The Adoption Process (1 Viewer)

[Zow]

First off, those of you have have expressed your strong desire that there never be little Wozzes running around will be pleased to know that you are probably getting your wish. Based on some recent testing it appears, despite the amount of transmittal fluid (of which there is plenty) transporting a decent number of tadpoles Wozzes, that the overall quality of them are significantly poor enough that the odds of one hitting home are very minute.

As such, assuming we don't want to risk trying naturally for many years with no results, my wife and I are left with the decision to either undergo some newer technology type IVF (where needles would be jammed repeatedly into my balls) or to adopt. Franky, since my wife and I both are open to adoption and I'm personally aware that there are many children who need good homes, we think that's something we can do. Nonetheless, it's a bit daunting for reasons I'm getting into shortly. In short, I'm hoping to hear from any of you who have adopted with info regarding costs, the process, and just general experiences with your adoption and how the child has been accepted in the family.

A few things to note:

1. Because my work, becoming a foster parent in the hopes of that leading to an adoption is not an option. It would be unethical for me to do it and I know my wife would struggle if we took in a child only to have it be reunified with his parent(s) several months later. To those of you who are foster parents and are good ones, I don't know how you do it and you are awesome.

2. We'd really, really like an infant. I recognize this is more difficult and that there are many old children who need a good home. But we just selfishly really want a baby.

3. How has extended family reacted to the adoption? I could see how a family may not react the same and I fear that could really bother my wife.

Thanks for any input.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Based on some recent testing it appears, despite the amount of transmittal fluid (of which there is plenty) transporting a decent number of tadpoles Wozzes, that the overall quality of them are significantly poor enough that the odds of one hitting home are very minute.

Quantity over quality.

 

[Zow]

Based on some recent testing it appears, despite the amount of transmittal fluid (of which there is plenty) transporting a decent number of tadpoles Wozzes, that the overall quality of them are significantly poor enough that the odds of one hitting home are very minute.

Quantity over quality.

One would think. Apparently that isn't the case.

Although I did find it kind of cool that some of my tadpoles have more than one head.

 

[bentley]

I have two adopted sisters and my wife worked for years as an adoption counselor. We also have two kids via IVF. We were willing to go broke on fertility before seriously considering adoption. The treatment you described seems pretty wacky. Have you gotten a second opinion.

Unless you're adopting from the state, which I would heavily recommend against, adoption can be very expensive. And everyone wants an infant. International may be your best bet.

 

[General Malaise]

Good luck to you and the Mrs. Woz. I don't know much about the process other than it can be very taxing. My neighbors adopted their son when he was an infant. They are white, he is black. They drove to Baton Rouge from Wisconsin (where they lived at the time) to bring him home. They tell a funny story about stopping for dinner in Jackson, MS on the drive back where it was very uncommon for a white couple to have a black baby with them at the dinner table. Got all kinds of looks at the restaurant. I'm hoping this was a Cracker Barrel. Great kid who is my sons' best friend and my daughter's 3rd brother. Also one hell of an athlete who dominates the neighborhood football games in the street. I throw to him like Randy Moss.

 

[[icon]]

What if you saved up 2fl ounces at a time and used a strainer to gradually concentrate all your swimmers into a pool.... then cut them all loose at once?



Seriously though, condolences on the NOxplode, and good luck with whatever you guys pursue, GB.

 

[Koya]

Good luck in the endeavor. My sister and her husband just completed the "ideal" adoption - it certainly is not an easy road.

I can get more information for you if interested, but working through some agency or something, located a pregnant woman who would not be able to raise her child. Was not a surrogate or anything, but my sis and her husband had been in contact with the woman throughout the pregnancy, were there for the birth. Don't know the specific arrangement, but the birth mother will have "some" role in the baby's life, although limited (mother lives in FL, sis in D.C.).

