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"The Bachelor" on ABC (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter azgroover
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Skoo
Footballguy
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Baloney Sandwich
Footballguy
McGarnicle
Footballguy
That whole thing was so dumb. Yeah, he just happened to send flowers that particular day? They're not even trying to make it believable.
The drama at her parents' house was straight out of a Univision telenovela, complete with the dramatic stares and horrible furniture. All that was missing was a face slap and the botox mom crying with mascara running down her face. God I love this show so much.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Sure. They had to have done, otherwise they could not have broadcast Chad the Stalker's voice (which sounded like he was delivering a ransom demand through a voice modulator like Gary Sinise: "I ASSUME YOU GOT MY LETTER. YOU'RE AN ELOI. NOW, THE MORLOCKS . . . THEY LIVE UNDERGROUND**) on the show. Meanwhile, she doesn't recognize Hanging Chad's handwriting, point of view, or stylistic choices for at least a page and a half. The whole thing was stupid, and unneeded given the ridiculous train collision that later occurred at Crime Family HQ. I'm sure there were 3-4 more minutes of good footage from that trashcan fire.
**NSFW language warning
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
krista4 said:
I ASSUME YOU READ MY POST. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
Da Guru
Fair & Balanced
Ashley P the drunk from Sean's season lives in my area. They interviewed her on local TV and she said everything is timed and scripted...they tell you when and who to interrupt the other girls conversations. Also she said they tell you to be confrontational with other girls in the house and that half the fights are fake. They make sure there is plenty of alcohol everywhere. Said the girls thought Chris Harrison was a creeper always lurking around off camera when everybody was changing. Said that Harrison was stuffy had very little interaction with anyone other than when he was on camera and then he acted like he was best friends with all the girls. They tape 12-14 hours a day so there is tons of down time.
General Malaise
Footballguy
x 10000
General Malaise
Footballguy
WE KNOW ALL THIS! IT'S STILL REAL TO US, DAMN IT!
You think rasslin fans don't know it's an act? IT'S TELEVISION! ARE WE NOT ENTERTAINED??!?!?!?!!1111
Da Guru
Fair & Balanced
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Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Only one out of 137 million people (15 SD) have an IQ greater than 185. That's about 54 people based on the earths population. The likelihood of any of them spending time in here posting about the bachelor is infinitesimal.
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Surprised no comments on this episode. This has to be the worst thing ever done by a guy on Bachelor. Not only do you not have to tell these women that you love them, but they expect that you will not be able to share those feelings even if you had them. In that scenario, saying you love her is akin to saying your choice is made, she can let her guard down and has nothing to worry about. Great thing to say right before the fantasy suite, and if everyone didn't like Ben the public would be calling him out on it. Now rather than going into the final rose with uncertainty, each woman is thinking it is a mere formality, certain she is about to receive a proposal. It's setting up for the most brutal elimination ever, all because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. His best course of action at this point would be to see if they would move with him to Utah.
Power Monster
The Midnight Stalker
The producers have pushed this season to the ultimate "soapy" conclusion. Is this guy that much out of tune with reality that he tells two women he loves them both knowing full well that the objective of the show is to select one woman? I had a feeling that he was not going to make up his mind. He is like a kid in a candy store that cannot make up his mind.
Great dump on Caila - you have all the qualifications that I am looking for in a wife but I just don't love you. The raft ride had nothing on a romp on the beach with Lauren in her Daisy Dukes and a helicopter ride to a pristine water fall with JoJo and her jojo's hanging out all over the place in a skin toned bikini. Too much drama. Too soapy. I bet he cuts Lauren B then retracts. Lauren B is the better catch. JoJo is just some spoiled little princess with a dysfunctional family of stooges. But then again, Ben still needs to go ask his parents who he should choose.
Great dump on Caila - you have all the qualifications that I am looking for in a wife but I just don't love you. The raft ride had nothing on a romp on the beach with Lauren in her Daisy Dukes and a helicopter ride to a pristine water fall with JoJo and her jojo's hanging out all over the place in a skin toned bikini. Too much drama. Too soapy. I bet he cuts Lauren B then retracts. Lauren B is the better catch. JoJo is just some spoiled little princess with a dysfunctional family of stooges. But then again, Ben still needs to go ask his parents who he should choose.
