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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (1 Viewer)

Nathan R. Jessep said:
I do know this and I concur. I've been told this by other female friends, and they say I am an exceptional dad, so at least I have that going for me.
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get some letters of recommendation and bring them with you?

well, I watched a lot of Brady Bunch and you are in a similar boat so, he are my suggestions based on the show;

-ask her to move in and have the 4 kids share a room.

-tell her she can be a stay at home mom and hire a full time maid to help out.

-hide the fact that you are a raging homo.

-bring the kids and dog on the honeymoon, then make the dog disappear without a word.

-get joe namath to meet her kids.

-profit

 
Dating Etiquette for Guys

 
  • Dates aren’t like cramming for exams; don’t wait until the last minute to ask a girl out.
  • It’s poor form to honk the car horn to announce your arrival; call for her at the door.
  • Ask her parents when they want her home — and make sure your watch works.
  • It’s only polite to help her don her coat.
  • Real gentlemen open car doors for girls — or any door, for that matter.
  • It’s chivalrous to walk between her and the curb.
  • Bring enough money along.
  • No kissing on the first date.
  • On prom night, don’t leave the corsage in the fridge.
 
"When you dropped off those cookies it got me thinking about what I want out of life.  The answer is more cookies.  I'm taking my kids down to the ______________ (nameoflocalplace) to get an ice cream covered cookie.  Would you and the kids like to come?"

Be wearing a cookie monster T-shirt when you knock on her door to say the above.

 
You've given out hundreds of likes in this thread. Use that energy to do something. 

Imagine if you wait until Friday to ask her out and you see her drive off in a convertible with some db? That would ####.

 
Timmay said:
I wouldnt risk having a cooler, stronger, better looking neighbor guy swoop in and steal his girl before even being able to thank her for the cookies. Plus it is too late of notice to risk her not having plans. 
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meh, a great update to this thread would be him setting up a neighborhood bbq, inviting her only to find out that Steve from a few doors down asked her to go away with him, could the colonel watch her kids for the weekend, and him cursing and grilling up burgers for 50 maniacs from all over the block.

 
https://www.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Cookie-Monster-T-Shirt-Large/dp/B00MWPW94Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472098963&sr=8-1&keywords=cookie+monster+t+shirts

Mildly amusing, nonthreatening, and will get you a conversation. Where you go from there is on you, but know this, single moms love Elmo and Cookie Monster, married moms love Elmo and Cookie Monster, single childless nymphos love Elmo and Cookie Monster.  As long as she gets it is a gag and that you are not the type to actually wear that shirt at any other time, and she is mildly tickled by the gesture, you are in absent halitosis and micro-penis. 

 
Throw a little get together for the LSU-Wisconsin game. Invite her over. After she has had a beer and a half give her a tour of the house. Grab you some butt cheek and pull her in for a kiss. 

If you don't want to wait 10 days, invite her over to show you how to do something with the oven or washing machine. Make up something. Offer her a drink, give her a tour, grab a butt cheek....

Whatever you do, do not catch feelings for her after the first bang, and especially not before the first bang. Feelings turn men into ##### repellent. Single mom's are looking for fun, not feelings.

 
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https://www.amazon.com/Tickle-Me-Cookie-Monster-Talking/dp/B000Z7N1NG

Your follow up to your nonthreatening 40 minute date for ice cream with the kids.  Pen a note saying: Commemorating our introduction. 

No pursuit after this.  None. She either will or will not suggest a date at that point.  Whichever direction she signals there is no changing her first impression you have now finished making since she is aware you are a neighbor and also have kids.  Just as you factor that information so to does she and that decision is not one a woman will change so just roll with it. 

This approach allows you to remain comfortable neighbors if her answer signal is no. There will have been no uncomfortable conversations you two will have to overcome since nothing was ever actually spoken.

 
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going to the movies is a terrible idea.  do something fun, active, that kids will have a blast doing.   it leaves you and the neighbor together to chat.

and unless this chick is already being piped out by at least one dude, she is dying for some D

 
Buy a case of Mountain Dew Code Red. Put a mailing label with your address on it and leave it on her doorstep.  When she knocks on your door and asks "Did you order the Code Red?" you can say "You're ####### right I did!"

 
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offdee said:
Find something going on with the outside of her house that needs a MAN to fix.  Hell, even just make up that something was wrong.  It's raining a lot lately?.....leave her a little note that when you were taking out the trash you noticed her front gutter was filling up with gunk so took care of it for her quick.  Hope you're having a great week!

