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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (14 Viewers)

With so many people talking about their weight during the holidays I decided to take a look at my own weight.  I'm 5'10" and about 170 lbs.  Clearly I'm dangerously underweight.  I decided on a slow, steady gorging process combined with ### horizontalogy.  I'm going to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group, and the chocotastic group.  I'm also thinking about how to get creative, such as using pop tarts instead of bread for a sandwich or instead of chewing gum, I will chew bacon.

 
RC94 said:
With so many people talking about their weight during the holidays I decided to take a look at my own weight.  I'm 5'10" and about 170 lbs.  Clearly I'm dangerously underweight.  I decided on a slow, steady gorging process combined with ### horizontalogy.  I'm going to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group, and the chocotastic group.  I'm also thinking about how to get creative, such as using pop tarts instead of bread for a sandwich or instead of chewing gum, I will chew bacon.
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Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?

 
I finished 2nd place in the FBG subscriber contest.  Won 4 racks.  Missed 1st place and 20 racks by .45 points. I admit I've thought "just one more reception" a couple of times but that's it. Seriously happy and shocked I did as well as I did.  Look how dumb my lineup is compared to everyone else, sooooo lucky.

Despite being a halfway through his junior year in HS Cal is getting letters from colleges daily.  I feel like I'm about to turn 90.

Dyl is losing his mind with restrictions in place.  He'll be 14 in March and closing in on 6'3.  Lack of sports is pissing him off and I don't blame him.  It probably doesn't help how many times I've told he and his brother you're only (this age) once. lol

I finally got Mrs. SLB a full time job. YUGE saving in medical and she gets paid considerably more. Plus it's doing what she loves an assisting in surgery. My path to retirement looks a little more clear.

Honestly, working too much, still trying to save the world, as well as keep the peace in the house.  Remember won 4 racks, pretty happy about it. ;)

Love you all

 
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I was a heavy drinker in college so when I turned 21 I actually did 21 shots.  The last shot they got me was Wild Turkey and Tabasco.  They called it a Buffalo Sweat.  It was unpleasant. 

 
Yesterday we woke up to 2"-3" of wet snow with a topping of ice.  Today took the kids to the local sledding hill, and sure enough everyone sledding yesterday packed down the snow and we had a hill of almost pure ice.   Wife wanted to stay at the bottom and get some pictures, our first kid to go down took a slight turn half way down and took out my wife's ankle.  It was to the point that the other parents on top of the hill all reacted.  She spent the next 3 hours in the car.  It was a blast watching various kids try to climb the hill, drop their sled and watch it slide down to the bottom, or slip and slide down on their knees.  Towards the end a family showed up with a metal saucer (think the National Lampoons) and sure enough that kid was flying down the hill, when the saucer would turn you could see the terror in his eyes.

 
UOFI_316 said:
Yesterday we woke up to 2"-3" of wet snow with a topping of ice.  Today took the kids to the local sledding hill, and sure enough everyone sledding yesterday packed down the snow and we had a hill of almost pure ice.   Wife wanted to stay at the bottom and get some pictures, our first kid to go down took a slight turn half way down and took out my wife's ankle.  It was to the point that the other parents on top of the hill all reacted.  She spent the next 3 hours in the car.  It was a blast watching various kids try to climb the hill, drop their sled and watch it slide down to the bottom, or slip and slide down on their knees.  Towards the end a family showed up with a metal saucer (think the National Lampoons) and sure enough that kid was flying down the hill, when the saucer would turn you could see the terror in his eyes.
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It was uncanny how those things rotated so you could no longer see the one damn enormous tree that is at the bottom of any proper sledding hill. Nothing within a hundred yards to either side and somehow you would rotate backwards and be convinced you were about to plunge into the Ardennes.

 
Rustoleum said:
It was uncanny how those things rotated so you could no longer see the one damn enormous tree that is at the bottom of any proper sledding hill. Nothing within a hundred yards to either side and somehow you would rotate backwards and be convinced you were about to plunge into the Ardennes.
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:lol:  yeah, i took out two kids on a hill when i was in that 9 - 10 year old range. sliced right through their legs and sent them flying through the air like bowling pins.

i never saw them because i'd spun around and was just holding on for dear life.

