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This is funny. (1 Viewer)

Nigel Tufnel said:
doughboydeluxe said:
CYP said:
Nigel Tufnel said:
Tom in Albany said:
I couldn't stop laughing at this
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That girl does something for me. :unsure:
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youre not alone
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Me three.
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I didn't have the sound on. What's she dancing to?
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I don't know... I didn't have the sound on either. I'm afraid to turn the sound on now, though, cause it might ruin it.ETA: I did turn the sound on, and I actually think it made it better. Sounds like some house music song or something.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says " I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

 
Guy goes to the doctor and says "Doc, you gotta help me. I have a tapeworm and I can't get rid of it." Doc says, "Ok. Here's what you do: go home, get an egg and a lemon cookie, and shove them up your ### once a day for a week." The guy thinks that's odd, but goes home and tries that for a week.

A week later, guy goes back to the Doc and says, "Doc, this isn't working! I shoved an egg and a lemon cookie up my ### all week and the tapeworm is still there!"

Doc says, "Pull down your pants and bend over." So the guy pulls down his pants and bends over.

The Doc shoves an egg up the guy's ### and waits. After a minute, the tape worm pops out and says, "Where's my lemon cookie?" and the Doc smashes the tapeworm with a hammer.

 
I heard an episode of This American Life where you get to listen to a pitch meeting in the offices of the fake comic newspaper The Onion. These are some of the headlines the writers were pitching:

Spork Used as Knife

Bag of Doritos Taunts Area Man

Pope Taught How to Create a Church By Interlocking Fingers

Area Girlfriends Demand More of Your Time

Woman Seen Crying Next to Penguin Exhibit

Area Man Not Technically Pathetic Since He Fails to Elicit Pathos

 
I was taking a trip to New York City.

I'm from a really small Texas town.

I told the little old lady in the drugstore that I would be leaving the next day.

She was thrilled.

"Oh my! My son lives in New York City and tomorrow is his birthday. If you see him could you wish him a happy birthday for me?"

"Sure ma'am, what's his name?"

"His name is John Dunn."

Well, that next day I got to New York City and sure enough if I didn't look out the window of my taxi cab to see a big building that said, "Dunn & Bradstreet."

I got out of that cab and walked in the front door right up to a lady who was sitting behind a desk answering telephones.

"Excuse me, but do you have a John?"

"Why yes sir. It's the first door down that hall there."

Well, I walked through that door and sure enough there was a man standing there.. doing his business at a urinal. I said to him,

"Excuse me. You Dunn?"

And he said, "Well as a matter of fact I am."

"Well your momma says happy birthday."

 
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