Vasectomy in the AM... (1 Viewer)

[General Malaise]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

 

[AcerFC]

Someone catching you at the office makes for a sweet thread

 

[=Smackdown=]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

I unloaded at home.

 

[General Malaise]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

How did you handle walking into the doctor's office with a cup full of splooge? Disguise or did you raise it proudly over your head like the Lombardi Trophy?

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

How did you handle walking into the doctor's office with a cup full of splooge? Disguise or did you raise it proudly over your head like the Lombardi Trophy?

I submitted 3 samples. 2nd came back bad. 1st sample I put it in a brown bag and waited in line at the counter, then whispered softly to the receptionist so no one else would hear. The third sample I had the clear plastic cup in hand, strolled in, asked loudly, "Want me to just leave this here?"

 

[Kanil]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

How did you handle walking into the doctor's office with a cup full of splooge? Disguise or did you raise it proudly over your head like the Lombardi Trophy?

We had some trouble getting pregnant the first time so I had to do some testing. I couldn't decide what to do but ended up deciding that I was too manly to hide it. Walked in carrying it like I'd carry my coffee. No one looked or noticed. I was kind of disappointed that I'd even cared about it in the first place.

 

[General Malaise]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

How did you handle walking into the doctor's office with a cup full of splooge? Disguise or did you raise it proudly over your head like the Lombardi Trophy?

I submitted 3 samples. 2nd came back bad. 1st sample I put it in a brown bag and waited in line at the counter, then whispered softly to the receptionist so no one else would hear. The third sample I had the clear plastic cup in hand, strolled in, asked loudly, "Want me to just leave this here?"

 

[=Smackdown=]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

How did you handle walking into the doctor's office with a cup full of splooge? Disguise or did you raise it proudly over your head like the Lombardi Trophy?

The whole thing was odd.

Receptionist knew excactly what I was carrying and had some fun at my expense.

IF I had to do i t again I would wet the outside of the cup before handing it to her.

 

[Arizona Ron]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

I just cranked one out in the bathroom at the doctor's office.

 

[General Malaise]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

Parking lot outside doctor's office in broad daylight.

Had the same questions GM's - nobody helps you with that decision.

How did you handle walking into the doctor's office with a cup full of splooge? Disguise or did you raise it proudly over your head like the Lombardi Trophy?

The whole thing was odd.

Receptionist knew excactly what I was carrying and had some fun at my expense.

IF I had to do i t again I would wet the outside of the cup before handing it to her.

I was thinking about running in there all frantic and sweaty, with my hair like Cameron Diaz's in Something About Mary.

 

[General Malaise]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

I just cranked one out in the bathroom at the doctor's office.

What kind of material did you find in there? People?

 

[=Smackdown=]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

I just cranked one out in the bathroom at the doctor's office.

What kind of material did you find in there? People?

Back in the day all it would take . . .

1 Thought . . .. . 2 fingers . . . . 10 seconds

Now? Not so much

 

[KiddLattimer]

In two days I get to shoot what I hope is blanks into a cup and take it into the doctor's office within 60 minutes to see whether or not I'm fixed.

So...the question now becomes, do I catch a jerk in the morning and race into the doctor's office on my way to work hoping like hell none of my 5 kids nor wife asks me what I'm doing or, do I wait for all my co-workers to go home for the day and pray nobody comes into the office while I'm aiming for a plastic cup? Decisions, decisions.

I just cranked one out in the bathroom at the doctor's office.

What kind of material did you find in there? People?

There's an app for that...

 

[flapgreen]

So far not too bad. They gave me whatever anesthesia you get for a colonoscopy so I don't remember any of it. Whoever used the 45 mins after getting kicked in the nads analogy was right on. Feel the incision a bit too. Hurt like hell when I stood up just now but otherwise I'll survive.

If not I got an oxy script to help out

Yeah I think that was me. On ride home my freaking balls hurt

 

[Ignoramus]

With our baby due later this year and my sweet insurance plan going away next year ($20 copay is my only out of pocket), I'm strongly considering putting this on the calendar.

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

every now and then my wife gets baby fever and wishes we could have a fourth child. My response is generally along the lines of, "Are you ####### insane?"

 

[General Malaise]

every now and then my wife gets baby fever and wishes we could have a fourth child. My response is generally along the lines of, "Are you ####### insane?"

Come on, what's the worst that could happen?

Oh, right...twins. FML.