The advantages here are you know the family line, you can be a part of / monitor prenatal care and can work on what relationship, if any, the biological parent may have. The downside as I understand it is that (1) you need to audition and audition well - namely, you need to find the right parent but they have to then choose you and I am sure there are a number of suitors for a good situation and (2) I'd assume that the birthmother has every right in the world to change her mind up through the birth.

That said, it's been a great experience for my sis and I can get you some information as well. Plus, she AND her husband are atty's so if she found a place that would allow a child to be raised in such a household, maybe you have hope.

 

[mr roboto]

Watch Juno. Can't imagine you'd need to know anything else.

Seriously, good on you and Mrs Woz.

 

[Zow]

Good luck in the endeavor. My sister and her husband just completed the "ideal" adoption - it certainly is not an easy road.

I can get more information for you if interested, but working through some agency or something, located a pregnant woman who would not be able to raise her child. Was not a surrogate or anything, but my sis and her husband had been in contact with the woman throughout the pregnancy, were there for the birth. Don't know the specific arrangement, but the birth mother will have "some" role in the baby's life, although limited (mother lives in FL, sis in D.C.).

The advantages here are you know the family line, you can be a part of / monitor prenatal care and can work on what relationship, if any, the biological parent may have. The downside as I understand it is that (1) you need to audition and audition well - namely, you need to find the right parent but they have to then choose you and I am sure there are a number of suitors for a good situation and (2) I'd assume that the birthmother has every right in the world to change her mind up through the birth.

That said, it's been a great experience for my sis and I can get you some information as well. Plus, she AND her husband are atty's so if she found a place that would allow a child to be raised in such a household, maybe you have hope.

What you describe is called an "open adoption". It happens allow when an unfit mother agrees to allow her child to be adopted.

 

[Zow]

I have two adopted sisters and my wife worked for years as an adoption counselor. We also have two kids via IVF. We were willing to go broke on fertility before seriously considering adoption. The treatment you described seems pretty wacky. Have you gotten a second opinion.

Unless you're adopting from the state, which I would heavily recommend against, adoption can be very expensive. And everyone wants an infant. International may be your best bet.

If you don't mind me asking, how was this?

 

[Zow]

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ICSI.html

From what I can gather, that link seems to accurately describe the process. Here's the part that turned me white:

Sperm can be collected directly from the epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum, where sperm are stored and matured) using a type of fine syringe. This is known as ‘percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration’ or PESA.

Sperm can also be retrieved from the ####, a process known as ‘testicular sperm aspiration’ or TESA.

It is also possible to remove tiny quantities of testicular tissue from which sperm can be extracted. This procedure is called ‘testicular sperm extraction’ or TESE.

 

[bentley]

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ICSI.html

From what I can gather, that link seems to accurately describe the process. Here's the part that turned me white:

Sperm can be collected directly from the epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum, where sperm are stored and matured) using a type of fine syringe. This is known as percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration or PESA.

Sperm can also be retrieved from the ####, a process known as testicular sperm aspiration or TESA.

It is also possible to remove tiny quantities of testicular tissue from which sperm can be extracted. This procedure is called testicular sperm extraction or TESE.

Crazy. I also had low motility and iffy morphology but they still managed to get enough from my batch to make it work.

Overall the process wasn't a ton of fun because of the shots and stuff but it was definitely worth it. Definitely emotional while it was going on. But we did two and they both worked. We were very happy with the process.

The thing about open adoption is that you can wait for years. And the mom can always back out after the baby was born. We saw that several times when my wife worked in adoption.

 

[Zow]

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ICSI.html

From what I can gather, that link seems to accurately describe the process. Here's the part that turned me white:

Sperm can be collected directly from the epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum, where sperm are stored and matured) using a type of fine syringe. This is known as percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration or PESA.

Sperm can also be retrieved from the ####, a process known as testicular sperm aspiration or TESA.

It is also possible to remove tiny quantities of testicular tissue from which sperm can be extracted. This procedure is called testicular sperm extraction or TESE.

