What's your walking around anxiety level? (1 Viewer)

[-OZ-]

At the current time I gave myself a 10.

-Losing my job in Sept

-Wife having surgery in a few weeks

-Trying to get the house ready to sell

- Battling stomach issues

That's not anxiety, that's legit tough stuff. Thankfully you have the fortitude to persevere.

 

[AAABatteries]

I’ve had Rok on my ignore list for a really long time but please tell me this guy was banned for this.

@Joe Bryant

 

[The Gator]

I’ve had Rok on my ignore list for a really long time but please tell me this guy was banned for this.

@Joe Bryant

One of the more helpful threads here ruined by him. 

 

[matuski]

.

 

[Mr.Pack]

It will all work out bud.  Power through

Thanks man, I keep this underlying thought in my head. 

That's not anxiety, that's legit tough stuff. Thankfully you have the fortitude to persevere.

Thanks, and I will persevere. I try to step back and breathe and laugh a few times a day, if not I'll crumble.

 

[Mr.Pack]

My pleasure and I continue to serve Veterans at every turn. It’s a tough business, I hear amazing stories of sacrifice and unabridged truth, worth every minute. 

You're a good man DD. Thank you for your service and your continuing service to the Vets. 

#madrespect

 

[Mr.Pack]

Just want to say @parasaurolophus is genuine good people.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Do you mind sharing your method?

This is exclusively for when they are buzzing around ground level, not for nests. I use a can of coleman camp fogger in one hand and a can of wasp and hornet killer in the other. The fogger wont kill them, but it has such a wide spray it stuns them. Then you can spray them with the wasp and hornet killer. If I cant get close enough to them for fogger use (it has a limited range) I use a fire extinguisher. Then I spray the stunned yellow jacket with the wasp and hornet killer. I tried a hose end sprayer with permethrin, but it need to be too high of a concentration to kill them and it would fan out so much that I would end up getting it on myself if I had to spray upward at any angle. 

I just got a bottle of 25% bifenthrin that I plan to make a more powerful killer that I can blast at them using a tube and an air compressor. 

 

[Quint]

This is exclusively for when they are buzzing around ground level, not for nests. I use a can of coleman camp fogger in one hand and a can of wasp and hornet killer in the other. The fogger wont kill them, but it has such a wide spray it stuns them. Then you can spray them with the wasp and hornet killer. If I cant get close enough to them for fogger use (it has a limited range) I use a fire extinguisher. Then I spray the stunned yellow jacket with the wasp and hornet killer. I tried a hose end sprayer with permethrin, but it need to be too high of a concentration to kill them and it would fan out so much that I would end up getting it on myself if I had to spray upward at any angle. 

I just got a bottle of 25% bifenthrin that I plan to make a more powerful killer that I can blast at them using a tube and an air compressor. 

I’ve been vexed by a wasps for the last month or so ( my irrational fear of them has amplified considerably) and cannot find the nest in or near the house. We can’t even leave the back door open to let the breeze come through as they will just fly right in. I’ve got zero issues with taking down a nest, but was reading about how taking down individual wasps is a bad idea due to some kind of pheromone being released which alerts other wasps to danger and promoting attacks. Have you had any issues with reinforcements coming to defend a fallen comrade? 

 

[CurlyNight]

Do you mind sharing your method?

The place I'm at they hang a bag with some kind of solution in it on the trees. Lots of yellow jackets here, and in the bags.

 

[parasaurolophus]

I’ve been vexed by a wasps for the last month or so ( my irrational fear of them has amplified considerably) and cannot find the nest in or near the house. We can’t even leave the back door open to let the breeze come through as they will just fly right in. I’ve got zero issues with taking down a nest, but was reading about how taking down individual wasps is a bad idea due to some kind of pheromone being released which alerts other wasps to danger and promoting attacks. Have you had any issues with reinforcements coming to defend a fallen comrade? 

I think that only works if you get stung or if they come in contact to you. It is a target pheromone. Thats why you arent supposed to swat at them, even if you have thick gloves on. 

 

[parasaurolophus]

The place I'm at they hang a bag with some kind of solution in it on the trees. Lots of yellow jackets here, and in the bags.

The problem with the traps is that sure you catch a lot, but it also means you are luring more of them to your property. They have a range of a mile. 

 

[CurlyNight]

The problem with the traps is that sure you catch a lot, but it also means you are luring more of them to your property. They have a range of a mile. 

