What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Healing And Moving Forward - Thoughts? (2 Viewers)

Are you a physician?
Wait, are you saying that trained health professionals might have a better informed opinion than a politician or some keyboard warrior on the internet when it comes to health related matters? CAREFUL, you are approaching a very slippery slope. At least to some people.

 
I'm not feeling good about this.  Refusing to acknowledge the election result is a bad start, especially if the claim is being made by one who was newly elected.  The claims that COVID-19 is a media hoax is another.  Everything piece of good news for the left will be followed by some right wing conspiracy response.  Without a trust in basic facts, there can't be any healing

 
I'm not feeling good about this.  Refusing to acknowledge the election result is a bad start, especially if the claim is being made by one who was newly elected.  The claims that COVID-19 is a media hoax is another.  Everything piece of good news for the left will be followed by some right wing conspiracy response.  Without a trust in basic facts, there can't be any healing
You are correct, though in the post right above yours, Tim linked an article where almost 80% of Americans believe Biden won, which is a good first step if true(polls are weird now). There is still a lot that has to happen, but everything in good time.

 
This includes 60% of Republicans. I’ve read about two polls on this. One at 30% of Republicans and this one at 60%. That’s such a huge difference that I don’t know what to believe yet.
This is what I meant when I wrote that people don’t know what they believe. My assumption is that both polls are true, that many Republicans believe that the election was stolen from Trump, and that Biden won the election. If that seems contradictory, well, people are contradictory. 

 
Cool.  Or some people preferred Trump and the Republican agenda to Hillary or Biden and the Democratic agenda.

But I guess calling the other side evil or stupid does help stir up the vote.
This is obviously true...the problem then becomes a moral one that those people get really pissy about when brought to their attention.  This is exactly why I've chosen to put my moral compass before my political desires.  I simply can't get on board with moral corruption simply because the person shares the same political desire.

 
One of the problems in this thread seems to be that people are reluctant to start doing the types of things that would help create the healing and moving forward of others.  You see those on the left arguing that it would be showing some form of acceptance to the behavior of the past four years (or longer).  That we shouldn't, we cannot look past what some of this has meant.  On the right we get "yeah, sure now that your are on top you want...".  But maybe that really misses the point.  

This isn't a religious thread and its been a while since I have seen one of those but when we had them I have often labeled myself a "love thy neighbor" christian.  The "c" is lower case for a reason.  That is even though I believe in a bunch of other stuff that is Christianity at the end of the day what really matters is that I believe that living a life of "love thy neighbor" is what we are intended to do.   That even if I one day no longer believed in any of the rest of the stuff I would still believe in this.   Basically living a selfless life.  While I don't always have the courage to live my life this way, to trust what I am claiming to know I think being selfless is selfishly the path to happiness.

In context of this thread maybe we should do the kinds of things that may or may not  help others heal and move forward, even those that we may have reason to resent or dislike or disrespect or whatever simply because it will help us to heal and move forward.   I kind of think that calling it "forgiving and forgetting" is going to be taken as another example of condescension of those being forgiven so that is probably counterproductive to do "publicly".   But to quietly forgive others of their sins and doing the best to forget what we think is "evil" about them is probably a good idea for our own self being.   (Besides some of the best people in the world to know and have your back would fall in the "basket of deplorables" for one reason or another.)

So maybe it isn't time to try to heal and move forward a nation, but maybe it is time to try and heal and move forward myself.  I can't really drag anyone else along, but maybe it won't really matter.  And maybe this time if enough people do what is best for themselves that we slowly do what is best for the nation.  We can slowly heal and move forward as a nation by being selfless for purely selfish reasons.   But if not maybe I can just be happier. 

As noted earlier this is easy for me to say, I believe it.  It is harder though to have the courage to actually live it.  

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Bottomfeeder Sports said:
One of the problems in this thread seems to be that people are reluctant to start doing the types of things that would help create the healing and moving forward of others.  You see those on the left arguing that it would be showing some form of acceptance to the behavior of the past four years (or longer).  That we shouldn't, we cannot look past what some of this has meant.  On the right we get "yeah, sure now that your are on top you want...".  But maybe that really misses the point.  