 

[Ignoramus]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

 

[General Malaise]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

I had a consultation where the doctor drew a picture of a peenis for me that looked like something St. Louis Bob would draw left handed. Then he went John Madden on it with circles, play action and some diagrams of what was going to happen. Then the nurse came in and had me sign all sorts of things and handed me some information about what to do prior to the snip job that was scheduled for weeks later.

Because our insurance reset on Oct. 1 and because we had tons of medical bills this year, I figured I should schedule the V to happen before Oct. 1 since it would be covered in full. They obliged me. So it was more like 5 days from consultation to cut day. Your mileage may vary.

Snip job itself was maybe 20-30 minutes tops. Took me longer to shave my junk in full than it took the doctor to neuter me. Don't skimp on the numbing cream and for god's sake, take the pain pills prior to walking in. Wash them down with a beer or three.

 

[AcerFC]

I'm getting sedated. It is not one penny out of pocket and worth it for me.

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

I'm getting sedated. It is not one penny out of pocket and worth it for me.

It really isn't bad being awake. Might get an interesting story out of it.

 

[KiddLattimer]

I'm getting sedated. It is not one penny out of pocket and worth it for me.

Talk to your doc about your options... my Dr called it "local" anesthesia and I assumed it was a shot in the nads with the rest of me awake, but I was out and don't remember anything from when they wheeled me in til I was in recovery room. Nothing like what some people on here described, thank god... I would probably freak out.

Apparently there was another way to put me under too (guessing the kind they use for open heart surgery and the like?) but this was more than enough.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

GM pretty much nailed it.

Except he left out the part where you ejaculate blood for 3-4 months after.

 

[General Malaise]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

GM pretty much nailed it.

Except he left out the part where you ejaculate blood for 3-4 months after.

They give you leeches for that now.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

I had a consultation where the doctor drew a picture of a peenis for me that looked like something St. Louis Bob would draw left handed. Then he went John Madden on it with circles, play action and some diagrams of what was going to happen. Then the nurse came in and had me sign all sorts of things and handed me some information about what to do prior to the snip job that was scheduled for weeks later.

Because our insurance reset on Oct. 1 and because we had tons of medical bills this year, I figured I should schedule the V to happen before Oct. 1 since it would be covered in full. They obliged me. So it was more like 5 days from consultation to cut day. Your mileage may vary.

Snip job itself was maybe 20-30 minutes tops. Took me longer to shave my junk in full than it took the doctor to neuter me. Don't skimp on the numbing cream and for god's sake, take the pain pills prior to walking in. Wash them down with a beer or three.

I know I told the story about dropping of a sample at the IVF place before Cal was born. I always made my wife do it but she couldn't that time for some reason. Receptionist, I don't even think she was a nurse, take out my Cup O' SLB juice out and is waving it around letting everybody in the waiting room see it and exclaiming loudly how I forgot to put my name on my sperm sample. I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

Of course now that I have children, NOTHING embarrasses me. I could crank one out in the waiting room.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

I had a consultation where the doctor drew a picture of a peenis for me that looked like something St. Louis Bob would draw left handed. Then he went John Madden on it with circles, play action and some diagrams of what was going to happen. Then the nurse came in and had me sign all sorts of things and handed me some information about what to do prior to the snip job that was scheduled for weeks later.

Because our insurance reset on Oct. 1 and because we had tons of medical bills this year, I figured I should schedule the V to happen before Oct. 1 since it would be covered in full. They obliged me. So it was more like 5 days from consultation to cut day. Your mileage may vary.

Snip job itself was maybe 20-30 minutes tops. Took me longer to shave my junk in full than it took the doctor to neuter me. Don't skimp on the numbing cream and for god's sake, take the pain pills prior to walking in. Wash them down with a beer or three.

I know I told the story about dropping of a sample at the IVF place before Cal was born. I always made my wife do it but she couldn't that time for some reason. Receptionist, I don't even think she was a nurse, take out my Cup O' SLB juice out and is waving it around letting everybody in the waiting room see it and exclaiming loudly how I forgot to put my name on my sperm sample. I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

Of course now that I have children, NOTHING embarrasses me. I could crank one out in the waiting room.

Sure beats reading a Highlights magazine from 2007.

 

[flapgreen]

So how long does the entire process typically take? I mean from the initial visit to snippy time?

I had a consultation where the doctor drew a picture of a peenis for me that looked like something St. Louis Bob would draw left handed. Then he went John Madden on it with circles, play action and some diagrams of what was going to happen. Then the nurse came in and had me sign all sorts of things and handed me some information about what to do prior to the snip job that was scheduled for weeks later.

