Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (2 Viewers)

[Limp Ditka]

5 page update?.... this guy seal the deal yet?

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

5 page update?.... this guy seal the deal yet?

Nope.  mostly shtick thus far, but hoping the weekend brings an interesting update

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

while I do get this aspect, I also think a trip to the park or something along those lines, also allows a little one-on-one time for us to chit-chat and at the same time gives me a little insight into how she interacts with her own kids (and mine perhaps), which is also an important conisderation

Good lord man, your consonants are miss-locating.  You have twenty four hours to get laid or your balls will permanently retract.  Do something Stat!

 

[JNox3]

Nope.  mostly shtick thus far, but hoping the weekend brings an interesting update

No...no....we said FRIDAY MORNING!!

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Good lord man, your consonants are miss-locating.  You have twenty four hours to get laid or your balls will permanently retract.  Do something Stat!

Oof. As a fellow grammar/spelling Nazi, I humbly apologize for that atrocious misstep, good sir.  As for the 24-hour deadline, I guess I'll just keep on taking cold showers until they elect some gal President.  

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

No...no....we said FRIDAY MORNING!!

Indeed.  By then either he is already familiar with her O face or his balls will have retracted so far that they will have strangled him to death, completely cutting off his airflow.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Oof. As a fellow grammar/spelling Nazi, I humbly apologize for that atrocious misstep, good sir.  As for the 24-hour deadline, I guess I'll just keep on taking cold showers until they elect some gal President.  

Promote them all, I say.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

No...no....we said FRIDAY MORNING!!

Interestingly enough, I haven't seen her in the morning yet during the week. She leaves later than we do, as I have to be at work for 7:30, so we head out earlier. 

 

[Frostillicus]

This thread is once again proof that the FFA is the absolute worst place to come for advice on almost anything.

 

[belljr]

I'm just here for the likes.....

 

[Kanil]

Didn't read the whole thread but as you're reaching out for help here you've got no chance.  Your only hope of sleeping with this lady is to kidnap her child and tell the lady you'll reveal the location AFTER you two hog wrestle.

 

[coyote5]

Trash day.  Tell her you really admire her cans and ask if it would okay if you could look at them when you take your junk out next week.

Wow I've never seen a "popular" flagged post.  Special!

 

[coyote5]

It was an awful suggestion.

 

[Limp Ditka]

This thread is once again proof that the FFA is the absolute worst place to come for advice on almost anything.

your face is the absolute worst place for everything but a fist

 

[Gustavo Fring]

Buy some extacy pills for you and her to consume one night.  Get out your finest bottle of tequila and a knife from the kitchen.  Rip a couple shots and show her your gusto by placing your hand on the coffee table and stabbing the table between your fingers.  If all goes well, you will be in her bedroom in no time.  

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

:rescinds  @Gustavo Fring's BBQ invitation: 

 

[offdee]

Interestingly enough, I haven't seen her in the morning yet during the week. She leaves later than we do, as I have to be at work for 7:30, so we head out earlier. 

Before you leave in morning, just leave a set of new gutters at her doorstep for a good morning surprise!

 

[Al O'Pecia]

As I pointed out yesterday, Colonel, you want to make her want you.  Women are deeply intrigued by men who are highly ambitious, good with their hands, but yet mysterious.  Have you considered building a life-size replica of Noah's Ark in your front yard?

If she asks, you can say:  "Yep, building it myself.  Now if I can just find a female to repopulate the planet with...."  [as you shoot her with your finger pistol and wink]

 

[ATC1]

As I pointed out yesterday, Colonel, you want to make her want you.  Women are deeply intrigued by men who are highly ambitious, good with their hands, but yet mysterious.  Have you considered building a life-size replica of Noah's Ark in your front yard?

If she asks, you can say:  "Yep, building it myself.  Now if I can just find a female to repopulate the planet with...."  [as you shoot her with your finger pistol and wink]

This actually is not a bad idea in Louisiana now.   Just say it is for the Cajun Navy Headquaters when #### hits the fan. Or just start calling it, "Our life boat".

 

[belljr]

Knock on her door.

NRJ: Excuse me but do you have any tape?

Her: tape?

NRJ: yeah because I'm ripped,

Then 

:flex:

 

[belljr]

NRJ: do you have a bandaid?

Her: bandaid?

NRJ: yeah, cause I'm cut 

:flex:

 

[bostonfred]

You could try getting to know her before deciding she is the one.  

 

[DocHolliday]

This is sorry.  Next time you see this broad is home, go over to her house and ask her and the kids over for some BBQ.  Quit being intimidated by this woman.  You have to take a chance. 

And worrying about what happens after he bangs her and doesn't want to see her any more is ridiculous.  It is pretty common to have to deal with seeing women that we have banged and dumped.  You may end up friends eventually or you may never talk to her again.  Who cares?  Go find another woman on the next street or something.      