Crazy. I also had low motility and iffy morphology but they still managed to get enough from my batch to make it work.

Overall the process wasn't a ton of fun because of the shots and stuff but it was definitely worth it. Definitely emotional while it was going on. But we did two and they both worked. We were very happy with the process.

The thing about open adoption is that you can wait for years. And the mom can always back out after the baby was born. We saw that several times when my wife worked in adoption.

Awesome to hear.

 

[nirad3]

Not much to add other than to echo others' thoughts of it being a pretty drawn-out (and potentially very expensive) process... so, have patience and good luck.

 

[Guest]

Best of luck.

I know you play a lot of sports. Maybe stop wearing a jock or compression shorts so often.

 

[CletiusMaximus]

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ICSI.html

From what I can gather, that link seems to accurately describe the process. Here's the part that turned me white:

Sperm can be collected directly from the epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum, where sperm are stored and matured) using a type of fine syringe. This is known as percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration or PESA.

Sperm can also be retrieved from the ####, a process known as testicular sperm aspiration or TESA.

It is also possible to remove tiny quantities of testicular tissue from which sperm can be extracted. This procedure is called testicular sperm extraction or TESE.

Crazy. I also had low motility and iffy morphology but they still managed to get enough from my batch to make it work.

Overall the process wasn't a ton of fun because of the shots and stuff but it was definitely worth it. Definitely emotional while it was going on. But we did two and they both worked. We were very happy with the process.

The thing about open adoption is that you can wait for years. And the mom can always back out after the baby was born. We saw that several times when my wife worked in adoption.

Awesome to hear.

We did IVF when I was 46 and my wife 44. They gave us very long odds but the doctors were great and our daughter will turn 4 in a couple months. They were surprised we were able to have a son (5 years earlier) without assistance, given the round-headed sperm I produce. I had to jerk off a couple times at the clinic and my wife had several consultations and the one major implant procedure. It cost about $12k. I actually enjoyed giving my wife the shots, but she didn't like it. For me, it brought back memories of playing doctor with the neighborhood girls growing up, one of my earliest erotic memories.

I also have some good friends who adopted from Guatemala. It worked fine for them. They thought they were just getting a girl, but just as they were going to pick her up they learned the mother was about to have a son, and they got both kids. I think in all they traveled to Guatemala 4 or 5 times. Medical records are very sketchy. I think for the son they got a single 3x5 card with some minimal data on it. Both kids are doing great.

 

[TheAristocrat]

Maybe you should try taking your underwear off next time.

Seriously though, best of luck in whatever you choose.

 

[Zow]

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ICSI.html

From what I can gather, that link seems to accurately describe the process. Here's the part that turned me white:

Sperm can be collected directly from the epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum, where sperm are stored and matured) using a type of fine syringe. This is known as percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration or PESA.

Sperm can also be retrieved from the ####, a process known as testicular sperm aspiration or TESA.

It is also possible to remove tiny quantities of testicular tissue from which sperm can be extracted. This procedure is called testicular sperm extraction or TESE.

Crazy. I also had low motility and iffy morphology but they still managed to get enough from my batch to make it work.

Overall the process wasn't a ton of fun because of the shots and stuff but it was definitely worth it. Definitely emotional while it was going on. But we did two and they both worked. We were very happy with the process.

The thing about open adoption is that you can wait for years. And the mom can always back out after the baby was born. We saw that several times when my wife worked in adoption.

Awesome to hear.

We did IVF when I was 46 and my wife 44. They gave us very long odds but the doctors were great and our daughter will turn 4 in a couple months. They were surprised we were able to have a son (5 years earlier) without assistance, given the round-headed sperm I produce. I had to jerk off a couple times at the clinic and my wife had several consultations and the one major implant procedure. It cost about $12k. I actually enjoyed giving my wife the shots, but she didn't like it. For me, it brought back memories of playing doctor with the neighborhood girls growing up, one of my earliest erotic memories.

