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Weird People in your office/work bathroom and Office nicknames! (3 Viewers)

Fat Nick said:
We've got a few...some are no longer with the company as we had a big restructuring a few years ago...It's tough because we're a little smaller, so a lot of folks actually know people's real names.

"The Scavenger"  - This one guy had a knack for showing up the instant food was put out, and he had no shame in taking whatever was out.  He once cut a slice out of a cake we brought in for our CFO's birthday BEFORE we had a chance to even sing and show him the cake.  He just walked by and snagged a slice, and walked away.  We were speechless.

"Coldplay" - This one lady's ringtone is Viva La Vida.  She shamelessly leaves her ringer turned ALL THE WAY UP, and her husband I think has some health issues and calls her constantly.  I used to sit next to her and wanted to kill her.

"[John Doe], MD" - One guy used to be an MD and was an ER resident before he got his MBA and switched careers to finance at our company.  No clue to this day why he left medicine, but he brings up the fact that he used to be an MD constantly.  We always add an MD to his name when talking about him.

"Hot Auditor," - Self-explanatory.  They're all trolls except one.
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Were any of these the "runner" from the video once posted?

 
Gottabesweet said:
Anyone have any random nicknames that multiple people in the office use for anyone?

We have a few:  Probably only funny to us but whatever I'm bored.

"Luggage Arms"  5'2 dude always in a sport coat, not muscular, walks around like he's carrying 100 pound bags of groceries on each arm.  Always in an empty room with the lights off talking on his phone.  He's pretty high up.

"Aladdin" - Guy of ethnic decent that wears pointy shoes and is always watching anime.

"Rachel Ray" - Lady goes out multiple days of the week to the grocery store, then spends 45 minutes in the lunch room with a chopping block cutting up everything (It can be argued it's more productive than posting here)

"The Wiper" - Outlined in this thread, 45 seconds of straight sand-paper noise you'll hear wiping feverishly.

"Harry Potter" - Just a dude that looks like Harry Potter

"Peter Griffin" - Just a dude who looks like Peter - brings his coffee mug with no lid into the bathroom all the time

"Snooki" Just a lady who looks like Snooki.  Most annoying laugh ever.

"Hot Sauce - Air Walks"  Guy in his 50's rocking Air-Walks and cargo pants, He's your typical guy in the kitchen that is making the weirdest stuff, microwaving fish, throwing globs of Hot sauce on everything.  Always smells like syrup

"Tim Burton" - Just a lady who looks like Tim Burton should have put her in a "Nightmare Before Christmas"

"Big Gulp" -  Guy will go out to 7-11 or BK and bring back TWO 64 ounce things of pop.  Once was heard on the phone talking about how he's pre-diabetes.  He drank water for a week.  Didn't last.  He has a bin full of empty two liters of Pepsi.  Takes them home once a month.  Easily $5 worth.
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:lmao:  

 
I  heard some loser once took a bottle of yellow mustard into the stall at his workplace and took a picture of himself pouring it into this mouth, just so he could post a picture on a message board in an attempt to impress a bunch of strangers.

 
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shuke said:
:lmao:  
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Forgot to add Skeletor.

"The Skeletor"  This skinny looking Al Davis wannabe, Is the guy in the office who only talks to women, flirts, won't carry on a conversation with a man.  Walks extremely fast with his head down rounding every corner. Complains about the coffee in the break room being terrible every day, yet is in there 7 times a day getting a refill.  I'll purposely try to engage him, say hello and talk about the weather because it makes him uncomfortable.

 
Gottabesweet said:
Anyone have any random nicknames that multiple people in the office use for anyone?

We have a few:  Probably only funny to us but whatever I'm bored.

"Luggage Arms"  5'2 dude always in a sport coat, not muscular, walks around like he's carrying 100 pound bags of groceries on each arm.  Always in an empty room with the lights off talking on his phone.  He's pretty high up.

"Aladdin" - Guy of middle east decent that wears pointy shoes and is always watching anime. Thinks he's better than everyone wearing his capri's and skinny jeans on dress down.

"Rachel Ray" - Lady goes out multiple days of the week to the grocery store, then spends 45 minutes in the lunch room with a chopping block cutting up everything (It can be argued it's more productive than posting here)

"The Wiper" - Outlined in this thread, 45 seconds of straight sand-paper noise you'll hear wiping feverishly.

"Harry Potter" - Just a dude that looks like Harry Potter

"Peter Griffin" - Just a dude who looks like Peter - brings his coffee mug with no lid into the bathroom all the time

"Snooki" Just a lady who looks like Snooki.  Most annoying laugh ever.

