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Valentines Day Couple Publicly Shamed At Chili's For Being Too Poor On Social Media (5/30) (1 Viewer)


VIDEO: Social Media Influencer mocks poor man for not having enough money on Valentine's Day for his GF Feb 15, 2023

“Influencer” at Chili’s mocks man on Valentine’s Day Date with his wife for not having enough money, and posts it on social media


TIK TOK: 4evableeda


Direct Headline: Young Poor People Prefer Pets to People on Valentine’s Day

BY EPR STAFF 2020-11-30

Is the pressure of Valentine’s Day getting to you? There’s the big spending on flowers, candy, cards, dinner, Pajama grams and lingere. There’s the heightened expectations around expressing your love in the most abundant way possible, giving many people anxiety about the upcoming day of romance. Perhaps that’s why nearly 25% percent of people in a recent survey say they would prefer to spend time with their pet on Valentine’s Day than their spouse. It’s only 1 out of every 5 people, but still. Ouch. Puppy love just got a whole new meaning.

The interesting part of the survey wasn’t that the French seem to be more in love than the rest of the 22 countries surveyed, with only 10% saying they’d rather pet their pets on Valentine’s Day. It was the socioeconomic correlation between those that would prefer to spend the day with their furry friend than their significant other. The younger and poorer of the 24,000 people surveyed were more likely to choose their pet over their spouse for Valentine’s Day. Additionally notable is the fact that men and women were split evenly over this specific demographic....

Then again, maybe that’s the point. What does it really say about those 25% of the less affluent when they choose their pets over their human companions? I suppose the pressures of Valentine’s Day really can get to you. And when I think about it, my boyfriend and I already got our dogs Valentine’s Day shirts, though we have yet to decide what we’ll be doing for each other. Maybe there is something to this whole pet love thing. A new trend, even?

I can’t say that I’d rather spend the entire day of romance with my dog than my man, but it’s clear that our modern concepts around Valentine’s Day are thoroughly affecting our ability to enjoy it for what it is. Valentine’s Day should be every day. It’s cliche, but if you come to that understanding with your significant other, perhaps the pressure to spend money on Valentine’s Day will elude you. Then the two of you can get back to what Valentine’s Day should really be about–the two of you.

Dogs can’t eat chocolate anyway.


Direct Headline: What To Do When You're Poor But In Love This Valentine's Day

by MEGAN MANN JAN. 28, 2016

... Although we should celebrate love and all of its many splendors throughout the year, February 14 asks us to celebrate it in a big way. Valentine’s Day is also one of the most worrisome days for many of us, as we’re never exactly sure what’s too much and what’s not enough....Another fear is the fear of being broke. That’s okay....Here are a few ways to make the day special without breaking the bank:

1. Try out crafts.

2. Be sentimental.

Don’t overthink it. Go out and look for something that has sentimental value for the both of you. You could buy the movie you saw together on your first date, get some popcorn and candy and recreate the entire night.
You could get tickets to a show featuring an artist you both discovered together, or go play laser tag like you did one rainy Friday night when you realized you were in love. It’ll show you pay attention and remember the moments -- both big and small -- that are important in your relationship.

4. Write it down.

People seriously underestimate the power of a well-written love letter. We underestimate how much it would mean to our partners to have a tangible representation of our feelings for them. It can incite deeper feelings and remind you how much you care.

5. Make dinner.

Instead of fighting with the crowds of people on Valentine’s Day, do one better and make dinner at home. Find something you both love, or impress your significant other with your culinary skills. You could either give it a solo effort or make it more interactive by cooking together. It’s a fun date that keeps the noise of a packed restaurant away....It could also lead to a future of trying new food together....Plus, if you’re smart about your list, it will cost way less than the “specials” restaurants have for the lover’s holiday.



“It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.” - George Lorimer

“They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.” - Kahlil Gibran

"I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that." - Chris Rock

Here is another topic that is designed to increase discussion and participation in the FFA.

In the spirit of the recent Valentines Day, this thread will be about a video where a stranger mocks, belittles and shames another couple because he overheard that they didn't have enough money to pick what they wanted off of the menu. Clearly the couple were in earshot of the "social media influencer" From a media optics standpoint, this was an intentional strategy to try to garner more subscribers, clicks, views, etc, as a means to jumpstart an "individual brand" ( I added the link to the "influencer" account so that people can read the comments that others left behind for him)

However some questions remain. What would you do if you were the male at that counter and heard someone say that about you/your circumstances within earshot? How do you feel about this incident? Is the critic entirely wrong here? If he's wrong, does he still have a point? If you said something that offended someone else in a restaurant, and they confronted you, as could have happened here, what would you do? If someone in your dinner party said something like this, and you were sitting at that table, would you say anything? What would you say?

