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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (1 Viewer)

"You know, I've been thinking a lot about this too - the more time we spend together and the closer we become, the part of me that wants to get closer to you is beginning to win over the part that recognizes how complicated getting involved with a neighbor would be.  I think I have a solution though - we just agree to keep anything that happens between us, and we definitely don't tell the kids. With all that they've been through, the last thing they need is more drama in their lives.  And then we just take it slow and see what happens."

 
James Daulton said:
 "if at some point, out of terrible judgment, I wanted a hug, would that be completely inappropriate?" 

NRJ, I hate to say it but it sounds like she thinks a relationship with you would be a bad idea.  The above quote plus all the unloading of past issues and serious talk leads me to believe she's starting to see you as friend/confidant.  Time to scale back your expectations my friend. 
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I think you are a bit off.  I think the terrible judgment line is referring to that she is still officially married and they are neighbors, but she is strongly hinting she is interested in more.  She does see them as currently friends, but is definitely thinking about getting beyond being friends.  He is doing just fine, even with the Saints gear.  Although I would not go the face-painting route, that may freak her out a bit. 

 
Text back :

Of course not. I was born to love you... I was born to lick your face.. I was born... to rub you. But you were born to rub me first. 

 
Footage of their next "date".....

Seriously though, life is way too short to spend 1/2 your day analyzing what text messages "really mean" and playing games. (that nonsense should be over when you're like 25) At this point, she's already decided whether she's ever going to sleep with you. She's obviously got other things on her mind with all the baggage, but she has still made the decision in her head.

Obviously you don't want to come off as some super aggressive ####### with some "So are we gonna ####, or not?!" ultimatum, but its time to lay the cards on the table. You're into her, enjoy spending time with her and would like to take the next step. If she's not ready for that or just not into you, at least you'll know.

Or you could just keep going down this path, and tomorrow we'll be analyzing the specifics of a hug for what it "means" (Hand placement, breathing patterns, how many "Mississippi's" it went on for, etc) 

 
elbowrm said:
"You know, I've been thinking a lot about this too - the more time we spend together and the closer we become, the part of me that wants to get closer to you is beginning to win over the part that recognizes how complicated getting involved with a neighbor would be.  I think I have a solution though - we just agree to keep anything that happens between us, and we definitely don't tell the kids. With all that they've been through, the last thing they need is more drama in their lives.  And then we just take it slow and see what happens."
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I think I bought the same Hallmark card before.  This was in the Thinking of You section, right?

 
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So how did our hero handle this  -- did he give her the okay for an inappropriate hug or is he leaving her hanging while he checks with an internet board?

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
She texts me, completely off topic of what we had been discussing: "if at some point, out of terrible judgment, I wanted a hug, would that be completely inappropriate?" 
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"Can I press my spectacular breasts against your body, and feel your hopefully decently sized meathook press against my hipbone"?

This is exactly what she was saying, bruh. It's go time.

 
Alright, I checked with my son - good news! You get that hug and she is officially your GF.

The way you guys are texting your response should've been something simple and cheesy, along the lines of "Yes, you monster, that's wildly inappropriate. JK, lol :smileyface: :heart:  I'm right across the street if you need one"

It's also time to shift gears a little and actually go on a real date. Now is the time for dinner & drinks. It's Thursday, make a date plan for this weekend. After that texting last night the door was wide open so hopefully you already did.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
BREAKING

I'll give a little backstory

In texting earlier today, after the coffee meetup, I mentioned that she looked like she could use a hug after we had that rather heavy talk, but due to the nature of the conversation, I wasn't sure if that would be appreciated or not. Sounds lame I'm sure, but we've texted a good bit back and forth since I got her number, so between that and the face to face time, I have gotten a good feeling of her personality, and besides that, what I told her was absolutely the truth. And I was again seeing how she might respond to this offering. She kind of laughed it off but did agree that yeah it was some serious conversation and yeah I was probably correct about her needing a hug.  So we go back to bantering about random stuff for the rest of the day.

We both got home late this evening, but were still texting a bit here and there throughout the evening. She texts me, completely off topic of what we had been discussing: "if at some point, out of terrible judgment, I wanted a hug, would that be completely inappropriate?" 

I'll leave it right here, for the experts to weigh in... will tell you what actually happened later (probably in the morning)
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhg2ic4JMn4

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
BREAKING

I'll give a little backstory

In texting earlier today, after the coffee meetup, I mentioned that she looked like she could use a hug after we had that rather heavy talk, but due to the nature of the conversation, I wasn't sure if that would be appreciated or not. Sounds lame I'm sure, but we've texted a good bit back and forth since I got her number, so between that and the face to face time, I have gotten a good feeling of her personality, and besides that, what I told her was absolutely the truth. And I was again seeing how she might respond to this offering. She kind of laughed it off but did agree that yeah it was some serious conversation and yeah I was probably correct about her needing a hug.  So we go back to bantering about random stuff for the rest of the day.

