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What's the most 'bachelor' thing you ever did? (1 Viewer)

I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each.

:lmao:

 
Only food delivery places open after 2AM were Chinese. There weren't any good ones in the area, so we'd go through the phone book and pick them by name. If they sucked (and they all sucked) we'd try to remember to cross them out, but we were rarely sober enough to remember. One of the guys in our group decided that we couldn't order by name. We had to order by number. Without a menu. He used to aim for mid teens, and he somehow always ended up with something decent. My trick was to order a combo plate #5 and hope they asked me what I wanted for the side.

 
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :bag:
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:lmao: :)
 
Nigel said:
Got thrown off campus middle of sophomore year with two buddies. Moved into a ####hole off campus apartment and found a 20 lb turkey in the freezer. Date indicated it had been there over a year. Threw it in the oven on SB Sunday and when it looked done put it on a table in the middle of the room, among a hundred or so people. No plate, utensils, napkins or side dishes. In five minutes it was a skeleton. Juciest bird ever.
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I'd always been fed at work, 3 meals a day, so I never went grocery shopping. Except in November, when they'd have one of those "spend $30 and get a free Thanksgiving turkey" deals. I'd walk out with a big-### turkey and freeze it. When I'd be on hiatus over the summer, I'd cook that six-month old bird up one day and eat it for a whole week.
 
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :)
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Borris could have made a lot more by "returning" the CDs to Walmart. They don't require a receipt. :lmao:
 
Disco Stu said:
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :)
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Borris could have made a lot more by "returning" the CDs to Walmart. They don't require a receipt. :lmao:
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Borris was never known for his deep intelligence.
 
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :bag:
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Had a roommate do this. Used the name "Billy Vader".
 
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :bag:
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:bag:Did this as well but kept the CDs. Reminds me of one drunken yet quiet night at home with my roommates We scoured every magazine in the apartment for ads that had 1-800 numbers at the bottom. Not phone sex but stuff like "for more information on the Toyota Camary call for a free brochure" (this was pre-internet).For the next 5-6 weeks our mailbox was filled with literature from everything from car companies to adult diapers. And they were all addressed to people like Hugh G. Rection and Greg Brady.
 
General Malaise said:
Raise your hand if you've swept carpet because you couldn't afford a vacuum?
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I was managing a bookstore and when we were moving out to get out deposit back I lugged the store vacuum into my car, swept our apartment, and it broke.edit: typing while on the phone leads to some ####ty punctuation and sentence structure.
 
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RudiStein said:
Some gems from the original thread (somethingawful)

"I didn't want to with finding a clean spoon, so I drank pudding out of the little cup it came in. Wiped my face on the chair in which I was sitting."

"My bed frame had broken on one side so I just slept diagonally for a couple of weeks before finally fixing it."

"I've used beer instead of water when brushing my teeth"

"I was about to sit down to a nice pot of ramen, and enjoy it with a ruler. My roommate wanted some, so I dumped half of it on a piece of paper, and snapped the ruler in half so he would have a utensil as well.

I've also eaten Easy Mac with a staple remover by cocking my head back and letting the noodles fall into my mouth."

And my favorite:

"If I've had my underwear on so long it gets itchy and I don't want to do laundry, I'll just shove a paper towel down there for a day or two."
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:bag: :cry: :bag:
 
I ran out of cigarettes with about $1.34 to my name, but I had plenty of butts and joint papers. I spent an hour or so getting the last few grains of tobacco out of each butt and rolled them. Tasted awful.

Oh and res-bowls.

 
AhrnCityPahnder said:
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :cry:
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Had a roommate do this. Used the name "Billy Vader".
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:bag: When I moved to Portland, I took 4 CDs to the local music shop thinking I'd get 3 bucks a pop for them. Apparently, Portland music stores are a little more selective in what they will buy. I walked in with Barry White's greatest hits, two Brooks & Dunn albums and something from Jimmy Buffet. :bag: for all but the Barry White, which I actually used in college to get laid.Anyhow, I was strapped for cash and was hoping to use the money to play video poker and take the video poker winnings out to the bar to get loaded. I'm not kidding, that was my line of thought at 23.To my surprise, the hipster doofus working at the music store told me he could only offer me one dollar. I feigned outrage, told him he was high if he thought I would sell these musical gems for a dollar eaach. He corrected me and said "No, I'll give you a dollar for all four". :bag: I left, walked down the block, turned around, went back in and sold them for a dollar. Took that dollar to the video poker machine at the bar down the block and lost it in under 20 seconds.
 
Disco Stu said:
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :cry:
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Borris could have made a lot more by "returning" the CDs to Walmart. They don't require a receipt. :bag:
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Or getting his friends Morris and Horace to join as each other's referral friends, reaping the benefits of 18 cds a pop instead of 12. Plus 3 a month. :bag:
 
One of my roommates slept in the basement and would always eat his meals down there. But he'd never bother to bring any of the bowls, plates, etc. upstairs to the dishwasher. One time he was making soup and there weren't any clean bowls left. So he went downstairs, brought up a bowl that was caked in 3-day-old chili, and proceeded to pour his chicken noodle soup right into the bowl.

