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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (1 Viewer)

Nothing is more entertaining than reading men's advice on how all woman really are esp when you hear many whine about how they don't understand women! lol :popcorn:
Was just thinking something very similar. All these guys thinking they "know" women are fools, liars, or both

 
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I swear this is a full time job trying to keep up with this thing.
The easy thing is to go to NRJ's profile and see his posts, start from the large ones and work from there.  Anything that's truly golden will get quoted anyways.  Saves a TON of time.

 
without the info as to why she was in such a vulnerable state, it's useless to opine on what you should or should not have done.  still should have kissed her on the 2nd hug. ;)

were you wearing khaki?

 
I want to know what the actual #### you guys are reading? "Put your cards on the table!" He only spent 2+ hours in a coffee shop with her and they were BOTH laying full decks on the table. You could've had the world's biggest game of 52 pick up with all the cards being laid.

"You gotta move faster or you'll be friendzoned!" Horse crap. Do you people not realize NRJ and Marissa have actual real lives, with bills and jobs and family commitments? Given everything that NRJ has been willing to share, I'm happy he's gotten this far. He's made ZERO misplays so far. I'd be willing to discuss whether the second hug should've been a kiss, but by and large given the circumstances, it's gone rather well. This is not a sitcom where everything is wrapped up in 22 minutes.

Also, thanks to @CurlyNight and @krista4 for their thoughts from the distaff side.

 
I get it, You're an alpha male. You can beat your chest and stereotype me all you want with the bits of information I have chosen to share. I don't care, because you don't know me. I know that I'm kind, I'm confident, and I'm a great father to my kids. I know exactly what I bring to the table. I'm letting her know what I bring to the table while seeing what she, herself,  brings to the table. I'm willing to let it play out, rather than rush in, cause drama for my kids (and hers) over what would essentially be a fling if there weren't more substance there between us. I'm looking for more than a fling here. I don't know what it will be, but I like where it's headed so far.

I started this thread because I was genuinely not sure if the signs I was seeing (before all this really started) was interest, and I thought it might be fun to document. I did not start this thread because I needed help or advice on how to actually proceed with actions. That being said, I am open minded and I do appreciate outside perspectives and opinions, and I have read every single post in this thread. I'm blown away by the response rate here. I never thought people would really find this #### interesting. It's been pretty fun. 

Regardless of the steps, "slow play," or whatever else, I can't make it any clearer than this. 
:thumbup:

 
tonite texting 

i could really use a ______________

babysitter

tongue hug

tom dempsey jersey 

crawfish hat

man not afraid of affection 

smoo

 
Tip #1.
Calibrate your value versus your friend’s value before you plan your approach.


If she is a 9 and you are a 7, use High Octane Material.  Be more assertive.  Give her at least 3 negs.  Do takeaways at emotional spike points.   Push and pull more.  Open loop her.  Qualify her.  Get her seeking validation, acceptance and approval from you.

If her value is lower than yours, do not need to use negs.  Instead, be more playful.  Show more insecurities.  Make a sincere compliment.  So always calibrate who, what, and where you are picking up.  CALIBRATION is the name of the GAME.

Tip #2.
Approach a one set with an opinion opener.


It has to seem like you only want an opinion from a female and she just happens to be in the area. If you actively look at her, with a smile and ask her for an opinion, her anti slut defense and anti pick up mechanism will kick in and you will be blown out. After you have successfully opened her and she believes through body language and other subtle things that you just want an opinion.  You can hook her with stories, routines, and ball busting.  Qualify her. For example, take her answer and bust on it.

Tip #3.
Remember women do not sleep with men who choose them, as this violates the anti slut mechanism.


That is why women chase and have sex men who play “Hard to get.”  Basically by you playing hard to get and making a woman chase you, you seem to convey that you don’t want to get down her pants desperately, you have other chicks because you play hard to get.  When you switch the tables on a woman like this, she doesn’t feel guilty about sleeping with you because SHE CHOSE IT.

In society it’s the women who choose so she won’t feel like she is violating societal convention and will be more apt to justify playing with you. She will say “yeah but I chose him”.  She did because you pushed her buttons, acted like a challenge, did takeaways, pushed and pulled her, and this made her chase you so it seems like she pursued you for sex. This is what you must do in a pick up.  Play hard to get. Meaning ball bust, and qualify her. Then screen and accept her.

Tip #4.
Approach at 45 degree angle.