We both got home late this evening, but were still texting a bit here and there throughout the evening. She texts me, completely off topic of what we had been discussing: "if at some point, out of terrible judgment, I wanted a hug, would that be completely inappropriate?" 

I'll leave it right here, for the experts to weigh in... will tell you what actually happened later (probably in the morning)
Click to expand...
My two cents, she has some hesitancy for moving things forward too quickly.  Either because of the divorce not being finalized, not sure about getting romantic with a neighbor, not wanting to rush right into a relationship straight out of a divorce, etc.  But, without a doubt she is interested in more than coffee.

 
Tom Servo said:
Yeah. I'm backing up gianmarco here. Most of you wannabe studs in here don't realize this isn't a Tinder/nightclub hookup. Both parties are divorced, have kids, and 10,000 things on their mind. For ladies, their emotions filter through EVERYTHING they think about. Guys can compartmentalize - we put stuff in mental boxes and shuffle them about as we need to.

Marisa (I'm guessing) has been separated for sometime and finally has her own place/life set up. I would imagine she thought that she would move on in her post-divorce life as a single mom. She knows she's staring down some long odds at having a serious relationship as most men don't want that. Sure, I'm sure she could find a hookup if she wanted, but I'll bet you a dollar to a donut that's not what she wants. If a good, responsible man with a steady job and stable life shows up, she's going to be attracted to that. Now, lo and behold, not only does such a man exists, but right across the freaking street from her new home! She probably can't believe her circumstances.

However, she is going to be coy and want to be won. But, she also knows she needs to know if NRJ is truly interested or just sniffing around for fun. Today's coffee talk was both of them laying their cards on the table. Since NRJ didn't run down the street screaming, she feels like she can trust him with more. To have good relationships, you share, check that your future friend is capable of handling your baggage (not gossiping, making fun of, etc.), and then share more as you feel comfortable. Today's conversation shows that Marissa feels comfortable sharing more of her life story with NRJ, and his story doesn't scare her. Their respective divorces are a source of common ground for them and (maybe) help them deal with the debris of their own situation.

I would say that another time of sharing/talking is necessary before a fun date, but that's on NRJ. To me, he's played it pretty well. If I had to grade today, I say he went 3-4 with a walk and a stolen base.
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Yeah, good thing he isn't secretly posting the blow by blow on a fantasy football message board to a bunch of random strangers! :lol:

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
BREAKING

I'll give a little backstory

In texting earlier today, after the coffee meetup, I mentioned that she looked like she could use a hug after we had that rather heavy talk, but due to the nature of the conversation, I wasn't sure if that would be appreciated or not. Sounds lame I'm sure, but we've texted a good bit back and forth since I got her number, so between that and the face to face time, I have gotten a good feeling of her personality, and besides that, what I told her was absolutely the truth. And I was again seeing how she might respond to this offering. She kind of laughed it off but did agree that yeah it was some serious conversation and yeah I was probably correct about her needing a hug.  So we go back to bantering about random stuff for the rest of the day.

We both got home late this evening, but were still texting a bit here and there throughout the evening. She texts me, completely off topic of what we had been discussing: "if at some point, out of terrible judgment, I wanted a hug, would that be completely inappropriate?" 

I'll leave it right here, for the experts to weigh in... will tell you what actually happened later (probably in the morning)
Click to expand...
come on man

 
Just catching up on all of this now and here are my two cents:  Welcome to Friend'sville, Population: You

Maybe you could climb out of it, but I doubt it.  Simply put, you're WAY too passive.  Ask her out on a damn date already.  Then kiss her like banshee sucking out her soul at the end of the date.  Its probably too late already.  Most women make up their mind about a guy in the first ten seconds.  You've been palling around for a while now.  You need to make a bold move today or your sunk forever.  Fortune favors the bold, good luck!

 
I would have been knocking on her.....door, immediately after getting that hug text.  The phone would have dropped out of my hand and I would have been at her door before it hit the floor.

 
(HULK) said:
Just catching up on all of this now and here are my two cents:  Welcome to Friend'sville, Population: You

Maybe you could climb out of it, but I doubt it.  Simply put, you're WAY too passive.  Ask her out on a damn date already.  Then kiss her like banshee sucking out her soul at the end of the date.  Its probably too late already.  Most women make up their mind about a guy in the first ten seconds.  You've been palling around for a while now.  You need to make a bold move today or your sunk forever.  Fortune favors the bold, good luck!
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Yeah.....except for her texting him that she wants to move things forward against her better judgement. 

 
Meanwhile over at the Purse forum FFA....

Mona Lisa Vito:  So I sent him a text that asked if a hug was appropriate!  I felt so liberated!

Gianmarcita: Wooo! Did you shave your legs first in case he came running over? 

SWC-section: Next thing he'll be asking you to see a movie like A Few Good Men, you can take that to the mall, missy.

Evil Woman:  This thread is going nowhere.  Mr. Matching Saints hat and shirt is clearly not interested.  You blew it.  New Mexico Naomi would have slipped the kids a Benadryl and serviced him at the BBQ.

