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The Colonblow Diaries (1 Viewer)

Things have begun to get...how to put this tactfully...a little "loose" in the bowel movement department.
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So are we talking brown gravy bad yet? You know when you have the runs so bad it sounds like your pissing! *BEWARE* of the floaters if you are,especially if you have dogs.One flush just won't cut it and there's nothing worse than having your dog come lick you and then an hour later after round two of tacobells revenge kicks in you go and see the fatty #### chunks still floating in the bowl!
 
*BEWARE* of the floaters if you are,especially if you have dogs.One flush just won't cut it and there's nothing worse than having your dog come lick you and then an hour later after round two of tacobells revenge kicks in you go and see the fatty #### chunks still floating in the bowl!
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You could always put the seat down...
 
i just had to post in this classic thread. i have nothing to say, just wanted to get in before this thing goes nuts. keep the updates coming :thumbup:

 
Can someone explain to me exactly why I can't stop thinking about this thread? I feel the uncontrollable need to check it every 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong, VD (how appropriate are those initials?) is a good guy and all, but it's not like we're related. Why the heightened interest on my part? Until now, I have never noticed an unusual draw to poop stories, but now I sit here and wait with bated breath for the next entry in this God forsaken diary. :confused:

 
*BEWARE* of the floaters if you are,especially if you have dogs.One flush just won't cut it and there's nothing worse than having your dog come lick you and then an hour later after round two of tacobells revenge kicks in you go and see the fatty #### chunks still floating in the bowl!
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You could always put the seat down...
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LOL, I was raised better than that ;) My problem is my great dane and boxer will nose it open any way :wall: It does not matter how many times a day I give them fresh water in thier bowl,they will still drink out of the toilet.
 
Can someone explain to me exactly why I can't stop thinking about this thread? I feel the uncontrollable need to check it every 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong, VD (how appropriate are those initials?) is a good guy and all, but it's not like we're related. Why the heightened interest on my part? Until now, I have never noticed an unusual draw to poop stories, but now I sit here and wait with bated breath for the next entry in this God forsaken diary. :confused:
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It has everything.Suspense - When will the "Big Splash" occur. Or will it ?Drama - VD lives alone. He may die from this and we will never find out.Humor - Someone is describing their expeditions to the throne and most of the FFA wants :pics: Plus the narrative is reading like an Animal Kingdom Marlon Perkins and Jim show.I'm just "hypmotized" by this one.Can we get one of the ladies of the FFA to try this next ?
 
Can we get one of the ladies of the FFA to try this next ?
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Now that you mention it, I was thinking of purchasing some of this... I read the testimonials. Looks intriguing.http://www.colonblow.comYou even get a colonblow tshirt with the deal. The best part is, you drink it for dinner at night, then breakfast and then lunch. It's a 24 hour deal basically. I could handle that.
 
Nice job, Viv :thumbup: Extra points for the creativity and willingness to step up to the plate on this one. Risk would seem to equal reward, though, as it's destined to put you in the FBG Hall of Fame (assuming there is, or will be, one). Keep it coming :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

 
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I'm hopping in here to:a) throw in my support and best wishes to VD in this amazing saga and, b) suggest we band together with one mighty sig line and give VD daily doses o' positive mojo on every post we make.If anyone seconds the sig line motion, post a separate thread and we can hammer something out there.

 
This thread reminded me of one of my favorite spams ever, which I feel I must share with everyone.

Send reply to: <coloncleanse2ab1@excite.com>From: <coloncleanse2ab1@excite.com>To: ASubject: RE: Bowels, How do you Clean them? Date sent: Wed, 08 Jan 2003 04:08:18 -0200 Let me ask you this...which is worse? A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry thistime.B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor andget poked, prodded, X-ray'd, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a callfor a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced coloncancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years leftto live. He tells you it's time to get your house in order because you'llbe checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today. A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the Universityof Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midstof the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and childbehind, wondering what just hit them. Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? Formost of us, we do it so we won't need false teeth and Fixodent down theroad...right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great. But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bagaround? Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD's AGREE with us!!Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse inthe world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I'm notkidding... This subject is not even up for debate. It's a proven fact. The problemis, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don't be one ofthem. ****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic materialwhich may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.Let's talk stools.The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it's dark brown incolor, and it sinks, and it stinks, that's not good. And don't feel bad,that's the way most people are. What you want to see is light browncolor, which means it's full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor,and a stool that floats. We're talking low-density here folks. The morecompaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If theveins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the benchpress, you NEED to cleanse your colon. When you do the cleanse, after the first few days, you will know you arecleansing when you see the above good stuff happening, and you areeliminating at least 2-3 times per day. Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. Its also very economical at$51.50, for all three products. You may be very surprised at some of thebenefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from yourbody and brightening your future health.People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne,cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restoredregularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that areconstantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to healagain. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from yourfood and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with theresults. At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside yourown colon, or you're ready to do something about cleaning it out. Want more info? Click here and I'll send it to you, including instructionson how to take it. And yes, I have taken it myself.Currently available only in the U.S. and Canada. Seeking Distributors tomeet high demand.Ttv--5 mailto:dka@btamail.net.cn?subject=ColonCleanseInfoPlease**********************************************<snip-b.s. removal instructions removed>
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Is it just me or does the part that goes "We're talking low-density here folks." remind anyone else of a cross between a faith healer and rocko?
 
