he even noted that despite this amazingly deep connection they never dated - so that's code for he was in the "friend zone". Now, to his much delight, he's tasting the forbidden. Imagine if you got to bang that hot chick (head cheerleader, smart pretty girl who always dated older guys, whatever) you pined for for years. That's why he's doing this. That's why he's on cloud 9 and seems so casual. Dude's happy as can be right now. 2. That said, finding happiness to me suggests that it is a long-term thing. This guy doesn't know it/can't see it, but odds are his decision to be with this old flame will cause him less happiness over time. And he's hurting his innocent wife. That's why most aren't saying to go be with this woman.

Yet again, Christopher Wozlumbus is yelling about discovering America while standing in Spain.

 

[proninja]

I don't know who would want a long term relationship with a woman who sleeps with married men.

A married man who sleeps with other women?

 

[proninja]

You should ask #### McGee for her ex husband's number. What he has to say about being married to her would probably be good to hear.

 

[Widbil83]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

 

[Fbguser]

Well, it appears this thread has run its course. The ratio of funny and constructive posts to wild speculation and flaming has crossed that point, I think. While I certainly deserve to be flamed (especially in an entertaining manner) , the same post 8x a page does not a good thread, make.

I may drop back in tomorrow to tie up any loose ends. Thanks to those who took the time to share advice, both positive and negative.

 

[Bucky86]

Well, it appears this thread has run its course. The ratio of funny and constructive posts to wild speculation and flaming has crossed that point, I think. While I certainly deserve to be flamed (especially in an entertaining manner) , the same post 8x a page does not a good thread, make.

I may drop back in tomorrow to tie up any loose ends. Thanks to those who took the time to share advice, both positive and negative.

"Everyone agrees that I'm a total scumbag, so I'm taking my ball and going home."

 

[Sweet J]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

It's not really rocket science. He doesn't want to give details so he can't be caught. Don't pretend you don't know why he doesn't want to give details.

 

[Foosball God]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

It's not really rocket science, dumb-###. He doesn't want to give details so he can't be caught. Don't pretend you don't know why he doesn't want to give details.

I agree with you, but I have to if he thinks this message board is how he's going to get caught. If he gets caught it will be because of some real trail he left or Wonder Boobies decides to destroy his marriage.

 

[Bucky86]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

It's not really rocket science, dumb-###. He doesn't want to give details so he can't be caught. Don't pretend you don't know why he doesn't want to give details.

I agree with you, but I have to if he thinks this message board is how he's going to get caught. If he gets caught it will be because of some real trail he left or Wonder Boobies decides to destroy his marriage.

Maybe he has real life friends that are on this board? Although, the details about knowing Ms. Jugs and Hugs father may be recognizable for those people.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

I've only been checking in here to check for any reactions/responses to my jokes. It appears, however, as though that time has passed. I just want to confirm that I can move on.

 

[Sweet J]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

It's not really rocket science, dumb-###. He doesn't want to give details so he can't be caught. Don't pretend you don't know why he doesn't want to give details.

I agree with you, but I have to if he thinks this message board is how he's going to get caught. If he gets caught it will be because of some real trail he left or Wonder Boobies decides to destroy his marriage.

Maybe he has real life friends that are on this board? Although, the details about knowing Ms. Jugs and Hugs father may be recognizable for those people.

For all we know, his wife is on the board, or his wife's brother. Or he's one of the multitude of folks here who have tied their facebook page to their screen name, further complicating the fuzzy FBG/RealWorld line.

 

[jomar]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

It's not really rocket science. He doesn't want to give details so he can't be caught. Don't pretend you don't know why he doesn't want to give details.

I must be an idiot because I didn't know why he couldn't tell us. How would telling us lead to him getting caught?

out of town for work

Guys night out and got hotel room instead of driving

I can't come up with much else if the wife asks me why I won't be home until the next day. Neither of those and the like would expose him in any way so I'm guessing it was something else. I think he won't tell us because it'd somehow make him look even more sleazy.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

What's the big deal about telling us what you told the wife to get away?

What's really going on here.

It's not really rocket science. He doesn't want to give details so he can't be caught. Don't pretend you don't know why he doesn't want to give details.

I must be an idiot because I didn't know why he couldn't tell us. How would telling us lead to him getting caught?out of town for work

Guys night out and got hotel room instead of driving

I can't come up with much else if the wife asks me why I won't be home until the next day. Neither of those and the like would expose him in any way so I'm guessing it was something else. I think he won't tell us because it'd somehow make him look even more sleazy.

Sweet J already gave you the answer.