This situation is more complex than it seems on the surface. The critic should have said nothing. It's rude and it's uncivil. Particularly in the tone, timeline and context involved. But there are some larger unspoken realities that simply aren't politically correct to generally talk about. People are judged by their perceived social status and wealth. You will be generally treated better if you have a prestigious job title, career, nice car, nice home, nice clothes, signs of general wealth and affluence. One perspective is the critic is a total jerk. Asking to be punched in the face. Another less common perspective would be that he is implying it's pointless to be together with someone who cannot provide for you and a lack of creativity/effort is part of the equation here. Not being rude is a pretty simple concept in basic civil society. But there are things that people do, think silently and behave in which they don't talk about, and those things are often nowhere near what's seen as virtuous and politically correct.

I'll leave this here for others to discuss. (5/30)
He’s at Chilis too lol. Like he’s some big mover and shaker. Instead of making fun of him on social media, he should have slid him $40 without her seeing.

It'd be nice if he didn't have marbles in his mouth, too. I understood about 30% of what he said.
VIDEO: 5 AWESOME Valentine's Day Gift Ideas | Creative & Affordable Valentine's Day Gifts Jan 25, 2016

Love is a beautiful thing! And it's that time- Valentine's Day. Roses and chocolates are played-out. You can do better! In this video ..... discusses how to express your love for your one and only. The show is on, and an outward expression is expected.

1. Make a short video giving ten reasons why you're super pumped that she / he is your Valentine

2. Go paint pottery - drink and paint some pottery that's an expression of your love

3. Plan a spa day - you benefit too

4. Staycation - leave the house and have a romantic evening

5. Make an amazing dinner - plan not only the food but the ambiance too....




So the guy above, he's an idiot. That video highlights someone believing they are talking about what "working class" people can do, without realizing they are discussing some issues that working class people, many of them, cannot access and afford.

It's a problem that's growing in our society and it's a problem I've seen in these forums, from some though not all, over time ( i.e. having a truly poor understanding of how the "right on the edge" working class is struggling to meet their basic necessities. I'm talking a month and a half away from ending up on the street kind of financial situation. ) The "influencer" above thinks a "spa day" is being cost effective ( his mindset is likely that it's frugal over going on vacation somewhere instead) And while he has a point in a relative sense for those with more means, it doesn't help poor people. But he doesn't want poor people to be part of his "brand" They offer him little to no value in his other than likes, subscribes, shares, etc, etc and they certainly won't buy any of his self help Ebooks or personal coaching or buy through one of affiliate links.

But what "lessons" are important here?

OK, in the original TikTok video uploaded by the critical "influencer", lots of people are saying he should have paid for that meal for that couple. Honestly, I don't agree. In that kind of situation, it's best to be silent, try not to judge a situation in that context, and reflect on being grateful that you can order what you want off of the menu if you chose to do it.

Now if that young man, at the counter, who couldn't afford things on the menu asked me for advice, three months in advance before Valentines Day, what would I say to him?

1) Get in the best shape of your life. If you can't afford a gym then there are countless low cost ( in terms of equipment) to no cost workouts you can do. The internet is full of ideas to help someone get into better condition. It will make you look better, feel better, feel more confident and see the world in a more positive manner. He will also want to start eating right, hydrating right, take care of his hygiene, sleep well and "get right" on a physical level. Also if you don't have a ton of money, you can't afford a major medical disaster on your hands. Put the odds in your favor.

2) If you can't afford much, plan ahead and start writing down things/start planning things that are "creative" Maybe you can't afford a nice dinner out. But if you plan and shop for bargains or find deals, maybe you can create a nice dinner at home. Clean the house well, make the table look nice, get a candle, cook a nice dish, dress up and put on a suit. If you can't afford a suit, then find a thrift store and find the best you can. Or dress up the best you have. But dress up. Have her dress up as well. Always present your best, not to the world, but to yourself and to each other.

3) Something in the video above that is good advice is to make something. Together possibly. But plan ahead and make something. Now it's possible the person there did that in private. But maybe not. Make a card. Build something. Find something someone is giving away for free on Craiglist and refinish it. If you care enough and put in the effort, you can find a way.

4) If you don't have a budget to accommodate your needs, then find some side work. Try to start an online business. Go mow a lawn or two. Keep grinding to see if you can better your main job or further pursuit of a career that has financial upside. It's not shameful to be poor. It is however truly dangerous in this life to understand the utter lethality of being right on the edge, resent that poverty, and then have idle hands while the entire world is trying to crush you. Every day is an opportunity to better your situation. This is less about "Valentines Day" and more about having the right mindset to progress forward in life. Valentines Day is simply another problem to solve. Because things like creativity, active hands and constantly looking to improve your situation, even just incrementally on a daily basis, that's a good foundation to keep moving forward.