Can we get one of the ladies of the FFA to try this next ?
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Now that you mention it, I was thinking of purchasing some of this... I read the testimonials. Looks intriguing.http://www.colonblow.comYou even get a colonblow tshirt with the deal. The best part is, you drink it for dinner at night, then breakfast and then lunch. It's a 24 hour deal basically. I could handle that.
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It can't be as good as the 10 day deal, but only sacrificing only 1 day might be worth it
 
i said this before when rocko graced our boards.i don't care if VD is an alias or not. he makes the board a better place to be around and i for one welcome him and his soon to be clean bowels.once his process is done i'll seriously be considering taken my bowels on in a 12 round deathmatch.

 
F this place. I started cleansing my bowels 4 ####ing days ago and VD gets all the ####ing credit. F### it!! :boxing:

 
I hurt myself I was laughing so hard at some of these testimonials.....(fromColonblow.com). ..Then, the strangest thing happened. About 1:00 in the afternoon, I went to the bathroom to take a leak, but had a new magazine, so I sat down, and had a read..usually when I sit, I crap anyway..i can't explain it. Well, it happened again. A loaf that I would classify as big to huge, but wiped completely clean. I got up, and inspected it, finding that my loaf was not only huge, but dense, with many colors, and shapes throughout. It was like a huge crap, that was made up of many other small craps strung together....NICE huh? I was pretty excited to say the least. That all changed when I flushed, and the toilet in my mothers house clogged up instantly...I tried to plunge...no luck, I tried flushing again... BIG MISTAKE. Up came A MONSTER..All over the bathroom..I tried to plunge the toilet to get it to stop, but there was nothing I could do. Crap was everywhere.. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen, but I couldn't help from laughing as I struggled to control it. I had to drive to the hardware store, buy an industrial sized plumbing snake, and snake the crap out of the toilet. About two hours later, I had finally cleaned up...including mopping and scrubbing everything in the entire bathroom, I called EVERYBODY to tell them what had just happened to me. Colonblow indeed!!!

 
Can we get one of the ladies of the FFA to try this next ?
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Now that you mention it, I was thinking of purchasing some of this... I read the testimonials. Looks intriguing.http://www.colonblow.comYou even get a colonblow tshirt with the deal. The best part is, you drink it for dinner at night, then breakfast and then lunch. It's a 24 hour deal basically. I could handle that.
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That's the link I asked VD about earlier in the thread.If you have already read some of the testimonials I believe if VD had gone that route we would already have had "Splashdown".
 
F this place.  I started cleansing my bowels 4 ####ing days ago and VD gets all the ####ing credit. 

F### it!!

:boxing:
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it's all in the presentation.
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Do you really want presentation? Cause I've got your ####ing presentation coming out my ###!! :rant:
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Details. But no :pics: necessary.What did you use ?

How long did it take ?

What came out ?

I believe there are several of us thinking of "taking the plunge". More than one narrative about how it worked out would be a good thing. I'll give you as much credit as you can handle, details please !!!! :yes:

 
Day 1, 10:00 PM

I have just finished the first day without solid food of my entire adult life. I have voluntarily given myself what amounts to little better than diarrhea for the amusement of the faceless denizens of a football message forum. I'm about to head in for my second shower of the day because I'm overcome by the horrifying sensation that the little hairs near my backside exit may be starting to stick together.

