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Woke in the middle of the night to find a stranger in my apt (3 Viewers)

Alrighty. I have a few minutes before heading off to school.First of all I wear Newbalance. Since I definitely didn't have a flashlight, it must have been my cell phone, which I often use for light when I can't see. I know that it's a pretty common thing to do.That night I went to a wedding social with $2.50 drinks. There's nothing worse than cheap drinks that you can rationalize over-consuming as helping out friends with their new life together.
I stopped reading here. Seek help man.
 
:bow:

I'm sorry you had to hide in the grass, Mike. Moral of this story for me: lock your doors, and learn the names of the people who live ten feet away from you.

 
I woke up to find that my glasses were missing, and panicked a bit, trying to remember why they were gone. I vaguely remembered lying outside in the grass, so I went to put on my shoes and check outside to see if I found them. There were no shoes,
I bring all my shoes and my glasses with me... so I have them.
 
That night I went to a wedding social with $2.50 drinks.

In the end I'm glad that my blunders have been able to bring cheer to so many people.
Good story :goodposting: Someone from Winnipeg should explain wedding socials. Strangeness in Canada.
I'm not originally from here, so it was weird to me too. But this guy explains it pretty well: http://ryanschultz.typepad.com/blog/2005/0...ing_social.html

Wedding social??

A local tradition that I've been told came originally from Manitoba's large Polish/Ukrainian immigrant community, a social is when the friends and family of a to-be-married couple (or a sports team, or a Ukrainian dance troupe, or a singles group or whatever like-mided group of people) rent a hall (often in a community centre, a curling club, or a church basement) and throw a rave ;-)

O.K., it's not exactly a rave. They rent a social hall for 100-300 people (most Catholic chruch basements/bingo halls or community clubs will accommodate) , where they hire a D.J. to spin CDs or records, get a one-night-only liquor license from the provincial government, and throw a party (or, to be more accurate, a thrown-together one-night-only bar) as a fund-raiser. Around midnight, a bread-and-cold-cuts buffet is put out (food must be served as one of the conditions of the liquor licence).

The really popular socials (usually Filipino, Italian, Ukrainian, and French-Canadian weddings) can sell out quickly... Winnipeg has a large Filipino population (mostly more recent immigrants) and fully 1/4 of the city has a Ukrainian background (mostly from the big immigration boom of the 1910's). Winnipeg is also home to the largest French-Canadian community in Western Canada. And we're also the largest Icelandic community outside of Iceland. Like I said, a real mix of people.

People sell social tickets ahead of time to their coworkers, friends and relatives, and whoever else wants to go out dancing and drinking on a Friday or Saturday night. You can often get a really bizarre/interesting mix of people you know (uncles and cousins and aunts) and complete strangers who heard about the social second- or even third-hand and buy tickets at the door, if there are any left (shhhhh... the government's not supposed to know that you're selling social tickets at the door, that's not allowed... but come back out into the parking lot and we can do business).
 
Alrighty. I have a few minutes before heading off to school.First of all I wear Newbalance. Since I definitely didn't have a flashlight, it must have been my cell phone, which I often use for light when I can't see. I know that it's a pretty common thing to do.That night I went to a wedding social with $2.50 drinks. There's nothing worse than cheap drinks that you can rationalize over-consuming as helping out friends with their new life together. I don't remember the trip home, but I remember my friend gave me a ride so that I wouldn't need to sleep in my car, hence the mumbling about my friends. My drunk brain connected how did you get in here with how did you get home I guess. I don't think I realized it wasn't my apartment and had probably used the key in the door without realizing it had been left unlocked, so I guess I connected my key opening a door with the door belonging to my home. I can only assume that I was on my way to the bathroom for a piss when I ran into DrPill. This is the part that I was able to vaguely remember because my first thought was to wonder who was in my apartment, until he started asking me questions and then I realized it was me who was in the wrong apartment. Totally unable to express the thoughts sloshing through my brain and gripped with fear, when he gave up trying to figure out what I was doing and kicked me out, I took off down the stairs and out of the building because I thought he was chasing me. I ran and hid in the grass, laying down and collecting my thoughts. After a while I realized he wasn't chasing me and I was probably safe to go back in, making sure this time to go into the right apartment. Never during this time did I realize that I didn't have my shoes or glasses, or the weed, and went right to bed, where what had happened promptly disappeared from my memory.I woke up to find that my glasses were missing, and panicked a bit, trying to remember why they were gone. I vaguely remembered lying outside in the grass, so I went to put on my shoes and check outside to see if I found them. There were no shoes, and this is when the nagging memory that someone had been yelling at me the night before suddenly made sense and I was able to remember enough to assume it was my neighbors apartment.I decided to check outside for my glasses and shoes first before knocking on his door in shame. He had kindly written on the white board at the building entrance that Mike Schellenberg should call this number to get my stuff back. I wasn't sure how he had my name, but I figured he had recognized me. Anyways I called, and that was when I found out I had also left pot, oops. So I got my stuff back and he was really cool about it, which was a relief, although I still felt like an idiot. Being hung over all day I only went on Facebook the next day, to find a message linking me to this page. And the rest they say is history.And now I need to get ready for school or I'll be late. But I think this I've proven myself.In the end I'm glad that my blunders have been able to bring cheer to so many people.
Good story! :hophead:Stick around here a while. It's a fun message board.
:football: :football: This keeps getting better.
 