"Hot Sauce - Air Walks"  Guy in his 50's rocking Air-Walks and cargo pants, He's your typical guy in the kitchen that is making the weirdest stuff, microwaving fish, throwing globs of Hot sauce on everything.  Always smells like syrup

"Tim Burton" - Just a lady who looks like Tim Burton should have put her in a "Nightmare Before Christmas"

"Big Gulp" -  Guy will go out to 7-11 or BK and bring back TWO 64 ounce things of pop.  Once was heard on the phone talking about how he's pre-diabetes.  He drank water for a week.  Didn't last.  He has a bin full of empty two liters of Pepsi.  Takes them home once a month.  Easily $5 worth.

"The Skeletor"  This skinny looking Al Davis wannabe, Is the guy in the office who only talks to women, flirts, won't carry on a conversation with a man.  Walks extremely fast with his dead down rounding every corner. Complains about the coffee in the break room being terrible every day, yet is in there 7 times a day getting a refill.

"Danny DeVito"  - We have an Italian women in the office with a mustache and hairy armpits who waddles around.  She looks like Danny DeVito in it's always Sunny when he dresses up in drag.  Many agree within the office. 

"Cruela De vil" - Very tall skinny, red hair higher up, wears like track suits on dress down days, Lime green suits M-W.  Pretty sure she's stolen all the puppies.

"Oswald Cobblepot" - Looks like the penguin on the show Gotham on fox.   This guy sits in the stall honks his nose over and over.  He once passed out in the handi-cap stall. Refuses to use it now as if he has PTSD.  Someone found his facebook where he posts status' regarding all his issues with life and how sad his love life is. Carry's around a R2D2 children's lunchbox and takes off every 3.14 for Pie Day.  The day prior brings in Pie's and sends and email to the entire office outlining why it's his favorite day of the year because nobody else cares about it.  One of the weirdest guys we currently have.

"Tyler Breeze" - Looked like the wrestler Tyler Breeze.  Started in the office as a male, everyone assumed he was gay or bi, transitioned to the name Peach, started using the women's bathroom.  Many went to HR but it was allowed, fired for some work related reason and now in some lawsuit.  Sprayed globs of perfume all around itself and carried around a purse anywhere it went.

"Orangutan #itties" - Just a lady who looks like a monkey with breasts sagging to the floor as she walks.  Always complaining about her back. Hello!  Sad sad, sad, sad puppies. When she stands up they just drop 3 feet lower.

"Steve the Pirate"  - Looks like the pirate from the movie Dodgeball AFTER he got his hair cut.  This guy is always in the bathroom with hair gel. Stares at himself in the mirror for a good 45 seconds every time after he pisses.  Just staring.
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Updated a few more as some of these I don't see on a daily basis. 

 
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Beef Ravioli said:
Were any of these the "runner" from the video once posted?
Click to expand...
No, unfortunately.  We just called him "JM," which was his initials.  We called 3 out of 5 people in that group by their initials.  Don't even know why.  JM, DR, KS.

We would occasionally call JM "Salty Dog" because of his love of salt.  We'd call him that to his face, so it wasn't really that kind of nickname.  He left the company back in April/May, and we actually got him a Salty Dog Cafe t-shirt from Hiton Head as a going away present.

 
Sullie said:
2.) Guy #2 - he has some sort of issues going on, like a lot of issues.  But one of the more odd and annoying issues he has (and this is like a 50+ year old man) is that he will stand in the stall and RUN/ FULL SPRINT out of the restroom but only AFTER you have gone into the stall.  So he does his thing, buttons up and like a cat, waits for opportunity to exit like the bathroom is on fire.  Key points here, he does NOT wash his hands and yes he SPRINTS out of the bathroom and yes you will get knocked over if you are in his way.  There's A LOT of weird things this guy does, this is just one example.
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:lmao:   :lmao:  

I don't think this got enough attention previously. 

I'm really going to need more examples of this guy.

 
Fat Nick said:
No, unfortunately.  We just called him "JM," which was his initials.  We called 3 out of 5 people in that group by their initials.  Don't even know why.  JM, DR, KS.

We would occasionally call JM "Salty Dog" because of his love of salt.  We'd call him that to his face, so it wasn't really that kind of nickname.  He left the company back in April/May, and we actually got him a Salty Dog Cafe t-shirt from Hiton Head as a going away present.
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gotta say- I miss JM.

 
Hot Sauce Air Walks today telling the same story about how he made goulash but put too much salt in it. He then proceeded to tell everyone he got out the jergens and tissues and had a lovely night watching 1970's Batman.  (Added that part)   Whole office smells like hot sauce. 