And all in all, I don't feel all that badly about things. :thumbup:

Yes, I'd still rather be sitting here shovelling s'mores in my gaping maw. And yes, I'm a little distraught that urbanhack mentioned that after 3 days he saw no noteworthy difference in his poos, while I'm so far along I'm thinking of installing television in there. But so far, the experience isn't so bad.

Six delicious* beverages scattered through the course of the day seem to have taken care of any real feelings of hunger. Guess that'll be the M.O. again tomorrow. Perhaps a slightly lighter dose of Smooth Move in the AM will help to stave off some of this can time. Will report.

For now, signing off.

VD

* - Not really.

 
I am waiting for crayons he ate as a child in school to show up. That would be impressive. :thumbup: GO V!!
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seriously. i would like VD to start counting the rings in his poo to see how old they are.
 
i, much like some other posters, don't have anything constructive to add, but just wanted a chance to "touch" history if i could.people always remember where they were when they heard about Kennedyeach one of us will always remember the circumstances around us when we found out VD had dropped the big onethis is something to tell our grandkids about

 
:rotflmao: And to think, it hasn't even gotten good yet. :excited: How sick am I to be curious what 30 years of funk looks like?

 
Irritation: Beginning to wane slightly, but I still wouldn't suggest you walk anywhere near me brandishing a Big Bacon Classic.
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:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: classic
 
I have voluntarily given myself what amounts to little better than diarrhea for the amusement of the faceless denizens of a football message forum.
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Thank you. One day they will write songs about you. :thumbup:
 
Day 1, 10:00 PM

I have just finished the first day without solid food of my entire adult life. I have voluntarily given myself what amounts to little better than diarrhea for the amusement of the faceless denizens of a football message forum. I'm about to head in for my second shower of the day because I'm overcome by the horrifying sensation that the little hairs near my backside exit may be starting to stick together.

And all in all, I don't feel all that badly about things. :thumbup:

Yes, I'd still rather be sitting here shovelling s'mores in my gaping maw. And yes, I'm a little distraught that urbanhack mentioned that after 3 days he saw no noteworthy difference in his poos, while I'm so far along I'm thinking of installing television in there. But so far, the experience isn't so bad.

Six delicious* beverages scattered through the course of the day seem to have taken care of any real feelings of hunger. Guess that'll be the M.O. again tomorrow. Perhaps a slightly lighter dose of Smooth Move in the AM will help to stave off some of this can time. Will report.

For now, signing off.

VD

* - Not really.
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Good job V.D. Knowing your taste in music, just think of this as your own Liquid Tension Experiment.
 
Question:Doesnt the stuff you have to take before a colonoscopy (full) due the same to your system as this?When I woke amist a anthestialogist awe, I was able to watch my 'innerds' on the TV. I didnt see any worms of the sort. Though I did think I saw fucla doing some research for his next post ...

 
I too would like to jump in this thread and lend my support to Viv and UH in their unwavering goal to clear their bowels of all old and decrepit fecal matter.I hereby change my sig to reflect the support that these wonderful pillars of the FBG community need in their days of bowel purification.

 
Hey guys - What is the difference between what Viv is doing and buying a product called Colonblow?http://store.yahoo.com/colonblow/colonblow3pack.html

The Colonblow 3-Pack contains three complete Colonblows. So, one person can accomplish three complete Colonblows, or three different people can Colonblow once. Therefore, the Colonblow 3-Pack is a great way to Colonblow with your friends, or, use the Colonblow 3-Pack to help address your own long-term colon health.For best results, Colonblow three complete times, 10 days apart, or up to 60 days apart. This aggressive time-frame format (10 days apart) may also expedite and assist your weight loss/management program. Not to mention help increase energy and most of all... get the crap out. FREE short sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase two Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. FREE long sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase three Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. Please specify shirt size in Comment Field, (L, XL). NOTE: This promotion requires the purchase of MULTIPLE Colonblow 3-Packs.
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wouldn't this be cheaper and easier to do than what Viv is doing for the same net effect? :confused:
 
Is it possible to "Keerock" VD's poop? :eek: Just wondering
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Not a chance, and no need. It's ranked very high, but there is every chance that it will live up to it's billing, and then some...
 
Day 2, 9:40 AM

Contrary to what some were predicting, and I was fearing, I was not up all hours of the night sprinting to the can. In fact, I spent a very peaceful night, once I got past the fear that any and all flatulence might wind up as a mattress stain. Seems a Smooth Move HLT sipped in the morning lasts me just long enough to get me through a day-o-poopin'.