(blows out) this remind of my friend names leon whiskers. leon was a cat. and yes, that is right, I say was. so leon whisker live on teh streets. he have no real home, he have no real family. Just alotta people of the neighborhood that give him love and give him many pets on he head (awww). there was one lady who really like leon and feed him milk every day. Her name was Mrs. Merfs. That's right again, i say was. She whistle every morning and hope that leon make it through the night. Maybe he get into a fight with a group of wild cat that live in teh gutter. maybe he steal a cheese from a rat and teh rat bite him. Or maybe even worse, he get stuck in honey in the garbage and they throw him in that truck and crush him. She could only pray every morning that he is still alive.

So mrs merfs say her whistles and like a clock works, here come leon. mrs Merfs smile, she put a bowl nice milk on teh floor and give him pets on he head. he make a purrs noise and mrs merfs probly couldn't be happier. her baby from the street has make it through another night and now he getting he milk. If you are a old lady that is pretty much one of teh best thing in teh world. it is like they need each other and together they is happy.

So one day me and huerta is watchin america gladaters and we hear a big commotion down the street. it is mrs merfs and they is takin her away in a ambulance. I walk over to see what I could do. Maybe i could help by takin her snuggie to teh hosptial or somethin, I dont know but i feel bad if I just sit there. So I see a fireman who was there and I ask him. "hey what happened? does you knews what happens to mrs merfs?" and he look at me and make a sad face and says "i sorry, but that lady is dead." wow. we is in shock. She had always lived there as far as i could remember and something like this had never happened before. Huerta take it pretty hard because i guess when he was little mrs merfs gave him mounds one time for hallaweens and that is he favorite. I give huerta a pat on the head and tell him that we should get mounds to celebrate she life. It would be a nice gesture and on top of that we was pretty hungry anyway. So we both had a piece of mounds and had a good laugh and cry about mrs merfs. It was just like a irished wake ecpet instead of beer and whiskies, we have choclate and cockonuts.

So a few week go by and there is a lotta hustle and bustles at teh Merf house. They was gonna sell it, so they is fixin it all up. They put a new mailbox on. They trim she grass and plant a flowers. And they paint the house a new color....white. (chills) So again Huerta and me is watchin TV, I think it was like no whammies...yes it was. Huerta was jumpin around all excited because one of them contestants was winning alotta money and kept just JUST missin teh whammies. He was jumping near the window and something catch he eye and he get all quiet. (whispers) "hey studs, did you leave you a stuff animal out on teh grass?" I think for a second and i say no because i think teh last time I use it I put it right away. So i look and it isn't a stuff animal. It is Leon. And he is one of two thing. He is a sleep. Or (blows out) he is dead.

Well, if you are a good detective you probly have already figure out that Leon was not asleep. We go over to him and check for he pulse. Nothing is there. Then we notice soemthing that would stay in our head for teh rest of a life. Leon mouth is all white. why is it white? Is it like he spit is dried? Was he tryin to disguise heself to get away from trouble? No. It take us a few hour to figure out but he mouth was white because he eats paint. The people cleaning and painting the Merf house had left a bucket of paint out in teh back where Mrs merfs used to feed Leon. also, that day there was a special train in teh neighborhood that whistle all morning. huerta and i agree that Leon probly hears that train whistle and think mrs merfs is back and wants to give him he morning milk and some pets. The odds of all them things happening at once is atronautical.