Only close the angle if she earns it by responding to your opener and material. If she doesn’t, turn your back to her and just walk away. Women do this to guys all the time and it makes guys follow and chase them to find out “hey what the hell” what’s wrong with me or what did I say to seek her validation.   The same thing will happen when girl or set give you a “I’m not interested” response. Immediately disqualify them and turn your back. They will chase you.

Tip #5.
Do takeaways at high emotional peak points.


Once you deliver your high octane material like Cocky/funny, and she is engaged or laughing at the peak of the laugher. Turn your back slightly away from her and break eye contact. She will attempt to re-engage you to chase you because she wants those feelings you gave her. Remember people will chase to re build rapport with you when you attempt to break it. Also, people of higher value break rapport, while those of lower value try to build it.

Tip #6.
Always follow these steps in your pick up:  Approach-Show value-Attract-Rapport-Extract


There should be touch throughout. Less to more but she has to earn it.  Your body angle gets closer as the pick up progresses.  Remember, anytime she does something that you do not approve of, re open your body angle, lean away, touch her less.  This way, she becomes dependent on seeking your acceptance or approval.

Tip #8.
Talk slowly and from your diaphragm. Use deliberate pauses and delays.


Do not say “Right” or “You know” when you speak

Tip #9.
If a girl asks you a question, do not be too eager to answer it. Shows too much interest.


Just ignore it and she will say “Hey ….did you hear my question” which means she is eager to seek validation from you by you answering or communicating with her. That is the position of power you want to establish… where the tables are turned.

Tip #10.
Do not smile too much when you meet a set or a girl.


It shows approval seeking, AFCtendencies. Only smile as a reward to what she says if it impresses you. This will condition her to seek your validation . She has to earn it!  Then she will become like an approval seeking guy.
Granted, I've been off the market for 20 years, but do people really believe and do this garbage? Who needs this nonsense to talk to / date / sleep with women? Just awful.

 
I better not EVER see one single one of you with a tshirt AND hat of your favorite ### #### football team. Lots of lies in here. Bunch of posers. 
You'll never see me in NFL gear.  Still waiting on the apology from the Vikings organization for signing Bret Favre.

College hockey is a different story.  Love my Golden Gophers too damn much.

 
I like how NRJ has this in the bag and it's still not good enough for some of you meatheads.
:goodposting:

This thread is fascinating. Alphamale CSTU shtick is the worst, but all the goobers claiming he is messing up by not making out with her are absurd. OP seems to have a pretty good handle on things. It's been less than two weeks. Four young kids involved, many years of living next to each other. IMO much more important to get to know the person rather than jump straight to intimacy and the complications that come with it. :shrug:  

 
Over/under on the chance they hook up, start dating and she finds this thread on his computer?
Given how NRJ has presented himself here...it might actually HELP him.

(Of course, should they later marry, she'll likely ban him from the site!)

 
Just got caught up on like 15 pages since last night... this is exhausting. 

Keep up to good work!!!

and by all means, this woman needs it.. badly... you should help her out... seriously!!!

 
I want to know what the actual #### you guys are reading? "Put your cards on the table!" He only spent 2+ hours in a coffee shop with her and they were BOTH laying full decks on the table. You could've had the world's biggest game of 52 pick up with all the cards being laid.

"You gotta move faster or you'll be friendzoned!" Horse crap. Do you people not realize NRJ and Marissa have actual real lives, with bills and jobs and family commitments? Given everything that NRJ has been willing to share, I'm happy he's gotten this far. He's made ZERO misplays so far. I'd be willing to discuss whether the second hug should've been a kiss, but by and large given the circumstances, it's gone rather well. This is not a sitcom where everything is wrapped up in 22 minutes.

Also, thanks to @CurlyNight and @krista4 for their thoughts from the distaff side.
I think the hug sessions should have been handled more aggressively...at least the second.  Otherwise I agree.  However, as I've mentioned before, he needs to start taking the reigns on the pace of play going forward.  She made a pretty strong indication of that in last night's text.  

 
Gotta say NRJ - things are looking good! You haven't briefed us on your weekend plans yet - I need to fill out my FBG calendar to know when I need to check in for the latest updates 

 
I swear this is a full time job trying to keep up with this thing.
This. 

My last few days have looked like this:

1. Wake up. Check NRJ's thread.

2. Eat breakfast while monitoring NRJ's thread. Shower and go to work.

3. Lunch break. Check NRJ's thread while eating lunch.

4. Work, although trying to get some sneak peeks into NRJ's thread

5. Home. Monitoring NRJ's thread more.

6. Eat dinner. Immediately check NRJ's thread afterwards. 

7. Go to bed, but checks NRJ's thread before dosing off. 

Wash, rinse, and repeat. I think I'm tapping out. Not sure I can handle anymore. My addiction makes the addiction of a coke addict seem like a walk in the park. This cannot be healthy. I need my fix every damn day. 