 
Most bachelor thing? That's a tough one--I was batching it for about 12 years before my first marriage...

For a few of those years I lived without gas--heat or cooking. It was an old mobile home, about 10' x 48', and I didn't trust the tank or lines--so it was space heaters for heating critical places, and cooking out on the front patio. The neighbor across the street really appreciated it, I think--he was retired with little need or ability to do much, so he spent the better parts of his days at the front window watching all the goings-on in that neighborhood. I'd be out there cooking on a grate laid over cinderblocks year round--full meals, soups from scratch, eggs in the mornings....about half the time with branches collected from the adjacent woods.

 
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Probably the time in college, before I knew how to iron, when I put all my dress clothes on the shower curtain rod, turned the hot water on full blast, and shut the bathroom door. After about 15 minutes, I caused a fire alarm in our on campus apartment to go off.

 
Chigurh said:
One of my roommates slept in the basement and would always eat his meals down there. But he'd never bother to bring any of the bowls, plates, etc. upstairs to the dishwasher. One time he was making soup and there weren't any clean bowls left. So he went downstairs, brought up a bowl that was caked in 3-day-old chili, and proceeded to pour his chicken noodle soup right into the bowl.
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mmmm...chicken chili
 
I sold grilled cheeses to tour with the Grateful Dead. Personal record was 180 after a concert. I would shout "a buck a piece or two for three dollars!" You'd be amazed how many times I actually sold the two for $3.

 
not really bachelor related, but this thread reminded me.

in college i had a roommate that ran up a $800 phone sex bill. i don't think he was a phone sex addict, he just got ####ed up and passed out on the phone. poor guy. he had to explain to his mom why he needed an extra $800 for bills that month.

 
One place where my buddy was living we broke a window pane while drunk. Someone duct taped an MRE there for the rest of the winter.

 
In college our bookstore was a multistory Barnes & Noble with the textbooks on the top floor

I would go to the 2nd floor, take books of the shelves and then "sell them" them for cash on the top floor in the textbook section

I think I sold the Norton Anthology of Literature 20X one semester

 
SmoovySmoov said:
Probably the time in college, before I knew how to iron, when I put all my dress clothes on the shower curtain rod, turned the hot water on full blast, and shut the bathroom door. After about 15 minutes, I caused a fire alarm in our on campus apartment to go off.
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i still do this to "iron" clothes when i'm stuck in hotels.
 
glumpy said:
Most bachelor thing? That's a tough one--I was batching it for about 12 years before my first marriage...

For a few of those years I lived without gas--heat or cooking. It was an old mobile home, about 10' x 48', and I didn't trust the tank or lines--so it was space heaters for heating critical places, and cooking out on the front patio. The neighbor across the street really appreciated it, I think--he was retired with little need or ability to do much, so he spent the better parts of his days at the front window watching all the goings-on in that neighborhood. I'd be out there cooking on a grate laid over cinderblocks year round--full meals, soups from scratch, eggs in the mornings....about half the time with branches collected from the adjacent woods.
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Geez man...that's not 'bachelor', that's "Dust Bowl"
 
Jackstraw said:
I sold grilled cheeses to tour with the Grateful Dead. Personal record was 180 after a concert. I would shout "a buck a piece or two for three dollars!" You'd be amazed how many times I actually sold the two for $3.
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:lmao: not heady man
 
Bought and was using a rice cooker. I set it on an unlit burner on the stove so the fan above would catch the steam. At the same time I was cooking some chicken in the oven. I didn't realize the oven vents heat from beneath that burner so the bottom of the rice cooker melted to the burner. I had to pry the rice cooker off the burner. Then proceeded to return the rice cooker at Walmart because it was "defective". Threw away the plastic encrusted burner and never replaced it before I moved out.

 
RudiStein said:
glumpy said:
Most bachelor thing? That's a tough one--I was batching it for about 12 years before my first marriage...

For a few of those years I lived without gas--heat or cooking. It was an old mobile home, about 10' x 48', and I didn't trust the tank or lines--so it was space heaters for heating critical places, and cooking out on the front patio. The neighbor across the street really appreciated it, I think--he was retired with little need or ability to do much, so he spent the better parts of his days at the front window watching all the goings-on in that neighborhood. I'd be out there cooking on a grate laid over cinderblocks year round--full meals, soups from scratch, eggs in the mornings....about half the time with branches collected from the adjacent woods.
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Geez man...that's not 'bachelor', that's "Dust Bowl"
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Ahhh, the best days were when Rosasharn would provide dinner.
 
