"The Bachelor" on ABC (2 Viewers)

[Aerial Assault]

So here's the Big Lie about this show -- they sell it as one man dating 25 gorgeous women and that's supposed to inspire envy in men and, I don't know, romantic fantasies among the women viewers? The problem is, 25 really is nothing. In real life you have endless choices. Hell, with Tinder, Match, eHarmony, you've got hundreds or thousands to browse through. I can go to a party and find 25 women I'd love to bang, but marry?? That's a really infinitesimally tiny subset of the female population.

I think a guy could play this show perfectly, make the "best" choice in the end but it's only the best of 25 random chicks that he didn't even choose as contestants.

It was 30

 

[TLEF316]

In the barn? How romantic...

 

[McGarnicle]

So here's the Big Lie about this show -- they sell it as one man dating 25 gorgeous women and that's supposed to inspire envy in men and, I don't know, romantic fantasies among the women viewers? The problem is, 25 really is nothing. In real life you have endless choices. Hell, with Tinder, Match, eHarmony, you've got hundreds or thousands to browse through. I can go to a party and find 25 women I'd love to bang, but marry?? That's a really infinitesimally tiny subset of the female population.

I think a guy could play this show perfectly, make the "best" choice in the end but it's only the best of 25 random chicks that he didn't even choose as contestants.

It was 30

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My bad.

 

[Das Boot]

Becca being "punished" (not that marrying this clown is some great prize) for not being ready to move to bum #### Iowa after knowing him for 2 months.

This girl is 24 and has never been laid. She needs a 6 month slut phase so badly

I think she's 26.

 

[Das Boot]

Chris's mom is pretty harsh looking.

I thought she came across great... good mom, genuine person.

Seemed to have pretty good judgement, other than thinking Becca's feelings when she was worried about not being picked last week meant she was in love with Chris.

 

[McGarnicle]

Pretty enjoyable season overall, but this whole ending kind of sucks.

 

[Das Boot]

I think you guys got suckered in by Britt's little crying spree. I have a feeling that's some well-honed shtick she's running for sympathy. That's a girl that's used to getting exactly what she wants.

But she loves kids!!! Just listen to all the made up stuff she did to prove it.

Actually, if she really did all that stuff, that was a pretty damn impressive list of kid activities.

 

[McGarnicle]

Chris's mom is pretty harsh looking.

I thought she came across great... good mom, genuine person.

Seemed to have pretty good judgement, other than thinking Becca's feelings when she was worried about not being picked last week meant she was in love with Chris.

I meant she was about a 3 and I wouldn't bang under any circumstances. But oh absolutely, nice lady.

 

[McGarnicle]

Aaaaand the virgin wears a red dress to the final rose ceremony.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Not watching but want to know the results. What happened? Boot Becca but no proposal to Whitney, they'll see how it goes?

 

[McGarnicle]

Whitney should come out in a full wedding gown, long train with midget attendants, horse & buggy, all of it.

 

[Das Boot]

Chris is FAR more broken up than Becca about telling her she's not the one.

 

[2Young2BBald]

Chris is FAR more broken up than Becca about telling her she's not the one.

She is a total Ice Maiden. Zero emotion.

 

[Das Boot]

I suspect Chris will propose to Whitney, but only because it's no risk - it's only a proposal, they can always break it.

 

[Das Boot]

Chris is FAR more broken up than Becca about telling her she's not the one.

She is a total Ice Maiden. Zero emotion.

Yeah, she would be a tough one to date.

And that's in addition to the obvious V-card reason.

 

[McGarnicle]

Chris is FAR more broken up than Becca about telling her she's not the one.

Given that it was pretty obvious 40 minutes ago that they had no chance, I'm sure it occurred to her already as well. The fake suspense on this show, sheesh. They should break up the formula a bit if the final result doesn't fit their script.

 

[ffldrew]

Do they have enough helium in Iowa for this Whitney chick to live there

 

[McGarnicle]

Gee you're shaking, can I slap your face repeatedly until you stop talking?

 

[Das Boot]

I hope it works out for those two crazy kids.

 

[McGarnicle]

Did Chris Harrison just ask if there was something he wasn't getting from Becca????

 

[Otis]

Holy crap. Becca will be the next bachelorette. This is going to be such a snoozefest.

 

[Otis]

There is not an attractive bone in Whitney's body. I might honestly turn down a beej.