5) You have to be realistic to how the world works. If you are expected to be the primary bread winner, while someone will endure some poverty with you for a while, when you are young, that's going to wear out quickly. The No#1 cause of relationship conflict and divorce is fighting over money. Sometimes you run into someone who loves you for who you really are in this life. That is however not the case in 99.99999999 percent of committed long term relationships out there. In the majority, you are valuable as long as you offer utility. Once your utility is burned out, you are disposable. You have to ask yourself some hard questions on if you can even afford to be in a relationship at the moment, or if it's better to be single and just work on yourself, your health, your life, your situation, and your future alone. Bill Burr said it best one time, that no one wants to run the race with you, they want to wait at the finish line to pick a winner. While I think it's OK to date and have a good time, even with a partner, it's in these hard times that you should actually watch your "partner" carefully. Look for the truth of the matter. How do they react if you say you can't afford something on the menu. Do they comfort you and say it's OK, at least you are both together. Or do they show resentment. Or frustration. Or argue. Or boil it off and start a fight later over it.

"Success" is not defined by money. "Happiness" is not defined by money. However "money" is the exchange value that offers some safeguard against the reality that life is brutal and the world is constantly trying to crush you into a bloody pulp.

True happiness, true peace in your heart, it can only come from the inside. It can only come from within. It needs to be present if you are wealthy. It needs to be present even if you have to sleep on the streets. But to fight this world off, you need ammo. And tragically money is really the only kind of bullets that work most of the time. Having peace on the inside and having peace on the outside are two different things entirely, but both are extremely important.

Personally, I see marriage as pointless. I see long term committed relationships as pointless. But that's my perspective. I recognize other people see it differently. Some will say it's better to be poor together than poor alone. I disagree. If you are going to be poor, more often than not, be poor alone. At least then you still have some agency. I've seen it on both sides of that coin. If you are going to be wealthy, it's still better, more often than not, to be wealthy and alone. I'm not saying don't be open to sharing your life, but be judicious on whom you do share it with out there. Because whether you are poor or wealthy or somewhere in the middle, finding good people can be very hard. And in many cases, it's a function of luck as well. But the best hope for anyone is to shape yourself into the kind of person you'd want in your life yourself, and you stand a better chance to meet those people.

If you want to truly share your life, you have to build a life worth sharing. But even if you do, you have to accept that you may not meet good people out there, not at the right moment in your life. What happens to us is so much about timing and circumstance that is often out of our control. And for those not fortunate enough to meet good people, then the consolation prize needs to be that the "one person" you really need to find first is yourself.
So now Dodds is spamming with social media minutia that has no relevance to anything. Great work here FFA

Direct Headline: After 52 years of marriage, this Colorado couple eats the same meal at Chili’s every day

by: KMGH Staff Feb 14, 2020/ 12:34 PM EST

AURORA, Colo. — Every morning, as soon as the doors to the Chili’s Bar & Grill in Aurora open, 78-year-old Homer Day and 80-year-old Rosemary Day are there waiting to begin their regular lunch date. “It’s like the old TV show ‘Cheers,'” Homer said. “Everybody knows our names and we know theirs.” There’s no need for staff members to bring the Days a menu — they order the same thing every visit.

“She spent the first year at Chili’s — every day she would order the old-timer hamburger,” Homer said. “Now, currently, her main course is the children’s salad — a green salad — and two hamburger sliders.” It’s a simple meal that’s become one of the most important parts of the couple’s decades-long marriage. We met in 1967 in Albuquerque, New Mexico,” Homer said. “Rosemary worked at the telephone company and I did too. We rode the elevator and one day I made the statement that I had to go home and do my laundry and she figured out that I was single. And every morning — then she would make sure that she waited for the elevator, I think.”

Three months after they started dating, they got married. After 52 years of marriage, three children and four grandchildren, the Days hardest days of their relationship have yet to come. “Rosemary has an illness that can’t be cured — beginning of Alzheimer’s,” Homer said. “Rosemary has a difficult time communicating. Feeding her is difficult. That’s why we come to Chili’s.” They may order the same meal every day, but Homer said it’s one of the only full meals Rosemary will eat these days.

He said that’s due to the good food and staff that makes them feel welcome. “The people here know of our problem and they’re like family,” he said. Soon, the Days Chili’s lunch dates will end because Rosemary will require more care than Homer can give. “We are currently trying to find places where she eventually will have to be taken because I cannot continue taking care of her when she completely is unable to take care of herself,” he said. But until then, every morning at 11:30 a.m., the Days will be at their favorite restaurant enjoying Rosemary’s favorite meal and each moment together.

“I’ll be with her every single day until death do us part,” he said.