Because our insurance reset on Oct. 1 and because we had tons of medical bills this year, I figured I should schedule the V to happen before Oct. 1 since it would be covered in full. They obliged me. So it was more like 5 days from consultation to cut day. Your mileage may vary.

Snip job itself was maybe 20-30 minutes tops. Took me longer to shave my junk in full than it took the doctor to neuter me. Don't skimp on the numbing cream and for god's sake, take the pain pills prior to walking in. Wash them down with a beer or three.

Pain pills BEFORE the procedure?!? I had the worst freaking doctor ever!

 

[Ignoramus]

While they're down there chopping off your nards, can they upgrade your donger, too?

 

[flapgreen]

I asked for a reduction but there's nothing he could do

 

[offdee]

I asked for a reduction but there's nothing he could do

You can't go inwards.

 

[KiddLattimer]

If you're planning on doing this be sure to plan ahead to give yourself something to do. I'm not much of a gamer and I had it Monday so theres nothing but crap on TV... bored out of my mind.

 

[KiddLattimer]

How long did you guys go before test firing the gun again?

 

[General Malaise]

How long did you guys go before test firing the gun again?

Can't remember, but don't panic when you shoot nothing but air.

 

[General Malaise]

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.

 

[flapgreen]

####

 

[dickey moe]

I've become convinced the vas deferens was never really meant to have pieces cut out from it.

 

[AAABatteries]

How long did you guys go before test firing the gun again?

Can't remember, but don't panic when you shoot nothing but air.

I distinctly remembering that firing the gun felt different for a period of time. Not bad, not good, not painful, just different. It eventually went away.

 

[the moops]

Dec 11th here

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.

Don't worry. By the time this is over you would stroll in there, sit down to wait and put your clear cup on the seat next to you, grab a waiting room magazine and him a tune to yourself. My preference would be something from AC/DC. When old Betty asks how long ago, you'll stand up, toss the cup to her and without breaking stride say, "Still warm, Betty. Still warm." As you start to open the door, you glance back at Bety and add, "Had pineapple last night, Bets. Enjoy."

 

[ghostguy123]

I probably could find this somewhere in the 13 pages or with a simple phone call, but does insurance cover this in some capacity?

I work for a hospital and have good insurance, maybe that helps the cause, I don't know.

 

[AcerFC]

I probably could find this somewhere in the 13 pages or with a simple phone call, but does insurance cover this in some capacity?

I work for a hospital and have good insurance, maybe that helps the cause, I don't know.

I pay a $20 copay and the rest is covered, including sedation. I don't need to be up for the play by play

 

[ghostguy123]

I probably could find this somewhere in the 13 pages or with a simple phone call, but does insurance cover this in some capacity?

I work for a hospital and have good insurance, maybe that helps the cause, I don't know.

I pay a $20 copay and the rest is covered, including sedation. I don't need to be up for the play by play

Jumpin Jesus why have I not scheduled this yet?????

What do I do, just call the ball snippin hotline and set a date?

 

[AcerFC]

I probably could find this somewhere in the 13 pages or with a simple phone call, but does insurance cover this in some capacity?

I work for a hospital and have good insurance, maybe that helps the cause, I don't know.

I pay a $20 copay and the rest is covered, including sedation. I don't need to be up for the play by play

Jumpin Jesus why have I not scheduled this yet?????

What do I do, just call the ball snippin hotline and set a date?

actually, I may have to pay an additional 20 for the sedation

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

I probably could find this somewhere in the 13 pages or with a simple phone call, but does insurance cover this in some capacity?

I work for a hospital and have good insurance, maybe that helps the cause, I don't know.

I pay a $20 copay and the rest is covered, including sedation. I don't need to be up for the play by play

Jumpin Jesus why have I not scheduled this yet?????

What do I do, just call the ball snippin hotline and set a date?

actually, I may have to pay an additional 20 for the sedation

Don't do it. Be a man. Use that $20 for beer afterwards.

 

[East Coast Bias]

Had this done today. Pain free. Forgot there was going to be smoke.

 

[comfortably numb]

:spermdot:

 

[flapgreen]

Had this done today. Pain free. Forgot there was going to be smoke.

I must've had the worst doc ever.

 

[comfortably numb]

Had this done today. Pain free. Forgot there was going to be smoke.

I must've had the worst doc ever.

Was yours done in a motel room?

 

[comfortably numb]

So...do you see your regular doc or like a penis doctor?

I don't need referrals with my plan.