This isn't a religious thread and its been a while since I have seen one of those but when we had them I have often labeled myself a "love thy neighbor" christian.  The "c" is lower case for a reason.  That is even though I believe in a bunch of other stuff that is Christianity at the end of the day what really matters is that I believe that living a life of "love thy neighbor" is what we are intended to do.   That even if I one day no longer believed in any of the rest of the stuff I would still believe in this.   Basically living a selfless life.  While I don't always have the courage to live my life this way, to trust what I am claiming to know I think being selfless is selfishly the path to happiness.

In context of this thread maybe we should do the kinds of things that may or may not  help others heal and move forward, even those that we may have reason to resent or dislike or disrespect or whatever simply because it will help us to heal and move forward.   I kind of think that calling it "forgiving and forgetting" is going to be taken as another example of condescension of those being forgiven so that is probably counterproductive to do "publicly".   But to quietly forgive others of their sins and doing the best to forget what we think is "evil" about them is probably a good idea for our own self being.   (Besides some of the best people in the world to know and have your back would fall in the "basket of deplorables" for one reason or another.)

So maybe it isn't time to try to heal and move forward a nation, but maybe it is time to try and heal and move forward myself.  I can't really drag anyone else along, but maybe it won't really matter.  And maybe this time if enough people do what is best for themselves that we slowly do what is best for the nation.  We can slowly heal and move forward as a nation by being selfless for purely selfish reasons.   But if not maybe I can just be happier. 

As noted earlier this is easy for me to say, I believe it.  It is harder though to have the courage to actually live it.  
:goodposting:    I think it's exactly this. A ton of this is about US. We control how we move forward. We can be proactive. It's why I loved Buttigieg's post about connecting with a friend or loved one that voted differently. Not to talk politics. But to rekindle and remind yourself of why you love them in the first place.

I can't control the other person. I can only control myself and move forward the best I can. I have strong opinions on the best way for doing that. But almost all of them are related to how we see the people who are on the other side and how we have a role in the healing and bringing us back together. 

 
Political tribalism is a problem.

The MSM and social media profits from the outrage culture and shock marketing. It doesn't help that the news industry has become top heavy and the overall size has been reduced to a few major power players. What happens is radical elements of the left and right are demonized as the embodiment of the entire party. If you really sit down and talk to most liberals, you'll find many have some classically conservative views. If you sit down and talk to most conservatives, you'll find many have a few classically liberal views as well. But it's easier to paint all conservatives as angry gun toting pro life Trumpers in big gas guzzling trucks covered in flags and can't wait to go shoot some minorities. And it's easier to paint liberals as all furry woke cancel culture tree hugging vegan soft serve manlets with aching manginas who sip mineral water out of a wine glass.

I don't think there is any real moving forward. There's no profit nor ratings in it.

Where do most Americans spend their day? At work and/or at school. What free time they get they mire themselves in mass media entertainment. All have been invaded by the woke/cancel culture. There is no healing if half of the people can't talk for fear of being ostracized or losing their jobs and reputation.

I don't think there will ever be healing, I do think peace can be had. Take for example, Seattle. Without people screwing it up, a beautiful city normally. The best thing for a situation like that is for the conservative minded to leave. Move and take their votes and tax dollars with them. It's going to be easier to have peace when you have entire areas that are purely liberal or purely conservative. You want to defund the police? Do it. Go on, just do it when everyone who feels otherwise has moved out. No arguments, then see if it works.

The idea of meeting in the middle is a very nice ideal. It's a nice thought about a world that's more tolerant than the one we have. But it's not functional in reality.

It's pointless to argue with people. Just ghost them and wish them happiness far away from you.

 
I miss the days when if people told you they were Democrat or Republican (or liberal or conservative) you still didn’t know everything about them.