I also have some good friends who adopted from Guatemala. It worked fine for them. They thought they were just getting a girl, but just as they were going to pick her up they learned the mother was about to have a son, and they got both kids. I think in all they traveled to Guatemala 4 or 5 times. Medical records are very sketchy. I think for the son they got a single 3x5 card with some minimal data on it. Both kids are doing great.

Yeah this seems about standard market rate.

Glad to hear it worked out well for you!

 

[Rattle and Hum]

How much is a sperm bank? How quick is the process? Also, would that be too big of an ego hit for the average husband?

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

GLL Wozzy.

 

[GroveDiesel]

We did international adoption. The process is long, taxing, a giant pain in the butt and very expensive. I think our process took about 2.5 years and cost about $30k (although the adoption tax credit helped ease that a bit, but only after the fact).

 

[pecorino]

My wife and I are about one year into the waiting process for an infant domestic adoption using an agency in Texas. The laws there are favorable towards the adoptive parents. It's been a long process (we started in April 2013 and got the paperwork completed by December 2013) and now we wait. The call could come any day so we are excited but also keep even keeled because it could still be many months.

We chose to use what we think is the gold standard of adoption agencies and the cost for us is roughly 30K. They scale the costs based on your income and we're near the bottom of that scale. So, yeah, it is crazy expensive. However there is currently a 13K tax credit which helps but it only kicks in once the adoption is completed.

I'd be glad to share more info with you. PM me if you like. We did IVF and the whole nine yards (but no needles to the scrotal area, thankfully) but nothing worked. A baby is guaranteed with adoption but it is a process. Good luck!

 

[the moops]

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ICSI.html

From what I can gather, that link seems to accurately describe the process. Here's the part that turned me white:

Sperm can be collected directly from the epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum, where sperm are stored and matured) using a type of fine syringe. This is known as ‘percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration’ or PESA.

Sperm can also be retrieved from the ####, a process known as ‘testicular sperm aspiration’ or TESA.

It is also possible to remove tiny quantities of testicular tissue from which sperm can be extracted. This procedure is called ‘testicular sperm extraction’ or TESE.

If in order to have my damn kid(s) I had to go thorugh this, I would hate them for the rest of my life. #### that.

I have no words of advice or wisdom, and besides the #### we give you here, I applaud you for looking at adoption as an option and feel good that you and your lady would be fine to excellent parents

Good luck good buddy

 

[bentley]

My wife and I are about one year into the waiting process for an infant domestic adoption using an agency in Texas. The laws there are favorable towards the adoptive parents. It's been a long process (we started in April 2013 and got the paperwork completed by December 2013) and now we wait. The call could come any day so we are excited but also keep even keeled because it could still be many months.

We chose to use what we think is the gold standard of adoption agencies and the cost for us is roughly 30K. They scale the costs based on your income and we're near the bottom of that scale. So, yeah, it is crazy expensive. However there is currently a 13K tax credit which helps but it only kicks in once the adoption is completed.

I'd be glad to share more info with you. PM me if you like. We did IVF and the whole nine yards (but no needles to the scrotal area, thankfully) but nothing worked. A baby is guaranteed with adoption but it is a process. Good luck!

Gladney?

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Adoption is great and I don't want to discourage you from doing it, but I don't really understand your hesitation about the sperm thing. I'd assume you're under anesthesia? Lots of medical procedures seem painful and gross. Your wife is willing to shove a bowling ball out of her hoo-ha just to have a baby, that seems pretty nasty too but women do it every day.

 

[The Z Machine]

Woz, there a whole FBG thread on fertility issues. See here: http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=255841

FYI, I have 1.5 y.o. twins via IVF. GLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 

[pecorino]

We think Gladney is the Bentley of agencies, yes. They were our choice and happy with them so far.

 

[YSR]

Gll Woz. My sister is probably about to go through this - after three failed rounds of IVF. She and her husband are taking some time off to recoup emotionally before starting this process. I'll add any helpful information as I hear it.