Whatever they are using, I see maybe a couple a month. Before it was a swarm. One tree is right outside my kitchen window. I no longer have them glued to the screen trying to get in.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I’ve had Rok on my ignore list for a really long time but please tell me this guy was banned for this.

@Joe Bryant

Yes. Looks like he was. 

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

People are still surprised at his outbursts and that Joe allows it to keep happening? The username changes, but the pattern remains the same.

At a minimum, his posts should be removed from this helpful and interesting thread. 

I deleted like 50 or so posts and banned him (again). May have missed a couple but it’s been thoroughly cleaned up long ago. 

 

[eoMMan]

I get anxious when Bitesquad says they'll be here at 6:20 with my food and it's now 6:21...no food yet.

:tryingtolightenthemood:

 

[northern exposure]

I deleted like 50 or so posts and banned him (again). May have missed a couple but it’s been thoroughly cleaned up long ago. 

Good to know and hopefully he learns a lesson for when he returns.

 

[mr. furley]

so far we've got a lot of anxiety ratings but not a lot of answers to "what can people do to help understand you better?"

 

[eoMMan]

so far we've got a lot of anxiety ratings but not a lot of answers to "what can people do to help understand you better?"

Are you asking suggestions on how to get other people to understand your anxiety?

 

[mr. furley]

Are you asking suggestions on how to get other people to understand your anxiety?

opposite

i'm anxiety free

asking people who suffer with anxiety what people like me can do to better understand how to deal/work with them. for someone like me who "understands" anxiety but clearly has no ####### clue... i'd like some suggestions for things not to do/say around someone who struggles with nerves.

 

[Kraft...]

I'm low anxiety but I share a house with two daughters and a wife that take meds for anxiety.

Wife is pretty severe(Anxiety, OCD and Depression) she is on a high dose of meds. Tried therapy a few times but didn't like it. For her it's exercise that helps her stabilize. She works out every morning and sometimes in the evenings too. I do my best to accommodate weather that means getting dinner ready or dropping/picking kids up. She rarely misses a workout. This has helped two fold because she has made a lot of friends over the years through the gym, running groups etc. Now she has a group of like minded girl friends she can work out with, do weekend trips, go for coffee drinks etc. She also does a lot of volunteer work through our church and local community(sometimes to much and that can cause more stress). My wife says she isn't 100% OK but maybe 80% and she accepts that is likely her ceiling and deals with it.

Oldest daughter also severe and working her way up to high dose of meds(ADHD, Anxiety and Depression). Goes to therapy and likes it, she has a therapist she can really talk to and feels comfortable with. There is also a teacher at school that has been a big help, talked her down from a bunch of panic attacks at school. She has some social anxiety but mainly is just really hard on herself. No matter how many times we tell her she doesn't have to have perfect grades she just can't get it out of her head. Same with sports, and she is a goalie, thinks every goal is her fault even though her teammates, coaches etc tell her otherwise. She tends to go to her room ("The Bunker") and get lost in comic books or online.  We have to make an effort to keep her active and social. She loves dogs and so does my wife, they have gone to puppy therapy a few times and really enjoyed it. You just go and play with puppies for a couple hours who wouldn't love that  . Also we talk a lot about how great she is and give her a lot of affirmation, seems to help but she's still figuring things out. The Meds have helped her but she's still not 100%, we hope to get her on a solid path before she heads to college.  

Second daughter less severe(Anxiety only). She is on a low dose of meds and that has helped her quite a bit. She just finished her first year of high school and is flourishing. She was low confidence, extremely shy, social anxiety and test anxiety at school. She has really come out of her shell over the last couple years. At her Softball Banquet she got up and spoke in front of everyone about what a great year she had and thanked her teammates. That was totally spontaneous too, she had nothing planned. For her it's confronting her fears that has worked best. It started with singing in choir at church, then presentations at school, then she got up and spoke at an assembly in front of the whole 8th grade then the softball banquet. She needs to stay active, so we keep her as busy as possible. She still has her moments of uncertainty but they are few and far between. 

Lots of talking, listening and reminding them all what great people they are is how we support each other. And we try to laugh a lot  

 

[matuski]

opposite

i'm anxiety free

asking people who suffer with anxiety what people like me can do to better understand how to deal/work with them. for someone like me who "understands" anxiety but clearly has no ####### clue... i'd like some suggestions for things not to do/say around someone who struggles with nerves.

I don't equate anxiety with nerves.

I'm not nervous.  I don't know how to put the difference into words.