About a year to teh day later Huerta and I was watchin TV, I think it was jeffersons. And when weezie was cookin something, the pot she uses make a whistle and me and heurta kind of look at each other and smile. I think both of us was thinkin about mrs Merfs and leon and that they is probaly in heaven, with mrs. Merf pettin leon while he drinkin he milk. and maybe leon finally live with her because it is heaven and in heaven cats arent homeless (life is much easier for people and animal). The only thing that would have made that moment when weezie pot whistle better for me and huerta was if we coulda splita Mounds. but life aint perfect. Leon is proof of that.

stuqs

p and s...hey mike are u related to that guy names steven schiellberg

 
(blows out) this remind of my friend names leon whiskers. leon was a cat. and yes, that is right, I say was. so leon whisker live on teh streets. he have no real home, he have no real family. Just alotta people of the neighborhood that give him love and give him many pets on he head (awww). there was one lady who really like leon and feed him milk every day. Her name was Mrs. Merfs. That's right again, i say was. She whistle every morning and hope that leon make it through the night. Maybe he get into a fight with a group of wild cat that live in teh gutter. maybe he steal a cheese from a rat and teh rat bite him. Or maybe even worse, he get stuck in honey in the garbage and they throw him in that truck and crush him. She could only pray every morning that he is still alive.So mrs merfs say her whistles and like a clock works, here come leon. mrs Merfs smile, she put a bowl nice milk on teh floor and give him pets on he head. he make a purrs noise and mrs merfs probly couldn't be happier. her baby from the street has make it through another night and now he getting he milk. If you are a old lady that is pretty much one of teh best thing in teh world. it is like they need each other and together they is happy.So one day me and huerta is watchin america gladaters and we hear a big commotion down the street. it is mrs merfs and they is takin her away in a ambulance. I walk over to see what I could do. Maybe i could help by takin her snuggie to teh hosptial or somethin, I dont know but i feel bad if I just sit there. So I see a fireman who was there and I ask him. "hey what happened? does you knews what happens to mrs merfs?" and he look at me and make a sad face and says "i sorry, but that lady is dead." wow. we is in shock. She had always lived there as far as i could remember and something like this had never happened before. Huerta take it pretty hard because i guess when he was little mrs merfs gave him mounds one time for hallaweens and that is he favorite. I give huerta a pat on the head and tell him that we should get mounds to celebrate she life. It would be a nice gesture and on top of that we was pretty hungry anyway. So we both had a piece of mounds and had a good laugh and cry about mrs merfs. It was just like a irished wake ecpet instead of beer and whiskies, we have choclate and cockonuts.So a few week go by and there is a lotta hustle and bustles at teh Merf house. They was gonna sell it, so they is fixin it all up. They put a new mailbox on. They trim she grass and plant a flowers. And they paint the house a new color....white. (chills) So again Huerta and me is watchin TV, I think it was like no whammies...yes it was. Huerta was jumpin around all excited because one of them contestants was winning alotta money and kept just JUST missin teh whammies. He was jumping near the window and something catch he eye and he get all quiet. (whispers) "hey studs, did you leave you a stuff animal out on teh grass?" I think for a second and i say no because i think teh last time I use it I put it right away. So i look and it isn't a stuff animal. It is Leon. And he is one of two thing. He is a sleep. Or (blows out) he is dead.Well, if you are a good detective you probly have already figure out that Leon was not asleep. We go over to him and check for he pulse. Nothing is there. Then we notice soemthing that would stay in our head for teh rest of a life. Leon mouth is all white. why is it white? Is it like he spit is dried? Was he tryin to disguise heself to get away from trouble? No. It take us a few hour to figure out but he mouth was white because he eats paint. The people cleaning and painting the Merf house had left a bucket of paint out in teh back where Mrs merfs used to feed Leon. also, that day there was a special train in teh neighborhood that whistle all morning. huerta and i agree that Leon probly hears that train whistle and think mrs merfs is back and wants to give him he morning milk and some pets. The odds of all them things happening at once is atronautical.About a year to teh day later Huerta and I was watchin TV, I think it was jeffersons. And when weezie was cookin something, the pot she uses make a whistle and me and heurta kind of look at each other and smile. I think both of us was thinkin about mrs Merfs and leon and that they is probaly in heaven, with mrs. Merf pettin leon while he drinkin he milk. and maybe leon finally live with her because it is heaven and in heaven cats arent homeless (life is much easier for people and animal). The only thing that would have made that moment when weezie pot whistle better for me and huerta was if we coulda splita Mounds. but life aint perfect. Leon is proof of that.stuqsp and s...hey mike are u related to that guy names steven schiellberg
God Bless you for this, Mike Schellenberg.
 
