130143 replies to this topic

[General Malaise]

The immediate post after this one won't make any sense whatsoever. Whatever the hell it was I thought I was posting here initially was dumb. But what's not dumb is what's followed. It's a collective work, with contributions from some of this boards best and brightest. In here, you'll find wedding updates from me, adventures in the life of St. Louis Bob, a romantic epic from Homer Simpson, a recap of Bonzai's trip to Germany to watch their squad play in the World Cup, Cosjobs' masterpiece and snaptastic, witty replies by the best online miscreants I know...Bob Sacamano, Bob in Saint Louis, Tanner Boyle, Truck, Shuke, Stryker, Tecumseh, Nigel Tufnel, Tiger Fan, Pickles, Krista, YSR, Fatguy, Boston Fred, Ferris, Frosty, Stu, Thorn, Gadzooks, Cosjobs, TRE, Frosty, wadegarrett, Bogart, Ricky in Arabia, Facock, Bobby Layne, Guster, Homer, Early, Desert Rose, Bently, Rude, Dharm, Mr. Pack, Pigskin P(HI!), Rover, Drifter, Kev, Charv, Jeep, Hack and if I missed anyone, please let me know.

This thread is safeguarded by Rudnicki. He's got our back, and we've got his. Chip into the beer fund for Rude to keep this thread alive.

A tribute to what was, what should be and what can be: The FFA




Highlights:

My Sister's Reaction to my Mom's Awkward Bridal Shower Toast

Ice Cream Man Fake Out

Moustache Bet Loser

Classic Tannerisms

Wedding Diaries

The Cosjobs Masterpiece

Krista Introduces us to 'Dickmitten'

Shuke's Warning

The Sacamano Slam

Shuke and GM on the Amazing Race?

Frosty Tempts Fate

Thorn on CBS

St. Louis Bob vs. Baskin Robbins

My Vuvuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzela

Triscuit Love

Running With Scissors Runs Game with the Ladies

Kendall Stop: Hammer Time

Rhyme Time

Destiney Calls Homer

Gadzooks Links Geraldo, Stolen Thongs & Bachelorettes Together

BONZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drunk Thread

Sarnoff's Insider's View into Sitcoms - Great Stuff Everything you ever wanted to know about 'Laugh Tracks'

St. Louis Bob celebrates the Cardinals World Series Win.

HOCK MENG TAY!!!

"Bfred advises GM on how to score some dopamine."

"These pages need to be indexed."

And now, for the first annual Cosjobs UH GMTANhole in Austin:

Ok, the First Annual GMTAN urukcoshole is confirmed.

Feb 1 (Friday) thru Feb 4 (Monday)

I am going to block out all available rooms at coshouse. This will give us 4 king Brs, 3 Queen Brs, two sleeper sofas and several cots or rollaways. Depending whether we have couples or homos willing to share a bed, I should be able to put up 10-15 guests. I have also contacted some nearby airbnb houses and YSR may ahve a friend with a house, too. So we can probably have up to about 20 guests total, including a couple of locals (Bentley, kevzilla, etc.)

I will get you picked up at the airport Friday and bring you back there Monday.

All meals, except Sat night dinner, and all booze is included.

I need to have eight paid commitments by 12/1/12 or I will need to pull the plug and cancel.

Cost will be $275 stag or $500 for a couple sharing a bed. Stags sleeping on a cot get another $50 discount.

Scholarships will be available if one of you want to come, but have cash issues. This will be strictly between you and me.

You can see the house at www.albertoaks.com, I have blocked out all rooms for SB weekend.

Friday - arrivals, airport pickups, getting settled into rooms.
Welcome bbq with beef brisket and pulled pork.
I will have cases of beer and wine and Margaritas set up for everyone to visit and relax after their journey.
Saturday - Big Brunch around 10-11
Sat afternoon - South Congress excursion
Sat early evening Happy hour
Sat dinner- Dinner at Matt's El Rancho
Sat night - Shuttle anyone who wants to go downtown/6th st./Congress Ave., others may want to hang out and visit/drink at coshouse
Sunday - Brunch around 10-11
Afternoon poker tournament and shuttles to local sites of interest
Late afternoon - SB Party begins - Whole smoked Prime Rib or NY Sirloin plus tons of other typical SB foods.
Monday - Breakfast
departures

I will keep this post updated with confirmations.