 
It all started last night with "I have a quick question" and just ended with the most surreal conversation of my adult life. 

The quick question was from my dad, hey do you know anything about Netflix? Yeah, I watch it all the time.  Just finished watching a show a few minutes ago actually.  You should check it out. 

Oh ok. Which one should I get, the classic or the premium or the... 

Wait, what are you looking at?  Are you getting dvds? 

I don't know why is netflix dvds?  

My dad is not technical.  At all.  This is important to the story. 

 
So I tell him Netflix used to do dvds but now you can just watch everything on demand. 

Whats on demand.

Dad we've been through this.  Several times. Go get your TV remote. 

I've got it. 

Now hit the on demand button. 

I dont have an on demand button i just have channel and volume and power.  

Ok go get the other remote the cable remote. 

Oh OK on demand there it is.  

####. 

What?

Nothing. Click on demand what do you see 

It says Tokyo and pennyworth.  

What? Ok thats not what I see. Click menu. 

I dont see menu

Oh for ####s sake. Scroll down then. 

Ok it says movies and television and by something and a to z. 

By something? Is that by genre?

By what?

G E N R E. 

I dont see it. 

Ok, what do you see

It says movies, television, by gen... G E N R E

Ok that's the one see you can look at all the dramas or action movies or those westerns you like

What's adult?

That's adult movies

Is that porn?

Yeah

Oh are those free?

No

Oh ok so how do I get to Netflix 

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
:drive:
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Fair enough GB. :lmao:

Should include that my proudest moment of being a dad to date is when I asked my boys if they would rather have Christmas presents or help feed the poor.  The reaction was immediate, they would rather help feed the poor.  Now, we got them both a little something but nowhere close to normal.  Please keep in mind these are my genetic offspring and are major jackholes that make my life miserable more times than not but hey, score one for attrition.

 
Ok get out of this let's try menu

Ok (by now he's forgotten his false sense of confidence that there was no menu button and just clicks menu, which was there all along)

Do you guide save on demand sports apps?  

No where is that

Ok let's get Phyllis on the phone 

(Phyllis is his third wife. They got married after I married my wife, so I'm not sure what you call her. Stepmother seems weird.  So, phyllis). 

Hi Freddy how are you 

I'm good can you get your tablet

ok

Do you remember how to use zoom

I think so

I can just text you the link

Oh I need to use my phone for that 

####. I mean Why?  

Because I can't get texts on my tablet

Seems reasonable 

I text her the zoom link, they figure it out and try to show me the TV, but every time they turn the phone around so the camera faces the television, they turn off the camera.  I'm just saying, this is a long conversation. We hang up, I tell them to call Comcast and get the new box, explain what a DVR is... i have a DVR, thats the disks, right? ####....should be all set until they need help with the new box... it was not 

 
bostonfred said:
So I tell him Netflix used to do dvds but now you can just watch everything on demand. 

Whats on demand.

Dad we've been through this.  Several times. Go get your TV remote. 

I've got it. 

Now hit the on demand button. 

I dont have an on demand button i just have channel and volume and power.  

Ok go get the other remote the cable remote. 

Oh OK on demand there it is.  

####. 

What?

Nothing. Click on demand what do you see 

It says Tokyo and pennyworth.  

What? Ok thats not what I see. Click menu. 

I dont see menu

Oh for ####s sake. Scroll down then. 

Ok it says movies and television and by something and a to z. 

By something? Is that by genre?

By what?

G E N R E. 

I dont see it. 

Ok, what do you see

It says movies, television, by gen... G E N R E

Ok that's the one see you can look at all the dramas or action movies or those westerns you like

What's adult?

That's adult movies

Is that porn?

Yeah

Oh are those free?

No

Oh ok so how do I get to Netflix 
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I never knew GM was your dad.

