What's the most embarrassing way you got injured? (1 Viewer)

[Bonfire]

When I was young I was under the impression that slip n slide works: a thin layer of water and slippery mat = slide over anything.  ANYTHING.  So in my elementary school wisdom laid the mat out over long run it knobby tree roots extending up and around ground for the entire length of run.  A full sprinting start and I learned a small but important physics lesson.

 

[NewlyRetired]

7th grade in gym class.

We were doing gymnastics.

At the end of the class when every one was leaving to get dressed in the locker room, I got the idea to hop up on the balance beam and sprint across.

About half way I miss stepped with my right foot going over the left side of the beam.  I came down with my full weight as the outside of my right thigh was sliced open, from just above knee to just below hip, by the sharp edge of the beam.

Probably the worst pain I ever experienced in my entire life.  

 

[brun]

When I was about 18 I got 5 stitches in my thumb opening a can of tuna

Around the same age I gashed my thumb from the base to tip when I slipped with the screwdriver trying to pry open a paint can.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

I threw my back out while folding laundry.

 

[maxwelledison]

My sophomore yr in HS i got between a foot & a soccer ball and got kicked pretty good in the side of my head. Concussion, no biggie 'cept my brain is improperly suspended in my skull (got stenosis too, whole nerve system is screwy) which meant that the swelling caused any jarring movement of my head to concuss the equal and opposite side of my thinkbox, and so on and so on and so on. So i spent 3 weeks in cervical traction (and that was pretty primitive thing in the late 60s) for a fluky accident.

That's not the embarassing part. One day not long after my recovery, i got off the school bus with my crummy, cootie-filled li'l sister. Kids entered the Pissah house from school or play by the garage so they could de-muddify before entering my mother's laminated charmcastle She arrived before i did so lifted the garage door and was holding it for me to enter. The full view of her stoopit pimply face, her generally ridiculous manner & exterior and the ten seconds i had to cook up an insult made my characterization of her cruddiness particularly piquant as i passed. She responded by closing the garage door squarely atop my noggin. Three more weeks of cervical traction. Stupid sister....

I love you wikkid but it sounds like you deserved the last part. /bendsknee

 

[wikkidpissah]

I love you wikkid but it sounds like you deserved the last part. /bendsknee

I've deserved everything that's ever happened to me, my friend. Soooo embarrassing.....

 

[GroveDiesel]

Lots of great stories in here.

I was playing slow pitch softball about 6 years ago, so early/mid-30s. I hit a grounder to short and was mad at myself. So I was determined to beat the throw out. As I got to first base, my stride was off just a touch, so instead of running through the bag (or, you know, just being out because it's slow pitch softball), I stretched to try to beat the throw. Unfortunately, when I stretched, I hit the front edge of the bag and my knee locked. My momentum then caused two fun things: 1) I hyperextended my knee and 2) with my knee locked and at an angle, the rest of my body treated my planted leg as if it was a pole in a pole vaulting contest. 

I went head over heels smashing both my head and my back on the infield. I regained consciousness with both teams and a bunch of fans surrounding me. I vaguely remember coming to and telling everyone I would be ok and heading back towards the bench. What I don't remember is watching the rest of the game from the bench, shaking hands with the other team after the game, or about 10 minutes after that. It was only a bit later as our team was changing shoes and packing up that I suddenly "came to". I sort of "woke up" and had no idea how I suddenly was sitting there with the game over. I also couldn't figure out what I was in so much pain. I actually asked the other guys if I had done something to hurt myself. They all laughed thinking I was joking. I had to tell them that I was being serious. . It was at that point that we all decided I needed to go to the ER to get checked out.

Got diagnosed with a concussion that took almost a full year to 100% recover from and a hematoma on my back that looked like a freaking purple/black/blue/green hunchback on my back. It was so swollen and sticking out it was like having something the size of a fanny pack on my lower back.

 

[mr roboto]

I threw my back out while folding laundry.

