Worst five words you could say on a first date? (1 Viewer)

[BasATC2004]

no darlin, I HAD hepatitis

 

[FUBAR]

you're better than your mom!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Like my fantasy football trophy?

 

[FUBAR]

can you support a SAHD? (Stay at home Dad)

 

[El Floppo]

Like my fantasy football trophy shirt?

 

[cstu]

Movie starting, tuna fish time!

 

[gianmarco]

When's your next class, sweetie? /homer

 

[The Football Freak]

Does my finger smell funny?

 

[gianmarco]

Wake up, I'm almost done.

 

[Tom Servo]

Like my fantasy football trophy?

Title belts are the rage now.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

You taste like my mom.

 

[-fish-]

I'm already wearing your panties.

 

[quickhands]

i broke my nose too.

 

[Gr00vus]

I'm the lyrical Jesse James!

 

[Gr00vus]

Did you bring the mescaline?

 

[Gr00vus]

That stain is just tapioca.

 

[pats3in4]

I'm the lyrical Jesse James!

Picturing someone saying this cracked me up.

 

[elguapo07]

Hi, I'm Ted. Ted Bundy.

 

[xulf]

Penis penis penis penis penis.

 

[bostonfred]

What? Yes it's already in.

 

[dickey moe]

You dig Mumford and Sons?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I'm already wearing your panties.

You dig Mumford and Sons?

Solid

 

[On The Rocks]

"They Call Me Bruce Caitlyn."

Is that an Adam's apple?

 

[Spike]

I believe women should pay.

 

[Spike]

Guys can wear makeup too.

 

[gianmarco]

Do we have matching underwear?

 

[kentric]

Put this over your head (hold out a brown paper bag, bonus points for putting a bag over your head to play it safe).

 

[Bob Magaw]

ISIS chose you for breeding.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre? My family.

Is tertiary syphilis a dealbreaker?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Ayyyy, lemme see your butthole.

 

[Bob Magaw]

Ex? Woodchippered. Enough about me.

 

[skol asylum]

Look at the flowers Lizzie.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Fat Chicks? Yeah, I like.

 

[Bob Magaw]

I've seen Anti-Christ 100 times.

Group strip twister at Gimp's?

Haggis or lutefisk, your choice.

Dungeons and Dragons tops sex.

Cupcake/Brownie - I call Crownie!

Going for, Kathy Bates look?

Tell me your a nymphomaniac.

I have incurable compulsive satyriasis.

My crabs dwarf Red Lobster's.

Sorry, I'm a clown scout.

Pick heads or tails, friendo.

They're working miracles with elephantitis.

 

[Hilts]

Whaddya got?

"Olive Garden is the best!"

Yeah I've had sex with girls who said this on a first date. I'd toss out "pedophile", "represent", "normal", etc. as my nominations.

Wanna see five fluid ounces?

Do you own a Yorkie?

Let's talk about our exes.

 

[Insein]

forget it, Mister Garrison.

Wtf?

 

[Bob Magaw]

Phrase association - first date orgies?

 

[urbanhack]

I'm Woz from the Internet.

 

[Bob Magaw]

Caligula and Salo double feature?

I've been gassy since birth.

Cosby? My mentor and idol.

Make sure you drink everything.

Just got out of prison.

There's something you should know.

Don't think hermaphroditism is inheritable?

 

[elguapo07]

You look like Rosie O'Donnell

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Jared from Subway, is cool.

 

[Bob Magaw]

Wear this Dorothy costume - NOW!

 

[Tchula]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I mean there's no use in setting a pattern and emasculating yourself on day one. A woman needs to hear "NO" once in awhile.

 

[-fish-]

Wear this Dorothy costume - NOW!

that could work.

 

[Das Boot]

I can't have "normal" sex.

 

[Das Boot]

Hey! You're my first non-wiccan!

 

[skol asylum]

Wanna play some Crash Bandicoot?

Followed by...

Play cards right, fingerblasting time!

 

[larch]

First off, how are you?

 

[Bob Magaw]

Check out my cool dungeon.

Have you ever met Gimp?

 

[Bob Magaw]

Duck, I'm about to barf!

 

[Rubi]

My name is Ted Cruz