 
TheFanatic said:
Same here. I used to feel a sense of embarrassment and would hold it in till the john was empty. I look back and think, while I got a lot better at games on my blackberry back then, it really was a gigantic waste of time. Everyone goes in there for the same reason. Why pretend something else is going on.  Just drop the toilet snake and get on with it. 
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OK, I will say this about being in the can at work, I will not talk on the phone while in the stall. That seems very odd to me. But this guy today had no problem with it. I just get settled in, and this guy slides into the next stall talking about flu shots with his wife. In case she didn't figure out there he was in the can due to how he was all echo-ie as opposed to in the hall, I blast one out that a Elephant who just ate a bushel of onions would be proud of. There's a pause in the conversation followed by, "Uh, yeah, actually I am. Sorry about that. I'll talk to you later." I think she had already hung up before she got to hear the courtesy flush I gave the guy. 

 
El Floppo said:
Sullie said:
2.) Guy #2 - he has some sort of issues going on, like a lot of issues.  But one of the more odd and annoying issues he has (and this is like a 50+ year old man) is that he will stand in the stall and RUN/ FULL SPRINT out of the restroom but only AFTER you have gone into the stall.  So he does his thing, buttons up and like a cat, waits for opportunity to exit like the bathroom is on fire.  Key points here, he does NOT wash his hands and yes he SPRINTS out of the bathroom and yes you will get knocked over if you are in his way.  There's A LOT of weird things this guy does, this is just one example.
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:lmao:   :lmao:  

I don't think this got enough attention previously. 

I'm really going to need more examples of this guy.
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:popcorn:  

 
New place: nobody as weird as the old place.  A few non hand washers. 

My go to move is always press the handicap door open button with paper towel and toss it out on your way out.  The non hand washers should try it. 

 
Gottabesweet said:
New place: nobody as weird as the old place.  A few non hand washers. 

My go to move is always press the handicap door open button with paper towel and toss it out on your way out.  The non hand washers should try it. 
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Wouldn't this post have bumped the thread? Kind of confused with the "bump" post two minutes prior.

 
At a job a couple years ago there was someone on my floor that... I'm surmising... had one of those "bags".  I'd be in the stall taking a dump and he'd come into the adjacent stall and it would sound like a waterfall of... whatever... it was disgusting.

No nickname, just thought I'd share.  

 
We had a mystery where I worked, someone was taking a dump in the urinals.  This went on for a while, they finally caught the person, he was a 30 year employee, ended up finding out he had issues with the custodians.  His name is Mike,  but after we found out what he was doing, for the next 7 or 8 years he was given and even answered to the nickname “The Urinal Bomber”.

 
Kevrunner said:
We had a mystery where I worked, someone was taking a dump in the urinals.  This went on for a while, they finally caught the person, he was a 30 year employee, ended up finding out he had issues with the custodians.  His name is Mike,  but after we found out what he was doing, for the next 7 or 8 years he was given and even answered to the nickname “The Urinal Bomber”.
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whadaya got to do to get fired around this place?

 
Binky The Doormat said:
whadaya got to do to get fired around this place?
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It was at a large postal facility, pretty hard to get fired, you pretty much have to physically assault someone to lose your job.  The unions are pretty good at saving jobs, they really don’t have too much power anymore in the postal crafts other than that.

 
Kevrunner said:
It was at a large postal facility, pretty hard to get fired, you pretty much have to physically assault someone to lose your job.  The unions are pretty good at saving jobs, they really don’t have too much power anymore in the postal crafts other than that.
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and we wonder why unions lost their foothold in this country ...

 
Kevrunner said:
We had a mystery where I worked, someone was taking a dump in the urinals.  This went on for a while, they finally caught the person, he was a 30 year employee, ended up finding out he had issues with the custodians.  His name is Mike,  but after we found out what he was doing, for the next 7 or 8 years he was given and even answered to the nickname “The Urinal Bomber”.
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😂

 
[icon] said:
Update? 
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At a new place.  Multiple bathrooms on each floor.  Everyone here seems normal in and out.  Only problem I have is my closest bathroom has one handicap stall and one regular and only 1 urinal. So the stalls always have piss on them. 

My fear of using the stall while a wheel chair person rolls in did happen.  I had to wait him out till he decided to leave and come back. He works on the other side of hall so his bathroom must have been full. 

 
Gottabesweet said:
At a new place.  Multiple bathrooms on each floor.  Everyone here seems normal in and out.  Only problem I have is my closest bathroom has one handicap stall and one regular and only 1 urinal. So the stalls always have piss on them. 

My fear of using the stall while a wheel chair person rolls in did happen.  I had to wait him out till he decided to leave and come back. He works on the other side of hall so his bathroom must have been full. 
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Love this episode of the IT Crowd  :thumbup:

 
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MarvinTScamper said:
Guy #1 - grabs a tissue to hold his wang whenever he pees.

Guy #2 - hippo sprays the back of the toilet.  This guy is unknown, but he trainwrecks the back stall every time he takes a dump.

