Would you donate sperm to a long time friend in need? (1 Viewer)

[FUBAR]

Doesn't it worry you about the type of man who would donate? Not to crap on anyone's decision, but who doesn't want some contact with their spawn? Maybe I'm too conservative.

Maybe, but some guys don't want to raise kids, want to pass their genes and make a few bucks for a few minutes. 

 

[fruity pebbles]

Lesbian friend of mine has hinted around for years. Had a small thing with her many years ago. She has a new girlfriend since then, i know them both. They are both hinting around now. In one breath saying they would like to have children and in the next saying i make beautiful children. 

 

[Max Power]

Is she against adoption?

Not entirely. Probably just wants a baby that is "hers" in some form.  I'm speculating though....

 

[Max Power]

Furthermore if I wanted a child wo a father I would adopt one already here rather than making another one wo a father. 

I can't speak to this.  Is there a part of females that want to carry on their genetic code? 

 

[BowieMercs]

Furthermore if I wanted a child wo a father I would adopt one already here rather than making another one wo a father. 

Some people feel the biological need to procreate, others are fine adopting. Both are valid IMHO.

 

[BowieMercs]

Lesbian friend of mine has hinted around for years. Had a small thing with her many years ago. She has a new girlfriend since then, i know them both. They are both hinting around now. In one breath saying they would like to have children and in the next saying i make beautiful children. 

Hit em both & see which one sticks  

 

[Ned]

You've been asked twice?!  I can't comprehend being asked that, let alone how I'd react.  I think I'd be absolutely stunned and not know what to say.

There's no way I could donate no matter the scenario.  For me....the closer the requester is to me, the weirder it would get.

Again... going back to the default... consider a good friend going to a random sample.  Isn't that a bit scary?  I mean who donates sperm randomly?

Is it really a random sample?  I don't know how that stuff works, but isn't there a process on "vetting" you before you're allowed to donate?

Regardless, donating would be too heavy of a burden for me.  I don't care what agreements are in place, I'd always feel somewhat responsible for the kid.  

 

[fruity pebbles]

Hit em both & see which one sticks  

Both hot too. I was pretty much in love with her previous girlfriend. Those days are over now. 

 

[Ned]

Lesbian friend of mine has hinted around for years. Had a small thing with her many years ago. She has a new girlfriend since then, i know them both. They are both hinting around now. In one breath saying they would like to have children and in the next saying i make beautiful children. 

Show them your magic football teams.  They'll reconsider pretty quickly.

 

[fruity pebbles]

Show them your magic football teams.  They'll reconsider pretty quickly.

Who wants to look at a loser

 

[Max Power]

Is it really a random sample?  I don't know how that stuff works, but isn't there a process on "vetting" you before you're allowed to donate?

Regardless, donating would be too heavy of a burden for me.  I don't care what agreements are in place, I'd always feel somewhat responsible for the kid.  

per the movies they do IQ tests. maybe some blood work.  But yes... that is 100% your kid

 

[BowieMercs]

per the movies they do IQ tests. maybe some blood work.  But yes... that is 100% your kid

My brother & his wife adopted 2 kids. They are 100% their kids. Their biological parents are just that. Biological parents. 

 

[FUBAR]

My brother & his wife adopted 2 kids. They are 100% their kids. Their biological parents are just that. Biological parents. 

Right.  This is one reason we're adopting internationally, where the parents aren't known.  No way for her, years from now to find bio-mom. 

How will it play out if when the kid is a teenager he tries to find dad, only to find dad is this guy he knew his whole life who never said anything and didn't do anything with him?  In a big way this has to be open, which is also way too weird for me. 

 

[NutterButter]

After reading a bunch of replies, I'm changing my vote to 'no'.  Way too much potential for some serious headaches.   

 

[Ned]

Right.  This is one reason we're adopting internationally, where the parents aren't known.  No way for her, years from now to find bio-mom. 

How will it play out if when the kid is a teenager he tries to find dad, only to find dad is this guy he knew his whole life who never said anything and didn't do anything with him?  In a big way this has to be open, which is also way too weird for me. 

Yep - so many moving parts/possibilities for this to turn sour or super awkward.  

 

[Clown Car]

I can't speak to this.  Is there a part of females that want to carry on their genetic code? 

I can't speak for all women and obviously procreating has been extremely easy for me, but I wouldn't want to get pregnant just to have a baby. My husband and I had babies to build our family. If I was single I don't think I would have had kids at all bio or adopted. 

 

[skol asylum]

That's the problem for sure.  It kinda depends on how well the kid will be taken care of.  Obviously if the mom is a long term friend I think she's a decent enough person but how well is she able to take care of the kid?  Nothing against single moms, there are many doing an awesome job, but it is more difficult for her and the kid.  

I'd feel like I'd have to do more than simply write the kid off, but wouldn't want to judge mom on her parenting.  Plus, with 5 of my own, I'm not having more.  

Also, worst case, something happens to mom.  Am I in her will to take custody?  I'd want to be, I think... 

I'd be willing to donate sperm but not to someone I see and would know that's my kid. 

I'd suggest she adopt.  We're going through the process now so I don't think it would be that weird a suggestion.  Actually, with us adopting it would be weird of her to ask.  (Not your situation, but you asked what we'd do)

You have 5 kids and you are looking to adopt?

Or are your trying to lighten the load and offload one or two of yours?

 

[Jobber]

Au Natural method only.

I would of course neglect to inform her I'm snipped.

 

[FUBAR]

You have 5 kids and you are looking to adopt?

Or are your trying to lighten the load and offload one or two of yours?

4 bio, 1 adoptee not yet here - we've considered her ours for a while now, even though she hasn't been identified. We expect to be matched by March (it's a long process).

 

[skol asylum]

4 bio, 1 adoptee not yet here - we've considered her ours for a while now, even though she hasn't been identified. We expect to be matched by March (it's a long process).

Good on you. That's alot of commitment.

 

[lakerstan]

Totally would - they are just cells.   Like donating a kidney - but much easier...

I wouldn't feel responsible for a donated kidney, or want to take it to the movies on weekends in a little jar.

 

[SacramentoBob]

As long as I can donate it directly to the wife.

 

[E-Z Glider]

Not my situation personally, but say its a brother or step brother that whole heartedly wanted it.  still no?

I was a solid no, but this is an interesting scenario. Id have to at least seriously consider it. 

 

[Max Power]

Bumping for a couple more opinions

 

[whiskey7]

Correct and to me that in there lies the problem.  You "know" it's your kid.   Are you ready to say "well it's not my kid"  that easily.

I couldn't. Therefore, I answered "No, never".

As someone else (80s maybe?) said, would be honored/flattered to be asked, though. I just couldn't go through with it.