Reminds me of the time so long ago, what a month, when Rok;'s friend the Chef was going to have Rok manage his new Restaurant/Coke distributorship. Some guy he had recently met was so impressed with Rok's ability to do a line that he was going to risk his reputation and capital on having Rok run his new company, that in spite of absolutely no experience doing so.
Time to stop looking for others to validate your life. Time to put away fantasies and excuses. Past time to start working on yourself. Spend the money you spend self-medicating on real treatment. Take positive steps everyday, and build on them, one on top of another. But no, instead he is already in love with a woman he does not know. He will change his life. He will be Daddy to her son, another avenue already gone down what, two months ago.
I hope he gets mad at me. I hope he decides to prove me wrong, to shut me up. I hope he motivates. I dare him to do so. I want him to have a career, not a job. I want him to find mental health even if the path to that is anger at me. I want him to have a healthy relationship, not one that is responsible for fixing him, put one he gets as a result of fixing himself. All it takes is hard work, giving up feeling sorry for himself.
As for me commenting on your work ethic, working nearly full time, training new folks into the intricacies of serving tables, being assigned to busy shifts when everybody is assigned because, well its a busy shift, that shows me nothing. You want to show me something, show up sober. After your shift put your money in a bank instead of up your nose. Stop playing video games and angry music during your free time and do something positive, learn a new skill, volunteer somewhere, meet folks working towards a future instead of dwelling on your past, get outside yourself, frankly inside yourself is not all that interesting.
Don't like the free advice, don't invite it by posting.