 

[Soulfly3]

There is not an attractive bone in Whitney's body. I might honestly turn down a beej.

did you snort lines of penis growing up?

 

[(HULK)]

Holy crap. Becca will be the next bachelorette. This is going to be such a snoozefest.

Runner up is never the bachelorrtte.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Otis really displaying his Bachelor Nation chops in here

Wonder if the B'ette will be BOTH Kaitlyn and Britt, and the dudes choose.

 

[McGarnicle]

I couldn't be happier for Micky and Minnie. So great when two idiots find each other and breed.

 

[Soulfly3]

whitney is happy for approx 1-2yrs... then regrets giving up her career to be a baby machine in the middle of nowhere... starts drinking... heavily....

starts to lament chris for pulling her away from her life... she starts banging a younger, more "caring" farmhand... chris catches them in the act... he forgives her... drinking gets worse... she smashed a whisky bottle and cuts chris's face, prompting her arrest and their subsequent divorce.

 

[Soulfly3]

I soooooooo love Ashley S.

smoke show.

 

[McGarnicle]

Big fan of Kimmel just skewering the whole thing.

 

[Otis]

Jade. Now she's a smoke show.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Jade. Now she's a smoke show.

Now you're making sense

 

[Soulfly3]

Wonder if the B'ette will be BOTH Kaitlyn and Britt, and the dudes choose.

wow

 

[McGarnicle]

Otis really displaying his Bachelor Nation chops in here

Wonder if the B'ette will be BOTH Kaitlyn and Britt, and the dudes choose.

HOLY ####!!!!!!!!!

 

[Otis]

Omggggggggg

 

[Otis]

This is awkward. Going to be amazing.

 

[Soulfly3]

britt seriously is gorgeous tho... jesus.

walking around with her on your arm just gives you certified pimp status

 

[Angry Beavers]

What?

This will be a train wreck and it will be awesome!

 

[Soulfly3]

I dont get how this is gonna work.. but in the .001% chance they fall in love w one another and start scissoring on TV... I'll watch

 

[Rohn Jambo]

britt seriously is gorgeous tho... jesus.

walking around with her on your arm just gives you certified pimp status

I like Britt more, especially now that she stopped wearing the bad makeup.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Otis really displaying his Bachelor Nation chops in here

Wonder if the B'ette will be BOTH Kaitlyn and Britt, and the dudes choose.

HOLY ####!!!!!!!!!

Can I at least get a frigging like for my prediction skillz?????

 

[McGarnicle]

Kaitlyn smashes it, if it's the usual crop of dooouchebags. But throw a few more blacks and Latinos into the mix and we're off to the races.

 

[Das Boot]

I hope Kimmel is a fixture on all future Bachelor/ette/nation series.

 

[Das Boot]

Kaitlyn smashes it, if it's the usual crop of dooouchebags. But throw a few more blacks and Latinos into the mix and we're off to the races.

I dunno, I'd guess a lot of they guys are there just for the novelty and the snogging, so they may skew quite a bit toward Britt.

 

[dino259]

Three some in the fantasy suite

 

[Aerial Assault]

Kaitlyn smashes it, if it's the usual crop of dooouchebags. But throw a few more blacks and Latinos into the mix and we're off to the races.

I dunno, I'd guess a lot of they guys are there just for the novelty and the snogging, so they may skew quite a bit toward Britt.

If they do an instapick Kaitlyn doesn't stand a chance. But they may actually have both of them on there for most of the season. It's a great idea.

 

[Soulfly3]

Id give anything to bed Ashley S...

no way she isnt down for anything

ughhhhhhhhhh

 

[Zegras11]

Becca is on the spectrum for sure.

 

[NREC34]

well I'm watching Kimmel tonight

 

[McGarnicle]

Britt's fabricated instant connection with Chris looked more absurd and desperate by the week. She's second only to Ashley S. on the loonball spectrum this season. She's definitely hotter than Kaitlyn, but any sane, intelligent dude would be wary of her, I would think, if we're talking future wife potential. What this means for Bachelorette purposes? Probably 50/50 odds for either chick being the final choice. The guys on the show are usually dumb as bricks.

 

[offdee]

I'm guessing there won't be too many threesome jokes next Bachelorette season as all the bros hang by the pool in their hoodies and scarves.