 

[Zow]

For those who don't appear to be reading the thread:

This is about 25% the physical connection and 75% a much deeper connection that existed for years. There is a non-physical compatibility to my relationship with flame that are beyond what I will ever have with wife. Personallty, interests, goals, etc are much more in tune. Those things with wife are good enough. Those things with flame are unparalleled. Just trying to set right the notion that this is simply being distracted by the first shiny object that has come along.

If the connection was that deep you wouldn't have married your wife in the first place. And big boobs wouldn't have married her husband.

Keep on living, woz.

I'm talking about the connection this guy and old flame apparently have had that is 3x stronger than the current physical one. If this were true, he wouldn't have married somebody else and vice versa. I don't know why this that controversial of a statement. And if it's no obvious, my position is that the "connection" between this guy and McFunBoobs isn't even as "deep" as she can take it.

But by all means, if you want an anecdotal story of someone so ridiculously into a girl from his past for a period of time yet not even that "connection" was deep enough to sway him when he met the actual right girl to marry, I'm sure I can come up with something...

My thread is now complete. The Woz stopped by showed off both bad reading & math skills in one post.

Please expand.

My reading: you said this is 75% deep connection, which I interpret as incredibly strong when compared to this very strong physical connection. My opinion is that if a person feels this strongly for and has such a deep connection with person A, that person isn't going to marry person B.

My math: 1/4 of your feelings are physical. 3/4 of your feelings are "deeply emotional". 1/4 x 3 = 3/4. Your "deep connection" drive is therefore 3x stronger than the physical.

I wrote the book on relationship train wreck and based decision making threads, guy. No question me.

 

[Chemical X]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

To be fair , the FBG mob does this all the time, even if it isn't true.

Goes the same way EVERY time:

1)Poster posts something, often even acknowledging they are wrong.

2) A few FBGs lash out about the poster being selfish/#######.

3) the religious freaks/ morons jump in about how people should stay married no matter what the circumstance.

4) sprinkle in a few intelligent posts

5) OP attempts to again acknowledge they're in the wrong.

6) the masses pile on and without fail, somebody posts the equivalent of "I love it when a thread goes the opposite of what the OP thought would happen" or "OP doesn't like what he hears and is taking his ball home".

Rinse and repeat.

 

[modogg]

She has two kids and is willing to have sex with a married man.

What do you think?

yup, this was my first thought. Maybe he has a great connection with this lady, and i admit not knowing about this lady, but i would guess this may not be her first time checking out other men.

I do know it is weird having a real strong connection like that and feeling it again. Also pretty sure if you do not get with her in a committed way you will likely always wonder "what if", and probably unconsciously take it out on your current wife. Not saying your situation is easy, but you do have to get a handle on it now and not keep getting it more tangled. Good luck either way

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

She has two kids and is willing to have sex with a married man.

What do you think?

yup, this was my first thought. Maybe he has a great connection with this lady, and i admit not knowing about this lady, but i would guess this may not be her first time checking out other men.

I do know it is weird having a real strong connection like that and feeling it again. Also pretty sure if you do not get with her in a committed way you will likely always wonder "what if", and probably unconsciously take it out on your current wife. Not saying your situation is easy, but you do have to get a handle on it now and not keep getting it more tangled. Good luck either way

He won't necessarily "take it out on her" but he will compare his new fling with his wife and that's not fair to the wife.

It's over 100%. Doesn't make it easy.

 

[jwb]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

To be fair , the FBG mob does this all the time, even if it isn't true.

Goes the same way EVERY time:

1)Poster posts something, often even acknowledging they are wrong.

2) A few FBGs lash out about the poster being selfish/#######.

3) the religious freaks/ morons jump in about how people should stay married no matter what the circumstance.

4) sprinkle in a few intelligent posts

5) OP attempts to again acknowledge they're in the wrong.

6) the masses pile on and without fail, somebody posts the equivalent of "I love it when a thread goes the opposite of what the OP thought would happen" or "OP doesn't like what he hears and is taking his ball home".

Rinse and repeat.

well, to be fair, this one was a bit different than some of the others. The OP's marriage sounded more like "I'm tired of the same old same old" than something that was really difficult to endure.

 

[saintsfan]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

To be fair , the FBG mob does this all the time, even if it isn't true.

Goes the same way EVERY time:

3) the religious freaks/ morons jump in about how people should stay married no matter what the circumstance.

I'm not sure if I'm the freak you are talking about but I never said this nor did anybody else in this thread. We only said that the reason why he decided to crap all over his vows sounded pretty weak...