 

[Henry Ford]

opposite

i'm anxiety free

asking people who suffer with anxiety what people like me can do to better understand how to deal/work with them. for someone like me who "understands" anxiety but clearly has no ####### clue... i'd like some suggestions for things not to do/say around someone who struggles with nerves.

I don't equate anxiety with nerves.

I'm not nervous.  I don't know how to put the difference into words.

This.  It's not nerves.  It's something altogether different.  "Nerves" are what you feel before you walk out to give a presentation to an auditorium.  Anxiety is what you feel when you haven't heard from your kid in eight hours and two homicide detectives pull up in front of your house.

 

[matuski]

I am supremely confident about things/topics/areas I am expert in.  I have anxiety about areas I can't control.

I both look forward to and dread many sales situations, because I know I'm going to do well... but I get wound up when I try to anticipate how it might go off track or anticipate objections.  I get truly upset if I find myself unprepared for something.  Bothers me for days.

I can get over a "no" if I was prepared and it just doesn't work out.  I really have a hard time getting over a "no" I feel I could have affected better if i had "done this" or "thought of that".

 

[mr. furley]

for my own curiosity

https://www.google.com/search?q=definition+of+anxiety&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS769US769&oq=definition+of+anxiety&aqs=chrome..69i57.3640j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

anx·i·e·ty

aNGˈzīədē/

noun

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

"he felt a surge of anxiety"

synonyms:worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear, disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, agitation, angst, misgiving, nervousness, nerves, tension, tenseness; More

desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease.

"the housekeeper's eager anxiety to please"

synonyms:eagerness, keenness, desire

"an anxiety to please"

PSYCHIATRY

a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

 

[Kraft...]

I am supremely confident about things/topics/areas I am expert in.  I have anxiety about areas I can't control.

I both look forward to and dread many sales situations, because I know I'm going to do well... but I get wound up when I try to anticipate how it might go off track or anticipate objections.  I get truly upset if I find myself unprepared for something.  Bothers me for days.

I can get over a "no" if I was prepared and it just doesn't work out.  I really have a hard time getting over a "no" I feel I could have affected better if i had "done this" or "thought of that".

Very interesting, my wife tends to over prepare for everything. From work presentations to taking the kids to the beach. I've been caught many times without bug spray or sunblock and she will always have multiple types of both. 

 

[mr. furley]

Very interesting, my wife tends to over prepare for everything. From work presentations to taking the kids to the beach. I've been caught many times without bug spray or sunblock and she will always have multiple types of both. 

mine is the same way, except there's no way i'm walking out the door without her mentioning at least 4-5 times that i need bug spray and/or sunblock or i will get West Nile or 3rd degree burns

and it's not just that it's possible either of those might happen

it's a 5-star solid gold lock that both of these things absolutely happen.. and not just to me.. but to everyone in the immediate vicinity, whether they are wearing bug spray and/or sunblock, or not.

and it will all be her fault for not being able to convince me

therefore, we really shouldn't leave

 

[Henry Ford]

for my own curiosity

https://www.google.com/search?q=definition+of+anxiety&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS769US769&oq=definition+of+anxiety&aqs=chrome..69i57.3640j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

anx·i·e·ty

aNGˈzīədē/

noun

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

"he felt a surge of anxiety"

synonyms:worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear, disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, agitation, angst, misgiving, nervousness, nerves, tension, tenseness; More

desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease.

"the housekeeper's eager anxiety to please"

synonyms:eagerness, keenness, desire

"an anxiety to please"

PSYCHIATRY

a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

You are never going to get a reasonable definition of a psychiatric diagnosis from a dictionary.

 

[Henry Ford]

For your curiosity:

DSM-V criteria for Generalized Anxiety Disorder

A. Excessive anxiety and worry (apprehensive expectation), occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).

B. The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.

C. The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms having been present for more days than not for the past 6 months): Note: Only one item required in children.

1. Restlessness, feeling keyed up or on edge.

2. Being easily fatigued.

3. Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank.

4. Irritability.

5. Muscle tension.

6. Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep).

D. The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

E. The disturbance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition (e.g., hyperthyroidism).

F. The disturbance is not better explained by another medical disorder (e.g., anxiety or worry about having panic attacks in panic disorder, negative evaluation in social anxiety disorder [social phobia], contamination or other obsessions in obsessive-compulsive disorder, separation from attachment figures in separation anxiety disorder, reminders of traumatic events in posttraumatic stress disorder, gaining weight in anorexia nervosa, physical complaints in somatic symptom disorder, perceived appearance flaws in body dysmorphic disorder, having a serious illness in illness anxiety disorder, or the content of delusional beliefs in schizophrenia or delusional disorder).