 

[PatsWillWin]

Zero knowledge or advice, just wanted to say good luck.

It sucks that there are such high barriers for good peoples who want to adopt when I'm sure there are a lot of children in need of a good home. I mean, it shouldn't be like going out and buying a pack of batteries, but years and tens of thousands of dollars seems too much.

Anyway, GL.

 

[DartTeamGoalie]

My wife and I adopted two boys as infants (my guys are bad swimmers also). Our boys are 8 and 6 now and I wouldn't change a thing regarding how things worked out. We went through an agency - Bethany Christian Services. The total cost was in the $18k per child neighborhood, and the adoption tax credit offset that by about $11k. We waited about a year in both cases.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Despite all the shtick over the years, I'm sorry to hear about your issues. I know there are lots of people here with a ton of experience in all forms of child procurement (ignore HJS's advice), though, so I'm sure there's a ton of information that can help you make an educated decision. Good luck!

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Woz, has you doctor discussed ICSI? A lot of people in the IVF thread have had ####ty swimmers. It's not really as much of an issue in the past few years.

EDIT: Nevermind, I see a lot of people have said essentially the same thing.

If the problem is solely male infertility and you're open to adoption then donor sperm is going to be a cheaper option than adoption (which is not to #### on those who are giving kids who need them homes, they're awesome).

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Best of luck Woz!

 

[johnnycakes]

Lots and lots of kids with varying special needs can be adopted expeditiously by a loving family.

http://www.new-beginnings.org/adoption-programs/adopting-a-child-from-china/china-adoption-faqs/

 

[El Floppo]

Based on some recent testing it appears, despite the amount of transmittal fluid (of which there is plenty) transporting a decent number of tadpoles Wozzes, that the overall quality of them are significantly poor enough that the odds of one hitting home are very minute.

Quantity over quality.

One would think. Apparently that isn't the case.

Although I did find it kind of cool that some of my tadpoles have more than one head.

welcome to the monster-headed sperm club.

if that's the problem (and my morphology rate was something like 1-2%), it doesn't mean you're SOL. I've got two Floppy children via fertility (IUI) that I'm mostly certain came from my monster-headed goo.

the key for us was to game-plan the thing- we're going to do "x" tries with IUI and then "y" tries with IVF before stopping the fertility path. We were also older than you when we started, so we knew we didn't have time to #### around.

We talked adoption too- but obviously didn't go that route so I can't advice you there other than to say from watching friends do it- it's a wonderful thing to do (minus the crack-baby killing you in your sleep).

 

[Zow]

Woz, has you doctor discussed ICSI? A lot of people in the IVF thread have had ####ty swimmers. It's not really as much of an issue in the past few years.

EDIT: Nevermind, I see a lot of people have said essentially the same thing.

If the problem is solely male infertility and you're open to adoption then donor sperm is going to be a cheaper option than adoption (which is not to #### on those who are giving kids who need them homes, they're awesome).

Yes, I think that's the ball-jabber process which scares the crap out of me!

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Woz, has you doctor discussed ICSI? A lot of people in the IVF thread have had ####ty swimmers. It's not really as much of an issue in the past few years.

EDIT: Nevermind, I see a lot of people have said essentially the same thing.

If the problem is solely male infertility and you're open to adoption then donor sperm is going to be a cheaper option than adoption (which is not to #### on those who are giving kids who need them homes, they're awesome).

Yes, I think that's the ball-jabber process which scares the crap out of me!

Only in the most extreme cases. [SIZE=14.3999996185303px]"ICSI" just means the injection of the sperm into the egg. It doesn't require retrieval of the sperm through injection.[/SIZE] For most, you just give a fresh collection, usually by a dispirited masturbation session in some of the most depressingly appointed porn rooms in the world. The clinic will then select normal sperm and inject the retrieved eggs with the "good" sperm.