(blows out) this remind of my friend names leon whiskers. leon was a cat. and yes, that is right, I say was. so leon whisker live on teh streets. he have no real home, he have no real family. Just alotta people of the neighborhood that give him love and give him many pets on he head (awww). there was one lady who really like leon and feed him milk every day. Her name was Mrs. Merfs. That's right again, i say was. She whistle every morning and hope that leon make it through the night. Maybe he get into a fight with a group of wild cat that live in teh gutter. maybe he steal a cheese from a rat and teh rat bite him. Or maybe even worse, he get stuck in honey in the garbage and they throw him in that truck and crush him. She could only pray every morning that he is still alive.So mrs merfs say her whistles and like a clock works, here come leon. mrs Merfs smile, she put a bowl nice milk on teh floor and give him pets on he head. he make a purrs noise and mrs merfs probly couldn't be happier. her baby from the street has make it through another night and now he getting he milk. If you are a old lady that is pretty much one of teh best thing in teh world. it is like they need each other and together they is happy.So one day me and huerta is watchin america gladaters and we hear a big commotion down the street. it is mrs merfs and they is takin her away in a ambulance. I walk over to see what I could do. Maybe i could help by takin her snuggie to teh hosptial or somethin, I dont know but i feel bad if I just sit there. So I see a fireman who was there and I ask him. "hey what happened? does you knews what happens to mrs merfs?" and he look at me and make a sad face and says "i sorry, but that lady is dead." wow. we is in shock. She had always lived there as far as i could remember and something like this had never happened before. Huerta take it pretty hard because i guess when he was little mrs merfs gave him mounds one time for hallaweens and that is he favorite. I give huerta a pat on the head and tell him that we should get mounds to celebrate she life. It would be a nice gesture and on top of that we was pretty hungry anyway. So we both had a piece of mounds and had a good laugh and cry about mrs merfs. It was just like a irished wake ecpet instead of beer and whiskies, we have choclate and cockonuts.So a few week go by and there is a lotta hustle and bustles at teh Merf house. They was gonna sell it, so they is fixin it all up. They put a new mailbox on. They trim she grass and plant a flowers. And they paint the house a new color....white. (chills) So again Huerta and me is watchin TV, I think it was like no whammies...yes it was. Huerta was jumpin around all excited because one of them contestants was winning alotta money and kept just JUST missin teh whammies. He was jumping near the window and something catch he eye and he get all quiet. (whispers) "hey studs, did you leave you a stuff animal out on teh grass?" I think for a second and i say no because i think teh last time I use it I put it right away. So i look and it isn't a stuff animal. It is Leon. And he is one of two thing. He is a sleep. Or (blows out) he is dead.Well, if you are a good detective you probly have already figure out that Leon was not asleep. We go over to him and check for he pulse. Nothing is there. Then we notice soemthing that would stay in our head for teh rest of a life. Leon mouth is all white. why is it white? Is it like he spit is dried? Was he tryin to disguise heself to get away from trouble? No. It take us a few hour to figure out but he mouth was white because he eats paint. The people cleaning and painting the Merf house had left a bucket of paint out in teh back where Mrs merfs used to feed Leon. also, that day there was a special train in teh neighborhood that whistle all morning. huerta and i agree that Leon probly hears that train whistle and think mrs merfs is back and wants to give him he morning milk and some pets. The odds of all them things happening at once is atronautical.About a year to teh day later Huerta and I was watchin TV, I think it was jeffersons. And when weezie was cookin something, the pot she uses make a whistle and me and heurta kind of look at each other and smile. I think both of us was thinkin about mrs Merfs and leon and that they is probaly in heaven, with mrs. Merf pettin leon while he drinkin he milk. and maybe leon finally live with her because it is heaven and in heaven cats arent homeless (life is much easier for people and animal). The only thing that would have made that moment when weezie pot whistle better for me and huerta was if we coulda splita Mounds. but life aint perfect. Leon is proof of that.stuqsp and s...hey mike are u related to that guy names steven schiellberg
:mellow: :lmao:
 

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