McGarnicle
Footballguy
Thought it would've been funny if right before the rose ceremony one of the girls said to the other "Hey, just as a heads up and I'd hate to see you being led on...Ben told me he loves me!!!"
Otis
Footballguy
I don't think this is the group of guys you want to challenge. I'd say conservatively most posters in here have at least 50 IQ points less than you. You remind me of John Stossell who thought it would be cool to go "rasslin bashing" one night. He ended up in the hospital. Careful who you taunt…
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Speaking of wrasslin', I'd like to open hand slap Jojo's jojos.
General Malaise
Footballguy
So he said "I love you" to more than one woman. So what? You guys never pledged love to 2 people at the same time? Please...what the hell WERE you doing in the 90s? It's 3 words, not a written contract. Gotta have hard bark to go on TV.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Jo Jo has some quality skin.
Joe T
Footballguy
nirad3
Footballguy
LOL @ them doing the whole rose ceremony, especially with him pausing and giving the requisite "Bachelor Sigh" (I still may trademark this) before giving out the second rose. As if he was going to go back on telling the blonde broad he loves her and then proposing to the "real estate developer" on the spot. That, actually, would have been quality TV right there. Then the psycho brothers could have emerged from behind the bushes and beat the living crap out of him.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
"Real estate developer"
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Maybe they're just not open to the process. Jamaica is the perfect place to fall in love.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
At the outset I thought the Jamaican weather was going to rival the gale-force conditions we saw in the Bahamas or wherever the hell their other non-budget-stretching Caribbean location was like lo, those ten days back. But then Mo Nature settled and we confirmed that only these producers can make Jamaica look like Rangoon or Camden, NJ. Caila's river ride down the Ganges featured an ill-timed reboot of her programming, and she and Ben soon shared some awkward "jerk chicken" at a place with a name like a reggae rub-n-tug. This girl seems inoffensive but is completely fake, and I don't want to watch a second more of her, which is usually the main qualification for the next Bachelorette, so ink her in.
Meanwhile Lauren got adorable sea turtles and "Mel" while Joelle and her assets choppered around and broke out that. Damn. Swimsuit.
I assume he had relations with all three. Of the two actual contenders, Joelle sure looked much cuter in the morning, as Lauren had one of her periodic aging Keebler elf faces on post-roll. What a chameleon. One awkward dispatch of Bachelorette Caila (zzzzzzz) later, with her ALMOST dealing the How Could You Bang Me Card but stopping at the last second, two love-yous and it's chaos. A clearly drunken Harrison slips in to collect his $200K check for 30 seconds' work, makes faces, and then we have an RC with very little suspense (and no Harrison). Floved the clumsy champagne toasts as both gals knew something was up. Jojo looked hot; Lauren looked fine. Off to . . . exotic Irvine for the finale? Oh, no, back to Indiana, I guess, or something, after TWTA and the OliviaFest.
Insane brothers aside, he should pick Jojo and her developments, but he won't. And I didn't care about the I love you x 2 play, because it was hilarious and this show is camp.
Meanwhile Lauren got adorable sea turtles and "Mel" while Joelle and her assets choppered around and broke out that. Damn. Swimsuit.
I assume he had relations with all three. Of the two actual contenders, Joelle sure looked much cuter in the morning, as Lauren had one of her periodic aging Keebler elf faces on post-roll. What a chameleon. One awkward dispatch of Bachelorette Caila (zzzzzzz) later, with her ALMOST dealing the How Could You Bang Me Card but stopping at the last second, two love-yous and it's chaos. A clearly drunken Harrison slips in to collect his $200K check for 30 seconds' work, makes faces, and then we have an RC with very little suspense (and no Harrison). Floved the clumsy champagne toasts as both gals knew something was up. Jojo looked hot; Lauren looked fine. Off to . . . exotic Irvine for the finale? Oh, no, back to Indiana, I guess, or something, after TWTA and the OliviaFest.
