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The Hug Life Chronicles: :( (2 Viewers)

In order of likelihood:

Has a kid

Keeps her surgically removed penis in a pickle jar on her kitchen counter

Lives with her parents

Secretly hates the Saints

Owns a pet raptor

Took a vow of front hole chastity, but is open to exploring the semicolon

Period

 
Bob Sacamano said:
In order of likelihood:

Has a kid

Keeps her surgically removed penis in a pickle jar on her kitchen counter

Lives with her parents

Secretly hates the Saints

Owns a pet raptor

Took a vow of front hole chastity, but is open to exploring the semicolon

Period
Click to expand...
I put my money on number 2, but, still attached, and still in a pickle jar. It is N'awlins, after all.

 
Bob Sacamano said:
In order of likelihood:

Has a kid

Keeps her surgically removed penis in a pickle jar on her kitchen counter

Lives with her parents

Secretly hates the Saints

Owns a pet raptor

Took a vow of front hole chastity, but is open to exploring the semicolon

Period
Click to expand...
Only 2 of these would be a deterrent. As for which 2, I'll leave that up to the imagination.  :unsure:  

 
Turn to page #128 if you want Lacy to have herpes simplex 2.

Turn to page #96 if you want Lacy to live in the back of a Buick Sport Wagon. 

 
In true FFA classic fashion...She either stands to pee or has a friend named Mike that likes to watch and then use the leftovers as lotion.

 
Don't Noonan said:
Her ex gave her herpes
Click to expand...
Good answer, good answer!

I mean, not really so good, but if we were playing for points, good answer.

ETA: nah, she was giggling mischievously when she said it. It's something playful. Maybe she's a dominatrix.

 
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If she gets naked and begins to cuddle it’s a clear signal that she just wants to be friends.

 
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Someone’s already referenced the Family Guy episode where Peter tries his hand at erotic fiction, right?  

Good on ya, NRJ, live the good life the rest of us don’t have the energy for!

 
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Nathan R. Jessep said:
I officially introduced myself to Lacy and we exchanged pleasantries. We both mingled around the group but I made sure I made eye contact and smiled each time I was in her vicinity. Eventually I made my way back to my prime balcony spot and she soon came over to where I was and we chit chat a bit. She invited me and one other person standing nearby to play her favorite balcony people watching game "What's Their Story?" where you pick a person or couple out on the street below and predict where they are from and what they do for a living. One funny one was when we spotted 2 dudes talking across the street and she tapped them for the game, so we all make our guesses. I guessed Financial Planner for one of the guys. We laugh and move on to another couple and then the previous 2 dudes separated and one of them walked in our direction and Lacy said "hey I actually know that guy!" and got his attention and waved and talked to him for a minute. After the guy walked off, I said "Ok you know that guy, right? What's his profession?? Let's see who won that round!" She starts laughing to herself and said "he actually IS a financial planner" and I celebrated raucously. :bowtie:  So we played a few rounds of that, and I got some more laughs from her, which is always a good sign. I had noticed 2 other guys in our group, both friends of Kate (one of them was who Josie had paired up with the previous night) whom I had met before, but didn't know well, had also been sticking fairly close to Lacy and chatting her up. So I am aware at that point that they are also vying for her attention, but I feel like I'm doing pretty well so far. 

Maybe an hour or so later, with dusk coming on, the group was getting antsy and wanted to take to the streets.  As we filed outside, I got in line behind Lacy, of course. As we walked, she leaned into me and got close a few times as she was talking. I knew this was a good sign too. She asked me some questions like where I was from, if I had kids, how I was part of this group, where we were staying, etc.. I answered her questions and, very intentionally, informed her of our hotel situation and then I quizzed her a little bit as well. She was a lifelong friend of the guy whose place we were hanging out at and she had moved to Nola a couple years ago. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend and was kind of down about it so her friend had invited her to come hang out with all of us and have some fun to try and cure her blues. I knew she was younger than me, but didn't want to directly ask. At some point she had mentioned having a younger sister that was 26, so I figured that she was probably early 30's. I would find out later that she's actually 28.

We hit up a nearby club and the group goes upstairs to a balcony overlooking the dance floor area but it was crowded so part of the group headed back down. Lacy and I grabbed a spot along the balcony railing and observed for a bit, talking and laughing.  The group was ready to forage in search of food so we hit the streets again, and somebody in the group suggested a nearby place, so we headed out in that direction. One of the guys in our group of about 12 people was wearing a skirt and suspenders (no shirt) and the host/manager of restaurant we were trying to go to wouldn't seat him without a shirt. All his shirts were at his hotel which was too far to walk to, so we turned around and filed back out to find a plan B. We got across the street and the manager of the place we just exited yelled at us and waved us back over. Dude had gone to the back and gotten a white dress shirt from one of his workers and loaned it to our friend, so that we would stay and eat at his restaurant. (aside: That's kickass managing right there.)  I took a seat at the table next to Lacy.  One of the other aforementioned guys, Josie's "friend,'  was on the other side of Lacy, but Josie was sitting next to him, so I was hoping she'd keep his attention. Lacy and I chat a little and put my arm on the back of her chair and placed my hand on her back, which was exposed due to the cut of her dress. As we talked, I lightly caressed her bare back with my fingers. A couple of minutes later she leaned over and said "I feel like you might be trouble for me, because I should probably tell you to stop that, but I really don't want you to stop." I grinned and said "well I will stop if it's making you uncomfortable in any way" and she places her hand on my knee under the table, looked me in the eye and said "no, you're fine, you don't have to stop." :devil:

We finished dinner and the other guy that had been chatting Lacy (not the one sitting next to her) up bought dinner for the entire table. We shall call him Fred. The group headed over to another popular establishment for some of the crew, including Lacy, who were wanting to dance, and have more beverages of course. The group kind of got separated a bit inside the place, as it was huge. I said to Lacy, "let's go get a drink before we find our spot in here" and we walk around to the side bar which had no line. She bellies up to the bar and I get behind/beside her and put my arm around her and flagged the bartender down. She ordered a shot of tequila and I got a beer. I pay the man his money and she looks at me and shyly said "So.... hypothetically... and I'm not saying this is what we're doing, I'm just thinking through this.... if you were to come stay at my place tonight, would that be helpful for your sleeping arrangements?"  I grin and said "well, hypothetically, I think it certainly would be very helpful and that is a very polite offer. Hypothetically."  She smiled and said "Ok, I will keep that in mind"  and bit her lip. Good signs +1.  I took this opportunity, since we were close to each other in a reasonably quiet area and away from the crowd, to pull her in and kiss her. She grins and bites her lip again. I put my arm around her and said "let's go find our people" and we head to the other end of the place where our crew was posted up. 

I'm not much of a dancer normally, and I let Lacy know that, but I can go with the flow and I'm a team player. Just about everyone, except for Kate who refuses to dance, was on the floor so I got out there with the group and we were all acting a fool and having a good time. Lacy sticks close to me for the most part, but Fred is nearby as well. Fred is a ball of energy. A little bit older (than me) guy (guessing mid to late 40's), but one of those guys that has 2 speeds: wide-open and asleep. He was bouncing all over the place and was dancing with everyone nearby, including Lacy, intermittently. I danced to a few songs and retreated to the sidelines to drink my beer and observe for a bit. Lacy had some moves and was rocking that red dress, so i didn't mind just sitting back and watching her out on the dance floor at all. :wub: I saw Lacy walk over to the bar with Fred and he buys both of them a beer. She came back over and stood beside me a few minutes later, sans Fred, and leaned in and said to me "I hope you aren't upset because I was dancing with Fred. That was just dancing, and I want you to know that. He's a nice guy but there's nothing there for me." Then she looked me in the eye and said, while gesturing in the air between herself and me, "I like this." :devil: I said "Good. Me too." She said "I admit I am a little drunk, and this is very out of character for me, but I seriously think you're one of the nicest guys I've ever met and that is very very attractive to me. And I do want you to come home with me." I said, trying to play it cool, "I'd like that a lot." She kind of giggled to herself and said "in the interest of full disclosure, I do need to tell you one thing though." Oh ####, I think to myself, trying to predict what she might be about to tell me...
Click to expand...
Why hasn't she told you yet?

 
What I wouldn't do for an Arizona Ron Sex story right now. There is a hole in my life that is unfilled. No throwing aspersions at NRJ, he's doing the best he can with what he's got and I enjoy his stories immensely, but AZ Ron took it to another level. The freak was strong in that one.

 
brohans i have a bad feeling that the secret is that she is none other than cobra commander in disguise and that is not cool take that to the bank bromigos 

 
It sounds like she’s rebounding.  That often leads to a fast-paced beginning with an epic collapse.

NRJ has built up some experience here however so perhaps he’s ready to ride the wave.

 
Editor's note:

I realized just a few minutes ago, that I omitted a small part that needed to be included, though not crucial to the story as told thus far, it will become noteworthy later.

Will edit that last part to include this addendum:

Before we left the balcony, Lacy took off my Mardi Gras bead tie and puts it back around my neck and said "I like the way this looks on you better than on me" and grinned at me and I shot back "well, thank you, and to be honest, the view is better when you don't have that tie on"
Click to expand...

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Editor's note:

I realized just a few minutes ago, that I omitted a small part that needed to be included, though not crucial to the story as told thus far, it will become noteworthy later.

Will edit that last part to include this addendum:
Click to expand...
Ahhhh...the Colonel gets himself tied up in this one!!!   

Lacey: I enjoy...skinny-skiing...going to bullfights on acid. I'll bet you've got a lot of nice ties.
Ty: How do you mean?
Lacey: Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?
Click to expand...

 
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