 
My octogenarian parents are both capable of operating their DVR independently of each other, so Pops can watch something he recorded in the living room and Granny can watch something she recorded in the bedroom.  They sleep together, they frequently watch TV separately. Sixty-two years, folks.

 
kevzilla said:
My octogenarian parents are both capable of operating their DVR independently of each other, so Pops can watch something he recorded in the living room and Granny can watch something she recorded in the bedroom.  They sleep together, they frequently watch TV separately. Sixty-two years, folks.
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My in-laws are similar. Dueling DVRs and Words With Friends 25 feet apart yelling at each other “it’s your turn” every 5-10 minutes. They have 3 “offices” and whose house will become their final resting place like Egyptian pharaohs with all their worldly belongings. 

 
Apparently the proper response to, "I'm not trying to be a pain in the ###, but..." is NOT, "After all these years, you think I don't know it comes effortlessly?"

 
Dan Lambskin said:
Anyone else popping edibles and drinking heavily?
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We were supposed to have 3 couples over tonight, but my buddy woke up with a sore throat this morning. Apparently we're no longer allowed to ignore that and drink ourselves to the brink of death in order to kill it off. So I guess I have to drink his share, too, out of respect.

(From everything I'm reading solo sore throat is pretty far down the list of likely covid indications, so I'm comfortable still making jokes for now)

No edibles, though.

 
Mamma Floppa is 85 and has been using a computer since the early 80s. No problem with emails, surfing the internet, zoom, cel phones, texting, tablets, etc...but damned if any moving image not seen live on TV isn't still called a "video tape".

Happy new years, friends. Genuinely happy to know you all. 

 
Lomez said:
We were supposed to have 3 couples over tonight, but my buddy woke up with a sore throat this morning. Apparently we're no longer allowed to ignore that and drink ourselves to the brink of death in order to kill it off. So I guess I have to drink his share, too, out of respect.

(From everything I'm reading solo sore throat is pretty far down the list of likely covid indications, so I'm comfortable still making jokes for now)

No edibles, though.
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was supposed to go to a friend’s house for dinner and games for New Years, but found out today that I may have been exposed.  I’m not really worried about it because it was a very brief amount of time, but not going to risk it so I’m staying in, watching movies and drinking bourbon.  

 
Rustoleum said:
It was uncanny how those things rotated so you could no longer see the one damn enormous tree that is at the bottom of any proper sledding hill. Nothing within a hundred yards to either side and somehow you would rotate backwards and be convinced you were about to plunge into the Ardennes.
Click to expand...
Well, the kid's parents did send him off the one side that had trees at the bottom.  The kid managed to avoid them on the way down, but they were on a slight uphill slope, and when he slowly came back down he did hit one 😆

The other side of the hill had a good 300 yards with a small hill in the middle.  One girl, maybe 7 (no Homer) just laid down in a plastic tobagon, and went all the way to the end into what I assume was a frozen creek bed.  A few minutes later she started walking back up to the hill.

There was one younger girl who would walk halfway up the hill and just fall into her sled and go back down.  Did that about 10 times before she finally made it to top.

 
Most awesome thing I ever saw sledding was when I was a kid. We used to go sled riding down the terraced hill of the McKinley Monument. You’d hit those terraces and go flying in the air.

One day there were a number of people sledding and two kids that didn’t know each other were going down the hill at the same time in plastic toboggans. When they hit the top terrace it bounced the one kid up in the air and he actually landed in the bag of the other kid’s sled and rode down the rest of the way with the other kid.

They ended up shutting down the hill because it was just too dangerous between the terraces, the trees at the bottom and the creek shortly after the trees.

 
Lomez said:
Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
Click to expand...
"Dont chew gum, chew bacon!"

St. Louis Bob said:
Honestly, working too much, still trying to save the world, as well as keep the peace in the house.  Remember won 4 racks, pretty happy about it. ;)

Love you all
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Hey, look who it is?!  Good for you, mang.

Need to figurw out how to get MY bride a full time gig.  7 months and counting.  😕

Dan Lambskin said:
Anyone else popping edibles and drinking heavily?
Click to expand...
Edibles? No.  Drinking?  Yeah, pretty sure im fairly "drinks" at this point.

Happy almost New Year, ya filthy animals.

 
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