Ok. This wins. 

 

[maxwelledison]

I've deserved everything that's ever happened to me, my friend. Soooo embarrassing.....

Understood and same for me. 

 

[shuke]

When I was a kid, I was trying to be funny and play a joke on my little brother that I was going to stick my finger in one of those Handheld electric garden shears.  I meant to stick my finger on the back non-moving plate, but ended up chopping off the tip of my finger.  

 

[Sullie]

Did you ever get stitches? Is your mom a psychiatric nurse rather than a medical nurse? I’ve heard of parents that were tough on their kids, but yikes, your mamma is hard core!

It's funny, generally, I would say she was over protective to a fault but not that specific time.  I never got stitches for it, my Mom worked in the ER at that time so, I think, to her it was a scratch and maybe she thought I was being a big baby about it?  Of course, knowing me, she had probably asked me to stop goofing around outside, come in and get my homework done and she was probably pissed at me anyway.  Honestly, I wasn't the best kid in the world, I was generally doing something to piss somebody off.  I definitely had that "any attention is good attention" thing going on for a while before I figured out that wasn't a good path to go down. 

 

[Quint]

1987 attending UC Davis. on my 12-speed, heading to class. very "bike-centric" culture on that campus and surrounding area, so i'm zipping along calling out "on your left...on your left" as i rode through campus, passing like i was in the Tour de France. on a long straightaway, right in front of the big lawn on the Quad, a girl on a beach cruiser decides to stop dead in front of me to make a LH turn. i plowed into her going about 20 mph, and flew ###-over-tea-kettle when my front tire demolished her rear tire. got up off the bike lane pavement, and started berating her with all kinds of obscenities at a volume that brought a hush to most everyone there. after about 15 seconds of this, and taking a moment to realize what i was saying and the reaction of the girl (unhurt, but crying) and the crowd (death-stares coming hard), i picked up what was left of my bike and walked to class with it over my shoulder. instructor sends me bruised and scraped to the Campus Health Clinic, where i was diagnosed with a fractured wrist. looking back, i was obviously the "embarrassing" part of that injury.

 

[nirad3]

Slammed my pe n i s in a car door once. 

Matchbox or Hot Wheels?

 

[nirad3]

1987 attending UC Davis. on my 12-speed, heading to class. very "bike-centric" culture on that campus and surrounding area, so i'm zipping along calling out "on your left...on your left" as i rode through campus, passing like i was in the Tour de France. on a long straightaway, right in front of the big lawn on the Quad, a girl on a beach cruiser decides to stop dead in front of me to make a LH turn. i plowed into her going about 20 mph, and flew ###-over-tea-kettle when my front tire demolished her rear tire. got up off the bike lane pavement, and started berating her with all kinds of obscenities at a volume that brought a hush to most everyone there. after about 15 seconds of this, and taking a moment to realize what i was saying and the reaction of the girl (unhurt, but crying) and the crowd (death-stares coming hard), i picked up what was left of my bike and walked to class with it over my shoulder. instructor sends me bruised and scraped to the Campus Health Clinic, where i was diagnosed with a fractured wrist. looking back, i was obviously the "embarrassing" part of that injury.

Ahh, reminds me... wasn't too embarrassing since no one was around really, but I too was riding a bike at a very bike-centric college (UCSB) and hurt myself.  Was biking to a job interview, wearing some nice shoes that had absolutely no grip.  Not for bike riding.  Well, this was in the early fall when it was still pretty warm and there was a small brush fire next to the building that my interview was out.  So the fire department had the road closed and told me to turn around.  So I turn around and I go to get my bike going and the pedal slips and whips around, banging the pedal into my calf.  Hurt like a mofo.  Basketball walk-on tryouts were that evening and I had given thought to going.  I wouldn't have made it but there was no way I was running with my calf pulsating with pain.

Also, eventually got the job (cold-calling alumni for money) and quit after like 2 days.   