 

[wikkidpissah]

anthropological definition: lost food

 

[The Gator]

I am supremely confident about things/topics/areas I am expert in.  I have anxiety about areas I can't control.

I both look forward to and dread many sales situations, because I know I'm going to do well... but I get wound up when I try to anticipate how it might go off track or anticipate objections.  I get truly upset if I find myself unprepared for something.  Bothers me for days.

I can get over a "no" if I was prepared and it just doesn't work out.  I really have a hard time getting over a "no" I feel I could have affected better if i had "done this" or "thought of that".

Have you tried any yoga/meditation? 

I have family who deal with this and they always try to find activities to keep their mind busy rather than practicing on calming their mind. I've even read that here, it seems. 

 

[Joe Bryant]

so far we've got a lot of anxiety ratings but not a lot of answers to "what can people do to help understand you better?"

This is a good question and idea.

And maybe it’s not as much “understand” better but how someone who doesn’t have anxiety can make things more comfortable or help?

In other words, if you’re dealing with this, what kinds of things (if any) can people around you do to help or make you more comfortable or less anxious?

 

[mr. furley]

You are never going to get a reasonable definition of a psychiatric diagnosis from a dictionary.

 

[mr. furley]

This is a good question and idea.

And maybe it’s not as much “understand” better but how someone who doesn’t have anxiety can make things more comfortable or help?

In other words, if you’re dealing with this, what kinds of things (if any) can people around you do to help or make you more comfortable or less anxious?

yes

 

[Henry Ford]

This is a good question and idea.

And maybe it’s not as much “understand” better but how someone who doesn’t have anxiety can make things more comfortable or help?

In other words, if you’re dealing with this, what kinds of things (if any) can people around you do to help or make you more comfortable or less anxious?

Honestly, the first thing is to understand what it is, which is why I am trying to explain the difference anxiety sufferers tend to see between "nerves" and anxiety.  Any reasonable adult (which furley is) who actually understands what we're talking about can come up with some decent ideas of his or her own.  But it requires understanding what the feeling is.

I would liken it to being injected with adrenaline at some random time when you're supposed to act like a prim and proper human being.  When an anxiety attack hits, your fight or flight instincts are in full effect, but you may be sitting down to a five star dinner with your spouse on your first date night in months - probably the best thing someone can do then is ask "what's the best thing I can do to help right now?" and make sure there's enough communication and respect between them to know that the anxious person can say "we have to leave, even if it means paying for this meal and not even getting to take it home" and it'll be okay.

 

[Henry Ford]

Also, try to occasionally do something so monumentally stupid that you can point to it when they feel guilty for the anxiety.  

"I just feel awful asking you to leave this dinner, it makes me feel worthless."

"Oh, come on, honey.  You didn't judge me when I ripped my pants at our last date and everyone saw I wasn't wearing underwear.  We'll call it even."

 

[CurlyNight]

As a former caregiver to my cousin, the key was to be supportive and not to try and play couch psychologist. There are different types of anxiety and for many it's not easy to maintain or even get through. Fam drove my cousin out with their ignorance to the psych ward. 

 

[cockroach]

so far we've got a lot of anxiety ratings but not a lot of answers to "what can people do to help understand you better?"

This is a good question and idea.

And maybe it’s not as much “understand” better but how someone who doesn’t have anxiety can make things more comfortable or help?

In other words, if you’re dealing with this, what kinds of things (if any) can people around you do to help or make you more comfortable or less anxious

I think it stems from too various of sources and any answers you may get will only apply to individuals and won't be very applicable for you.  