 
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:goodposting:

This thread is fascinating. Alphamale CSTU shtick is the worst, but all the goobers claiming he is messing up by not making out with her are absurd. OP seems to have a pretty good handle on things. It's been less than two weeks. Four young kids involved, many years of living next to each other. IMO much more important to get to know the person rather than jump straight to intimacy and the complications that come with it. :shrug:  
I trust NRJ. Gotta trust the guy on the ground as one of my favorite books read. Can't micromanage this. NRJ knows what's best.

I wouldn't be able to post here and say "NRJ, do this. NRJ do that." Not in his shoes. Not in his position. Not in his situation. He knows his situation better than any of us do, so I can only trust him to do what's best for him. Good luck Colonel!

 
let's not scare NFJ off. he has put up with 78 pages of horrible advice, terrible shtick and general nonsensery to deliver a good story :thumbup: by all accounts he seems a good dude with a sense of humor. don't #### this up, you apes.

 
I can't keep up with this thread so I just want to say good job so far NRJ... seems like you are playing things well.  Now for a comment and a question.

The phrase "tongue punch her fart box" keeps popping into my head and I keep  :lmao:

Vodka on the helmet - we ever find out what that is all about?

 
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:hands out vomit bags in advance: 

NRJ: I vote no on inappropriate. I'm a fan of hugs

M: K me too.

NRJ: " :thumbup:  "

...random few messages over the span of 15 minutes or so...

M: so if you happen to "need something out of your truck" and feel like I a hug I will come hug you very quickly? Yes? Ok deal. 

M: it's just a rare one time request, bc I especially need one.

NRJ (grinning like the ####### Cheshire cat): Haha yes. Deal. When?

M: Now? Just tell me

NRJ: OK. Yep. 

My kids are still up, but making preparations for bed, but still milling around the house.  My son is doing his nightly routine of shooting a few free throws on the Nerf hoop after brushing his teeth, so he's making all kinds of racket inside. I slip out onto the porch, and she's headed towards my house, through the yard. She says "heyyyy" and I meet her at the bottom of my steps. She grabs my shoulders and pulls me in, pressing her chest against mine tightly, and wrapping her arms around me. So I wrap mine around her as well and we just stand there for about 30 seconds, not saying a word, just soaking it in. About that time, my son shot a brick apparently and it bounced off the window/blinds, and scared the #### out of Marissa and I. We both jumped, thinking we were busted, then we started laughing. She quickly turned and tiptoed back to her yard, and I went back in and got the kids in bed, and they were none the wiser. 

NRJ: Damn kids.

M: Lol. Good hug. Thank you.

NRJ: Agreed. And thank you. 

M: anytime!

....mostly randomness, but I did work in a "that was not my best hug effort" and she insisted she liked it regardless...

M: Well I desperately needed a hug

NRJ: *nods* I thought so

M: You needed one too you just didn't know it ;)  

NRJ: I think you may be right

....M explains why she needed a hug (I will not disclose why here), I say I understand and glad I was able to help her out...

M: Me too. You have to initiate the next one though.

NRJ: I pretty much initiated that one hours ago didn't I? ( :bowtie:  )

M: well sort of, but I came up with the plan to actually make it happen

NRJ: yes you did

NRJ: Perhaps, theoretically, say I left something ELSE in my truck and had to go get it in a little while?

M: LOL what is a little while?

NRJ: Any time between right now and when I (you) go to bed?

NRJ: I mean my schedule is pretty wide open from not to bedtime. 

NRJ: Theoretically

M: How about right now? 

NRJ: :yes:  

This time, I wait for her to come all the way to my porch. She greets me again, and she kind of slithered up next to me and slinked her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder/neck area and just sighed a long deep breath. She seemed content. I was definitely content. On the offdee quivalent of a hugs scale, it was a 9.5. it definitely felt "right" and it definitely felt like more than a friendly hug. 

Now, I'm sure I just opened myself up for some laughs and critique of my replies, but I posted the texts above just to give you an idea of her personality that I've gotten to know and probably haven't conveyed through my posts. She's very quick-witted and funny and gives me #### right back if I give her ####. I dig that in a chick. We have played very well off of each other thus far, I think. 