Insane brothers aside, he should pick Jojo and her developments, but he won't. And I didn't care about the I love you x 2 play, because it was hilarious and this show is camp.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
Don't get me wrong, it's going to be great/awful entertainment to see one (both?) of these women get disappointed on a scale we haven't seen yet. It's still just dumb of him to play it that way in this situation.
And, yeah, Lauren looks like she's revising a role from the Mudd's Women episode of the original Star Trek.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
She looks fine to this dispassionate observer. I get a non-snaggletoothed Jewel vibe, sans cans.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Gr00vus said:
I hear ya. But who knows what percentage (that is, 95% versus 100%) was producer-driven. I just hope Jojo gets the B'ette gig out of this despite the conventional wisdom that the runner-up can't land it due to logistics.
The Mudd's Women comparison is brilliant and as a TOS fan, I'm ashamed I didn't think of it. Great call. Lauren could even be poor Vina as reassembled by the Talosians versus her illusion state in Pike's mind. Now I feel bad saying that. But there's just something off about her appearance from scene to scene.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
You're not IMO.bigbottom said:
Sure. She's attractive (but not as attractive as I thought when the season started). It's just that her looks change disturbingly on a dime drop for no apparent reason.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Necessary to balance the studied cool of evaluating two women's looks. Veneers up.
This was hands down the best part of the episode IMO. What a dilemma for her. She clearly got out of the car to confront him about the secks, but quickly realized she'd be throwing herself under the bus a bit by doing so. That led to her, with as much aggression as I'd imagine she has, come within' a nanosecond of what would've been one of the greatest scenes in the show's history. Regarding his decision, her question after she popped out her departing ride was something along the lines of "So did you know before....(she pauses and processes, to her credit much more quickly than most contestants would have, as she struggled to hold in what she clearly wanted to say which was "you railed me in the fantasy suite?" and simply shortened it to)....this week?" Ben knew what she was asking, and handled it as well as he could have. A subtle and underrated moment that was simply fantastic. I wonder if these contestants are under any form of contract that prohibits them discussing/saying anything about anything like the fantasy suite interactions?Aerial Assault said:
Also agree to a previous poster that it would've been great if one of Lauren or Jojo would've told the other at the rose ceremony that Ben said he loved her.
Uwe Blab
Footballguy
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
All the characters at Previously TV seem to think that it's impossible for the runner-up to be The Bachelorette because The B'ette starts filming within 30 seconds or something once After the Final Rose wraps. And I've never grasped the problem. The producers know who "won," so why can't they just groom (sorry) the runner-up to be the purported star of the next season and keep it quiet? If they had time to hose Britt last year in that silly debacle, I think they can figure out how to defeat this supposed logistical nightmare. The indefatigable Harrison probably has some ideas in between counting his money.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Great post.
I don't think there's a contract about that, or not one that anyone takes seriously, because we had a similar sort of drama with Juan Doucho and Clare. IIRC she did kinda confront him about the same issue. But I couldn't stand that dude and barely watched that season. Maybe I misunderstood.
Scoresman
Footballguy
Because they always announce the bachelorette on the final show and it would look terrible if they brought out this teary eyed girl who obviously isnt quite over Ben, had her confront Ben, and then 5 minutes later everything's rosy and forgotten because guess what, she's the Bachelorette! Also, the logisitics and schedule for filming the Bachelorette have been the same since day one involving network schedules and I could see a reluctance to stray from that.
I feel like they could change it up if they really wanted to, however, and JoJo is by far the best candidate of the bunch. It would just mean a huge departure from their routine.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Right; good points. But they break their own rules on this franchise every ten minutes, and you bet they could change it up. Say, a special episode introducing The Bachelorette. Or have a web video on abc.com and make the announcement there. Use that ridiculous aftershow that Harri$$$on has been hosting. I don't think this is a hard problem to conquer, and if it exempts everyone from Caila the Tearless Sobber as the Bachelorette, life improves.
Plus Jojo's family would be reality gold. Desiree's brazen bro got *her* the gig after all.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
This is what happens when a certain someone stops blogging. It creates a void into which anything may flow.
Live long and suck it.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
I think that's another thing that's not gotten enough attention. He obviously nailed all 3 of these women on the overnight deals. Has that ever happened before? Doesn't at least one of the women usually opt out or put limits on what goes on?
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