Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Any word?
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.
Woke in the middle of the night to find a stranger in my apt (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter drpill
- Start date
piratemike
HARRRRRLite™
This needs to happen.
Jewell
Footballguy
Since those original awesome messages I received from the legendary Schellenberg, I've now received the following three equally as awesome messages from Stoner Claus. Once again, these are 100% real:Mike Schellenberg September 28 at 6:48pm
Lol. Thanks.
Ya I'm over it and it definitely seems like my neighbor's cool.
I read through the rest of the posts later on and they ended up being really funny.
Mike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:41pm
I've tried twice now to register on the forum as Stoner Claus, but it seems the admins are deleting my accounts. I guess they don't like the word stoner. So I'm not sure what I can do to join in the fun.
Mike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:48pm
also the Mike Schellenberg account on there isn't me. So I'm not allowed to join, but somebody else is allowed to join in my name.
We clearly need to start a campaign for a Stoner Claus name exemption. Either that or the bogus Schellenberg needs to relinquish the name rights. Preferrably the former.TheAristocrat
Footballguy
Let him be Stoner Claus!
pats3in4
Footballguy
Sic the mods on the name thief: Mike Schellenberg FanMike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:48pm
also the Mike Schellenberg account on there isn't me. So I'm not allowed to join, but somebody else is allowed to join in my name.
We clearly need to start a campaign for a Stoner Claus name exemption. Either that or the bogus Schellenberg needs to relinquish the name rights. Preferrably the former.
Mr. Yuk
Footballguy
Sic the mods on the name thief: Mike Schellenberg FanMike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:48pm
also the Mike Schellenberg account on there isn't me. So I'm not allowed to join, but somebody else is allowed to join in my name.
We clearly need to start a campaign for a Stoner Claus name exemption. Either that or the bogus Schellenberg needs to relinquish the name rights. Preferrably the former.
Harry Manback
Footballguy
That deserves a perfect posting.Sic the mods on the name thief: Mike Schellenberg FanMike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:48pm
also the Mike Schellenberg account on there isn't me. So I'm not allowed to join, but somebody else is allowed to join in my name.
piratemike
HARRRRRLite™
I can see it now: Mike Schellenberg and Mike Schellenberg Fan, posting together, in the same thread AT THE SAME TIME. It's a thing of beauty, people.Please won't you let us have this FFA Gods? Please?That deserves a perfect posting.Sic the mods on the name thief: Mike Schellenberg FanMike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:48pm
also the Mike Schellenberg account on there isn't me. So I'm not allowed to join, but somebody else is allowed to join in my name.
Das Boot
Footballguy
Try Stone R ClausIt might fly.Since those original awesome messages I received from the legendary Schellenberg, I've now received the following three equally as awesome messages from Stoner Claus. Once again, these are 100% real:Mike Schellenberg September 28 at 6:48pm
Lol. Thanks.
Ya I'm over it and it definitely seems like my neighbor's cool.
I read through the rest of the posts later on and they ended up being really funny.
Mike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:41pm
I've tried twice now to register on the forum as Stoner Claus, but it seems the admins are deleting my accounts. I guess they don't like the word stoner. So I'm not sure what I can do to join in the fun.
Mike Schellenberg September 30 at 5:48pm
also the Mike Schellenberg account on there isn't me. So I'm not allowed to join, but somebody else is allowed to join in my name.
Mike Schellenberg
Footballguy
Hey stoner claus,
You can have this account if you want it. I thought this had potential for good shtick but if you really want this, it's all yours.
Shoot me an email:
wrongapartmenet@gmail.com (yes, I typo'd the email addy. sue me. at least I know which door is mine.)
You can have this account if you want it. I thought this had potential for good shtick but if you really want this, it's all yours.
Shoot me an email:
wrongapartmenet@gmail.com (yes, I typo'd the email addy. sue me. at least I know which door is mine.)
top dog
Footballguy
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
Mike Schellenberg
Footballguy
Mike has contacted me. This will be the last post from the FAKE Mike Schellenberg. Handing over the keys now. Mike: Welcome, guy.Mike Schellenberg said:
piratemike
HARRRRRLite™
Mike Schellenberg
Footballguy
Toke Toke Toke, Merry Chronicas!
It's me the real Mike. And now I have to run, but I will be back.
Thanks for giving me the account.
It's me the real Mike. And now I have to run, but I will be back.
Thanks for giving me the account.
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
AhrnCityPahnder
Yinz-o-riffic
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
:cocksgun:
PewterFan
Footballguy
bakes
I am the Beer God!
I can't stop laughing at this.
There has to be a Bigbottom-esque "Stoner Claus is coming to town" parody here somewhere...
Bamboo Bill
Footballguy
Started reading this one on Page 1, then went to Page 5. NEVER saw this jump coming. Freaking cool as hell.Back to read the middle of the book...
awesome
bakes
I am the Beer God!
Last edited by a moderator:
Das Boot
Footballguy
ericttspikes
Footballguy
This is one of the best threads I've read on here. You guys should go halfsies on a Volcano. Pill's got some killer music.....
Jewell
Footballguy
Let the record reflect that I wasn't for shooting you either. I was, however, for duct taping you and leaving you outside. Welcome aboard.Welcome Mike
Anonymous Internet User
Footballguy
is Boner Claus taken?
AhrnCityPahnder
Yinz-o-riffic
Tufnel registerd "Boner Claws" back in '05 but I think you're good on this one.
krista4
Footballguy
PIK95
Footballguy
You know, you could be right. His incoherent mumbling would make a lot more sense in that light.I bet him or his friends live in your building. He was probably just wasted and climbed in the wrong balcony. I bet alot of us have done that in college. I went in the wrong house once and know guys who woke up in a strange house.I'll look into it.
