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Vasectomy in the AM... (1 Viewer)

Ignoramus said:
Just got done. Doc gave me Tramadol (Ultron) for pain. Was looking forward to having a few brews and popping one but reading online it looks I'll die if I mix them with booze. Talk about a kick in the nuts.
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Good luck... it's not as bad as you probably assumed, just take it easy and dont push it (even if you think you're ok) or you'll pay for it.

 
General Malaise said:
dickey moe said:
General Malaise said:
My buddy came over last night with a wrapped Xmas gift. Opened it up. TA DA! Going to try this out later. Really not interested in dropping off another sample.
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That's genius.
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Soooooooo......this was an interesting exercise. I wasn't sure where to do it because as I've mentioned a time or two, my house is FULL of kids and activity and there's hardly any time to crap in peace let alone jerk it to a science experiment. As I soon learned upon opening this box, there's more to it than simply splooging on litmus tab. I've assembled complex pieces of IKEA furniture with less instructions than this sperm test. Thus, I decided to do it at the office, which meant waiting for everybody to go home, waiting just a while longer to make sure nobody forgot their phone, locking up the doors, making sure our warehouse tenants were gone for the day and praying like hell that the FedEx guy didn't need to drop off a last minute package. You ever try jerking it when you're paranoid? It's like trying to enjoy a cold shower.

Anyhow, I've got the contents laid out in front of me on my desk, the lights are off and after settling on a nice "film", empty my contents into a plastic dish that looks like every jello-shot container I've ever seen. Coincidentally, I am never taking a jello-shot again. Upon release, you are to wait EXACTLY 20 minutes, not more not less. Folks, if you're anything like me, I treat jism like a guy robbing a bank - once the deed is done, I am quickly moving on and leaving the scene of the crime. I couldn't just sit there with it staring at me, so I threw a manila folder over it.

At 20 minutes, you are to stir the sample around with an injector they give you in attempt to separate the clear fluid from the sticky gunk. Then, they ask you to pull the plunger to load up the injector and then carefully shoot it into a bottle of solution, whereupon you are to close the lid, carefully and delicately mix the solution like the world's most fragile cocktail and then after 2 minutes, drop FIVE little drops into the testing strip. Wait 7 minutes and come back to check. One line good, two lines bad.

ONE LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :pickle: :pickle: :pickle: :pickle: :pickle: :pickle:

So I took a picture, raced home, showed my wife and said "let's hump". She laughed and said, "yeah, I think it's good that your buddy got you a sperm checker from Amazon, but I'd really prefer to hear it from your doctor before letting you anywhere near me". :mellow:
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Eff that...too damn complicated.
 
Ignoramus said:
Just got done. Doc gave me Tramadol (Ultron) for pain. Was looking forward to having a few brews and popping one but reading online it looks I'll die if I mix them with booze. Talk about a kick in the nuts.
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i used to party with those quite a bit...got any left?

 
Don't really wanna re-read the whole thread, but is the consensus that tighty whitieys are sufficient for day of surgery or better off with an actual athletic supporter? I'm going in Friday morning and need to get ready.

 
jestertj said:
Don't really wanna re-read the whole thread, but is the consensus that tighty whitieys are sufficient for day of surgery or better off with an actual athletic supporter? I'm going in Friday morning and need to get ready.
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Go with the jock. Solid $6 investment for your traumatized balls. 

 
jestertj said:
Don't really wanna re-read the whole thread, but is the consensus that tighty whitieys are sufficient for day of surgery or better off with an actual athletic supporter? I'm going in Friday morning and need to get ready.
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I used Under Armor boxer jocks and they worked ok but I probably should have just gone with the strap.  Keeping them snug probably would have helped heal quicker.

 
jestertj said:
Don't really wanna re-read the whole thread, but is the consensus that tighty whitieys are sufficient for day of surgery or better off with an actual athletic supporter? I'm going in Friday morning and need to get ready.
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Do you own any compression shorts?  That's what I would go with - you'll want the export support and lack of movement.

 
Ah, March Madness.  I think half of all of these procedures are done during the tourney.  Best of luck to you all.

 
Got the initial appt set..... sounds like i need to run through this thread a little.  Unless someone who has kept up on it can summarize?

Ave time out of work (or off your feet)?

I see compression shorts or a jock will help sooth the pain?

Will need to drop off samples as the Dr instructs to make sure your good to go?

Seems a lot of relieving yourself (if the wife wont help) to clean out the pipes?

Other news and notes?

 
B Maverick said:
Got the initial appt set..... sounds like i need to run through this thread a little.  Unless someone who has kept up on it can summarize?

Ave time out of work (or off your feet)?

I see compression shorts or a jock will help sooth the pain?

Will need to drop off samples as the Dr instructs to make sure your good to go?

Seems a lot of relieving yourself (if the wife wont help) to clean out the pipes?

Other news and notes?
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I had mine done on a Friday afternoon. I was back to work on Monday (white collar office job).  If your job calls for you to be on your feet a lot I would take Monday off. Don't rush back into working out or strenuous exercise to soon even if you are pain free. 