She did offer that she hoped it wasn't too much and she is just very physically affectionate. I told her it was most definitely not too much. She says it's kind of a delicate situation, being as she lives right next door and she didn't want to make things awkward. I agreed and said there was no awkwardness from my point of view, with which she agreed. --so

basically she's on the same page I am, I feel. Just proceeding with extreme caution, which I am fine with. I'm being cautious as well. There's a lot at stake here for all involved.  

There has been discussion of said hug this morning, and the analysis is good. Early prognosis is also good for future endeavors. No specific plans made just yet, but I'd expect that to be in the mix very soon. 

I don't know where it'll end up, or how fast, but it's absolutely been a much-needed fun couple of weeks for me, so I look forward to what lies ahead. So I understand if anyone or everyone wants to tap out of this thread now, but I can guaran-### ####-tee you it's not a fishing trip.  I appreciate the advice (well, most of it) and well-wishes, and the entertainment you SOBs have provided. :thumbup:  

As you were, men (and women). 
Happy for you both...  time to stop updating here.  Nothing good will come from it.  Sorry FFA

 
I can't keep up with this thread so I just want to say good job so far NRJ... seems like you are playing things well.  Now for a comment and a question.

The phrase "tongue punch her fart box" keeps popping into my head and I keep  :lmao:

Vodka on the helmet - we ever find out what that is all about?
Vodka is a disinfectant 

 
I gave up reading this thread around page 13 or 14.  Obviously that appears to have been a mistake.  Someone give me the cliff notes on the last 64 pages or at least point me to the page(s) I should go back to for the critical content to get up to speed.  If you say page 15, I quit.

 
I gave up reading this thread around page 13 or 14.  Obviously that appears to have been a mistake.  Someone give me the cliff notes on the last 64 pages or at least point me to the page(s) I should go back to for the critical content to get up to speed.  If you say page 15, I quit.
You're good here. 

 
I get it, You're an alpha male. You can beat your chest and stereotype me all you want with the bits of information I have chosen to share. I don't care, because you don't know me. I know that I'm kind, I'm confident, and I'm a great father to my kids. I know exactly what I bring to the table. I'm letting her know what I bring to the table while seeing what she, herself,  brings to the table. I'm willing to let it play out, rather than rush in, cause drama for my kids (and hers) over what would essentially be a fling if there weren't more substance there between us. I'm looking for more than a fling here. I don't know what it will be, but I like where it's headed so far.

I started this thread because I was genuinely not sure if the signs I was seeing (before all this really started) was interest, and I thought it might be fun to document. I did not start this thread because I needed help or advice on how to actually proceed with actions. That being said, I am open minded and I do appreciate outside perspectives and opinions, and I have read every single post in this thread. I'm blown away by the response rate here. I never thought people would really find this #### interesting. It's been pretty fun. 

Regardless of the steps, "slow play," or whatever else, I can't make it any clearer than this. 
:greatpost:

 
For the love of god, I'm supposed to be setting my Fandual thursday lineups and now I have 45mins less time because I had to catch up on all the posts I had missed.  With so many posts I figured he'd have had to have done something bold and decisive, but alas, all for naught.  

Now I have to roll with just my Tyrod Taylor /  Sammy Watkins stacks and hope for the best.

Thanks a lot NRJ!   :rant:

 
I can't keep up with this thread so I just want to say good job so far NRJ... seems like you are playing things well.  Now for a comment and a question.

The phrase "tongue punch her fart box" keeps popping into my head and I keep  :lmao:

Vodka on the helmet - we ever find out what that is all about?
I am afraid to Google this....someone please elaborate. 

 
I think the hug sessions should have been handled more aggressively...at least the second.  Otherwise I agree.  However, as I've mentioned before, he needs to start taking the reigns on the pace of play going forward.  She made a pretty strong indication of that in last night's text.  
Nailed it.  He played it perfectly up until the second hug.  She absolutely wanted a kiss that second time. That said she isn't now second guessing his interest. Worst case she went home mildly disappointed thinking "damn, I thought I was getting a kiss."

 
Just for reference... my wife was a widowed mother of a toddler when we first met. We acknowledged the immediate feelings we had for each other the very first night. We had our first passionate kiss a month and a half later. And we consummated the relationship maybe a month or two after that. We were mid 30's at the time. 

 
Jessep…don't let anyone here discourage you. Keep fighting the good fight and keep those updates coming. Good stuff! Best of luck with your quest.

 
Let's see ...

"Swift" - Certainly not.

"Silent" - I guess this is an appropriate qualifier seeing as u r texting like a girl instead of talking.

"Deadly" - Yet to be seen....

Marine, u need to step up your game!

 

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