How do we heal?  I don’t know.  It’s going to take me a while to get over a lot of the ugliness I have seen from people over the last 4 years.  People I thought were good and kind let their hatred of, or devotion to, one man make them completely forget themselves.  And what scares me the most is that they will look in the mirror, ask themselves if they were part of the problem, and say “nope”.   
 

I’m keeping myself to myself these days.  

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I don't think there will ever be healing, I do think peace can be had. Take for example, Seattle. Without people screwing it up, a beautiful city normally. The best thing for a situation like that is for the conservative minded to leave. Move and take their votes and tax dollars with them. It's going to be easier to have peace when you have entire areas that are purely liberal or purely conservative. You want to defund the police? Do it. Go on, just do it when everyone who feels otherwise has moved out. No arguments, then see if it works.
This is something I’ve given a lot of thought to.  And I have wondered...if we somehow managed to split into 2 countries, say the “LSA” and “CSA”, how long would each country be happy until they each found something else to get divided by?  I think it’s just in our nature to divide ourselves into teams and compete. Like the old Emo Phillips joke.

 
Juxtatarot said:
This includes 60% of Republicans. I’ve read about two polls on this. One at 30% of Republicans and this one at 60%. That’s such a huge difference that I don’t know what to believe yet.
I'll tell you what to believe from polls.

Absolutely nothing.

Can't believe anyone actually puts faith in polls still.  Its absolutely mind boggling

 
Political tribalism is a problem.

The MSM and social media profits from the outrage culture and shock marketing. It doesn't help that the news industry has become top heavy and the overall size has been reduced to a few major power players. What happens is radical elements of the left and right are demonized as the embodiment of the entire party. If you really sit down and talk to most liberals, you'll find many have some classically conservative views. If you sit down and talk to most conservatives, you'll find many have a few classically liberal views as well. But it's easier to paint all conservatives as angry gun toting pro life Trumpers in big gas guzzling trucks covered in flags and can't wait to go shoot some minorities. And it's easier to paint liberals as all furry woke cancel culture tree hugging vegan soft serve manlets with aching manginas who sip mineral water out of a wine glass.

I don't think there is any real moving forward. There's no profit nor ratings in it.

Where do most Americans spend their day? At work and/or at school. What free time they get they mire themselves in mass media entertainment. All have been invaded by the woke/cancel culture. There is no healing if half of the people can't talk for fear of being ostracized or losing their jobs and reputation.


I agree with this. I think we're a lot more alike than different. I think it's easy and lazy and profitable to generalize huge groups into ridiculous caricatures with the main reason the other side can point to them and laugh. It's partly why people think I'm oversensitive to the mocking stuff.

This kind of generalizations in my opinion is where much of the cancel culture comes from. "You voted for this person who is a member of the ____________ party? Then you MUST be just like this ridiculous caricature so I have to fire you". It's absurd.

I don't think there will ever be healing, I do think peace can be had. Take for example, Seattle. Without people screwing it up, a beautiful city normally. The best thing for a situation like that is for the conservative minded to leave. Move and take their votes and tax dollars with them. It's going to be easier to have peace when you have entire areas that are purely liberal or purely conservative. You want to defund the police? Do it. Go on, just do it when everyone who feels otherwise has moved out. No arguments, then see if it works.

The idea of meeting in the middle is a very nice ideal. It's a nice thought about a world that's more tolerant than the one we have. But it's not functional in reality.

It's pointless to argue with people. Just ghost them and wish them happiness far away from you.
This part I strongly disagree with. 

It's not a black and white line but I see the pull away and leave option as pretty far down the line. 

I think too many people see that as the easy option. Instead of working through differences, and trying to understand the other side, everyone just rushes to their echo chamber bubble where everyone thinks like them. And it builds. It's why I've hoped for more diversity in thought here. 

It's nuanced though. People love to make fun of where I used to say there are other boards out there for people if they don't like how we do things and people should find a place where they're happy. That's true, but it's a spectrum. 

So, I strongly disagree with the latter parts of your post. I don't think we all should leave early. I think we stick it out and do our best to work through and leaving is further down the line of options.