 

[El Floppo]

Woz, has you doctor discussed ICSI? A lot of people in the IVF thread have had ####ty swimmers. It's not really as much of an issue in the past few years.

EDIT: Nevermind, I see a lot of people have said essentially the same thing.

If the problem is solely male infertility and you're open to adoption then donor sperm is going to be a cheaper option than adoption (which is not to #### on those who are giving kids who need them homes, they're awesome).

Yes, I think that's the ball-jabber process which scares the crap out of me!

Only in the most extreme cases. [SIZE=14.3999996185303px]"ICSI" just means the injection of the sperm into the egg. It doesn't require retrieval of the sperm through injection.[/SIZE] For most, you just give a fresh collection, usually by a dispirited masturbation session in some of the most depressingly appointed porn rooms in the world. The clinic will then select normal sperm and inject the retrieved eggs with the "good" sperm.

so disgustingly true.

really hard to masturbate when you don't want to touch anything in the room

 

[Spanky24]

Best of luck to you and your wife!

We are about 6 months into the waiting process ourselves.

 

[Kanil]

First off, those of you have have expressed your strong desire that there never be little Wozzes running around will be pleased to know that you are probably getting your wish. Based on some recent testing it appears, despite the amount of transmittal fluid (of which there is plenty) transporting a decent number of tadpoles Wozzes, that the overall quality of them are significantly poor enough that the odds of one hitting home are very minute.

As such, assuming we don't want to risk trying naturally for many years with no results, my wife and I are left with the decision to either undergo some newer technology type IVF (where needles would be jammed repeatedly into my balls) or to adopt. Franky, since my wife and I both are open to adoption and I'm personally aware that there are many children who need good homes, we think that's something we can do. Nonetheless, it's a bit daunting for reasons I'm getting into shortly. In short, I'm hoping to hear from any of you who have adopted with info regarding costs, the process, and just general experiences with your adoption and how the child has been accepted in the family.

A few things to note:

1. Because my work, becoming a foster parent in the hopes of that leading to an adoption is not an option. It would be unethical for me to do it and I know my wife would struggle if we took in a child only to have it be reunified with his parent(s) several months later. To those of you who are foster parents and are good ones, I don't know how you do it and you are awesome.

2. We'd really, really like an infant. I recognize this is more difficult and that there are many old children who need a good home. But we just selfishly really want a baby.

3. How has extended family reacted to the adoption? I could see how a family may not react the same and I fear that could really bother my wife.

Thanks for any input.

I can't really speak to the first two but the third I can. When I was 6 and my brother was 4 my parents adopted my sister. She was pretty far behind developmentally. On top of being a crack baby, she spent most of her first 2 years in a playpen in foster care with very little human interaction. She could not talk or walk and was no where near being potty trained. Additionally, she's half mexican, half native american and we're white so it was always very clear that she was different.

That said, she adjusted into the family rapidly. My parents were both one of 6 children so we had a lot of aunts/uncles/cousins that all accepted her with no problem. This is especially interesting as I have a lot of racist rednecks from South Dakota on my mother's side of the family who never treated my sister any differently than any of the other kids in the family.

My sister's gone on to do well for herself even with the learning disabilities that came along with her biological mothers drug use. I feel like this is 100% because she was given an opportunity to grow up in a good environment.

Good on you for considering this option and giving a child with little hope a chance. Good luck Woz.

 

[weekend]

My wife and I have a 7 year old son we adopted from Russia. We tried IVF 3 times before we decided to adopt.

From the start of the paperwork to the time we brought him home was right around 9 months. He was a year old when we got our referral and 15 months when we got him home.

We made 3 trips in about a month and a half to two month span.

He was the first grandchild for both set's of grandparents. No one, family or friends have ever treated him different or acted differently around him than they have with any of the other kids that have come since. If anything he was more spoiled than the rest. I would think that would just depend on your family.

We have had 2 more kids since then. We have a 4 year old boy that IVF worked on, it was frozen eggs from our first IVF try that worked.

