What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (2 Viewers)

I'm not going to mark it as officially complete just yet, but I'd estimate woo levels to be hovering around 95-97% :thumbup:  

I don't know how much I will update from here on out, but we'll leave the thread open, at least for now.  

And again, thank you sincerely for everyone who stopped in here to give me ####, offer advice, one-liners, encouragement and attaboys. It's been fun. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
I'm not going to mark it as officially complete just yet, but I'd estimate woo levels to be hovering around 95-97% :thumbup:  

I don't know how much I will update from here on out, but we'll leave the thread open, at least for now.  

And again, thank you sincerely for everyone who stopped in here to give me ####, offer advice, one-liners, encouragement and attaboys. It's been fun. 
Click to expand...
BS!  You better post updates as you round the bases jackass.

 
when you do finally woo her to completion,  make sure you do it in the freakiest, nastiest, sluttiest, most degrading way possible.  That way you have a baseline from which to refer back to in the following years of marital banging.

 
tommyboy said:
when you do finally woo her to completion,  make sure you do it in the freakiest, nastiest, sluttiest, most degrading way possible.  That way you have a baseline from which to refer back to in the following years of marital banging.
Click to expand...
Hmmm...I woo'd in a relatively nice, loving manner BM compared to the AM married 20+ year freak-fest wooing that goes on these days. 

 
Glad things worked out for you, Colonel.  Saved me from writing this kind of post:

Don't call me son. I'm a lawyer, and an officer of the United States Navy. And you just got friend-zoned you sonofa#####.

The witness is excused.

 
Ok, so we know you probably won't give us Arizona Ron type details, but can we agree on a couple of terms just to, you know, give us a general idea? Since this is a football board, for the most part, how about these:

1. Boob touch = I gripped the football on the seams.

2. Nudity = I was in the locker room with my team.

3. Heavy petting = My hands were under center the whole time.

4. Just the tip = I threw a swing pass for short yardage.

5. Full on action = I returned the kickoff for a touchdown and the crowd went wild.

 
brolonol at 95 to 97 percentolas using the process of math there are still between five and three woo points that you need to get and me i am not one to quit before the job is done see in swc land when we say getrdunson we mean getrallthewaydunson and that is just how it is round here none of this millenial well i tried hard to woo her so give me a trophy junk so you can say you wooed here when you have fully one hundred percento wooed her take that to the bank brochacho 

 
This thread is over.  Now you are just going to start living my life.  Have fun with the extra kids to car pool and Marisa yelling at you about the toilet seat.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
I'm not going to mark it as officially complete just yet, but I'd estimate woo levels to be hovering around 95-97% :thumbup:  

I don't know how much I will update from here on out, but we'll leave the thread open, at least for now.  

And again, thank you sincerely for everyone who stopped in here to give me ####, offer advice, one-liners, encouragement and attaboys. It's been fun. 
Click to expand...
Meh....you are right that we no longer need the play by play...she has been successfully "woo-d"

It would be nice to hear occasional brief updates...had first sleepover, wedding plans, etc.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
I'm not going to mark it as officially complete just yet, but I'd estimate woo levels to be hovering around 95-97% :thumbup:  

I don't know how much I will update from here on out, but we'll leave the thread open, at least for now.  

And again, thank you sincerely for everyone who stopped in here to give me ####, offer advice, one-liners, encouragement and attaboys. It's been fun. 
Click to expand...
:confused:

We're still expecting daily updates from your personal life until you two get married. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
I'm not going to mark it as officially complete just yet, but I'd estimate woo levels to be hovering around 95-97% :thumbup:  

I don't know how much I will update from here on out, but we'll leave the thread open, at least for now.  

And again, thank you sincerely for everyone who stopped in here to give me ####, offer advice, one-liners, encouragement and attaboys. It's been fun. 
Click to expand...
YesssssssssssS!

NoooooooooooO! Must keep updating!

 
Last edited by a moderator:
What if our hero does all this exquisite, deliberate wooing, starts dating Marisa but never actually gets to "get with" the beautiful Marisa before they break up over something stupid?  He'd have spent all this time wooing and ended up with nothing but a pissed off, hot neighbor that he never even banged.

No offense, but I'm actually kinda rooting for this now.   :stirspot:

 
Dude - this is like Firefly or Freaks and Geeks getting cancelled after the first season.  Don't be a vision-less network suit - keep the show going!

 
James Daulton said:
What if our hero does all this exquisite, deliberate wooing, starts dating Marisa but never actually gets to "get with" the beautiful Marisa before they break up over something stupid?  He'd have spent all this time wooing and ended up with nothing but a pissed off, hot neighbor that he never even banged.

No offense, but I'm actually kinda rooting for this now.   :stirspot:
Click to expand...
Well, then...I guess we've all been "wooed"...

 
You can't quit until you report how you explained your sleepovers to your kids. 

 
Don't blame me if you accidentally call her Marisa in the heat of the moment. GL. Can't wait to come down for the wedding at McClure's.

 
Wow---a 95-97% chance of complete woo success!?!?  That's pretty dang impressive. Congrats to the OP for playing his cards right and being a gentleman.   I have to admit that this tale has also effected me too.    I find myself starting to talk like SWC in real life.  Everybody keeps wondering why I continuously tell them to go to the bank.  With that being said--I do ask that the OP doesn't abandon the updates--I really do find this to be one of the more enjoyable thread/stories in all of these forums.  Thank you for bringing us along for the ride.  

 
If the colonel stops updating and doesn't provide the promised pic, he's like the proverbial guy who finishes and goes to sleep while we are like the frustrated woman who needs to finish herself off.  

 
I'm waiting for the inevitable update from our hero that goes something like "went for my typical run in Saint's hat, tank, and running short this morning when I saw a strange car pulling out of Marissa's driveway.  Probably just a sleepover with one of her girlfriends..."

 
Last edited by a moderator:
jvdesigns2002 said:
Wow---a 95-97% chance of complete woo success!?!?  That's pretty dang impressive. Congrats to the OP for playing his cards right and being a gentleman.   I have to admit that this tale has also effected me too.    I find myself starting to talk like SWC in real life.  Everybody keeps wondering why I continuously tell them to go to the bank.  With that being said--I do ask that the OP doesn't abandon the updates--I really do find this to be one of the more enjoyable thread/stories in all of these forums.  Thank you for bringing us along for the ride.  
Click to expand...
I've begun saying bromigo so many times my wife has threatened to leave me 

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

scorchy
Any banking guys that can offer solutions to a vexing issue?
Replies
31
Views
552
Mrs. Rannous
Mrs. Rannous
DJackson10
How would you solve this Issue? Neighbor keeps dogs off lease and they run around and do their business on other neighbors property.
Replies
38
Views
1K
DJackson10
DJackson10
CletiusMaximus
Setting up a new Windows Laptop for my Daughter
Replies
2
Views
190
Osaurus
Osaurus

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Back
Top