Guy #3 - whether he took a crap or a piss, never EVER washed his hands.  We called him "booger" and before his company left the floor, by the end we were yelling at him to wash his hands.  Also, appeared to wear the exact same pair of pants every day I ever saw him.
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I often wonder how feces ends up on the under side of the toilet seat and on top of the bowl.

Is feces able to defy the law of gravity? How does it end up higher than your tuckas?

...  maybe a hemorrhoid, that swings around like an elephants trunk, spraying all different directions? ... but that seems like a stretch.

 
Gottabesweet said:
At a new place.  Multiple bathrooms on each floor.  Everyone here seems normal in and out.  Only problem I have is my closest bathroom has one handicap stall and one regular and only 1 urinal. So the stalls always have piss on them. 

My fear of using the stall while a wheel chair person rolls in did happen.  I had to wait him out till he decided to leave and come back. He works on the other side of hall so his bathroom must have been full. 
Click to expand...
We have 2 regular stalls and a handicap stall.  There's a guy across the floor in a wheelchair.  He has no arms beyond his elbows and only one leg.  The other leg is only to his knee.  He pulls himself around the building with his one leg.  When he uses the bathroom, he has his own roll of toilet paper (obviously it's hard for him to use the roll on the stall wall) and he lays a bath towel on the floor and slides himself from his chair to the commode like a snail.

One day, after lunch, I had to go and the handicap stall was the only one open so I took it.  Yep.  When I opened the door, there he was in his chair, staring straight at me.  Ugh.  I felt like such a creep.

 
Deepster said:
We have 2 regular stalls and a handicap stall.  There's a guy across the floor in a wheelchair.  He has no arms beyond his elbows and only one leg.  The other leg is only to his knee.  He pulls himself around the building with his one leg.  When he uses the bathroom, he has his own roll of toilet paper (obviously it's hard for him to use the roll on the stall wall) and he lays a bath towel on the floor and slides himself from his chair to the commode like a snail.

One day, after lunch, I had to go and the handicap stall was the only one open so I took it.  Yep.  When I opened the door, there he was in his chair, staring straight at me.  Ugh.  I felt like such a creep.
Click to expand...
Yikes. I waited it out to avoid that!  

 
Kevrunner said:
We had a mystery where I worked, someone was taking a dump in the urinals.  This went on for a while, they finally caught the person, he was a 30 year employee, ended up finding out he had issues with the custodians.  His name is Mike,  but after we found out what he was doing, for the next 7 or 8 years he was given and even answered to the nickname “The Urinal Bomber”.
Click to expand...
When Mike has issues with custodians, he is not the kind of guy to take that sitting down.

 
There's a guy in our IT department who wears shorts to work pretty much every day (we have a relaxed dress code, but shorts are still very much frowned upon)

His nickname is "Legs".

 
Gottabesweet said:
Yikes. I waited it out to avoid that!  
Click to expand...


Deepster said:
We have 2 regular stalls and a handicap stall.  There's a guy across the floor in a wheelchair.  He has no arms beyond his elbows and only one leg.  The other leg is only to his knee.  He pulls himself around the building with his one leg.  When he uses the bathroom, he has his own roll of toilet paper (obviously it's hard for him to use the roll on the stall wall) and he lays a bath towel on the floor and slides himself from his chair to the commode like a snail.

One day, after lunch, I had to go and the handicap stall was the only one open so I took it.  Yep.  When I opened the door, there he was in his chair, staring straight at me.  Ugh.  I felt like such a creep.
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Why would you feel guilty?  Handicap stalls aren’t like handicap parking spaces.  They aren’t meant ONLY for handicap people.  If you took the handicap stall when the other stalls were open then you are a creep.  Or am I way off here?

 
GStrot said:
Why would you feel guilty?  Handicap stalls aren’t like handicap parking spaces.  They aren’t meant ONLY for handicap people.  If you took the handicap stall when the other stalls were open then you are a creep.  Or am I way off here?
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The Cadillac of stalls!

 
GStrot said:
Why would you feel guilty?  Handicap stalls aren’t like handicap parking spaces.  They aren’t meant ONLY for handicap people.  If you took the handicap stall when the other stalls were open then you are a creep.  Or am I way off here?
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agreed.  It's not like a handicap parking spot.  

 
we have a woman in our office whose urine stream is so strong I am inclined to believe it could cut steel. 

legitimately doesn't sound human.

 
New guy in the office is a drummer. I mentioned floppinho plays, and it's been non-stop uninvited drum gear chat *activated*.

I don't care, guy. My 12yo might...but probably not.

 
It must have only been that office.

We did have a IT guy who was male for 3 years. Then one day he came in and was named after a fruit and female. Wig and globs of perfume. This was probably 2018. Started using the women’s bathroom and the women were freaked out. They canned him for something work related a few months after the transition. Wasn’t there long enough to see the aftermath.
 
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