Friend applied for a job I formerly have but I don't think he's a good fit for it. Should I call my old job and give them my opinion? (1 Viewer)

belljr said:

Sorry DJack - while you do need to "learn" some subtleties - I don't think I knew you had to deal with that...

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I've been vocal about it in the past here. I stopped telling people as much when I had some people here about a year and a half ago make fun of the situation. Am not going create issues and name names or anything and some of those posters I haven't seen in awhile anyway. Plus I don't like it coming off as an excuse as some may take it 

SWC said:

yeah man i did not know about your aspergers my bad for clowning around with you best of luck and be well take that to the bank brohan 

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I honestly thought you were just being you joking around like you do 

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

I didn’t want to air his business but he told me that along time ago. I’ve long wished he would start a thread about it because I think everybody would be much more patient with him and just understand him better. 

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Had thought about this and other things but at the same time didn't want to make it look like an excuse but if a lot of people think I should do one then I might do it if many believe it will be helpful 

CFB Sicko said:

Ah, I gotcha. That's a fair pickle. What did you end up deciding to do?

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Read the post just below your reply. I was pretty honest about it. Manager there understood where I came from on the whole thing too and wasn't aware my friend hadn't told me I was referenced. He did think it was odd he'd reference me having not been there for over 5 yrs now. He said if I had just left or even a year ago he wouldn't think much about it but 5 yrs is strange. Not only was I honest but I made some suggestions to help my friend too. 

Is something wrong with you? 

So you're going to break up with him.

I don't think he is going to take the news the way you think he's going to take the news. 

And after the whole reference fiasco, you are going to tell him to be grateful and that you might play Madden with him again?  You may want to bring headgear to this meeting.

So, lemme get this straight...

You're worried about your buddy's ability to manage a Gamestop... Yet this same company you're "trying to save" is asking YOU why your buddy has had "so many" employers in the past?

What kind of reference question is that for them to ask? and it was 100% not a question for you to even attempt to answer. 

Also, if I can be blunt - you disclosing your buddy's learning disabilities was completely uncalled for. 

Might as well call your buddy and tell him to keep looking at this point 

Hey DJax I apologize for my somewhat light-hearted take to your post (given the crazy movements of the Game Stop stock price lately).

Your friend did put you in a tough spot not asking first.  I'm digging around for a good "how to give a reference" article that gives the right context.  I will see if I can find one - maybe other folks in the thread have one they can recommend.

I think you did your best under the circumstances but what I would say for future information is that as others have said you shouldn't volunteer any of your friend's medical/personal matters.  It is fair to give general strengths weaknesses but you probably went a little more detailed than was necessary.  You can be honest without having to say everything if that makes sense.

I also would generally suggest doing recommendations where the would-be employer calls or emails you and you can reply in that context - in person recommendations are unusual.  

It seems that the GS managers pumped you too much for info - another disadvantage of doing that in person.

Anyway let us know how it turns out.  And I hope you aren't too hard on your friend - they were just trying to get a good job and given the ups and downs of his prior jobs he felt like you could give him a fair shake.

Cheers to you 

-QG

Soulfly3 said:

So, lemme get this straight...

You're worried about your buddy's ability to manage a Gamestop... Yet this same company you're "trying to save" is asking YOU why your buddy has had "so many" employers in the past?

What kind of reference question is that for them to ask? and it was 100% not a question for you to even attempt to answer. 

Also, if I can be blunt - you disclosing your buddy's learning disabilities was completely uncalled for. 

Might as well call your buddy and tell him to keep looking at this point 

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How so? I keep telling him he needs to tell people this so he can get all the all the help that is afforded to him in a company.They were actually pretty appreciative of this and not only that even said we do have resources we can give him without making it look like anyone said anything either. 

Yes they wanted to know if my answers if I knew anything would be similar to his. They said they've had references before who have had different stories. Had a guy who said he left on good terms however apparently was fired. 

DJackson10 said:

How so? I keep telling him he needs to tell people this

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exactly. it's his story to tell.

DJackson10 said:

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

I didn’t want to air his business but he told me that along time ago. I’ve long wished he would start a thread about it because I think everybody would be much more patient with him and just understand him better. 

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Had thought about this and other things but at the same time didn't want to make it look like an excuse but if a lot of people think I should do one then I might do it if many believe it will be helpful 

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Hey gb... I think this is a GREAT idea.

Don't sweat it being an excuse, although I appreciate that sentiment.

I think it would be an amazing opportunity for the community here to learn and grow a ton by hearing from you. And its clear you're not alone- people in the community might be on the spectrum or have family that is and be able to learn from or add to the conversation. And hopefully posting stuff here (and I've always been a huge fan of your bravery and confidence for doing it here previously) will help you learn and grow more too.

Just don't post any of that milan crap.