 

[El Floppo]

You could try getting to know her before deciding she is the one.  

wtf?  

 

[belljr]

This is sorry.  Next time you see this broad is home, go over to her house and ask her and the kids over for some BBQ.  Quit being intimidated by this woman.  You have to take a chance. 

And worrying about what happens after he bangs her and doesn't want to see her any more is ridiculous.  It is pretty common to have to deal with seeing women that we have banged and dumped.  You may end up friends eventually or you may never talk to her again.  Who cares?  Go find another woman on the next street or something.      

Settle down hard charger...we got this

 

[Kafka]

Settle down hard charger...we got this

 @ "hard charger"

 

[JNox3]

Also, I thought we were getting of the lady?   Where are we on the ? 

 

[Waingro]

Write her a poem, like a really really long poem, like an essay almost. Be completely honest, write exactly how you feel about her. Don't hold back. Chicks dig poems. 

 

[Godsbrother]

Wow I've never seen a "popular" flagged post.  Special!

I know.  My 15 minutes have finally arrived and I'm one of the populars  ....  

and now it's over.   That was awesome.

 

[DocHolliday]

Settle down hard charger...we got this

You really do not got this.  Our hero is soon going to be watching some other dude's car leaving the drive every morning while he still ponders if he should bake the lady cookies or ask to borrow an umbrella. 

 

[JoeSteeler]

seems like she is a "Hard target" to go after

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

You could try getting to know her before deciding she is the one.  

that is the plan, bf

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Also, I thought we were getting of the lady?   Where are we on the ? 

have not seen her yet... patience, GB

 

[JoeSteeler]

This is sorry.  Next time you see this broad is home, go over to her house and ask her and the kids over for some BBQ.  Quit being intimidated by this woman.  You have to take a chance. 

And worrying about what happens after he bangs her and doesn't want to see her any more is ridiculous.  It is pretty common to have to deal with seeing women that we have banged and dumped.  You may end up friends eventually or you may never talk to her again.  Who cares?  Go find another woman on the next street or something.      

but....but..but..there may be a sprinkle in the air

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

seems like she is a "Hard target" to go after

Just hectic scheduling with the first week of school, etc.  I think business will pick up once I get the digits. Stay tuned. 

 

[Tom Servo]

Just be sure to report back here how it all goes when if you finally make your move. 

He's not eminence; he's going to move on this.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

He's not eminence; he's going to move on this.

I'm definitely going to move on this as if this game has already been played. Just a matter of when. 

 

[belljr]

Settle down hard charger...we got this

You really do not got this.  Our hero is soon going to be watching some other dude's car leaving the drive every morning while he still ponders if he should bake the lady cookies or ask to borrow an umbrella. 

You're not thinking outside the box 

 

[Al O'Pecia]

I think business will pick up once I get the digits.  

Of course that'll pick up business, but I'd wait until at least the second date before requesting rectal digital stimulation.  Pro tip.

 

[The Future Champs]

You could try getting to know her before deciding she is the one.  

She's got a great rack.  Wtf else do you need to know?

 

[DocHolliday]

You're not thinking outside the box 

The problem is that he is doing way too much thinking out of the box. 

 

[Captain Cranks]

I'm definitely going to move on this as if this game has already been played. Just a matter of when. 

So what's your plan at this point?  

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

So what's your plan at this point?  

I plan on making her laugh and charming the #### out of her by any means necessary, then we'll take it from there. 

 

[nittanylion]

Mandatory screening of 'A Few Good Men' at your place.

Colonel, she wants you on that wall. Hell, she needs you on that wall! You just need to find out if she can handle the truth...

 

[Funkley]

I plan on making her laugh and charming the #### out of her by any means necessary, then we'll take it from there. 

Plan B

Chloroform

 

[E-Z Glider]

Not sure. It was after we had shut down outside activities for the evening.

Interestingly enough, I haven't seen her in the morning yet during the week. She leaves later than we do, as I have to be at work for 7:30, so we head out earlier. 

Have we considered the possibility that this little strumpet sent the kids to our boy's door looking for a trustworthy babysitter to use while she's out getting banged harder than a screen door in a hurricane? How would this change your advise?

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Have we considered the possibility that this little strumpet sent the kids to our boy's door looking for a trustworthy babysitter to use while she's out getting banged harder than a screen door in a hurricane? How would this change your advise?

You mean for the cookie delivery? She accompanied the 5yo for that. Let us not postulate with such nonsense theories. 

 

[cockroach]

10 pages before the first date!

Can't wait until they go out but she wants to take it slow and then we get to confabulate on how to get Col. Jessep in them panties. 

 

[El Floppo]

friday can't come soon enough.

 

[johnnycakes]

friday can't come soon enough.

Don't hold your breath.  The chick doesn't get home until late, so he probably won't get to talk to her today.  I'm hoping he has a weekend update, though.