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

I have a brother in law who was married to a gal for 19 years - she decided to end the marriage and walked away. B-I-L left to raise the two teenagers. Not long after the divorce. B-I-L runs into an old high school flame - thrice divorced - with 3 kids. B-I-L falls head over heels and spends all of his time for 5 years doting on the old flame, meanwhile basically just feeding and watering his own kids but spending all his non-working hours with that old flame. Poor kids essentially just parented themselves. Flash forward to this week, after 5 years - the old flame has kids out of the house now, no longer needs a Daddy figure fo the kids - so dumps B-I-L.

B-I-L (now 50) has to restart all over, now having wasted the last 5 years of his own kids life by being an absentee dad and now his own kids have no discipline because they have been raising themselves.

Moral of the story - look before you leap. Assess yur priorities before making rash decisions.

Moral of the story - don't be a ####ty father. Don't see how this is relevant.

Of course you don't because you are busy being a scumbag instead of manning up. I use the term YOU in reference to the act of chasing tail while still married instead of ending the relationship and then chasing tail.

 

[Aerial Assault]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

To be fair , the FBG mob does this all the time, even if it isn't true.

Goes the same way EVERY time:

1)Poster posts something, often even acknowledging they are wrong.

2) A few FBGs lash out about the poster being selfish/#######.

3) the religious freaks/ morons jump in about how people should stay married no matter what the circumstance.

4) sprinkle in a few intelligent posts

5) OP attempts to again acknowledge they're in the wrong.

6) the masses pile on and without fail, somebody posts the equivalent of "I love it when a thread goes the opposite of what the OP thought would happen" or "OP doesn't like what he hears and is taking his ball home".

Rinse and repeat.

Yeah, even though there are certain details that sure do make this whole thing sound like a fishing trip, I pretty much agree with all of the above.

 

[The Goat]

Arright.

I didn't even read beyond the first page.

The lot of you who are calling the OP names can go #### yourselves.

Here's the most important part of the equation:

"No kids."

Because, seriously, that is the penultimate step. Once a union becomes more than two persons, normal rules fly out the window. Because then...it's no longer about you.

Now: If the holier-than-thou males in this thread will bear with me for a second, I'd like to take a contrary stance.

Point 1): Dude was clearly looking for strange. Right? Being friends with your wife is lovely. If that's all there is, that makes for a long-term, generally unsatisfactory marriage.

Point 2): Dude had otherworldly sex. This is apparently contrary to what he'd been experiencing in his marriage.

Point 3) 30f? Really? #### off.

Counterpoint 1): In college, it didn't work out for a "variety of reasons on both sides." Oh, really? When I was in college, I once had a jousting match with a gorgeous girl. We were both riding couches, carried by other humans. We jousted with push brooms, which we stole out of maintenance closets. The SECOND time, we set the couches on fire. AND I WAS THE RA. You can do ANYTHING in college. Don't TELL me "a variety of reasons." This is important #### now that you need to consider. Why didn't it work then that is irrelevant to why it could work now?

Counterpoint 2): Women are completely ####### insane. Don't assume that because you're willing to suddenly throw it all away, that she won't up and say "OH! I FORGOT! I'M A LESBIAN!" in three weeks.

Prognosis:

You already ###### another woman. For all the FBG bluster, you've already leapt to Defcon 2 on the FBG scale. You porked another woman. I don't know you from Adam, but I think you need to end this, one way or another. You're in your 30s, and you and your wife both have time to find someone else, and hopefully be happy for the rest of your lives. If you act soon.

But...that's the real question, isn't it? Do you want a shot at the brass ring with no guarantees, or do you want security?

Oh...and if you and Supertits get together, you better ####### well post pictures.

 

[Foosball God]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

To be fair , the FBG mob does this all the time, even if it isn't true.

Goes the same way EVERY time:

1)Poster posts something, often even acknowledging they are wrong.

2) A few FBGs lash out about the poster being selfish/#######.

3) the religious freaks/ morons jump in about how people should stay married no matter what the circumstance.

4) sprinkle in a few intelligent posts

5) OP attempts to again acknowledge they're in the wrong.

6) the masses pile on and without fail, somebody posts the equivalent of "I love it when a thread goes the opposite of what the OP thought would happen" or "OP doesn't like what he hears and is taking his ball home".

Rinse and repeat.

 

[seahawk 17]

Is it all or nothing with the college flame? Can't you hang out and see where things go?

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

the advise i got isnt the advise i wanted so i will lurk over my fishing trip.

To be fair , the FBG mob does this all the time, even if it isn't true.Goes the same way EVERY time:

3) the religious freaks/ morons jump in about how people should stay married no matter what the circumstance.

I'm not sure if I'm the freak you are talking about but I never said this nor did anybody else in this thread. We only said that the reason why he decided to crap all over his vows sounded pretty weak...