The story above illustrates that eating at Chili's can be a positive thing , in regards to the concept of love. The entire original situation was framed by that idiot "influencer" as a negative thing. But the context was he didn't know the story of the couple at the counter.

Most people going to eat in Colorado might not know about the couple in the article above. That you have two elderly lonely people who are trying to get by and stay together and that this daily routine at Chili's is a part of their process to have some social connection to the outside world and each other. It's a story people won't know because, to most others, they would look like any other older couple at a restaurant.

People can find love in the strangest of places. And hope in the most obscure of places.

I had a half ownership stake in a restaurant in the past. So I've seen all manners of people under all manners of financial conditions in that environment. The truth is you just don't know most of the time. You don't know what someone has gone through nor the pain they carry.

Sometimes I'd be asked to send a bottle of wine or drinks to another table, as a gift or a courtesy, and I would always suggest something like an appetizer instead. I grew up in a household full of alcoholism, and I was generally pretty sensitive to that issue, that you don't always know how people will react to getting liquor as a gift. It can be a lot for some people on an emotional level.

Love is action. Not words. Not intent. Not rationalization. My father would come home, drunk out of his mind, probably narrowly missed running over countless people behind the wheel on the way back, and eventually he'd drag me into the kitchen and beat me. Would hammer me to a bloody pulp. I learned to understand that my father never loved me. That wasn't hard, to understand it. I accepted that my father never loved me. That wasn't hard, to accept it. But to actually live with it, that my father chose a bottle and his own demons, to live with that, no one ever gets over that. I carry that every day of my life. It has quietly seeped into every life decision I've ever made as an adult. Most of my value system was built upon not wanting to be like my father. Love is functionally is an obligation. Sometimes it's a choice, in the case of having a spouse and a marriage, and sometimes it's a duty, like having children. But love can only be defined by one's actions.

You know the husband in the story above loves his wife because he's still there. Over 5 decades later, he's still there. Even when she's lost her way through no fault of her own, he's still there. He could leave. He could pick an easier path to escape. He could abandon her. But he simply chose to honor an obligation that he made long ago.

That's what the "influencer" doesn't really get. He chose to pick his toxic pathology, deep inside that empty hole in his heart, over setting a good example in front of his own family. Does he have kids in his household? Just because he has a "husband" and is probably an LGBT doesn't mean he's not possibly raising a child in his household. Is that the kind of example he wants to set for those kids?

My father chose a bottle over his obligation and duty to me. To his own blood. Refused to set the right example, at the cost his honor. At the cost of his dignity.

I chose to raise my godson differently. Not my words. Not my intent. But my actions. How I lived my life was the real lesson that mattered. If I set an example or not was the real "proof of life" on whether I loved him or not.

You don't define love by the price on a menu. You define it with your choices.

There's a practical life lesson here with this thread topic. Not just about this circumstance, but about the overall human condition. But that lesson is wasted on you. You've already decided it's not "relevant". And that's your choice. It's your free will. And like any choice, it becomes the template under which you are ultimately defined as a person.
GG, just getting around to this. It's been busy as of late, so I got to this now, and find myself with little to add to what you said. I would argue that people are better than you think, that a utility calculus is only because of our ingrained survival instinct which causes virtue to wash aside sometimes in the face of real adversity. I wouldn't count myself among the strongest of the lot, for I have witnessed my own weaknesses in life, so it isn't with self-righteousness I speak but rather with an eye toward what I hope is a humility and understanding of the limitations of most people. We are but flawed beings of God, in his image but without omniscience, omnipresence, power over our own dominion.

That said, I am sorry to hear about how your father treated you, though you probably don't want my "sorry" and will chalk it up to a life lesson that was hard-won. I would chalk it up to something different. Your father was evil incarnate to do what he did to his offspring. By all accounts, in almost every modern flourishing culture that has existed, fathers are universally condemned for doing that to their sons. If you are looking for simple, sentimental morality, you can easily find reasons for that. If you are someone, like yourself, who believes in the importance of utility and utile motivations for behavior, then perhaps the reason one can frown upon that is because that kind of treatment blunts the development and stultifies the recipient's personal and societal growth. It debilitates and prevents a full flowering of the self, a self that can serve both itself and the culture within which it is born. Your father did an evil thing -- he treated you evilly.

Even in the Bible, the Lord's treatment of Abraham is shocking ancient civilized cultures and to our Christian ethic. Why would a father kill his son? Do violence to him? The only excuse is that he does it in direct service of the Lord. But the Lord is merciful and gives Abraham a reprieve because nobody, nobody but the Lord should have to or be permitted to cause his own son's death, and only then to save the rest of humanity from eternal hell.

And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus he gave up the ghost. - Luke 23:46

I hope this finds you in good health. Post an update when you are able and feel so inclined. I've thought of you.

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