I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up as Good News. :thumbup:

On today's scientific agenda:

1) Will Day 2 feature fewer cravings and less distraction than Day 1? Trying to help future FBG cleansers schedule their MC's. A tough Day 1, followed by a more moderate and manageable Day 2 would lend itself to a Sunday start -- good for the work week, and all that.

2) Will there be any noticable effect yet on my daily energy cycle? (Ref. earlier post.)

3) Of course, what will be the frequency and (more importantly) nature of my bathroom experiences?

4) (This slot remains open for God only knows what.) ?????

W/r/t: Liquid Tension Experiment crack above -- I give this piece of comedy the official Master Cleanse seal of approval. Whether this is something you would wish bestowed upon your efforts, I leave to your judgement.

More later.

 
Hey guys - What is the difference between what Viv is doing and buying a product called Colonblow?http://store.yahoo.com/colonblow/colonblow3pack.html

The Colonblow 3-Pack contains three complete Colonblows. So, one person can accomplish three complete Colonblows, or three different people can Colonblow once. Therefore, the Colonblow 3-Pack is a great way to Colonblow with your friends, or, use the Colonblow 3-Pack to help address your own long-term colon health.For best results, Colonblow three complete times, 10 days apart, or up to 60 days apart. This aggressive time-frame format (10 days apart) may also expedite and assist your weight loss/management program. Not to mention help increase energy and most of all... get the crap out. FREE short sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase two Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. FREE long sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase three Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. Please specify shirt size in Comment Field, (L, XL). NOTE: This promotion requires the purchase of MULTIPLE Colonblow 3-Packs.
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wouldn't this be cheaper and easier to do than what Viv is doing for the same net effect? :confused:
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This strikes me as a different means to the same end. At the dawn of the Exploration Age, some men struck off across the sea, some across the mountains.I'm doing my part. Perhaps some other misguided soul will scale that mountain.
 
Hey guys - What is the difference between what Viv is doing and buying a product called Colonblow?http://store.yahoo.com/colonblow/colonblow3pack.html

The Colonblow 3-Pack contains three complete Colonblows. So, one person can accomplish three complete Colonblows, or three different people can Colonblow once. Therefore, the Colonblow 3-Pack is a great way to Colonblow with your friends, or, use the Colonblow 3-Pack to help address your own long-term colon health.For best results, Colonblow three complete times, 10 days apart, or up to 60 days apart. This aggressive time-frame format (10 days apart) may also expedite and assist your weight loss/management program. Not to mention help increase energy and most of all... get the crap out. FREE short sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase two Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. FREE long sleeve Colonblow Logo T when you purchase three Colonblow 3-Packs in the same transaction, going to the same shipping address. Please specify shirt size in Comment Field, (L, XL). NOTE: This promotion requires the purchase of MULTIPLE Colonblow 3-Packs.
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wouldn't this be cheaper and easier to do than what Viv is doing for the same net effect? :confused:
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This strikes me as a different means to the same end. At the dawn of the Exploration Age, some men struck off across the sea, some across the mountains.I'm doing my part. Perhaps some other misguided soul will scale that mountain.
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I will scale that mountain. Just so long as the mountain has nice public bathrooms that get serviced regularly.
 
Hey guys - What is the difference between what Viv is doing and buying a product called Colonblow?wouldn't this be cheaper and easier to do than what Viv is doing for the same net effect? :confused:
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GM - I believe the difference is that the Master Cleanser is not only for intestinal excavation, but a complete body detoxification. It claims to clean out all of the impurities from every cell in your body to improve your overall health and vitality. The colon blow would strictly be a thorough cleansing for the bowels. It just all comes out the same opening.
 
I believe the difference is that the Master Cleanser is not only for intestinal excavation, but a complete body detoxification. It claims to clean out all of the impurities from every cell in your body to improve your overall health and vitality.
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Neato!
 
Neato!
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Didn't know you were getting all that, did you!I tried this last year so I know a bit about it. I made it 3 days - nothing but lemonade and laxative tea - and NOTHING. I didn't even poo once! I even did the salt water wash where you chug 1/2 a gallon of warm water and sea salt and still nothing (EDIT - Do NOT attempt this - it's awful). I must have a colon of steel. I forget why we (my wife was also doing it) stopped but I'm intending to try again soon for a longer period.Godspeed Viv.
 
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I think I'll name my FF team the "fecal worms" next year. Hey viv/urbanhack, how bout some pics for my avatar? :thumbup:

 
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