Arguing for many people is snarky jabs with words and zingers and keeping score with the goal of showing how smart they are and how dumb or wrong the other side is. It's where they get their shots in calling the other side "deranged" or "loons".  I think that's worse than pointless. It's corrosive and damaging. But absolutely think it's worth while to discuss and learn with and see how others think. I hope we do more of that. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
This is something I’ve given a lot of thought to.  And I have wondered...if we somehow managed to split into 2 countries, say the “LSA” and “CSA”, how long would each country be happy until they each found something else to get divided by?  I think it’s just in our nature to divide ourselves into teams and compete. Like the old Emo Phillips joke.
I know I mentioned it earlier, but we managed to "heal" even though a huge portion of the country were horribly racist and angry that black people were being allowed to go to the same schools and their kids, and eat in the same diners and live in the same neighborhoods. And a huge portion of the country was abused so much that they couldn't walk into the the same businesses as other citizens without fear for their safety.

One group of people HATED the other group of people. They were forced to work it out, and we have been trying to work it out ever since. We'll get there with this. I have complete confidence. 

I fear that I was misunderstood when I suggested that we shouldn't be spending so much time worrying about the Trumpers "feelings." It's not that I don't think we should be compassionate to eachother. Or reach out to eachother. Or talk to eachother. And work towards finding common ground. But framing it as "understanding" the Trumper side without acknowledging that nobody really suggested "understanding" the non-Trumper side is . . . I don't know. Problematic, I guess.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
But framing it as "understanding" the Trumper side without acknowledging that nobody really suggested "understanding" the non-Trumper side is . . . I don't know. Problematic, I guess.
I think it's contextual. The vast majority of this forum is the Non Trumper side. We all pretty much understand ourselves. 

The talk here has been of trying to understand the Trumper side as that's not our side.

I"m guessing if I ran a board that was predominantly Trump supporters, we'd be talking a lot about understanding the non Trumper side.

What I don't agree with, even though it's how most people do it, is making seeking to understand conditional. I see tons of people who are interested in empathy or understanding of the other side only as long they are given the same courtesy. 

Ideally, that's not how it works. Ideally, empathy is not bargained for or conditional. But I fully acknowledge it's difficult to get beyond yourself and to that point. It is for me. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm supposed to accept racism as ok to begin healing?  I'm supposed to reserve judgement and just say fine lets be friends and go get ice cream together and wash it under the rug?  

The responsibility is on me to do this?  

If this is what healing means to you then yeah, count me out.  
I’m with you. While it’s certainly ok to avoid discussion of political “topics”, if offensive and/or inane rhetoric is mentioned, one can only sit in silence for so long before you’re complicit with what’s being said. Fortunately, there is a subset of people on the other “side” who can disagree respectfully and accept people who don’t share their worldview, but that number is dropping by the minute.

 
Fortunately, there is a subset of people on the other “side” who can disagree respectfully and accept people who don’t share their worldview, but that number is dropping by the minute.
Can you elaborate on why you think that number is dropping? 

And what we might do to raise that number?

 
Do we all do that once?  Every single day?   Once we've embedded that trait in our DNA, then what comes next?   Do you think that act alone is sufficient?   Or put differently....what specifically do you think this will solve?

(Note:  I'm not asking these questions because I dislike the idea; quite the contrary, it's a good idea.   But my favorite question at work is "what's the problem you are trying to solve?")
It’s a nice gesture, but kinda avoidant if the goal is reconciling differences.

 
It’s a nice gesture, but kinda avoidant if the goal is reconciling differences.
:confused:   He was responding to the Buttigieg tweet: "If someone you love and care about voted the other way, today might be a good day to reach out. Not to talk politics, but to talk about things that will remind them (and yourself) why you love and care about them."

 
Absolutely. But the unfortunate reality is, both liberals and conservatives will look at this statement thinking they’re the ones who know the facts, and the other guys are acting on emotion.
I know plenty of folks liberal, and conservative.....smart folks......who are convinced they know the truth, and they are convinced the other side is insane.....they are at COMPLETE odds on everything EXCEPT they pretty much want the same things......it's all based on fear, and it's only getting worse.

