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This is funny. (2 Viewers)

The Pretzel was an unbeatable wrestler whose star move was, you guessed it, "The Pretzel". Joe was up against the Pretzel in a championship match, and the only advice his coach gave him was: "Don't let him put 'The Pretzel' on you." Nervous, Joe held his own in the match until the third quarter, when his opponent managed to slip him into this fearsome hold. The audience gasped, rooting for the underdog. There was a sudden scream from the entwined pair, Joe escaped, and won the match. Later, Joe's coach asked him how he escaped the Pretzel's grasp. Joe said, "Well, once he got me in the Pretzel, I thought I was done for. But there were these balls hanging up in my face, and I had nothing to lose, so I just bit them. And coach, let me tell you, you get a hell of a burst of energy when you bite yourself in the nuts."

 
Per Jackie Martling:

A man wearing a ski mask and holding a gun walks into a sperm bank. The woman says "This isn't that kind of bank, this is a sperm bank!" The man points the gun at her and says "I know what kind of bank it is, walk over to the fridge."

The woman walks over to the firdge.

"Take out one of the jars!"

She takes out one of the jars.

"Drink it!"

She looks at him with a confused look, and he points the gun at her.

"Drink it!"

She unscrews the cap, and takes a drink.

Her husband then removes the ski mask and says "See, now was that so bad?"

 
I'm a very religious kind of guy, so when I checked into my hotel I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick *******!!"

 

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