Compression shorts or a jock to keep the boys from moving around.  the first day or 2 a bag of frozen peas is helpful.  My Dr prescribed some T3's to take afterwards to help with pain and by Saturday evening I didn't need them anymore. 

Yes, you will need to drop off samples at the Dr to make sure that you don't have any live swimmers left. Use birth control until you get the all clear from the Dr.  Even if you clean out the pipes the recommended number of times do not tempt fate until you submit a sample and get the all clear. 
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get a prescription for pain meds. at the very least, it gives the wife an impression that this is really, really painful. but mostly, it is just good to lounge around all weekend doped up on meds while having someone fetch you beers

 
B Maverick said:
Got the initial appt set..... sounds like i need to run through this thread a little.  Unless someone who has kept up on it can summarize?

Ave time out of work (or off your feet)?

I see compression shorts or a jock will help sooth the pain?

Will need to drop off samples as the Dr instructs to make sure your good to go?

Seems a lot of relieving yourself (if the wife wont help) to clean out the pipes?

Other news and notes?
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I never went back to doc to ensure I'm good to go.  6 months later and still not pregnancies so I think I'm just going to skip that step, who has the time.

 
I just received my second all-clear sample results yesterday. They recommend doing another sample in a year. 

Boxer briefs were fine for me. The whole thing was really no big deal. Not even any pain.

Like anything, experience counts. If you can, choose a Dr. who performs a lot of procedures.

I filled the hydrocodone prescription even though I never took one. I'll save it for a rainy day when I or a friend have an injury while off in the boonies in Canada fishing. 

 
johnnyrock62000 said:
I just received my second all-clear sample results yesterday. They recommend doing another sample in a year. 

Boxer briefs were fine for me. The whole thing was really no big deal. Not even any pain.

Like anything, experience counts. If you can, choose a Dr. who performs a lot of procedures.

I filled the hydrocodone prescription even though I never took one. I'll save it for a rainy day when I or a friend have an injury while off in the boonies in Canada fishing. 
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I  :heart: hydrocodone... :wub:

 
I just dropped off my 4 month sample. My 3 month still had swimmers. Hoping they are gone. If not, I must have super strong sperm

 
AcerFC said:
I just dropped off my 4 month sample. My 3 month still had swimmers. Hoping they are gone. If not, I must have super strong sperm
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Mine was based on 12+ ejections each time. First one came back positive. They require two negatives before declaring you good to go. 

The guys who are winging it are crazy imo. Hope is not a strategy. 

Good luck everyone. 

 
Mine hurt but was not debilitating... just kind of an ache for several days. Granted, due to an undersized beanbag I was not a candidate for the scalpelless process, so your results may differ.  Frozen peas, jock straps, pain pills and booze were my four amigos for several days .

 
the moops said:
get a prescription for pain meds. at the very least, it gives the wife an impression that this is really, really painful. but mostly, it is just good to lounge around all weekend doped up on meds while having someone fetch you beers
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Still annoyed they wouldn't hook me up with some pain meds. Its like they knew you don't really need them.

Also I was one of those guys who just rolled the dice afterwards and never went to get double checked.....

 
I'm not understanding the mindset of going out of your way to having this procedure done for ultimate peace of mind, and then not taking the time to have it confirmed all is clear so you can still always wonder "what if" ?  

 
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Can't believe how not painful the procedure was. The worst part was having my actual member taped to my stomach (pointing at my head). At one point I thought "I think he made the incision already but I'm not sure" which was followed quickly by "oh wait that burning smell means he's already cut the first one". Now just the wait until the weekend to get back in the game.

 
jestertj said:
Can't believe how not painful the procedure was. The worst part was having my actual member taped to my stomach (pointing at my head). At one point I thought "I think he made the incision already but I'm not sure" which was followed quickly by "oh wait that burning smell means he's already cut the first one". Now just the wait until the weekend to get back in the game.
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Was going to ask if they put you under or just numb the area... guess this answers it

 
B Maverick said:
Was going to ask if they put you under or just numb the area... guess this answers it
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I went in expecting to feel numb like the dentist and that's not the case at all. I could feel when he would move my nut or sack, but there was no pain. it's just weird but so easy.

 
ok, so got mine done Friday late morning.  Was there for 30 mins or so and was back home on the couch.  Weirdest thing ever, but easy mostly painless (didnt numb the left side enough and felt some pain.  He numbed more and no problem).  Not a lot of swelling, no real pain after just feeling like the aftermath of a kick in the balls.  You know the feeling, your junk up in your stomach after the initial pain of getting kicked wears off.  Nothing a little tylenol couldnt handle. Follow up in a couple weeks then on to clearing out the tubes and hopefully a couple all clears (12 and 14 weeks) after that.  

 
Do any of you guys ever feel discomfort maybe even a little pain while doing the deed (either by yourself or with someone)

My incision marks itch sometimes also. Does anyone else have that

 
AcerFC said:
Do any of you guys ever feel discomfort maybe even a little pain while doing the deed (either by yourself or with someone)

My incision marks itch sometimes also. Does anyone else have that
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I am a few year out at this point. No itchiness, but the first few months I had some mild discomfort occasionally during sex. Hasn't happened in a while.  

 
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