What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Would you donate sperm to a long time friend in need? (1 Viewer)

??

  • Yes/Probably

    Votes: 29 43.9%

  • No/Never

    Votes: 22 33.3%

  • Maybe

    Votes: 15 22.7%
  • Total voters
    66
Max Power

Max Power

Footballguy
Lets say a long time friend in the 15-20 year range either can't produce a child or hasn't met the right person, but knows their window for child bearing is closing. 

This friend calls you and expresses interest in your DNA being the father for his or her child.  What would you say? 

This can be a married guy friend who is shooting blanks or a female (lesbian maybe) who hasn't found a good man.

 
I'd probably do it although I'm sure you'd get some weird feelings being around the kid

We have a good friend that was a surrogate for another friend of ours.  It was their sperm/egg she just carried it.

 
I voted no--but solely because of my personal decision to not have any kids.   If I actually had a kid--I'd probably want to be fully involved--and donating sperm would not be my definition of full involvement. Interesting topic.  

 
humor me here - what reason would there be for not doing this?  

edit: NEVERMIND 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
jvdesigns2002 said:
If there was a way to describe how insanely charitable you are.   Philanthropy must flow through your veins. Lol. 
Click to expand...
Just the way i was raised. Hell - this Sunday, SB party, i'll prolly leave some in a go-cup on the bathroom sink. Life, and all its possibilities, right there, baby!

 
No.  Ultimately I would feel some responsibility for the child. I would wonder about him or her and have zero control over their existence. 

No thank you.

 
Peyton Marino said:
humor me here - what reason would there be for not doing this?  
Click to expand...
Serious answer.  I've been asked twice now. The first was a clear no for lesbian couple because I wasn't good enough friends with the person asking to have her and the child in my life going forward.

The second time was recent and she is actually someone I care about.  I met her during military training and we were hot and heavy for 4 months.  We then got stationed on opposite ends of the globe for our military obligation. I've since married and had children. I've maintained a purely friendly/professional relationship with this other women since.  She is going on 38 and asked for the donation and I'm conflicted.

I'm conflicted because its not an easy topic to bring up with the wife or my children in the future.

 
Max Power said:
Serious answer.  I've been asked twice now. The first was a clear no for lesbian couple because I wasn't good enough friends with the person asking to have her and the child in my life going forward.

The second time was recent and she is actually someone I care about.  I met her during military training and we were hot and heavy for 4 months.  We then got stationed on opposite ends of the globe for our military obligation. I've since married and had children. I've maintained a purely friendly/professional relationship with this other women since.  She is going on 38 and asked for the donation and I'm conflicted.

I'm conflicted because its not an easy topic to bring up with the wife or my children in the future.
Click to expand...
totally reasonable.  I underestimated the personal impact here.

 
Max Power said:
Serious answer.  I've been asked twice now. The first was a clear no for lesbian couple because I wasn't good enough friends with the person asking to have her and the child in my life going forward.

The second time was recent and she is actually someone I care about.  I met her during military training and we were hot and heavy for 4 months.  We then got stationed on opposite ends of the globe for our military obligation. I've since married and had children. I've maintained a purely friendly/professional relationship with this other women since.  She is going on 38 and asked for the donation and I'm conflicted.

I'm conflicted because its not an easy topic to bring up with the wife or my children in the future.
Click to expand...
Yea.. the only way this even could happen (still doubt I would), is if it were brought to my wife first.

No way in hell is it going to come from me. :lmao:

 
I may be in the minority here, but unless I'm donating "the old fashioned way",  I don't expect to be included in the raising of the child. Much like when a child is put up for adoption, the birth parents cede that right/responsibility. 

 
BowieMercs said:
I may be in the minority here, but unless I'm donating "the old fashioned way",  I don't expect to be included in the raising of the child. Much like when a child is put up for adoption, the birth parents cede that right/responsibility. 
Click to expand...
Correct and to me that in there lies the problem.  You "know" it's your kid.   Are you ready to say "well it's not my kid"  that easily. :shrug:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Yeah ofcourse. That's a really moving compliment to be asked something like that. Maybe the highest possible compliment.

 
Ilov80s said:
Yeah ofcourse. That's a really moving compliment to be asked something like that. Maybe the highest possible compliment.
Click to expand...
Yes and no.  I'm tall, good looking, score well on IQ tests (doesn't mean I'm smart), physically fit.  On the other end, My family has a long history of heart disease, dementia, and various cancers. 

 
matuski said:
Yea.. the only way this even could happen (still doubt I would), is if it were brought to my wife first.