Oh it's not personal, I look down on all of you equally. I'm not gonna turn this into one of those threads so I'll admit the freaks/moron was a little uncalled for.

 

[chauncey]

OP, here is my 2¢:

1. Your marriage sounds like you both have checked out. You married at that age a lot of people do when it is the next step, there is peer pressure, clocks are ticking, etc. Many people go down that road and get divorced and if no kids are involved then no harm no foul. You both are young enough to meet someone else and remarry if that is what you want.

2. You taking action and hooking up with Cartoon Bewbs was you acknowledging it is over on your end. If you cared about your wife/marriage you would not have crossed that line. Was it wrong? Sure. But for all you know your wife is already having an emotional or physical affair of her own. As you describe it there isn't much physical or emotional chemistry between you and your wife may be getting those needs filled elsewhere.

3. Do not tell your wife you cheated, there is nothing to gain.

4. Have an honest talk with her about the marriage and both of your concerns (minus the affair). Divorce may already be on her mind and she is afraid/ashamed to bring it up. After talking you two may realize it is worth staying together. If she is on the same page as you in regards to divorce, then speak to an attorney next week. With no kids and no fault depending on which state you are in this thing could be final in 90 days.

5. Cut contact with Cartoon Bewbs until you are legally separated and living on your own. If she legitimately wants to be with you she will comply. You run the risk of her finding another sex buddy in the meantime, but better to find out now than after you move to her city.

6. Realize that if you pursue Cartoon Bewbs after you are separated that you are playing with fire. She may be subconsciously using you as an emotional and sexual bridge from bad marriage to singledom. You go all in and wake up six months later alone, she is done with her rebound fling and looking for someone better.

7. These types of situations rarely work out. I have a friend who went down the same path a few years ago and it crashed and burned. He said if he could do it all over again he would have steered clear of the hot separated mom who hadn't been ####ed properly in years. The crazy sex can be blinding, as it always is.

8. Your situation may be the exception. I think the history and chemistry that you two have is a positive. This isn't some broad you just met at the neighborhood BBQ. Also, she has money so you are not just a fill-in provider.

Tldr: talk to your wife, leave out the affair, file for divorce, cut contact with (30)(F)/beat off furiously until separated, go live the life you imagine. And pics.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

OP, here is my 2¢:

1. Your marriage sounds like you both have checked out. You married at that age a lot of people do when it is the next step, there is peer pressure, clocks are ticking, etc. Many people go down that road and get divorced and if no kids are involved then no harm no foul. You both are young enough to meet someone else and remarry if that is what you want.

2. You taking action and hooking up with Cartoon Bewbs was you acknowledging it is over on your end. If you cared about your wife/marriage you would not have crossed that line. Was it wrong? Sure. But for all you know your wife is already having an emotional or physical affair of her own. As you describe it there isn't much physical or emotional chemistry between you and your wife may be getting those needs filled elsewhere.

3. Do not tell your wife you cheated, there is nothing to gain.

4. Have an honest talk with her about the marriage and both of your concerns (minus the affair). Divorce may already be on her mind and she is afraid/ashamed to bring it up. After talking you two may realize it is worth staying together. If she is on the same page as you in regards to divorce, then speak to an attorney next week. With no kids and no fault depending on which state you are in this thing could be final in 90 days.

5. Cut contact with Cartoon Bewbs until you are legally separated and living on your own. If she legitimately wants to be with you she will comply. You run the risk of her finding another sex buddy in the meantime, but better to find out now than after you move to her city.

6. Realize that if you pursue Cartoon Bewbs after you are separated that you are playing with fire. She may be subconsciously using you as an emotional and sexual bridge from bad marriage to singledom. You go all in and wake up six months later alone, she is done with her rebound fling and looking for someone better.

7. These types of situations rarely work out. I have a friend who went down the same path a few years ago and it crashed and burned. He said if he could do it all over again he would have steered clear of the hot separated mom who hadn't been ####ed properly in years. The crazy sex can be blinding, as it always is.

8. Your situation may be the exception. I think the history and chemistry that you two have is a positive. This isn't some broad you just met at the neighborhood BBQ. Also, she has money so you are not just a fill-in provider.

Tldr: talk to your wife, leave out the affair, file for divorce, cut contact with (30)(F)/beat off furiously until separated, go live the life you imagine. And pics.

and /thread. These are the type of posts I hope I'm capable of making when I grow up. OP this man nailed it on every facet. If Boobs Von Rackistein is the one she'll be the one 6 months from now. All the crap that has to go down before you can conceivably be in a mental state to know if Maximus Rackumus is worth it will poison any shot you have with her anyway.