(HULK) said:
This thread is an appropriate place for you 40+ year olds to share your back in the day war stories
I wish an old Super 8 video I have stashed away somewhere was digital. The weekend started on Friday with Jager shots around noon, drank all day, got a hold of 2 8-balls that evening. Friends did a couple of rails and then just gave me the rest, which turned into a 72 hour bender, the likes of which would have made the guys from The Hangover jealous. Highlights included :
Chugging half a 750ml of Jager that the strippers in our room grabbed and started pouring shots of without permission. I was so offended that they didn't ask, that I chugged roughly 12 oz of Jager in 10 seconds just so they couldn't have any more. They called me an a**hole. The greatest, however, was about 4 years later after I'd moved to Florida and was sitting on the patio at Pat O' Brien's drinking hurricanes when I was approached by some dude I didn't recognize. He says : "I know you !! You're the guy that chugged the Jager in the strippers' faces at that bachelor party at Mandalay Bay !" Dude was from upstate NY visiting Universal Studios with his family, he was a friend of a friend - I'd never met him before or since Vegas.
Telling an angry Puerto Rican girl at Olympic Gardens after she pointed out her gangster boyfriend to us that he had asked us on the way in how much handjobs cost. Was totally kidding, but she freaked out and attacked him and we had to literally run out before she told him why and he executed us.
Standing in the coffee shop at Luxor yelling about the price of French toast. This is all on the videotape. I was literally yelling things like : "So toast is $2, but you take the same bread and dip it in egg and toast it and now it's $9 ?! Since when are eggs made out of gold ?! This is how they get you, forget gambling, it's the GD FRENCH TOAST !!!!" The entire time I'm yelling this, I'm simultaneously burning a hole in my shirt with a cigarette I didn't even know I was holding. Needless to say, I remember none of this. I was asked to leave Luxor.
Having sex with a girl I knew from business trips to San Francisco that I randomly ran into at the center bar at Mandalay in their public bathroom right off the sports book. Got busted and was asked to leave Mandalay Bay.
Going to see Godsmack at the Vault when Dime and Vinnie from Pantera popped up onstage and the whole crew broke into a version of Pantera's "Walk." I decided to stage dive, only I was nowhere near the stage, so I climbed up on the back bar and dove off onto a guy and his girlfriend who had their backs turned to me and had no idea I was doing it until I landed on them and sent all 3 of us down a small set of stairs, face-first. Thrown out of the Vault. This was after drinking a yard of gin & tonic from Slots-A-Fun (it was roughly 50% gin) then buying a handle of Old Crow and a 2-liter of Coke and mixing another yard-long drink right in front of the liquor store behind Bally's. Some old guy told us we could get arrested for doing it (we had a crowd of about 15-20 people standing around us watching us make these drinks) and me telling him to go F himself and then kicking him in the ### as he left. We then two-fisted the yards of Old Crow and Coke and oil cans of Foster's all afternoon.
Not long after this, my brother tried to grab a straw from a souvenir yard glass that was inside a closed booth selling them at the entrance to Excalibur and proceeded to knock literally about 500 plastic yard glasses over in a domino effect, sending them all over the inside of the booth, bouncing around the tile/laminate floor beneath. The ensuing din attracted attention all over the casino. We were asked to leave Excalibur.
Those are just some of the high(low)lights from that trip. A separate trip ended with me thwarting a robbery and bizarre interactions/confrontations with Sharknado star Ian Ziering and the legendary Arsenio Hall, but those are stories for another thread.
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Knocked back a 16 hour bourbon and 
fuled bender in tunica last weekend to tune up for this trip.