No way in hell is it going to come from me. :lmao:
Click to expand...
This is my biggest hold up.  Knowing my wife... if it was a life long friend I never had sex with she'd be more open to the idea.  Having to admit I had sex with someone I'm still friends with (even before meeting her) that wants my DNA probably wont end well.

 
i've been asked to donate twice. the first time was with a lesbian couple that I knew. they decided to chat with my then girlfriend first before chatting with me. she said "no way" and they went with another friend instead. they just went to him directly. he agreed without consulting his longtime and live-in gf and got the friend pregnant. his gf got wind of what happened and was devastated. they split up afterward. 

2nd time was with a single friend as she approached 40. she asked me but i declined. if i was a younger man then maybe but being over 40 myself - and a dad now too - it doesn't feel right somehow.

 
belljr said:
seriously?    

You are the father of a child that you "write off"  
Click to expand...
Yeah, this is the biggest thing for me. Not that I wouldn't help most other times, but it would be odd knowing one of my best friends has MY kid. If he turns out to be a s###head, how don't you feel a responsibility to discipline him yourself?

 
No for me. Especially if they guy was shooting blanks. I have to think at some level, he'd have resentment towards me. 

 
You've been asked twice?!  I can't comprehend being asked that, let alone how I'd react.  I think I'd be absolutely stunned and not know what to say.

There's no way I could donate no matter the scenario.  For me....the closer the requester is to me, the weirder it would get.

 
Dan Lambskin said:
I'd probably do it although I'm sure you'd get some weird feelings being around the kid

We have a good friend that was a surrogate for another friend of ours.  It was their sperm/egg she just carried it.
Click to expand...


belljr said:
Correct and to me that in their lies the problem.  You "know" it's your kid.   Are you ready to say "well it's not my kid"  that easily. :shrug:
Click to expand...
That's the problem for sure.  It kinda depends on how well the kid will be taken care of.  Obviously if the mom is a long term friend I think she's a decent enough person but how well is she able to take care of the kid?  Nothing against single moms, there are many doing an awesome job, but it is more difficult for her and the kid.  

I'd feel like I'd have to do more than simply write the kid off, but wouldn't want to judge mom on her parenting.  Plus, with 5 of my own, I'm not having more.  

Also, worst case, something happens to mom.  Am I in her will to take custody?  I'd want to be, I think... 

I'd be willing to donate sperm but not to someone I see and would know that's my kid. 

I'd suggest she adopt.  We're going through the process now so I don't think it would be that weird a suggestion.  Actually, with us adopting it would be weird of her to ask.  (Not your situation, but you asked what we'd do)

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Clown Car said:
Bank. If I'm doing it on my own I don't want ties or obligations. 
Click to expand...
Doesn't it worry you about the type of man who would donate? Not to crap on anyone's decision, but who doesn't want some contact with their spawn? Maybe I'm too conservative.

 
Ned said:
You've been asked twice?!  I can't comprehend being asked that, let alone how I'd react.  I think I'd be absolutely stunned and not know what to say.

There's no way I could donate no matter the scenario.  For me....the closer the requester is to me, the weirder it would get.
Click to expand...
Again... going back to the default... consider a good friend going to a random sample.  Isn't that a bit scary?  I mean who donates sperm randomly?

 
Max Power said:
Doesn't it worry you about the type of man who would donate? Not to crap on anyone's decision, but who doesn't want some contact with their spawn? Maybe I'm too conservative.
Click to expand...
Personally I would never do it. But if I was going to have a baby wo a father I would want it to be anonymous. 

 
Furthermore if I wanted a child wo a father I would adopt one already here rather than making another one wo a father. 

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

DJackson10
Need some Work related issue advice on how to settle a matter
Replies
4
Views
670
Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider
DJackson10
I was Diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome in 2010. A Q/A on what I deal with on a daily bases (This is not an excuse but a learning experience)
2
Replies
97
Views
5K
DJackson10
DJackson10
John Maddens Lunchbox
U2 - Community rankings - FIN - #4 Sunday Bloody Sunday, #3 - One, #2 - Bad, #1 - Where the Streets Have No Name -Spotify links, thanks to Krista4
89 90 91
Replies
5K
Views
127K
Anarchy99
Anarchy99

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top