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Just found out one of the 3rd grade teachers at my 2nd grade son's school is named Mr Hand.

oh god... I don't ask you for much- well... too much... and I know I whine a lot... but please, please, please, please.

TIA,

Le Flappeau.

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Just found out one of the 3rd grade teachers at my 2nd grade son's school is named Mr Hand.

IF YOU DON'T TEACH YOUR KID TO SAY "ALOHA" TO THAT TEACHER EVERY TIME HE/SHE SEES HIM YOU HAVE FAILED AS A PERSON.

I don't follow.

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Just found out one of the 3rd grade teachers at my 2nd grade son's school is named Mr Hand.

IF YOU DON'T TEACH YOUR KID TO SAY "ALOHA" TO THAT TEACHER EVERY TIME HE/SHE SEES HIM YOU HAVE FAILED AS A PERSON.

This. Also, he should order a pizza.

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Oh, pretty sure I set a world record yesterday.

This chick that used to work with my wife is planning on getting married next year. They're going to have a typical "big" wedding sometime next spring. But she and her fiance wanted to get get legally married ASAP so she can get on his insurance (he's a cop).

So the wife and I met them at a local park yesterday afternoon. There were about 10 other people there (parents, siblings etc). The specifically told me "make it as quick and simple as possible".

Me: Family and friends...we are here today to celebrate and be witness to the marriage between Candice and Michael.

Do both of you swear that you are here of your own free will and you are entering into this marriage without reservation? Good.

Michael... Do you take Candice to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?

And Candice...do you take Michael to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both shall live?

And so now by the powers vested in I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. (they both kind of looked at me so I had to say "that's all it takes...you're now married")

Whole thing took about 90 seconds.

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"Through the lips, past the gums

Intertwine tongues and grab her buns.

Yay God.

Now go 'do it' before I change my mind and unmarry you.

The rest of you people get lost. There's a disc golf tournament starting in 5 minutes."

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Anyone have any good advice for dealing with an alcoholic? Like a real one...not a GMTAN one

75 year old step dad basically drinking himself to death and gets verbally abusive to my mom if she asks him to stop or get help

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Anyone have any good advice for dealing with an alcoholic? Like a real one...not a GMTAN one

75 year old step dad basically drinking himself to death and gets verbally abusive to my mom if she asks him to stop or get help

I gotta be honest, by that age i don't think there's much you can do to change the stripes on that tiger. Keep the weapons out of the house and don't antagonize him. Up to her as to how much she wants to put up with. I've known and dealt with many alcoholics but there's not much you can say to convince them once they have reached that age/stage. Wish I had better advice. Good luck.

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Yeah that's what I figured

Knew he drank a lot but didn't realize he was that nasty to her...has never hit her and don't think he ever would (I know that she would not take that)

Unfortunately don't think she is the type that will leave him

Oh and he's currently in ER for brain hemorrhage...don't know if from a fall or something else. Hopefully nothing life threatening but I know he won't change his ways if it is related

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I want to start an organic cornmeal company and call it 'Natural Corn Millers'.

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I'm gonna get some tonight :pickle:

That is all.

Cool, now I can take out prayers from the thoughts and prayers I usually do for you.

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Anyone have any good advice for dealing with an alcoholic? Like a real one...not a GMTAN one

75 year old step dad basically drinking himself to death and gets verbally abusive to my mom if she asks him to stop or get help

Trip him with sharp objects around?

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I'm gonna get some tonight :pickle:

That is all.

How do you know? I approach every single day with that attitude and am usually let down.
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I'm gonna get some tonight :pickle:

That is all.

How do you know? I approach every single day with that attitude and am usually let down.
:lmao: won a bet
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For Sale sign up in my front yard. Never sold a house before. Imagine it is painless and seamless and full of ease.

"Must plant a St. Joseph figure in your yard." - my Catholic wife

:mellow:

When it sold she said that was the reason. I would not be able to convince her otherwise.

I worship at the Church of the Illusive Birdie.

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I want to start an organic cornmeal company and call it 'Natural Corn Millers'.

Is this from that FB status update subscription thing Dodds used to use?

:lol:

No, just random crap that goes through my head.