 

[mr. furley]

i'll put it like this with a personal anecdote

my wife has trouble making plans. the act of making plans causes her tremendous anxiety. how can she make plans when she has so many other things to take care of instead? how can she take care of these other things if she's busy doing something else? but which task to tackle first in order to be able to comfortably make plans? there's no way to prioritize because there are so many.. there are so many because there are too many.. tackling one, means ignoring another... and now she's totally overwhelmed by anxiety... and cannot function.

so she shuts down and needs to "rest" her mind. which results in her spending time thinking about how she can prioritize these insurmountable tasks, so that she can comfortably make plans to do something she enjoys... which leaves her feeling like she can never, ever escape this sense of failure she has for never being able to take care of...... life's daily tasks/chores/grind.

i've, stupidly, tried to help with plans/decision making when she expresses concern about inability to prioritize urgent tasks. i'm supposed to listen and be supportive.. i know.. but that doesn't lead to her feeling better and accomplishing the task at hand.

so i've tried, in spots, reminding her of tasks she expressed need be done.. that only she can do... .which leads to her saying that i'm telling her what to do.. and nobody tells her what to do.

if i say nothing, and something urgent goes by the board, she gets upset that i didn't tell her in advance.

so either i remind her and/or try to help and get in trouble for "telling her what to do", or i say nothing and get in trouble for not being helpful. 

and if she doesn't say anything to me so that i have no decision to make... she will ignore the task/plan, etc. and feel horrible anxiety, guilt and regret for having not acted.

i know it's all her anxiety reacting and that she's trying to fight it but that's also making it worse. she knows she's not in control of her mind, that it's making things worse and she feels terrible about it but she has not found an effective way to cope/fight it/understand it... and i've yet to find a way to help/do better from my end.

 

[tonydead]

2 @ work

zero not @ work

 

[mr. furley]

Honestly, the first thing is to understand what it is, which is why I am trying to explain the difference anxiety sufferers tend to see between "nerves" and anxiety.  Any reasonable adult (which furley is) who actually understands what we're talking about can come up with some decent ideas of his or her own.  But it requires understanding what the feeling is.

I would liken it to being injected with adrenaline at some random time when you're supposed to act like a prim and proper human being.  When an anxiety attack hits, your fight or flight instincts are in full effect, but you may be sitting down to a five star dinner with your spouse on your first date night in months - probably the best thing someone can do then is ask "what's the best thing I can do to help right now?" and make sure there's enough communication and respect between them to know that the anxious person can say "we have to leave, even if it means paying for this meal and not even getting to take it home" and it'll be okay.

i take issue with being called a reasonable adult

anyone who knows me would totally disagree with that

 

[CurlyNight]

i'll put it like this with a personal anecdote

my wife has trouble making plans. the act of making plans causes her tremendous anxiety. how can she make plans when she has so many other things to take care of instead? how can she take care of these other things if she's busy doing something else? but which task to tackle first in order to be able to comfortably make plans? there's no way to prioritize because there are so many.. there are so many because there are too many.. tackling one, means ignoring another... and now she's totally overwhelmed by anxiety... and cannot function.

so she shuts down and needs to "rest" her mind. which results in her spending time thinking about how she can prioritize these insurmountable tasks, so that she can comfortably make plans to do something she enjoys... which leaves her feeling like she can never, ever escape this sense of failure she has for never being able to take care of...... life's daily tasks/chores/grind.

i've, stupidly, tried to help with plans/decision making when she expresses concern about inability to prioritize urgent tasks. i'm supposed to listen and be supportive.. i know.. but that doesn't lead to her feeling better and accomplishing the task at hand.

so i've tried, in spots, reminding her of tasks she expressed need be done.. that only she can do... .which leads to her saying that i'm telling her what to do.. and nobody tells her what to do.

if i say nothing, and something urgent goes by the board, she gets upset that i didn't tell her in advance.

so either i remind her and/or try to help and get in trouble for "telling her what to do", or i say nothing and get in trouble for not being helpful. 

and if she doesn't say anything to me so that i have no decision to make... she will ignore the task/plan, etc. and feel horrible anxiety, guilt and regret for having not acted.

i know it's all her anxiety reacting and that she's trying to fight it but that's also making it worse. she knows she's not in control of her mind, that it's making things worse and she feels terrible about it but she has not found an effective way to cope/fight it/understand it... and i've yet to find a way to help/do better from my end.

It's rough. Your situation is basically a can't win. Is she on meds? If so maybe they aren't working anymore and should be reevaluated by a psychiatrist. 

 

[mr. furley]

As a former caregiver to my cousin, the key was to be supportive and not to try and play couch psychologist. There are different types of anxiety and for many it's not easy to maintain or even get through. Fam drove my cousin out with their ignorance to the psych ward. 

i hear this a lot "you just have to listen and be supportive".

there's... not a limit isn't the right way to put it... but i feel like there's only so much assistance one can provide by "listening". there has to be action taken at some point. probably what action is best left to the professionals.

from my personal life, my family went through years and years of battling with mental illness and one person "needing to be heard and supported".  the listening and support became all consuming. it became the ONLY thing. everyone had to "listen and support" this individual who had absolutely no ability to manage on a "normal" level. "listening to" became being controlled and dictated to by a monster... and "supporting" became "a free pass for any behavior".

thankfully, at least it seems, after decades of wildly abhorrent behavior and loss.. therapy taught them some coping techniques, some better ways of dealing with the demons, etc. and lives have settled down but that monster is consistently lurking. no amount of family/friend help, support or assistance (and it was bottomless for decades) was ever going to be enough. it took professionals to even scratch the surface.