Edited by General Malaise, 25 February 2013 - 09:57 PM.

[Lupe]

Logged into FB today and noticed that a few of my 'friends' joined a group called "Petition to remove facebook group praying for President Obama's death". Being curious, I clicked the link and here's what I found:

Name: Petition to remove facebook group praying for President Obama's death
Category: Common Interest - Beliefs & Causes
Description: This is a petition to REMOVE the group "DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN" from facebook.

Here is what we are asking you to do:

1) Visit the 'Prayer' group's page and report the group to facebook. (Link below.)

2) Logout for Civility from 8-8 tomorrow! RSVP to the event on the Events page and invite your friends to join you! (Link below.)

3) Sign the online petition. (Link below.)

4) Spread the word! Our strength is in our numbers to share, repost, and invite!
The link is in the Links box below.

Link to the offensive site:
link

So then I visited the link to see what all the fuss was about and sure enough, there's a page for this group with well over a million 'fans' or 'friends'. However, my question is this: Are they really praying for the death of Obama? Kind of seems more like a joke and a punchline than some sort of cause. I mean, I voted for Obama and even I chuckled a little, which is probably because I have the mentality of a 9 year old. Curious what others think.

Do a search on the governor of New Jersey (Christie) and the same prayer with his name instead of Obama's.

Edited by Lupe, 23 April 2010 - 12:51 PM.

[pantagrapher]

Removing it would just feed into their persecution complex.

Edited by pantagrapher, 23 April 2010 - 12:55 PM.

[Radical Larry]

wat

[General Malaise]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

[nelsondogg]

meh... the boobquake thing is more interesting.

[Radical Larry]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

print this out for hours of doodle fun

[St. Louis Bob]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

Yet you couldn't reply in my mobile stripper thread. I thought that would be like a moth to a flame.

[St. Louis Bob]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

print this out for hours of doodle fun

Is that a shot?!

[General Malaise]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

Yet you couldn't reply in my mobile stripper thread. I thought that would be like a moth to a flame.

I'm getting there....

[Radical Larry]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

print this out for hours of doodle fun

Is that a shot?!

Ouch. It wasn't intentional. Although you did call my cat a whore.

[St. Louis Bob]

wat

Yeah, I dunno. I'm bored.

print this out for hours of doodle fun

Is that a shot?!

Ouch. It wasn't intentional. Although you did call my cat a whore.

I thought we cleared that up.

[Radical Larry]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

[General Malaise]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Thanks for keeping my thread on point, fellas.

[St. Louis Bob]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Might want to get some ointment or something.

[Radical Larry]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Thanks for keeping my thread on point, fellas.

Sorry. My policy is not to join any FB groups unless it is shtick worthy. Like "I love being black!"

[urbanhack]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Thanks for keeping my thread on point, fellas.

Have fun at your party tonight.

[General Malaise]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Thanks for keeping my thread on point, fellas.

Sorry. My policy is not to join any FB groups unless it is shtick worthy. Like "I love being black!"

I fat fingered my way to friend PETA, confusing the hell out of my friends for a few minutes. I deleted it as soon as I could, then went out and ate a Bald Eagle.

[St. Louis Bob]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Thanks for keeping my thread on point, fellas.

Sorry. My policy is not to join any FB groups unless it is shtick worthy. Like "I love being black!"

I fat fingered my way to friend PETA, confusing the hell out of my friends for a few minutes. I deleted it as soon as I could, then went out and ate a Bald Eagle.

gdi

[General Malaise]

I thought we cleared that up.

Oh yeah. My bad.

Thanks for keeping my thread on point, fellas.

Have fun at your party tonight.

Tomorrow night and thank you. I have already called a Taxi Van in advance of this thing. I plan on being so drunk I can't operate a zipper, much less heavy machinery or a car.

[General Malaise]

Let's just go ahead and make this thread whatever the hell we want to talk about.

I've spent all day trying to make a flow sheet for some marketing presentations. I started at about 8:30am and as I type, I've got nothing more than three empty boxes and some arrows pointing to them. What I've learned is that I'm really inept and egregiously lazy. I'm not sure I'm cut out for much of anything in the work force. At some point, somebody is going to catch on to that. I just hope it's after bonus time.