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I wish that instead of using a toilet I could walk around the yard for a while, then find a magic spot, slowly circle around it while lowering my ###, then squat at let it rip. Dogs are lucky.

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I wish that instead of using a toilet I could walk around the yard for a while, then find a magic spot, slowly circle around it while lowering my ###, then squat at let it rip. Dogs are lucky.

Yeah, that's much better than being able to tongue your own junk.

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When people say "it's just a dog" when referring to a pet, I want to beat them with a tire iron.

I feel the same way when they say, "Hello."

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So I'm at Kroger and walking up to cash out. There are 3 cashier lanes wide open and they are staring me down. So I just walk up to the nearest lane to me and start placing my items on the belt.

This old lady cashier yells at me for having more than 15 items in my cart. I had no idea I was in he 15 items or less line and immediately apologized. I felt like a complete idiot. So I started collecting my items to leave.

This old lady was not done giving me the business. "You should pay attention to which line you are in." (Mind you I had 17 items in my cart, albeit big items, so she must have been the rain man of cashiers)

So I said, "No wonder you guys are going out of business." She says "Kroger isn't going out of business, sir." To which I said, "No, I meant old people."

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This old lady was not done giving me the business. "You should pay attention to which line you are in." (Mind you I had 17 items in my cart, albeit big items, so she must have been the rain man of cashiers)

So I said, "No wonder you guys are going out of business." She says "Kroger isn't going out of business, sir." To which I said, "No, I meant old people."

:lmao:

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I was at the gas station and a skinny nerd looking kid was wearing a shirt that said "Blink if you want me". Also looked like he had all 3 flavors in his slurpee.

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So I'm at Kroger and walking up to cash out. There are 3 cashier lanes wide open and they are staring me down. So I just walk up to the nearest lane to me and start placing my items on the belt.

This old lady cashier yells at me for having more than 15 items in my cart. I had no idea I was in he 15 items or less line and immediately apologized. I felt like a complete idiot. So I started collecting my items to leave.

This old lady was not done giving me the business. "You should pay attention to which line you are in." (Mind you I had 17 items in my cart, albeit big items, so she must have been the rain man of cashiers)

So I said, "No wonder you guys are going out of business." She says "Kroger isn't going out of business, sir." To which I said, "No, I meant old people."

I want to believe this really happened.

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So I'm at Kroger and walking up to cash out. There are 3 cashier lanes wide open and they are staring me down. So I just walk up to the nearest lane to me and start placing my items on the belt.

This old lady cashier yells at me for having more than 15 items in my cart. I had no idea I was in he 15 items or less line and immediately apologized. I felt like a complete idiot. So I started collecting my items to leave.

This old lady was not done giving me the business. "You should pay attention to which line you are in." (Mind you I had 17 items in my cart, albeit big items, so she must have been the rain man of cashiers)

So I said, "No wonder you guys are going out of business." She says "Kroger isn't going out of business, sir." To which I said, "No, I meant old people."

I want to believe this really happened.

I say "no wonder you are going out of business" any time I have a problem at a store. Try it some time.

If they care about the company at all, you know the type, they get real defensive or scared. Then there are those that just laugh it off.

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So I'm at Kroger and walking up to cash out. There are 3 cashier lanes wide open and they are staring me down. So I just walk up to the nearest lane to me and start placing my items on the belt.

This old lady cashier yells at me for having more than 15 items in my cart. I had no idea I was in he 15 items or less line and immediately apologized. I felt like a complete idiot. So I started collecting my items to leave.

This old lady was not done giving me the business. "You should pay attention to which line you are in." (Mind you I had 17 items in my cart, albeit big items, so she must have been the rain man of cashiers)

So I said, "No wonder you guys are going out of business." She says "Kroger isn't going out of business, sir." To which I said, "No, I meant old people."

I want to believe this really happened.

I say "no wonder you are going out of business" any time I have a problem at a store. Try it some time.

If they care about the company at all, you know the type, they get real defensive or scared. Then there are those that just laugh it off.

"The special cabinet hardware I ordered last month still hasn't come in? No wonder you're going out of business."

"Actually I'm going out of business because my wife was killed by a drunk driver 3 weeks ago and I don't have the heart to care about anything. Thanks though."

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