 

[mr roboto]

Matchbox or Hot Wheels?

FUNNY

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

When I was a kid, I was trying to be funny and play a joke on my little brother that I was going to stick my finger in one of those Handheld electric garden shears.  I meant to stick my finger on the back non-moving plate, but ended up chopping off the tip of my finger.  

I did a similar thing, except it was me by myself and I was just trying to do ninja #### thankfully it only nipped me on the side of the finger

 

[spodog]

Was riding in my buddies boat on pretty well trafficked part of the lake.  We cruised past what appeared to be the top of a 2 piece bikini floating in the water. 

I had him circle around so I could snatch this thing out of the water.    Had to lean waaaaay out of the boat to get my hand in position to reach it as he circled around.    Just as we got close,  the boat was pounded with a big wake, side of the boat lurched up into me. 

Broke 2 ribs.  Bikini top remained in the water. 

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

I was doing some work in the yard when I got stung by two hornets. I saw the nest in some weeds next to the house and was armed with an old five gallon bucket. I thought I could slam the bucket down on top, smashing down the weeds and trap the bees inside. Maybe it was because the bucket was old or I could be really strong, because when I slammed the bucket down (upside down, right hand squarely on the bottom to drive it down) my hand broke through and went fist first into the nest. I ran. Screaming like a girl. Bees all over. Once I got inside I had been stung a dozen times and there was blood everywhere. The jagged plastic had sliced my wrist pretty deep. I still have the scar. Three inches long running directly above the vein in my right wrist. The scar runs down the road not across the tracks. I generally get funny looks when I shake hands at work. HR contacted me once after meeting a new supervisor to make sure I was " feeling ok"

Even after I explain the scar I still get that sideways look that says, "sure, buddy."

 

[Maik Jeaunz]

Walking down the stairs in my house. Was on the way to a BBQ and was texting my buddy while I was walking down. Missed a step, fell onto the railing sideways, did a full flip over the rail and landed flat on my back. Knocked the wind out and broke my ribs.

Still went to the BBQ. 

 

[jhib]

When I was a young kid, my parents got a shed for the backyard.  The night it was installed (before it was filled up with crap), I camped out in it with my brother and a couple friends.  I woke up in the middle of the night having to pee badly, but was creeped out by the dark and nighttime noises in the yard so made a barefoot run for it to the house.  About halfway there, I stepped on a garden rake someone left lying in the yard. Example.  

My scream woke my brother up and he helped me patch up my foot. I thought I could get away with just telling the guys I cut my foot on the rake, but I had to spill the rest of the story the next morning when they saw the bruise on my face.

 

[Green and Gold]

My brother was probably 9 at the time. He was on a little toy rocking horse, rocking away, but it was a little cold so he had his arms pulled into his t-shirt. He lost his balance and fell off the rocking horse, breaking his collarbone.

Nearly 30 years later and we still give him crap for it.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

Not an injury per se, but about 15 years ago I caused myself some intense and hilarious pain.  Chopping serrano peppers and habaneros for my insanely hot chili and was enjoying a few beers, as I tended to do.  Which went through me, as beers tend to do. And I proceeded to whizz, as one tends to do.  And a few minutes after relieving myself,  the transfer of capsacin from my fingers to little Homer proceeded to reach the nerve endings and basically set my wang afire. And it lasted a shockingly long time.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

the hornet story reminded me of one I had forgotten about

Was trying to put a tarp over an old leaky shed to protect my lawnmower until I could get the roof fixed. I threw a log up there to hold down the tarp and it disturbed a hidden nest of yellowjackets. Felt that funny warm feeling on my arm just before the first one popped me, and I took off in an olympian-class sprint, hurdled the chain link fence and made it inside, where I thought I was safe. I heard buzzing. It was then that I realized that buzzing was coming from INSIDE MY SHIRT.  The stings I received weren't bad, but the full-torso claw marks I gave myself from trying to get that damn thing out of my shirt were pretty gnarly.