 
Many of my physician friends believe he shows dementia symptoms.   Now that's an unofficial diagnosis, but these are real physicians that understand what dementia looks like.
Physicians or not, your friends are acting up, as there is no way they could diagnose dementia based on what we know about Biden’s mental acuity.

But it would be great if you’d ask for the evidence they used to draw those conclusions. When you provide it, I’ll be happy to clarify why their claims are insufficient.

ETA And feel free to start another thread if you think this discussion needs to be carried further.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Absolutely. But the unfortunate reality is, both liberals and conservatives will look at this statement thinking they’re the ones who know the facts, and the other guys are acting on emotion.
I agree, that's why I didn't isolate a particular side. Regardless of your politics, if your stance is rooted in your feelings then you are part of the problem. The powers that be are playing you like a fiddle.

 
:confused:   He was responding to the Buttigieg tweet: "If someone you love and care about voted the other way, today might be a good day to reach out. Not to talk politics, but to talk about things that will remind them (and yourself) why you love and care about them."
I understand. Focusing on shared values and reasons we love one another is great, but it will never address key differences which divide us. 

 
I agree, that's why I didn't isolate a particular side. Regardless of your politics, if your stance is rooted in your feelings then you are part of the problem. The powers that be are playing you like a fiddle.
On top of that, so many people now seem to be incapable of considering the fact they may not have perfect and complete knowledge on something. It's arrogance. 

 
I understand. Focusing on shared values and reasons we love one another is great, but it will never address key differences which divide us. 
I disagree. I think it's a great way to further the relationship and allow discussion of differences. I think it's miles above just a nice gesture. I think a shared caring for each other is foundational 

 
I disagree. I think it's a great way to further the relationship and allow discussion of differences. I think it's miles above just a nice gesture. I think a shared caring for each other is foundational 
Yeah.  Another way to think of it is playing the long game.   We all want to win arguments and debates now, today.  We want others to accept our viewpoints immediately in the moment.  But it doesn’t work that way.  The Grand Canyon wasn’t carved out of stone overnight.

 
Yeah.  Another way to think of it is playing the long game.   We all want to win arguments and debates now, today.  We want others to accept our viewpoints immediately in the moment.  But it doesn’t work that way.  The Grand Canyon wasn’t carved out of stone overnight.
Agreed. I think that's a big part of it. We all want gratification and comfort now. 

This kind of relationship care and building isn't always comfortable. You might be challenged in what you believe. You might find someone you care about feels differently than you do. It's more comfortable to retreat to the bubble where we can all high five. But I don't think that's best for the long game. 

 
And we have to be smart about it, right?

It doesn't make sense for an Eagles fan to force themselves to learn to love living on a Cowboys message board. Just not enough upside. And it's not that important. 

But for our country and our regular all the time lives, and with people you care about, I think there's a lot more at stake. Even then though, there are obviously limits. The trick is just finding the balance. 

 
It isn't going to happen.  Civil war is coming when Trump wins reelection after the fraud is revealed.  A major problem is folks are watching the main stream media for their news and are being fed falsehoods.  4 years of not accepting the results of Trump winning and pursuing impeachment on no evidence has been awful.  It is only going to get worse unfortunately.
If the courts fail to recognize the fraud and grant Trump re-election, do you think there will still be civil war? 

 
It isn't going to happen.  Civil war is coming when Trump wins reelection after the fraud is revealed.  A major problem is folks are watching the main stream media for their news and are being fed falsehoods.  4 years of not accepting the results of Trump winning and pursuing impeachment on no evidence has been awful.  It is only going to get worse unfortunately.
What fraud? Be specific.

 
Because there’s no reason to believe increasing privatization of healthcare will help. 
You mean execpt for every other country that has better results at much lower costs.  If you exclude that and the rest of the rhetoric, you might be on to something.

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top