 

[CurlyNight]

i hear this a lot "you just have to listen and be supportive".

there's... not a limit isn't the right way to put it... but i feel like there's only so much assistance one can provide by "listening". there has to be action taken at some point. probably what action is best left to the professionals.

from my personal life, my family went through years and years of battling with mental illness and one person "needing to be heard and supported".  the listening and support became all consuming. it became the ONLY thing. everyone had to "listen and support" this individual who had absolutely no ability to manage on a "normal" level. "listening to" became being controlled and dictated to by a monster... and "supporting" became "a free pass for any behavior".

thankfully, at least it seems, after decades of wildly abhorrent behavior and loss.. therapy taught them some coping techniques, some better ways of dealing with the demons, etc. and lives have settled down but that monster is consistently lurking. no amount of family/friend help, support or assistance (and it was bottomless for decades) was ever going to be enough. it took professionals to even scratch the surface.

Agree. What I meant is not to be asses like my fam with their know it all think positive words basically telling her she's blowing things out of proportion. What I did was take her in and be there. I let her crash one time early on that sent her back to the psych ward. Big mistake. Once in you're more likely to go back. And the ward is the worst. 

Without the right meds and a good psychiatrist and therapist as she needs imo a good cognitive behavioral therapist, I don't see things getting better for you all.

Ps: this is my mom's side, dad side is riddled with various mi so I get it.

 

[mr. furley]

It's rough. Your situation is basically a can't win. Is she on meds? If so maybe they aren't working anymore and should be reevaluated by a psychiatrist. 

was on meds. was seeing a therapist.

meds were a mess.. just... bad. for a number of reasons. and she has seen various therapists over the years but never stuck with it. she remembers some of the words & lessons but has a hard time sticking with them because........... anxiety.

 

[mr. furley]

I let her crash one time early on that sent her back to the psych ward. Big mistake. Once in you're more likely to go back. And the ward is the worst. 

Without the right meds and a good psychiatrist and therapist as she needs imo a good cognitive behavioral therapist, I don't see things getting better for you all.

you're not wrong

i had to make the decision to part ways my family member that was causing the problems. couldn't take it any longer. it's exhausting and painful, especially when there's nothing you can do but hope you don't get killed.

 

[NewlyRetired]

I have large swings.  For a great deal of my life my anxiety is almost zero.  I live as much of a stress free life as possible.  It was one of the driving reasons for retiring early

But if and when I have to enter any sort of social situation (say like a party), everything changes.  I get a feeling of dred that I can't shake for days leading up to the event.

It has gotten worse as I have aged.  I mostly try to make up some excuses to skip on as much as I can but it is getting noticeable. 

 

[CurlyNight]

was on meds. was seeing a therapist.

meds were a mess.. just... bad. for a number of reasons. and she has seen various therapists over the years but never stuck with it. she remembers some of the words & lessons but has a hard time sticking with them because........... anxiety.

Meds are a mess until you get the right one(s). She has to want to help herself and understand it takes a long time. Then it becomes daily maintenance for life as mi is a disease, chronic in your wife's case. I'd talk to her again about seeking help and if she declines, not sure what you can do. 

Also, make sure you are taking care of yourself. 

 

[The Gator]

But if and when I have to enter any sort of social situation (say like a party), everything changes.  I get a feeling of dred that I can't shake for days leading up to the event.

Is it the build up or actually being at the party? Both? Is it awful once you're there? 

asking because I used to deal with a bit of this regarding coaching soccer. LOVED the games, but was very stressed out anxious in the build up prior.  

 

[NewlyRetired]

Is it the build up or actually being at the party? Both? Is it awful once you're there? 

I think it is both.

I can't do small talk.  I don't enjoy most adult conversations.  I survived most family parties by staying with the children and talking sports, Marvel, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

I hide it fairly well so it is not like I am sweating while there but the moment my car is in reverse to leave, I feel a great weight come off my chest.