Tremendous Upside said:
In college our bookstore was a multistory Barnes & Noble with the textbooks on the top floorI would go to the 2nd floor, take books of the shelves and then "sell them" them for cash on the top floor in the textbook sectionI think I sold the Norton Anthology of Literature 20X one semester
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:lmao: :lmao: :bag:
 
RudiStein said:
General Malaise said:
I'm pretty sure the guys at Columbia Music or whatever that outfit was that would sell 12 CDs/tapes for a penny each if you joined their club are still looking for "Borris Fezbitt". Old Borris abused their membership, taking virtually all the brand new CDs he got mailed to him at the nebulous fraternity house address and immediately selling them to the local music store for 2-3 bucks each. :thumbup:
Click to expand...
:thumbup:Did this as well but kept the CDs. Reminds me of one drunken yet quiet night at home with my roommates We scoured every magazine in the apartment for ads that had 1-800 numbers at the bottom. Not phone sex but stuff like "for more information on the Toyota Camary call for a free brochure" (this was pre-internet).For the next 5-6 weeks our mailbox was filled with literature from everything from car companies to adult diapers. And they were all addressed to people like Hugh G. Rection and Greg Brady.
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I used to send fake magazine subscriptions with those postage paid cards that fell out of the mags. Thought it would be funny to send hustler & penthouse to all the old grannies in the area.
 
Shooter McGavin said:
northern exposure said:
Three of us left the bar and only had enough money for either some cheap food or a taxi. We walked to a pizza place and ordered a pizza to be delivered. Asked the driver if we could catch a ride with him. He drove to our apartment with the pizza and the 3 of us in the car. When we got to the apartment we paid him for the pizza and invited him in for a beer for his troubles.
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genius!
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we did this a couple times in college. oftentimes the pizza drivers would give rides to drunk people back to campus out of kindness too
 
DevilsTrifecta said:
The Hardline said:
bostonfred said:
Had $7.41 in checking account. Deposited $3 with $10 cash back.
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Finance Major....Damn this thread is making me :thumbup: I had forgotten stuff like this.
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St. Patrick's Day: Me and my roommate were so broke we had no booze and no food.....scoured the house and gathered up enough change to get a bottle of Jameson and a 6-pack of Guiness. Best St. Patty's Day ever!
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Sold a textbook in college for 7 dollars and bought a bottle of "Mohawk" peppermint schnapps. Almost died of alcohol poisoning.
 
Had a grocery store in the neighborhood that would give you product for the face value of cents off coupons. So, we would scour magazines, newspapers ,whatever for the coupons. As long as the store sold the product, they would take it. We would gather $20-40 worth of coupons and then shop for things we needed. Manufacturers paid the store the face value of the coupon plus a handling fee, so they made money doing it and we loved it.

I still remember the sheer exhilaration of finding a $2-3 off coupon for diapers or feminine hygiene products. Good times.

 
RudiStein said:
Reminds me of one drunken yet quiet night at home with my roommates We scoured every magazine in the apartment for ads that had 1-800 numbers at the bottom. Not phone sex but stuff like "for more information on the Toyota Camary call for a free brochure" (this was pre-internet).For the next 5-6 weeks our mailbox was filled with literature from everything from car companies to adult diapers. And they were all addressed to people like Hugh G. Rection and Greg Brady.
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To this day, I still occasionally get stuff from the AARP and the Scooter Store, and other associated old people-related things (I'm 33) because of my ####### roommates who signed me up for infomation on "The Rascal"
 
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pigskinliquors said:
-went to happy hour and ate all the free food I needed on Fridays = didn't need to purchase lunch or dinner
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I do this at least once a week still - free boneless chicken on Wednesdays and 3 dollar long islands
 
One of my roommates went to Amsterdam for a week and kept telling us he had a surprise for the rest of us. Our house had a mail slot in the front door -- it used to scare the crap out of you if you happened to be walking by when the mailman dropped your mail on the floor. One day our front hall started to have this strong smell. We couldn't quite place it but it was overwhelming. Eventually one of us decided to pick up the mail and that's when we discovered the source. This bulging envelope smelled an awful lot like marijuana. Our friend had mailed us an enormous baggie of weed inside a children's birthday card. He wrote: "I'll be back soon. Save some for me, you c*cksuckers!"

 
:goodposting: The adult in me right now is fairly happy that he didn't suffer through some of these moments, but the guy/kid in me is realizing that I probably didn't enjoy my brief time as a bachelor as much as some.

I can't think of anything too awful I ever did. I once made a sandwich out of ham, cheese, mayo, mustard, lettuce and oreo cookies because I didn't feel like having to go back to the kitchen to get the cookies after I was done with the sandwich.

I used to order pizza all the time from the same place and managed to get the cell phone number of the driver somehow so most of the time I would call him while he was on the road and ask him to stop at the store for me on the way and grab me some smokes and soda. He always did.

 
After some of these, I'm assuming using Ketchup over spaghetti noodles because sauce was too expensive is commonplace?

 
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