[St. Louis Bob]

Let's just go ahead and make this thread whatever the hell we want to talk about.

I've spent all day trying to make a flow sheet for some marketing presentations. I started at about 8:30am and as I type, I've got nothing more than three empty boxes and some arrows pointing to them. What I've learned is that I'm really inept and egregiously lazy. I'm not sure I'm cut out for much of anything in the work force. At some point, somebody is going to catch on to that. I just hope it's after bonus time.

I can relate.

[St. Louis Bob]

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

[General Malaise]

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

Nice! You know, when I moved out of my house and into a townhouse, I thought I'd miss doing yardwork. I must have been drunk when I thought that. I don't miss it at all.

I do miss having a yard, though.

My next house, I'm thinking of getting astroturf.

[St. Louis Bob]

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

Nice! You know, when I moved out of my house and into a townhouse, I thought I'd miss doing yardwork. I must have been drunk when I thought that. I don't miss it at all.

I do miss having a yard, though.

My next house, I'm thinking of getting astroturf.

I'm pretty sick of it myself which is why I buy stuff like this I don't really need. Well, I needed a trimmer since my wife ran over my old one.

We are putting the house up for sale soon so my next house better not have tons of landscaping.

[Radical Larry]

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

Nice! You know, when I moved out of my house and into a townhouse, I thought I'd miss doing yardwork. I must have been drunk when I thought that. I don't miss it at all.

I do miss having a yard, though.

My next house, I'm thinking of getting astroturf.

Moving into a condo was a liberating experience. We had a yard sale just before we moved out of our old house (the house with 60 years worth of vegetation/fruit trees/etc. "The telescoping tree pruner? $5. Use it in good health. That weedwhacker? $5. I'll throw in about 5000 miles of string to go with it. Have fun restringing that SOB, sucker."

[Radical Larry]

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

Nice! You know, when I moved out of my house and into a townhouse, I thought I'd miss doing yardwork. I must have been drunk when I thought that. I don't miss it at all.

I do miss having a yard, though.

My next house, I'm thinking of getting astroturf.

I'm pretty sick of it myself which is why I buy stuff like this I don't really need. Well, I needed a trimmer since my wife ran over my old one.

We are putting the house up for sale soon so my next house better not have tons of landscaping.

Do that thing old people do around here. Nothing but painted rocks. Tell people it's for the environment. If your kids complain tell them to go play on the neighbor's lawn.

[General Malaise]

My ex-wife kept all the yardwork stuff. I should probably tell her that lawnmowers need to have their oil changed once in a while, but I'm morbidly curious to find out how long it will run before she figures this out on her own.

[St. Louis Bob]

Moving into a condo was a liberating experience. We had a yard sale just before we moved out of our old house (the house with 60 years worth of vegetation/fruit trees/etc. "The telescoping tree pruner? $5. Use it in good health. That weedwhacker? $5. I'll throw in about 5000 miles of string to go with it. Have fun restringing that SOB, sucker."

I hate having to do that.

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

Nice! You know, when I moved out of my house and into a townhouse, I thought I'd miss doing yardwork. I must have been drunk when I thought that. I don't miss it at all.

I do miss having a yard, though.

My next house, I'm thinking of getting astroturf.

I'm pretty sick of it myself which is why I buy stuff like this I don't really need. Well, I needed a trimmer since my wife ran over my old one.

We are putting the house up for sale soon so my next house better not have tons of landscaping.

weed eater

edger

lawn mower

leaf blower

[krista4]

We're under a tornado watch.

And thanks for a new sig, GBGM.

[St. Louis Bob]

My ex-wife kept all the yardwork stuff. I should probably tell her that lawnmowers need to have their oil changed once in a while, but I'm morbidly curious to find out how long it will run before she figures this out on her own.

I just realized Monday that I never changed the oil on my edger. Ever.

[St. Louis Bob]

We're under a tornado watch.

And thanks for a new sig, GBGM.

I hate tornadoes to the max. Funny, I was just telling a client in Texas that.

Go in the basement and take any random pills you find on the ground.

[General Malaise]

We're under a tornado watch.

And thanks for a new sig, GBGM.

Yikes, stay safe! I remember going to school in Jackson, MS being under tornado watches all the time. Scary stuff.