Aerial Assault
Footballguy
I so want to see Mike's reactions to the Innerweb keyboard warriors who would have filled him with lead within seconds, etc. Come on, Mike! Don't let me down.
P.S., could use a lil clarification on the mysterious "flashlight element" of the story. TIA.
P.S., could use a lil clarification on the mysterious "flashlight element" of the story. TIA.
Random
Footballguy
Care to tell us what kind of shoes you wear? Drpill can verify.
Foosball God
Foos
I'm waiting for drunk/high Mike to come busting into this thread in the middle of the night and Joe Bryant shooting him with the thread gun.
Harry Manback
Footballguy
This is a good call, sorry Mike, but we are suspicious people.But I approve of your pothead shtick..
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Welcome !!!OK, tell us everything from your point of view. What you can remember, at least.
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Mike Schellenberg
Footballguy
Alrighty. I have a few minutes before heading off to school.
First of all I wear Newbalance. Since I definitely didn't have a flashlight, it must have been my cell phone, which I often use for light when I can't see. I know that it's a pretty common thing to do.
That night I went to a wedding social with $2.50 drinks. There's nothing worse than cheap drinks that you can rationalize over-consuming as helping out friends with their new life together. I don't remember the trip home, but I remember my friend gave me a ride so that I wouldn't need to sleep in my car, hence the mumbling about my friends. My drunk brain connected how did you get in here with how did you get home I guess.
I don't think I realized it wasn't my apartment and had probably used the key in the door without realizing it had been left unlocked, so I guess I connected my key opening a door with the door belonging to my home. I can only assume that I was on my way to the bathroom for a piss when I ran into DrPill.
This is the part that I was able to vaguely remember because my first thought was to wonder who was in my apartment, until he started asking me questions and then I realized it was me who was in the wrong apartment. Totally unable to express the thoughts sloshing through my brain and gripped with fear, when he gave up trying to figure out what I was doing and kicked me out, I took off down the stairs and out of the building because I thought he was chasing me. I ran and hid in the grass, laying down and collecting my thoughts.
After a while I realized he wasn't chasing me and I was probably safe to go back in, making sure this time to go into the right apartment. Never during this time did I realize that I didn't have my shoes or glasses, or the weed, and went right to bed, where what had happened promptly disappeared from my memory.
I woke up to find that my glasses were missing, and panicked a bit, trying to remember why they were gone. I vaguely remembered lying outside in the grass, so I went to put on my shoes and check outside to see if I found them. There were no shoes, and this is when the nagging memory that someone had been yelling at me the night before suddenly made sense and I was able to remember enough to assume it was my neighbors apartment.
I decided to check outside for my glasses and shoes first before knocking on his door in shame. He had kindly written on the white board at the building entrance that Mike Schellenberg should call this number to get my stuff back. I wasn't sure how he had my name, but I figured he had recognized me.
Anyways I called, and that was when I found out I had also left pot, oops. So I got my stuff back and he was really cool about it, which was a relief, although I still felt like an idiot.
Being hung over all day I only went on Facebook the next day, to find a message linking me to this page. And the rest they say is history.
And now I need to get ready for school or I'll be late. But I think this I've proven myself.
In the end I'm glad that my blunders have been able to bring cheer to so many people.
First of all I wear Newbalance. Since I definitely didn't have a flashlight, it must have been my cell phone, which I often use for light when I can't see. I know that it's a pretty common thing to do.
That night I went to a wedding social with $2.50 drinks. There's nothing worse than cheap drinks that you can rationalize over-consuming as helping out friends with their new life together. I don't remember the trip home, but I remember my friend gave me a ride so that I wouldn't need to sleep in my car, hence the mumbling about my friends. My drunk brain connected how did you get in here with how did you get home I guess.
I don't think I realized it wasn't my apartment and had probably used the key in the door without realizing it had been left unlocked, so I guess I connected my key opening a door with the door belonging to my home. I can only assume that I was on my way to the bathroom for a piss when I ran into DrPill.
This is the part that I was able to vaguely remember because my first thought was to wonder who was in my apartment, until he started asking me questions and then I realized it was me who was in the wrong apartment. Totally unable to express the thoughts sloshing through my brain and gripped with fear, when he gave up trying to figure out what I was doing and kicked me out, I took off down the stairs and out of the building because I thought he was chasing me. I ran and hid in the grass, laying down and collecting my thoughts.
After a while I realized he wasn't chasing me and I was probably safe to go back in, making sure this time to go into the right apartment. Never during this time did I realize that I didn't have my shoes or glasses, or the weed, and went right to bed, where what had happened promptly disappeared from my memory.
I woke up to find that my glasses were missing, and panicked a bit, trying to remember why they were gone. I vaguely remembered lying outside in the grass, so I went to put on my shoes and check outside to see if I found them. There were no shoes, and this is when the nagging memory that someone had been yelling at me the night before suddenly made sense and I was able to remember enough to assume it was my neighbors apartment.
I decided to check outside for my glasses and shoes first before knocking on his door in shame. He had kindly written on the white board at the building entrance that Mike Schellenberg should call this number to get my stuff back. I wasn't sure how he had my name, but I figured he had recognized me.
Anyways I called, and that was when I found out I had also left pot, oops. So I got my stuff back and he was really cool about it, which was a relief, although I still felt like an idiot.
Being hung over all day I only went on Facebook the next day, to find a message linking me to this page. And the rest they say is history.
And now I need to get ready for school or I'll be late. But I think this I've proven myself.
In the end I'm glad that my blunders have been able to bring cheer to so many people.
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Harry Manback
Footballguy
This is an awesome, epic moment of Real Life and iLife colliding in a great, hilarious way.
E-Z Glider
Footballguy
somehow the picture makes this all even more hilarious