PurseCurse:  Yes, I agree.  You blew it with the baggage.  Might as well head over to the "when do you call it a handbag thread."

 
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Where is this story set?  Mid-west?  Might change my advice as I was thinking more about where I live, which isn't a place where we ask if hugging is appropriate.  (I live close to AZRon imo)

 
worrierking said:
Meanwhile over at the Purse forum FFA....

Mona Lisa Vito:  So I sent him a text that asked if a hug was appropriate!  I felt so liberated!

Gianmarcita: Wooo! Did you shave your legs first in case he came running over? 

Ms. SWC: Next thing he'll be asking you to see a movie like A Few Good Men, you can take that to the mall, missy.

Evil Woman:  This thread is going nowhere.  Mr. Matching Saints hat and shirt is clearly not interested.  You blew it.  New Mexico Naomi would have slipped the kids a Benadryl and serviced him at the BBQ.

PurseCurse:  Yes, I agree.  You blew it with the baggage.  Might as well head over to the "when do you call it a handbag thread."
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:lmao:

 
mr roboto said:
The way some of you want him to act feels like sophomore year in the dorms. 
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Well I'm a few months shy of 40.  I'm just from the school of thought that women want men to man up.  He's interested he should demonstrate that in a way that isn't vague and cannot be construed potentially as something else.  The thread would be a lot shorter though, cause it would be resolved one way or another immediately.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
BREAKING

I'll give a little backstory

In texting earlier today, after the coffee meetup, I mentioned that she looked like she could use a hug after we had that rather heavy talk, but due to the nature of the conversation, I wasn't sure if that would be appreciated or not. Sounds lame I'm sure, but we've texted a good bit back and forth since I got her number, so between that and the face to face time, I have gotten a good feeling of her personality, and besides that, what I told her was absolutely the truth. And I was again seeing how she might respond to this offering. She kind of laughed it off but did agree that yeah it was some serious conversation and yeah I was probably correct about her needing a hug.  So we go back to bantering about random stuff for the rest of the day.

We both got home late this evening, but were still texting a bit here and there throughout the evening. She texts me, completely off topic of what we had been discussing: "if at some point, out of terrible judgment, I wanted a hug, would that be completely inappropriate?" 

I'll leave it right here, for the experts to weigh in... will tell you what actually happened later (probably in the morning)
Click to expand...
I would have gone with the Good Will Hunting reference:

"Only if you grab my ###"

 
I can already tell why NRJ is having good luck with this hottie.  Based on his posts in here, he seems like a legitimate nice guy.

 
Tom Servo said:
I would say that another time of sharing/talking is necessary before a fun date, but that's on NRJ. To me, he's played it pretty well. If I had to grade today, I say he went 3-4 with a walk and a stolen base.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's great - but how many Yards/TDs/INTs would you say he threw?

 
worrierking said:
Meanwhile over at the Purse forum FFA....

Mona Lisa Vito:  So I sent him a text that asked if a hug was appropriate!  I felt so liberated!

Gianmarcita: Wooo! Did you shave your legs first in case he came running over? 

Ms. SWC: Next thing he'll be asking you to see a movie like A Few Good Men, you can take that to the mall, missy.

Evil Woman:  This thread is going nowhere.  Mr. Matching Saints hat and shirt is clearly not interested.  You blew it.  New Mexico Naomi would have slipped the kids a Benadryl and serviced him at the BBQ.

PurseCurse:  Yes, I agree.  You blew it with the baggage.  Might as well head over to the "when do you call it a handbag thread."
Click to expand...
:golfclap:

 
(HULK) said:
When I was single tinder didn't exist.

Is this emo thing how single men act now?  WTF is wrong with being direct?  And so wrong that I'm being compared to that stupid peacock neg crowd?
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She's still married. They are neighbors. They are single parents. They just started hanging out. She's clearly interested. She also clearly knows he's interested. 

Let it develop. Bad for thread entertainment, great for our hero's chances. 

 
Captain Cranks said:
Ok.  It needs to be said.  Judgment is spelled with one e.  Carry on.  
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Either one is acceptable.

http://grammarist.com/spelling/judgment-judgement/

In American English, judgement is generally considered a misspelling of judgment for all uses of the word, notwithstanding individual preferences. In British popular usage, judgment was traditionally the preferred form, but judgement has gained ground over the last couple of centuries and is now nearly as common as judgment. 

Pay no attention to the myth, widely repeated on the web, that judgement is the original spelling and that judgment is a 19th-century American invention. This is simply untrue, as shown by an abundance of readily available evidence anyone can view online. 

When it comes to legal contexts, English reference sources say varying things. Most seem to agreethat judgment is preferred in legal contexts even in British English, and some say that American and British English differ in their strict legal meanings of judgment. Bryan Garner, in his Modern American Usage, says judgment in American English refers to “the final decisive act of a court in defining the rights of the parties,” whereas, he writes, the word in British English refers to a judicial opinion. We find nothing to contradict this, though there are many English reference sources that do not mention a legal/nonlegal distinction or an American/British distinction.
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