If you moved to Oregon, you wouldn't have those anymore.

[General Malaise]

We're under a tornado watch.

And thanks for a new sig, GBGM.

I hate tornadoes to the max. Funny, I was just telling a client in Texas that.

Go in the basement and take any random pills you find on the ground.

[krista4]

We're under a tornado watch.

And thanks for a new sig, GBGM.

I hate tornadoes to the max. Funny, I was just telling a client in Texas that.

Go in the basement and take any random pills you find on the ground.

I'd forgotten about that. Still not sure what it was.

No basement in our house. My mom and stepfather are visiting for the weekend, and we realized that the only way we could avoid being near windows in this house is if we all squeeze in the pantry.

[General Malaise]

I've had three sandwiches today.

[krista4]

We're under a tornado watch.

And thanks for a new sig, GBGM.

Yikes, stay safe! I remember going to school in Jackson, MS being under tornado watches all the time. Scary stuff.

If you moved to Oregon, you wouldn't have those anymore.

Yeah, I still wish there had been any viable jobs there. But Memphis has turned out to be pretty good. For some reason, we both really dig it.

[Radical Larry]

Moving into a condo was a liberating experience. We had a yard sale just before we moved out of our old house (the house with 60 years worth of vegetation/fruit trees/etc. "The telescoping tree pruner? $5. Use it in good health. That weedwhacker? $5. I'll throw in about 5000 miles of string to go with it. Have fun restringing that SOB, sucker."

I hate having to do that.

I bought one of these Monday.

All I could think about when using it was "I can't believe these idiots allowed me to buy this thing" and "I bet this is what God feels like He's trimming hedges."

Nice! You know, when I moved out of my house and into a townhouse, I thought I'd miss doing yardwork. I must have been drunk when I thought that. I don't miss it at all.

I do miss having a yard, though.

My next house, I'm thinking of getting astroturf.

I'm pretty sick of it myself which is why I buy stuff like this I don't really need. Well, I needed a trimmer since my wife ran over my old one.

We are putting the house up for sale soon so my next house better not have tons of landscaping.

weed eater

edger

lawn mower

leaf blower

How much do you charge per yard? Do you want a check every week or every month?

[krista4]

I've had three sandwiches today.

[Aaron Rudnicki]

My mom and stepfather are visiting for the weekend, and we realized that the only way we could avoid being near windows in this house is if we all squeeze in the pantry.

guess they are all draftable then?

[Radical Larry]

What's a tore-nay-doo? Am I saying that right? tore-nay-doo?

[krista4]

My mom and stepfather are visiting for the weekend, and we realized that the only way we could avoid being near windows in this house is if we all squeeze in the pantry.

guess they are all draftable then?

[Radical Larry]

No basement in our house. My mom and stepfather are visiting for the weekend, and we realized that the only way we could avoid being near windows in this house is if we all squeeze in the pantry.

Abandoned elevator shaft down?

[St. Louis Bob]

How much do you charge per yard? Do you want a check every week or every month?

It's good to have a back up plan. Like when I didn't realize the motor in my lawnmower was leaking oil and I blew the engine up last year.

[Radical Larry]

How much do you charge per yard? Do you want a check every week or every month?

It's good to have a back up plan. Like when I didn't realize the motor in my lawnmower was leaking oil and I blew the engine up last year.

You need to get yourself a push mower. That way your kids can mow the lawn and you won't have to worry about maiming them.

[krista4]

No basement in our house. My mom and stepfather are visiting for the weekend, and we realized that the only way we could avoid being near windows in this house is if we all squeeze in the pantry.

Abandoned elevator shaft down?

Right by the front door, with glass right next to it.

I hate this crap. Why did I move to a place that has tornados and is located on a major fault?

Better decide which kitties I love the most, just in case.

[St. Louis Bob]

Anybody else not wearing pants?

[General Malaise]

Anybody else not wearing pants?

Have you ever posted completely naked? Has anyone ever done that?

[St. Louis Bob]

Anybody else not wearing pants?

Have you ever posted completely naked? Has anyone ever done that?

No. Never.

[St. Louis Bob]

What do you call a woman that works 2.5 days a week and then makes plans to go out with her friends almost every Saturday?