Short, simple and sweet.  Then action is on her.  Scenarios:

1) no reply or ignores = she's not interested (just let it be)

2) she writes a reply note back = she wants to just be friends (just let it be)

3) she comes by in person to say thanks = she's curiously interested and comfortable approaching you.    In this scenario, then just make that your quick first date...just be charming, make her laugh, be confident, make it clear you're single but just because you haven't met the right woman for you and your kids yet and overall just enjoying a full and exciting life (make her feel like she wants to be a part of that).  No mention of wanting to go out on a date or anything like that.   Just leave her with a good lasting impression of you and things will start to fall in place after that.   It's all about making her feel comfortable and at ease around you right now.  Once that hurdle is cleared, then just gradually up the flirting until things become obvious and then smooth sailing GB.
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This sounds like advice Charlie Kelly would give.  What's next, putting rat poison in her shampoo?

 
DaVinci said:
Buy a case of Mountain Dew Code Red. Put a mailing label with your address on it and leave it on her doorstep.  When she knocks on your door and asks "Did you order the Code Red?" you can say "You're ####### right I did!"
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:lmao: :lmao:  then tell her I've nicknamed my junk "The Truth" and tell her she can't handle it? 

 
Play dates and lunch = you're running the risk of being just friends. Any single mom i've ever dated waited multiple dates until I even met the kids, let alone hang out with them. You can talk about them all you want though. 

 
Don't forget, she chose that house next to you because the first time she walked through the house she saw you through a side window, and decided easy access to sex with her neighbor was a plus.  Don't disappoint her.

 
Timmay said:
Play dates and lunch = you're running the risk of being just friends. Any single mom i've ever dated waited multiple dates until I even met the kids, let alone hang out with them. You can talk about them all you want though. 
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Normally yes, no kids, I agree. But we are neighbors. I've already met her kids. 

 
I have a solid feeling that NRJ is going to #### this up and someone much less deserving will soon be going balls deep in the neighborhood barbie doll. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Normally yes, no kids, I agree. But we are neighbors. I've already met her kids. 
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Just because you met her kids doesn't mean they have to be there on HER date. Take her out and have fun. SHE will decide whether she wants you in her kids lives as "more than a neighbor."

I would even go as far as saying this. If she suggests something with both families for the first date, say "I'm very protective of my children and I want to set a good example for them. Let's have some fun and get to know each other. We can get the kids together when the time is right."

 
johnnycakes said:
You really have an issue with the weather, don't you.  Why wait to catch her outside?  Go ring the doorbell and ask her out.  I like the idea of asking her over for dinner.   Or grilling a lunch outside in the rain. Have her hold the umbrella for you.  But what do I know.  I've got Asperger's.  
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he needs to stay out of the "elements" like that one guy's wife and kid

 
johnnyrock62000 said:
Just because you met her kids doesn't mean they have to be there on HER date. Take her out and have fun. SHE will decide whether she wants you in her kids lives as "more than a neighbor."

I would even go as far as saying this. If she suggests something with both families for the first date, say "I'm very protective of my children and I want to set a good example for them. Let's have some fun and get to know each other. We can get the kids together when the time is right."
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while I do get this aspect, I also think a trip to the park or something along those lines, also allows a little one-on-one time for us to chit-chat and at the same time gives me a little insight into how she interacts with her own kids (and mine perhaps), which is also an important consideration

 
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Nathan R. Jessep said:
I do know this and I concur. I've been told this by other female friends, and they say I am an exceptional dad, so at least I have that going for me.
Click to expand...
Bribe the boys anyway to be your wing men.   

Also, ask her if her backdoor is open incase the front is out of commission.

 
Not suggesting I'd go about this the proper way, but I'd try to set something up that could also be taken as a friendly, neighborly gesture rather than a date.  If there's chemistry, great.  But if there's not, then no awkwardness with your next door neighbor to deal with.  

 
Just clean the area of what would be her gutters and tell her that you are the MAN of the neighborhood and that YOU tell the people of your neighborhood whether or not the gutter area needs to be cleaned or not, no one else. 

 
Captain Cranks said:
Not suggesting I'd go about this the proper way, but I'd try to set something up that could also be taken as a friendly, neighborly gesture rather than a date.  If there's chemistry, great.  But if there's not, then no awkwardness with your next door neighbor to deal with.  
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Forgot to mention I'd also rent a hot Russian hooker for the day who you'd pay most of your attention to while the neighbor stews in jealousy.  

 
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