My youngest is a girl who is almost 1. She was a natural pregnancy, but we did have a Doctor's appointment scheduled for a week after we found out.

 

[El Floppo]

My wife and I have a 7 year old son we adopted from Russia. We tried IVF 3 times before we decided to adopt.

From the start of the paperwork to the time we brought him home was right around 9 months. He was a year old when we got our referral and 15 months when we got him home.

We made 3 trips in about a month and a half to two month span.

He was the first grandchild for both set's of grandparents. No one, family or friends have ever treated him different or acted differently around him than they have with any of the other kids that have come since. If anything he was more spoiled than the rest. I would think that would just depend on your family.

We have had 2 more kids since then. We have a 4 year old boy that IVF worked on, it was frozen eggs from our first IVF try that worked.

My youngest is a girl who is almost 1. She was a natural pregnancy, but we did have a Doctor's appointment scheduled for a week after we found out.

so do you use the ruskie as a house-boy/janitor now that you've got your real kids?

 

[johnnycakes]

Woz, has you doctor discussed ICSI? A lot of people in the IVF thread have had ####ty swimmers. It's not really as much of an issue in the past few years.

EDIT: Nevermind, I see a lot of people have said essentially the same thing.

If the problem is solely male infertility and you're open to adoption then donor sperm is going to be a cheaper option than adoption (which is not to #### on those who are giving kids who need them homes, they're awesome).

Yes, I think that's the ball-jabber process which scares the crap out of me!

Only in the most extreme cases. [SIZE=14.39px]"ICSI" just means the injection of the sperm into the egg. It doesn't require retrieval of the sperm through injection.[/SIZE] For most, you just give a fresh collection, usually by a dispirited masturbation session in some of the most depressingly appointed porn rooms in the world. The clinic will then select normal sperm and inject the retrieved eggs with the "good" sperm.

so disgustingly true.

really hard to masturbate when you don't want to touch anything in the room

friend-of-a-friend works at a fertility clinic. She has the wackiest stories about that room. I'll have to get more.

One I remember for sure is that they used to have magazines & a TV/DVD player, but they switched to iPads. Turns out when they offered DVDs the men would steal the Paris Hilton one and they kept having to buy more copies.

Dig this... back in the day, I used to fly airplanes. Used to have to get a physical every now and then from an FAA-approved physician. These physicians can practice in many areas of medicine but most have some connection to general aviation because they won't get rich doing these physicals. Anyhow... I check in for my physical one year, get shown to the exam room... sit down.. start checking out the various gadgets in the room, opening a drawer here and there... pull one open and I find a big stash of Penthouse magazines. Seemed kind of weird.... on the way out, I noticed the doc was affiliated with an IVF practice.

 

[Henry Ford]

If you're foregoing having biological kids because of the pain of having a needle in your balls, you should probably rethink kids in general. By the time he/she is 5, you'll have experienced more horrifying, gripping pain than that (usually involving injury to your balls) without anesthetic at least 5-10 times.

 

[Henry Ford]

Also, being able to counter the wife's "I was in labor with him/her for X hours" for the rest of your life by saying "I let them shove a needle in my balls just for the chance of being able to have our child" is priceless.

 

[Quez]

Can't they just take one of the good sperms and inject it into an egg?

Just let a black dude get your wife pregnant. The only thing that ever held you back in baseball was your physical short comings. Imagine if you had an athletically gifted son that you could share all if your sports knowledge with... Besides, the kid one only be half black like AZ Ron, and he gets tons of ### too!

 

[Wrigley]

Good luck, good buddy

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

Why not IVF? Why not just buy some sperm? http://www.thespermbankofca.org/content/how-inseminate

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Now I kinda feel bad for knocking my wife up "accidentally"...twice.

 

[Henry Ford]

Now I kinda feel bad for knocking my wife up "accidentally"...twice.

Poked a hole in the condom?